spiders are terrifying

Get you a man who

-has a charity

-is British as fuck

-can do a backflip at the drop of the hat

-is a flawless ballet dancer

-is an actual meme

-won a bafta

-can sing and play guitar

-is not even remotely problematic

-is super polite to spiders even though he is terrified of them

-has a nice booty

-is extra as hell

-looks fine as hell in drag and fishnets

-embraces the frog in his mouth

-cant say croissant or comb his left eyebrow

-is actually Spiderman

-is an actual cinnamon roll

-is the purest and cutest person alive

-can take a roast like a pro

-has three precious brothers

-has an even more precious doggo named Tessa

-has a best friend named Harrison

-is named Tom Holland

2

SILM WEEK  day 7: anything you want

“There, beneath the sheer walls of the mountains and the cold dark sea, the shadows were deepest and thickest in the world; and there in Avathar, secret and unknown, U N G O L I A N T had made her abode. The Eldar knew not whence she came; but some have said that in ages long before she descended from the darkness that lies about Arda, when Melkor first looked down in envy upon the Kingdom of Manwë, and that in the beginning she was one of those that he corrupted to his service. But she had disowned her Master, desiring to be mistress of her own lust, taking all things to herself to feed her emptiness; and she fled to the south, escaping the assaults of the Valar and the hunters of Oromë, for their vigilance had ever been to the north, and the south was long unheeded. Thence she had crept towards the light of the Blessed Realm; for she hungered for light and hated it.”

anonymous asked:

Opinion on Parker?

the bitsy spider is like… a mildly terrifying combo of steve and tony. he has all of steve’s moral uprightness and willingness to do what he believes is right, regardless of consequences, and all of tony’s i-will-do-science-and-thereby-solve-my-problems method of dealing with life. he’s good people though, despite an unfortunate tendency to eat pizza while sitting on the ceiling and drip hot cheese into my hair. not cool, peterbird.

what makes him kinda terrifying is that he physically looks like steve did pre-superjuice, plus a few inches and a few pounds, but he’s crazy strong. the only avengers who can beat him in sheer strength are hulk and thor. and neither of them really have a calculable upper limit on their strength, so.

but being able to kick both stevie and i across the room doesnt stop him from looking like he needs to be bundled in blankets and tucked in a corner where nobody can bully him. lemmie tell you, it plays merry hell on my nerves when somebody throws a bus at him and he catches it and throws it back

  • Slytherin: So then I was like- OH SHIT!!
  • Ravenclaw: Well that's an odd response to someone telling you they like you.
  • Slytherin: nO NOT THAT THERE'S A SPIDER!!
  • Slytherin: SHIT!!
  • Ravenclaw: Oh.
  • Ravenclaw: Ok.
  • Ravenclaw: And?
  • Slytherin: AND I'M NOPING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!
  • Slytherin: *trips over themselves running out of room*
I See You

(I didn’t steal the gif I made it myself which is why it’s crappy lmao)

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: you would think fighting crime on a daily basis would give Peter Parker the ability to recognise when someone needs help. It turns out, that might be a skill employed by Spider-Man alone. 

Warnings: depression, gets a bit sad, suicide attempt, one tiny swear

A/N: I listened to Almost Over by Aquilo while I wrote this, and while it’s a song about breaking up, I think it really fits <3 Also @thekillingquill​ basically gave me this idea so she’s going down as co-writer (I hope I didn’t ruin it)

Disclaimer: I know this is quite a sensitive issue and I hope I did it justice. Mental health is so important but it’s also unique to every individual, and depression can manifest itself differently in different people. I did research for this and also drew on my own experiences, but please remember that this is fiction <3 

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“I promise to hold you when you’re cold or when you just want to be held.

I promise to always kiss you goodbye.

I promise to take you on cute dates. Museums, concerts, fancy restaurants and the shitty ones too.

I promise to surprise you with flowers or your favorite candy.

I promise to kill the spiders although I’m terrified of them as well.

I promise to always touch you gently.

I promise to listen to you.

I promise to hold your hand when someone stares at you for too long.

I promise to never go a day without telling you how indescribably beautiful you are, and how insanely lucky I am to call you mine.

I promise to always encourage you and your singing, I promise to always be your #1 fan.

I promise to be there on days you cry whenever you are reminded by the fact that your mom gave up on you so easily, and how she was embarrassed by the fact that you love me.

