The night starts with a big, spicy Philly cheese steak. It’s about 6pm. I’ve been wanting to try the cheese steak from this corny, 50’s retro place for a long time. I gobble down the big greasy bowl of meat, hot sauce, and cheese, then head to the coffee shop for my weekly draw group. A little after I get home, about 10pm, a stomach ache comes on. “Damn, guess spicy foods are out.” I’ve been getting stomach aches every time I have spicy Thai or hot wings. I google search about spice pain- possible stomach ulcer? “I guess I have been stressed lately, but no more than usual I don’t think…” File under “Will investigate further later.“ According to the comments on this health website, a glass of milk will help. Gulp one down, go to bed.
Wrestle to sleep for about an hour. Realize the ache is just over the required pain threshold to keep you from sleeping. Do some work on my comic, more tired, but stomach worse. Will play batman until I fall asleep. I feel like I’m just running in circles… How many times have I failed this mission? Batman, batman, stomach now hurts too bad to enjoy an active task like video games. Deliriously tired. Would be great to sleep through the rest of this abdominal temper tantrum. Try the old “hot shower will make you sleep” trick. Take some Pepto-Bismol, and some generic acetaminophen. Out of the shower, hurts to walk around now, and to lie down. Guess I’ll have to wait it out with my eyes open. Call and leave my Doc a message, maybe will get a spot in there tomorrow. Need to get that ulcer discovered… Time to enjoy a passive task like watching TV. Breaking Bad feels like the right mixture of funny and painful, just like me and my burning spice belly. Damn, I can’t even enjoy that part where during Hank’s interrogation of that meth head, Wendy, she accuses Hank of trying to buy sexual services from her on behalf of an underage “football player” (a misunderstanding involving Walter Jr. from a few episodes before). Oh hell. Time to look up what time emergency medical clinics open. Guess I’ll have to pay out of pocket since I can’t wait for my Doc tomorrow. It’s about 4am now. Earliest clinic opens at 8. Now hungry again, but can’t eat what with all the pain. One hour down. Man, this is really starting to hurt. Can I really wait 3 more hours? Sitting is starting to hurt as much as lying and standing. And I’m still not enjoying TV. Okay, I’ve come to a decision….
“Hey, Kayla, my stomach still hurts, I’m thinking about driving to the ER, do you wanna come?” “Oh! Ya, sure. What time is it?” “It’s 5:30”. I call the hospital “Hey, I’ve had a pretty bad stomach ache all night, I’m thinking of coming by.” Operator: *long pause* “Haha, well, okay! We’re open all night, so just come on in.”
Driving with a stomach ache is not so bad, because you’re already hunched over. Wish Kayla could drive, but she doesn’t really know how, probably would have a panic attack and would definitely crash. Interesting that they have ER parking, I wonder how many ER patients drive themselves here… All bodily positions hurt my insides now, signing in to this place sucks. Give Kayla half the paperwork to fill out, glad she’s here, or this would be really boring. Man, they sure take a long time for someone trying to get into an empty emergency room… Signing in with a nurse, she ask me my height and I say “ ‘5’’8”, but I notice she puts down “ ‘5’’7”… They want to look at my pee, they always want to see my pee. I pee, no blood, so whatever that tells them means I’m getting an ultrasound first. Then a young nurse named Ken, a cool Asian dude with screws through both ears, squirts so much morphine into my IV that I lean back and audibly say “oh my god.” I feel it ripple like a shock wave from my arm down to the ends of my body. My belly is feeling alright now.
The ultrasound technician tells me that babies are the least common thing she uses ultrasounds for. My joke has fallen flat. Back in the room, the doctor and his manila folder tell me “Good news! No gallstones, there are kidney stones inside your kidneys, but since they are inside, you shouldn’t be feeling the pain from those.” “Wait, does that mean I have to pee those stones out at some poin–” It is not discussed again. Seeing that neither organ has the appropriate stones, Doc would “rather not expose me to more radiation than necessary” and is working on discharging me. But, “I won’t leave here without a diagnosis.”
