anonymous asked:

What if there were tinies who farmed spiders and made clothes and fabrics from the silk.

That’d be quite adorable actually, they give their lil spiders names and make cute clothes from their silk!
They keep their eight legged pals in adorable pens, big and spacious with plenty of corners and climbing places for them to hang out- brushing their fur if they’re the fuzzy sort and giving them blankets to wear (much like you do with a horse) when it gets cold!

Also spider silk is so strong they can knit Christmas jumpers as strong as steel!

Random Story Time!

This happened to me a few weeks ago.

I was in my kitchen late at night and I was close to heading to bed. I look down on the floor and saw something black and roughly the size of a quarter. It was a spider; and spiders that size was considered ‘big’ where I live.

Most of the spiders I see in my apartment are smaller then this one. My immediate reaction was “OOOOh, what the FUCK!?”

Needless to say, I killed it asap.

Why am I telling this story? I never reacted to seeing a house spider like that before, and for whatever reason it seems funny to me now.

…Yeah

Random story over!

vine

When killing a spider doesn’t go as planned

So…

“I thought I ate a spider in my sleep” 

This has got to be one of my favourite creepypastas on the web. I love the chills and suspense the story offers. Why Jack? I have no idea. Well, I guess it’s because he used to read creepypastas on his channel. I came across them as Chilling Tales for Dark Nights did a video showing creepypastas that have been read by Youtubers, including Jack.

- Jess


I couldn’t resist going again with Floof Wars. Here we see what fugly Australian animals love doing most – plotting to kill every other living thing in Australia. To explain who these critters are:

Cassowary – Massive, eternally pissed-off bird keen to disembowel you with its raptor-claws.  

Funnel Web Spider –  Deadly toxic spider with fangs as big as Dracula.

Inland Taipan - Quite simply the most venomous snake on the planet.

Redback Spider – Enjoys cosy warm house interiors, and killing you.

Tiger Snake – Aggressive deadly snake eager to pwn you.

Blue Ringed Octopus – a painless little sting that results in a quick vomiting death.

King Brown Snake – get bitten and you’re dead in a hour.

Australian Salt Water Crocodile – Doesn’t wait for swimmers, comes looking for you on land.

Box Jellyfish - Been stung? Prepare to die in agony within 5 minutes.

Dingo – always thinking about eating babies.

5

Bryan, on my Facebook Spider Outreach Group did not believe me when I explained to him that Hobo Spiders are harmless.  So, he sarcastically challenged me to put one on my face….well, little did he know that it is a challenge right up my alley!  I’ve even been known to put spiders with medically significant venom on my face (here’s Julia, my black widow, on my nose), so a harmless spider with just a bunch of internet hoopla based on old anecdotal evidence that has since been scientifically proven to be false???  Game on. 

I’m in SoCal, so I reached out to other members in the Pacific Northwest to send me their Hobos!   One handsome little fellow arrived today (thanks, Jessica!).  

Another myth squished (no pun intended). Bryan was a good sport and admitted defeat.    We still never did figure out what injured his foot though….

#spiderfacechallenge

So, we don’t kill spiders in this household, we either leave them alone or escort them out to the front field where they can be free and happy. A few have made webs in set places (like George in the bathroom, who guards our toilet paper, and Bethany, descendant of Beth, who has a tiny web above my bed). I like my spiders.

Tonight, I’m lying here trying to write a damn story, and there’s this FLY buzzing around my room in the dark, blundering into everything and generally being an obnoxious little shit, every once in a while finding my screen just to be extra intrusive. Then suddenly it stops, and I just hear buzzing in one place. over and over.

I turned my light on and sure as shit, Bethany had it in her web and was working her hardest to silence my foe.

Good job Bethany. Thank you.