Spider-yeast, spider-yeast, Does whatever a spider-please
(I use a spider-man plastic cereal bowl for proofing yeast because it works GREAT.)
Pretzel bites ACHIEVED. The substitute brown sugar was okay, but real brown sugar wouldn’t have clumped as much in the flour. Also it seemed like not enough oil, so I used closer to a quarter of a cup than an eighth.
And I finally replaced my pastry brush after The Incident. I KNOW IT’S A BASTING BRUSH but it worked really well, washes more easily, and it was only a dollar at the hardware store. I’m sure something in it is going to kill me eventually.
The pretzel bites came out delicious and using celery salt for a topping ended up being pretty genius because it’s salty but not too salty, which is usually my problem with pretzels in general. Also, next time I’m just going to stuff them all with garlic cheese, because that shit is delicious.
So there was a spider in our kitchen and me, my mum and my sister were too scared to move it cuz it was huge so we made this wonderful device which I’m calling the Spider-Catcher 2000. It consists of a tube from a roll of wrapping paper duck taped onto a salad a bowl with galaxy patterned duck tape.
We caught the spider under the bowl, put a piece of A3 card under it and used the stick to drag it across the floor to the door. We didn’t know how to get it outside from there as, if we picked up the paper from either end, the bowl would fall off and the spider would escape. We stood there, thinking of what to do while laughing about how elaborate it was. I took the photo and then mum managed to slide the door mat under the paper, wrap the whole thing into a bundle using the mat and she then threw the whole thing outside and we shut the door. We’re going to sleep now and the whole thing, including the door mat, is still outside.
A/n: This is my first ever request. Hope you like it anon. ;) I got carried away again and there’s a bit of fluff with Pietro because, well it's Pietro and it’s mandatory. ;) Hope it’s not too rubbish!
Everyone groaned as Tony practically skipped into the room. Dressed in a Victorian suit and tails, top hat and a cane - he looked very Sherlock Holmes. None of your fellow Avengers appeared all that impressed, having been pulled out of training for Tony’s ‘announcement’. You seemed to be the only excited one in the room, loving this time of year and the opportunity to go to a Tony Stark halloween party. Most likely it was the fact you were pretty new and hadn’t had the experience yet. Recruited a few months ago you have the ability to rebuild objects and buildings from a previous photograph, which came in handy after all the devastation in Sokovia.
With a dramatic bow Tony twirled the top hat and rolled it down his arm, flicking the hat up in to the air and catching it in his hand, giving you all a smug smile.
“In this hat are pieces of paper with two names on, one you have to prank every day until my spook-tacular party, the other you have to come dressed as,” Steve mumbled his disapproval under his breath, “no objections grandpa. Well, who wants to go first?” Tony shook the hat, looking at the group expectantly. No one moved.
“How about you sweet cheeks?” Tony’s pleading gaze landed on you and you squirmed in your seat, all eyes on you. You didn’t really have a choice now. Thanks Tony.
“Sweet cheeks?” You scowled at him while rummaging through the bits of paper. Unfolding one you grinned. Quicksilver & Black Widow. This could be cool, or you could be mincemeat. You looked up about to ask if you could pick again when Tony smiled, lifting a finger to your mouth.
“Ah don’t tell us, you’ll ruin the surprise.”
He moved past you to Wanda, she did not look impressed. She sighed loudly when she read her bit of paper, muttering to Pietro in Sokovian. Reluctantly the Avengers all took their pick, some looking happier than others. You caught Pietro giving you a knowing smile and your stomach churned, you’d be in for it he decided to prank you. Bruce was the last to pick, his face not really giving anything away.
“Thanks kids, must dash, things to do and all that.” Tony left as dramatically as he came in. Pepper walked behind him embarrassed and mouthing sorry to you all. As soon as they were out of sight everyone looked at each other.
“Who did you get then?”
It was lame. You knew you were playing it safe with Natasha’s prank, but you didn’t want to get shot and there was no way in hell you would prank Pietro, that man would make payback last forever. So you got up early and sneaked into the kitchen, putting the fake spider in Natasha’s box of cereal.
You tried to stay casual when she walked in, sleepy and still in her pyjamas.
“You’re up early.” Natasha observed you through bleary eyes, too tired to really care. You concentrated on your coffee as she poured her cereal and the spider plopped into the bowl. She didn’t notice at first pouring in her milk and picking up the bowl, about to eat a spoonful of plastic spider.
The master assassin let out a quiet squeal, dropping the bowl on the counter. Milk and cereal spilled everywhere while she beat the fake spider with her spoon.
“BARTON!” Natasha screamed and you made a swift exit, trying not to giggle as you ran to the gym.
“Hey Bucky.” You smiled when you spotted him. You enjoyed training with Bucky he was one of the first people you opened up to. He had been assigned to you as part of his rehabilitation and was funny and smart, never pushing you too far. When he didn’t answer you glanced over to see his worried expression.
“Are you ok?” You asked him. He looked up like he’d only just realized you were there, fiddling with the mechanism on his arm.
“Yeah, I’m just, my arm doesn’t feel right.”
“I’ll go easy on you for a change.” You joked and he smiled.