I promise to work everyday to be a better person, for you and for myself. I want you proud of me.

I promise to never force you on rollercoasters no matter how much I want to see your face on one.

I promise to write about you, you’re my inspiration.

I promise to watch Spongebob with you when you’re in a bad mood and you’re just wanting a laugh.

I promise to make stupid jokes so I can see your beautiful smile.

I promise to take pictures of you doing absolutely nothing because thats all it takes for you to be the most captivating human I’ve ever known.

I promise to carry you when you don’t feel like walking.

I promise to jump in front of anyone who tries to hurt you.

I promise to watch your chick flicks, they annoy me, but you don’t.

I promise to tease you just to see you pout so I can kiss your pouty lips and see you smile afterwards. Knowing I have that power, is the most rewarding thing.

I promise to sing to you although I sound like shit.

I promise to put my book down whenever you’re wanting to talk. My attention is yours whenever you want it.

I promise to always defend you.

I promise to wait for you. People say its too hard on your heart, but whats harder is imagining my life without you in it.

I promise to be open with you about how I feel even if its hard for me. You taught me to lay everything out there because I don’t know when I’ll ever have that chance again.

I promise to be different from every other person you’ve ever known, every person thats walked out on you.

I promise to tell everyone I come across how lucky I am to simply know you.

I promise to love you unconditionally.

I promise to be your safe place forever.

I promise to never make you feel like your feelings are invalid.

I promise to remember every important date of ours.

I promise to kiss every place you’re insecure about.

I promise you that every lyric, every person I come across, every sunset, will remind me of you when I go days without speaking to you. I miss you so much that I look for you in everything I see.

I promise to be 100% without a doubt, completely yours.

I promise to never give you a reason to not trust me.

I promise to play the guitar for you even with my slight fear of playing in front of people.

I promise to always make sure you’re warm.

I promise that you’re safe as long as you’re with me.

I promise to call you randomly when I miss your voice.

I promise to make life fun, so be ready for adventures, memories, and more memories.

I promise to give you your space whenever you want it.

I promise to write you cute poems, and give you a lot of forehead kisses.

I promise to rub your arm with my thumb because I know how much you love it.

I promise to brush your hair whenever you get out of the shower if you’re too lazy to.

I promise to go out of my way to make sure you feel safe all the time.

I promise to love you so much it makes people sick.

I promise to watch scary movies with you that I’ve already seen so I can cover your eyes when I know a scary part is coming up.

I promise to be grateful for your love every single day.

I promise you that I won’t give up.”

—  I’ll be here when you come back

Cursed Child rant

Alright, Witches, Wizards, Muggles, and magical creatures big and small, hold onto your broomsticks because I’m about to tell you why I do not like Harry Potter and the Cursed Child nor accept it as canon. 

Spoilers ahead. Obviously. but c’mon who hasn’t read it or been spoiled by now Also, it got super long. 


Let’s start off by saying: it’s been months since I read it. If I get some things off a little, go ahead and tell me; I’ll edit the rant and correct it. If you just don’t agree with me… that’s great for you. Okay? We good? That’s all the disclaimer you’re getting. Moving on! 


Where do I begin? Um… Let’s recap shall we? 

It starts with Albus Severus Potter (who’s name I still cannot get over) meeting and becoming friends with Scorpius Malfoy. 

Okay. Great. We’ve all wanted that for years. No problem. 

We’ve also played with the idea of Albus in Slytherin for years. I have no problem with that either. 

What I do have problems with is the way Albus is treated after he is put in Slytherin. He’s the outcast of his family. He’s the “disappointing son”. After Harry’s canon “the bravest man I knew was Slytherin” speech (don’t get me started on Snape), I expected a bit better treatment of Slytherins. But Albus is Slytherin and looked at sideways by the entire cast, except Scorpius. This could easily become a rant about Slytherin’s and stereotypes and treatment, but I give enough of those already. 

My issues are mostly with Albus’ personality. Now, I didn’t write the character. He’s not mine. I don’t have the authority to tell anyone how he should be. All I can do is have headcanons. But “canon” Albus doesn’t exactly display a lot of Slytherin traits. Sure he sneaks around, but so does Harry, Ron, and Hermione and they’re all Gryffindor. If my memory serves me correctly, Albus goes to Slytherin because he basically thinks, “Well, the Gryffindors I know suck, let’s try Slytherin.”it’s been a while since I read it okay  

Albus is jaded by the time the plot picks up. He doesn’t like flying, isn’t that good at it or Quidditch (which honestly feels like they’re just trying to make him as unlike Harry as possible which I could handle if it wasn’t so badly written), and is basically convinced his life is horrible. (I’ll get into why a little later.) This kid shows no Slytherin traits that I remember. He hardly shows any traits really. I think it was the play format, but Albus becomes a stereotypical teenager who has daddy issues and doesn’t like his life. 