In I go to the CT scan tube. That hot squish of contrast dye spreading through my veins. “Okay, we’re moving you into a room upstairs.” Says a hippy technician. Upstairs in my sweet and swanky single with couch, a person I’m pretty sure is just a businessman disguised in medical scrubs types on a computer. He takes down my answers to what seem like pre-surgery questions. “Do you have anybody specific on file in the event you are medically unable to yield consent for yourself?” This, combined fact that they won’t feed me, makes me wonder what it is I’m going into surgery for. I saw this same thing about a year and a half ago with the whole brain debacle, but that’s a story for another time. Several medical people dip in, sprinkle breadcrumbs of information; it’s like a game show challenge that combines a scavenger hunt with a jigsaw puzzle. You have to gather the pieces of information from their hiding places, then assemble them in the correct order to reveal an answer. A tech comes in and spoils the game, “You seem to have a lot of questions, so I just want to make sure, you know you have appendicitis right? We’re about to take it out.” “Thank god,” I think. “It’s not the spicy foods. Spicy foods are still in.” Downstairs, in pre-op, I complain to my plain-clothes surgeon about how analog tests like pressing on my stomach are remarkably inaccurate, since a doctor’s subjective interpretation of my poor description of say, “the pain is slightly higher” can rule out appendicitis, the same appendicitis that a machine might spot an hour later. I tell him that I almost got sent home. My surgeon tells me he’s been doing analogue tests for 30 years, and not to worry about it. I start to tell him how “my deadpan reaction to pain also causes a lot of people to misdiagnose me, that a lot of people laugh when I describe how I’m in pai–”, but he walks away in the middle to get dressed for surgery. The operating room has big TVs and lights, it looks like a set, and I consider the possibility of fake hospitals as the anesthesia takes the wheel.
In the recovery area, the nurse tells me how big, inflamed appendixes can be agitated by spicy foods, foods high in fat, and dense foods like heavy cheese. I see an image of a spotlit cheese steak appear in a black void. Nurse feeds me ice chips and tells me she craves ice chips when she’s dehydrated. I suggest that she only craves ice chips because she works in a hospital, that ice chips are too unsatisfying a thing to crave at random, and that most people would just crave water. She agrees. Back upstairs in my room, it is now 8pm, and it has been 26 hours since I’ve eaten. I’ve been hydrated only through IV’s. The driest mouth and the clearest pee. Because the lingering anesthetic can cause nausea and vomiting, they will only give me jello. I go nuts on the jello. They continue to give me every jello I ask for, one at a time, like a test. Way past where I though the cutoff point would be, the nurse tells me “That’s it! There’s no more jello! You ate all the jello on this floor.” You’re damn right I did, you’re damn right….
Summary- The reader is a teen actress on the show, she’s hanging out in the makeup trailer with Misha when he alerts her of some weird tweets.
Characters- Jared x platonic!reader, Jensen x platonic!reader, misha x platonic!reader.
Warnings- mild language, mentions of family problems.
A/N- I’VE FINALLY UPLOADED A FIC! it’s been a while but I’ve been busy revising for my exams so that’s a good reason;) anyways, I hope you enjoy this! It was really fun to write and made me chuckle.
You were lounging in one of the makeup chairs, Misha was sat on your left getting his hair done whilst you were stuffing your face with gummy bears.
You had been on the show for almost two years, you were introduced as Sam’s daughter halfway through season eleven, you had just turned fourteen when you started filming and being so young meant the cast -past and present- were extremely protective over you and that’s something that never changed, and honestly you were grateful! You never really had the greatest relationship with your parents so it was nice to have a group of people who cared about you the way your parents didn’t
Jared took the roll of your father in real life as well, you just had that instant connection when you met, you both had similar interests and similar characteristics, you even looked alike: hazel eyes that seem to change colour, dimples, same length hair. He acted more like a father than your biological dad, lets just say you don’t have the ideal family life, you’d much rather go to Texas with Jared and Jensen than go home (which most of the time you do), whenever you visited you’d always help Gen and Danneel with the kids, they were grateful and loved having you around.
The cast knew how much your parents would nag at you, they knew how down you’d get about the things they’d say, today was one of those days. You had argued with both of your parents, quite heavily, Jared walked into your trailer when he heard you almost shouting. He comforted you and listened whilst your ranted and cried about the argument, he held you whilst you sobbed, he hated seeing you so upset, it tore him apart, to him you were his daughter, he couldn’t handle seeing his daughter so torn up.
Your head snapped up towards Misha who started laughing, a lot, “what’re you laughing at?” You asked, he turned his phone towards you, reaching out you took it from his grip “maybe you should go and find your phone” he laughed. Furrowing your eyebrows you scrolled through your twitter, your eyes widened at some of the tweets before your narrowed them and let out an audible groan “damn it, Jared” you grumbled, you quickly replied back to one of the tweets before handing the phone back to Misha and jumping down from the chair, “good luck!” Misha called as you stepped out of the trailer, “i’m gonna need it” you mumbled making him laugh again.
You stepped into the motel set that you would be using for that day, the crew were getting ready to film, you saw Jared and Jensen leaning against one of the tables, Jared was still typing away on your phone, stepping forward you gained their attention, “give me my phone, Jared” you demanded holding your hand out, “give me five minutes” he replied turning his head back towards your phone, rolling your eyes you crossed your arms, “no, Jared give it back” you said, he sighed and passed it towards you, however when your reached out to grab it his hand shot in the air, “jump for it” he chuckled, you gave him a bitch face, “I am not jumping for my phone” you answered placing your hands on your hips.