“Ok then. Let’s see if you can take me down, just like we practiced.” You hated that move, you had to twist his arm around and flip him over. He must have noticed your worried expression.
“Don’t worry you can’t hurt me.”
You started sparring, attempting to get a proper hold so you could twist him around. Eventually he grabbed hold of you and you took the opportunity, pulling on his metal arm and swinging him around onto the floor so you were almost straddling him. You grinned triumphantly then noticed his look of horror. He started screaming in pain, writhing around on the floor clutching his shoulder. Blood was spurting out making a pool on the floor.
“Oh my god, Bucky! Your arm!” Realizing it was in your hands you screamed and threw it to the ground.
“What have you done?!” In a panic you tried to wrap the wound as he kept on screaming, a horrible sound that terrified you.
“Help me, put it back on!”
“I’m so sorry! How did I even do that?! Jarvis we need a medic, training room 6 please hurry!”
The gym doors burst open and Clint and Sam ran in. Confused you went to ask where the medic was when a bright flash blinded you. They took a picture?! As your sight returned you noticed the screaming had stopped. You turned around to see Bucky sat with a wide grin on his face, metal arm resting in his lap.
“Sorry y/n. It’s getting upgraded today, I couldn’t resist.”
“You bastard James Buchanan Barnes, I thought you were dying!”
Bucky just shrugged joining in with Clint and Sam’s laughter.
“You’re in trouble now, she said your full name!” Clint piped up in between laughs.
“Man, this is so going on the big screen!” Sam chuckled and held up his phone for you to see. it was a picture of you covered in fake blood looking horrified, with Bucky waving his arm at the camera and grinning behind you. Oh god.
You huffed and stomped away not letting them see the smile begin to form on your face.
“Good one you bloody idiots.”
After a shower to get rid of all that surprisingly sticky fake blood you headed to the kitchen, deciding double chocolate cookies were the only cure for your embarrassment. Rounding the corner you stopped, peeved to see Pietro pulling your biscuit tin down from the cupboard. Again.
“Those are my biscuits.”
“Hmm, well, they are mine now.” He teased while trying to get the lid off the biscuit tin. Cursing you tried to grab it out of his hands. He dodged you making you jump for the tin and laughing. You were really getting annoyed now.
“I want those bloody cookies!”
Your protests only made him cockier, before you realized you were chasing him around the kitchen. Pietro laughed at you, teasing as he stopped then zoomed away at the last second.
“Still mine, aha!” He zoomed to the other end of the kitchen finally managing to loosen the lid. You started stomping over to him, fully ready to kill him. No one steals your cookies.
Pietro screamed in shock when the lid fired off, fake snakes flying out of the tin at him. He shouted something in Sokovian, swatting them away and running to hide behind you.
“Pietro they aren’t real!” You doubled over in laughter, his grip on you loosened and he backed away a little, embarrassed.
“They looked real.” He tried to defend himself, crossing his arms over his chest.
“That was so good! Your face Pietro you screamed like a girl!”
You carried on laughing and he gave you the evil eye while he walked back over to the biscuit tin. He kicked the snakes away gingerly not completely sure they were fake. He shook the tin over the counter, tipping it up and looking inside, frowning in disappointment.
“Where are the cookies?”
You were in hysterics then, hardly able to breathe, tears clouding your vision.
“What’s so funny?” Pietro asked a bit peeved.
You tried to calm down a bit, however your giddy mood wouldn’t shift. You grabbed one of the snakes and held it out like a sword, throwing another one to Pietro.
“En garde monsieur road runneur!”
After a dramatic bow Pietro got into a fighting stance, the most serious look on his face.
“You killed my father. Prepare to die!”
With that you both chased each other around the kitchen again, play fighting with the snakes. When he decided you were a bit too good at beating him he started doing laps around you, stopping to thump you on the bum. Too far Pietro. You attempted to trip him up and failed, he dodged everything with that annoying smirk on his annoying face.
“I understood that reference! awesome film.” Steve and Clint walked in, clearly amused at the sight of you both messing around. Calming down a little you started picking up the snakes and the biscuit tin, nudging Pietro playfully.
“I demand a rematch, monsieur.“ You whispered. Pietro laughed and nudged you back, both of you sharing a smile.
“Snakes in a can? Which old man came up with that one?” Clint scoffed, eyeing Steve.
“You are all old men!”
Clint swatted Pietro around the ear making you and Steve laugh.
“Respect your elders.”
“After yesterday, Bucky I’d say,” you noticed Steve smirking, “guess you heard about that then? Well tell him he got Pietro this time.”
Pietro gaped at you ‘why did you tell them?!’ written all over his face. You just smiled and started walking away, giggling to yourself as you heard Steve and Clint start teasing him.
You felt a little bad as you walked to your room, not enough to go back and rescue him though.
You shut the door behind you, breathing heavily as the little guinea pigs ran around your feet, squeaking for food and attention. The whole room was one big fluffy moving carpet. God they were cute but there were so many of them it was like the invasion of the guinea tribbles!