Scorpius I don’t really have a big problem with, besides it going against my personal headcanons. He at least shows a bit more Slytherin traits than jaded Albus. I feel like they were trying to break Slytherin stereotypes with him- which is great and all, but it almost makes me feel like that’s all Scorpius’ personality was. As if he was made to simply disrupt our preconceived ideas of what Slytherin is. I don’t like it. Stereotypes are something I can’t stand, but come on, people, don’t strip my house of what we actually are. 

Okay, moving on from Slytherin. 

Let’s take a step back from the new characters and visit the one’s we already know, we already love. Oh wait, they’ve been ripped to shreds. 

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How Introvertive Writers Who Would Rather Bury Their Writing in a Swamp Than Share it With Other Human Beings Can Start a Blog

               If you’re like me, writing is an incredibly personal experience. You hide in your room in the middle of the night and create imaginary worlds that you’re not sure anyone else will ever understand. The idea of sharing these things online where the entire world can see them can be completely terrifying.

               So, when I heard that writers are encouraged to have blogs in order to “get your name out there” and “develop your brand” I did what any self-respecting introvert writer would do: I decided that I would keep writing in my room and hope that after I died someone would find my work and publish it. That’s a valid approach, right? I mean, it worked for Emily Dickinson!

               Yet as the weeks went on, this nagging feeling kept bugging me. It was the impending feeling of regret. If I don’t at least try to do this, will I always wonder what would have happened if I did? There was part of me that knew I would regret it if I did not at least try to take my writing further. Though, I might be an introvert, I am not one to step away from a challenge. I decided to dip my toe into this, taking the smallest baby steps I could possibly come up with, so that I could psychologically adjust to the idea of putting my writing online. Here are some of the teeny tiny steps I followed to start my blog. I decided to share this in case anyone else out there is as freaked out as I was and might need a little help.

Week 1: Look at different blog sites -  That’s a pretty safe step for an introvert. You don’t have to talk to anyone, write anything, or interact with any other human beings. Just look around at sites and decide which one looks like it might fit your style.

Week 2: Create an account on the site you chose – At this point, you will have to create a user name, but remember you don’t have to use your real name if you don’t want to. If you’re worried that future employers or unaccepting acquaintances might be weirded out by the bizarre stuff you write, use a name that will make it difficult to find you. One of the biggest reliefs to me was when I realized that I didn’t have to share my writing with anyone if I didn’t want to. There’s a reason that authors having been writing under pen names since publishing was invented.

Week 3: Format your page -  Look at different templates and choose an initial design that you want to use. Most likely this will change later as your blog develops, so you don’t need to overthink this. You will probably want to add a profile picture, but remember that it does not need to be an actual photo. If you want to use a picture of a unicorn eating a doughnut, go right ahead!

Week 4: Read other blogs and think about what you want to write – If you are a very reclusive person, I would advise you to not interact with anyone at this time. Just look around and think. After all, that’s what people like us do best. Read for a while without talking to people, following anyone, messaging, etc. Just read and think. If you feel like you don’t need to do this, then by all means feel free to go to the next step, but if you’re terrified of putting your work online, you will likely be grateful to have the opportunity to procrastinate for a week.

Weeks 5-8: Write a bunch of random stuff that you might want to post one day, but don’t post any of it – At this point, none of your attempts should leave the hard drive of your computer. You’re just playing around. Write whatever you want. Make it ridiculous. Make it one sentence. Ramble on and on about whatever you feel like. Just write stuff and see if you can come up with a theme for your blog. Whenever you write something you actually want to use, move it to a separate folder to consider posting later.

Weeks 9 -12: Post one of your blog attempts each week– OK, this is the most terrifying part, but here’s why you can feel comfortable doing this: If you actually followed my advice and didn’t follow anyone or interact with people, there’s a good chance that no one will see it! Isn’t that wonderful? Yes, you do need to remember that nothing is ever truly erased from the internet, so don’t write anything incredibly revealing or post nude photos or something, but nobody will care if you just post a bunch of crappy blog attempts. Put some stuff out there that you don’t mind having on your anonymous page. Over these four weeks you can delete things, change them, move stuff around, and get your page to the point that you don’t mind if someone on the other side of the world reads it. With any luck, it will also reflect your work and the kinds of things you like to create.