You saw that his phone was on the table behind him, quickly, you leapt forward and grabbed it before holding it behind your back. He chuckled, “you don’t know my password, i’m not bothered”, you smirked and typed in his passcode before showing him the unlocked screen, “really? Your birthday? C’mon Jared, be original” you said, he went to reply but the director cut him off.
The director called for everyone to get into their places, you sat on the bed with your back against the headboard, you knew the camera’s wouldn’t be on you, it was just Jared and Jensen’s coverage. The director yelled “action!”, as the guys were doing their dialogue you started to tweet from Jared’s phone silently giggling to yourself, “Just ate some spicy ass Buffalo Wings, never again. My ass is going to hurt for weeks” you looked up and watched the scene for a bit before tweeting again. “Oh god, the smell! it’s everywhere!“ Misha who was trying to focus on the scene caught sight of you giggling, he pulled out his phone and went onto Jared’s twitter, his face immediately went red from trying to hold in the laughter, you started typing again, “SHOULD IT BURN THIS MUCH?!” you hit send, Misha looked back down towards his phone and closed his eyes and took in a deep breath as if trying to compose himself, you started typing again “I just burnt a hole through my underwear… shit… quite literally” that was the last straw for Misha, he immediately burst out laughing shortly followed by you, doubling over you were face down on the bed with tears streaming down your face, “what’re you guys laughing at?” Jared asked, “ch-check your twitter” Misha wheezed out, he furrowed his eyebrows and unlocked your phone, his eyes widened, Jensen took your phone from his hand, he started reading the numerous tweets out loud whilst simultaneously laughing, hard. Soon enough everyone in the room was howling of laughter.
You sat up, still laughing hysterically, wiping away the tears that were cascading happily down your face you took a deep breath, trying to calm down, “y/n, you little shit” Jared laughed causing you to start laughing again, grabbing his phone from your hand, he deleted the tweets and pocketed his phone. “Hey, you started it, I finished it” you giggled, “can I have my phone back now?” You asked, he shook his head before throwing it towards you, you caught it and tucked it in your pocket.
“Okay everyone, take a ten minute break to cool off, god knows we need it” the director laughed, you stood up and walked towards the boys, “where did you come up with those tweets?” Jensen asked, you shrugged your shoulders, “honestly I have no idea” you laughed, whilst Misha and Jensen were talking Jared swung an arm over your shoulders, “you feeling better?” He asked, you nodded your head, “yeah, still feel a bit bummed about earlier but better nonetheless” you smiled, he squeezed you, “good” he replied, “I’m still gonna get you back from tweeting on my phone, you know that right?” He asked, you rolled your eyes and chuckled “yeah, even though what I did was completely fair” you said, he sighed “yeah yeah, whatever you say” he said playfully.
Let me know if you wanna be added to the ‘Forever Tags’ list, just drop me an ask<3
Request: I see that your requests are open! Huzzah! Could you do a deanxreader where the reader loves spicy food and has a really high tolerance. And has the caveat that any man who wants to date her has to attempt a hot wing challenge (like the really spicy wings and you have a time limit to eat them without drink or cooking agent) the problem? Dean has very low spice tolerance, but wants to try anyway. Fluff and/or smut. I trust thy artistic vision because you’re stuff is amazeballs. :3
2 lb chicken wings, separated into drums and flats
Seasoning blend (you may or may not use all of it) - 5 tbsp of each: smoked paprika, cayenne pepper, black pepper, granulated garlic, granulated onion, Indian red pepper, hot paprika, cumin + 2 tbsp kosher salt, + 1 tbsp baking powder
Ingredients for Sauce
½ cup Honey Chipotle barbecue sauce (purchased from Williams-Sonoma)
¼ cup Peri Peri sauce
3 tbsp sweet chili
2 tsp raw honey
½ apple cider vinegar
Preheat the oven to 420 degrees Fahrenheit.
Clean and completely dry your chicken wings using paper towels.
In a large bowl, toss your chicken wings into the coating mixture and ensure that each wing is evenly coated.
Using a baking sheet (preferably with a wire rack), place the chicken wings in a single layer and cook for 20 minutes, flip and cook for an additional 15 minutes.
After the last 15 minutes, remove the wings from the oven, turn on your oven’s broiler, brush the chicken wings with the sauce and broil for 1-2 minutes until caramelized.
Repeat on the opposite side of the wings.
NOTE: using a wire rack helps with the air circulation and ensures that the entire wing gets crispy.
Remove from the oven, garnish with fresh cilantro, and serve.