You pulled out your phone and angrily dialed Bucky’s number. It rang and rang, he always took ages to answer. You picked up a particularly friendly guinea that was nibbling your toe and let him sit on your shoulder. He snuggled into your neck tickling you.
“What the hell Bucky?!”
“Y/n? What’s the matter?” Bucky sounded sleepy, “what’s that noise?”
“You know damn well!” The squeaking started to get louder, they must be very hungry. Where were you going to find food for a hundred guinea pigs?
“Are those…guinea pigs? how many of them are there?!” He was laughing now making you even angrier.
“Get your arse over here Barnes and get rid of them!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I haven’t pranked you since yesterday…”
“What am I supposed to do with them all?“
“I don’t know, find a big carrot?!” He started laughing again and you hung up on him.
I hate you Barnes.
You gently opened the door to try and get help, and food, failing to stop the guinea pigs escaping. How did Bucky even get so many? Their cute little bums wiggled as they made their way out of your room and investigated the corridor.
“Crap.” you whispered trying to round them all up. They were so wriggly. You managed to hold two in one arm, two on your shoulders and one on your head, yet there were still some on the loose, chewing everything.
Wanda walked out of the common room with a big smile, cooing at a guinea pig she had caught.
“Is this yours?” She burst out laughing when she saw your predicament and helped you round them up. Soon Tony and the other’s joined in, starting a competition who could round up the most.
“Why are guinea pigs running wild in my tower y/n?” Tony asked putting yet another guinea pig back into your room.
“Blame your halloween game… and Bucky.” You shrugged and he laughed.
“Have to admit it is original.”
“And cute.” Wanda said, still holding one of the guinea pigs as it chewed on her long brown hair.
“Hey that cost ten thousand dollars!” Tony scooped up a rogue guinea pig that was happily chewing on his sideboard.
“I think that’s all of them.”
“Jarvis will arrange to return them, luckily the culprit sourced them responsibly.” Tony said sarcastically.
“Not heavy or anything, no need to help.”
Sam heaved a huge crate of vegetables and pellets into the hallway. You thanked him and grabbed some lettuce and pellets.
“Anyone want to help feed them?” They all shook their heads.
Being careful you stepped inside. The little guinea pigs immediately mugged you crawling up your legs causing you to fall over. They crawled all over you squeaking, it was the weirdest sensation.
“I am the guinea queen!”
Your muffled voice shouted out from the sea of fur. You could just about hear the avengers laughing at you, not helping, just laughing and taking pictures - typical.
When the madness had died down and they finally got tired of teasing you the avengers drifted off to bed until it was just you and Pietro left in the common room. You both sat in comfortable silence for a while, only half watching the old zombie movie on the television.
Your eyes drifted to Pietro as he sat sprawled out on the sofa. His silver hair appeared to glow in the flickering light, highlighting his features and making his blue eyes even brighter. You watched his chest rise and fall for a few moments. He yawned loudly and shifted so he was sat looking at you with an amused expression. He had definitely caught you staring. Oops.
“Want to stay in my room tonight?”
He scooted over to you, draping an arm over your shoulder and looking you over. You blushed under his gaze, wishing it was more than just him flirting.
“I don’t think so, you snore.” You nudged him away, sticking our tongue out at him. He returned the gesture and leaned back against the sofa, putting his feet up on the table.
“It will be more comfortable than the sofa, you can have my bed.”
“You haven’t heard your snoring.”
He sighed and shrugged, giving up. You hated being so nervous around him always resorting to jokes to cover up how you really felt. He probably thought you were an idiot.
“Fine printesa, don’t get into any more trouble before morning, ok?“
Pietro zoomed off, returning a second later to throw a duvet and pillows at you. He must be feeling a little sorry for you. God knows what state your room would be in by the time all the guineas were relocated. He sat down again purposely leaning on you.
“Don’t worry, Bucky’s probably somewhere plotting his next act of torture.”
“Stark’s party is tomorrow? There can’t be many more pranks.”
“I suppose not.”
He leaned down and kissed your cheek, shocking you as his lips lingered a moment and he placed his hand on your leg squeezing it gently. Your cheek tingled and you gazed at him curiously. This was so out of character, even though you always flirted he was never so affectionate. His eyes never left yours, searching them, waiting for your reaction.
Your heart was pounding, it screamed at you to grab him and kiss him, while your head stopped you. Against all your instincts you broke his gaze. He pulled away from you, taking his hand off your leg. Pietro tried to hide it, but you could see the rejection and hurt in his eyes.
You were an idiot. A complete and utter idiot.
Pietro stood up, forcing a smile. You looked at each other awkwardly for a moment until he broke the silence by making a joke. Something you usually did.
“Sweet dreams, queen of the pigs.”
You threw one of the pillows at him, cursing. He ran for the door pretending to be offended.
“Rethink that one, Pietro.“
“No, that is the correct term.” He teased and you launched another pillow at him.
“You know if you change your mind, or get scared…” he motioned to the various severed heads, cobwebs and pumpkins decorating the room. You pulled the duvet over yourself and gave him a warm smile.
He slowly walked to the door, pausing before turning back to you. His expression softened a little and he looked at you with such adoration it took your breath away.