Weeks 13: Start following people – By now, hopefully you should be feeling alright about your page. You’ve played around with it and gotten a couple decent things posted. It may not be the most refined page on the internet, but who cares? You have something up that represents you as a writer and hopefully you’ve gotten it to the point that you won’t mind if some stranger you will never meet sees it. Start following some people who have pages you like. Don’t be surprised if they don’t follow you back, but occasionally someone will. While you’re at it, go ahead and get another post up for this week.

Week 14: Comment on some posts – Is there a post you read that really moved you? Why not say so? Go ahead and leave some comments here and there to interact with people. One of the great things about being a writer is that other writers are usually as introvertive and strange as you are. If someone wrote something you can really relate to, go ahead and tell them! Remember, you don’t have to ever talk to them again if you don’t want. Oh yeah, and don’t forget to write another post! (Even one sentence is fine.)

Week 15: Muster up all your strength and message someone – Is there a blog that really inspires you, or someone you would like to get advice from? Go ahead and send a message telling them how much they inspire you, or ask for advice if you want it. Unless you’re writing to someone with a ridiculously popular blog, most people will write back. Believe it or not, the majority of writers are actually pretty friendly and encouraging. (If you need somewhere to start, feel free to send me a message. I promise to reply and you are under no obligation to ever talk to me again. Just know that I take a week or two to respond.) Then of course you need to put up another post for this week.

Week 16: Keep doing what you’ve been doing since week 9: Guess what? You’re blogging! By now you’re posting every week, following people, commenting on other’s posts and messaging people. If you keep doing that, you will grow your blog. You may have even gotten a follower or two! If you miss a week, don’t give up or freak out, just come back to it when you get a chance and keep going. (As I’m getting ready to post this, I realized I haven’t written anything new on here for two weeks. But you know what? Life goes on, and at least I’m getting something posted now.)

          Now, if you’re feeling incredibly bold, you might actually have a close friend or relative in the real world that you’re willing to tell about your newly formed blog. But if you don’t want to, don’t worry about it. You’ve created a place that is safe for you to experiment with your writing and you can make it as private or as public as you feel comfortable. Blogging doesn’t have to be an incredibly public experience that everyone in your life knows about. With a little discretion, you can keep your page a safe place to share your thoughts and you can retain your sanity as an introvertive writer.

Spiders Aren't That Bad : Peter Parker x Reader

Originally posted by peterparkerimagine

“Peter, what the hell are you doing up there again?” You whisper harshly.

It was the fifth time he had tried to scare you that week by attempting to drop down in front of you whenever you walked into a room. It never worked because he would always end up falling to the floor whenever he tried.

“Dammit, (Y/N). You can’t just give me this one nice thing?” Peter groans, making his way back down to the floor without hurting himself. 

“No, just because we’re dating doesn’t mean that you have the right to scare me by dropping down from the ceiling,” you retort.

“You’re no fun,” Peter smirks, kissing you lightly before going to his room to change. You just roll your eyes at him and head to the kitchen for a snack. Dating the Spiderman was always going to be odd. There was one point when you two were going on a date and he literally picked you up from the balcony outside your window. You’re both still basically kids so to him, picking you up fro the balcony was the coolest thing ever, not even a little bit concerned for your safety. 

You open the fridge to find nothing desirable inside, even after shuffling its contents more than once. You sigh and make your way to the pantry where all the decent snacks are held. You’re going on a date with Peter later, but it’s just too far away to not eat beforehand. As soon as you open the door to the pantry, a huge brown spider drops right in front of your eyes, attempting to get somewhere that wasn’t near you.

“NO! NO, NO, NO!” You shout, running as far away from the little killer as you can. You end up hiding behind the couch as Peter comes running out of his room with his shirt undone and only one sock on. 

“What happened?!” He asks, quickly scanning the room for any possible threat.

“There’s a spider in the pantry, and I swear it wants to kill me!” You shout. You had absolutely no problem with spiders when it came to Peter, but when it came to actual spiders, you were terrified of them. 

Peter goes to look into the pantry and sees the spider still hanging there at eye level. “So, I can’t scare you, but this spider can?”

anonymous asked:

tododeku and tsuchako :0c ??

TodoDeku

  • Who said “I love you” first: It was actually Todoroki! One day Izuku literally just smiled at him and he just let it slip; it was extremely casual and he didn’t even realize he said it at first. Izuku heard him though, though. Izuku definitely heard him and it showed in his body language.
  • Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: Izuku! He likes taking pictures of Todoroki when he’s not paying attention, he’s got a whole folder dedicated to it on his phone gallery.
  • Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: Izuku. “If I leave smudges on the bathroom mirror in the steam, he’ll use his quirk to see what I wrote.” In reality, Todoroki didn’t even notice it until Izuku asked him about it, but what Izuku doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
  • Who buys the other cheesy gifts: Todoroki. He’ll see something that reminds him of Izuku and buy it on impulse. Needless to say, Izuku has a very strange collection of gifts at this point.
  • Who initiated the first kiss: Izuku did. It was one of those really awkward ‘I have to stand on my tiptoes to try to make this work’ kisses and Todoroki almost didn’t realize what Izuku was trying to do. Almost. The kiss wasn’t a complete failure, even if it was awkward and they bumped noses.
  • Who kisses the other awake in the morning: Izuku loves giving Todoroki kisses in the morning? He just showers him in kisses while Todoroki is barely awake.
  • Who starts tickle fights: Todoroki. He found out Izuku was ticklish during a hug once, and ever since, he’ll ‘accidentally’ tickle Izuku when cuddling. Izuku tries to retaliate but Todoroki isn’t ticklish and he can’t really complain without feeling kind of guilty because, “It’s just an accident, I swear.”
  • Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: Todoroki, though he doesn’t do it with lewd intentions. It’s a ‘we both need to take showers, why not together’ thing, but regardless, Izuku never fails to get flustered over it.
  • Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch: Todoroki. He likes surprising Izuku and while he does it calmly and acts like it’s totally not a surprise, he likes seeing Izuku become a blushing mess because he decided to stop by with lunch.
  • Who was nervous and shy on the first date: Both of them were. Izuku was a nervous wreck and Todoroki was a silent mess of anxiety.
  • Who kills/takes out the spiders: Todoroki. Izuku is terrified of them, but he also doesn’t want to kill them. So Todoroki always ends up catching a spider and walking outside, typically in the middle of the night, to release them— because Izuku insists.
  • Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: Izuku.

TsuChako

  • Who said “I love you” first: They said it at the same time, or at least that’s the compromise that they’ve reached. Tsuyu started off with “Hey I have something to tell you—” and immediately they both blurted it out. If you ask them who said it first, the ‘argument’ that ensues will go on for several minutes and they might even forget that you’re there.
  • Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: Ochako; she spends her free time putting stickers and filters on selfies of Tsuyu and having a crisis over which one to use as a background and which to use as a screensaver.
  • Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: Ochako!
  • Who buys the other cheesy gifts: Tsuyu has a growing collection of frog-themed trinkets and plushes because Ochako can’t help herself and impulsively buys them for her.
  • Who initiated the first kiss: It was an accident. Ochako had leaned in to kiss her on the cheek and Tsuyu turned her head. It wasn’t bad, it was just really cliché and in front of all of their friends.
  • Who kisses the other awake in the morning: Ochako can’t help herself when it comes to these things.
  • Who starts tickle fights: Tsuyu. Ochako is extremely ticklish and it’s a fun distraction.
  • Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: Tsuyu. She doesn’t have lewd intentions, she just doesn’t see a reason for why they can’t bathe together.
  • Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch: Ochako may have the ‘I bought you this present’ surprise on lock, but Tsuyu most certainly knows how to play the cards correctly when it comes to these types of things. That one dish from that really obscure restaurant across the city that only Ochako seems to like? Just so happens that Tsuyu happened to stop by there? Unplanned? And she just happened to remember Ochako’s favorite dish and how she liked for it to be prepared and what kind of drink she liked with it? What a coincidence.
  • Who was nervous and shy on the first date: Ochako. Tsuyu spent most of the date trying to make sure Ochako wasn’t panicking, but she enjoyed comforting her so it was alright.
  • Who kills/takes out the spiders: Tsuyu.
  • Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: Ochako! She also has a habit of slinging her arm around Tsuyu’s shoulders and she starts referring to Tsuyu solely as ‘my girlfriend’ with a ton of emphasis.