spiced mayo

anonymous asked:

Here's a quick rant: I am absolutely tired of having my dietary choices mocked because of my skin color. The fact that I cannot tolerate spicy food has nothing to do with the paleness of my skin. This whole, white people can't eat spice and only eat mayo shit needs to stop. A joke or two on the internet, fine. But I'm tired of getting these comments every time I'm trying to eat in the dining hall.

Yeah and to piggy back off your rant, there are POC who also don’t like spicy food! What a surprise! It’s almost like your skin color doesn’t necessarily dictate your dietary preferences!

My girlfriend as I’ve mentioned before is Cuban, but she doesn’t like spicy food as much as I, a very white person, do. Like damn just let people like whatever they like without giving them shit about it.

Ok, so about grilled cheese

Having seen that horrible, horrible grilled cheese martini or cosmo or whatever the FUCK that is going around - I couldn’t even watch it long enough to know what it was, I was so grossed out the minute they put vodka to infuse on top of grilled cheese sandwiches - I feel it necessary to defend one of my favorite foods.

So you think you know how to make grilled cheese? Wrong. You don’t. Unless you already know how to do this particular thing in which case you can make me a grilled cheese any damn day.

You need:

  1. Bread. It doesn’t even have to be good bread. And yeah, gluten-free bread tastes fucking bangin’ for this
  2. Mayonnaise. Stop! Don’t doubt me. Don’t ask me what white nonsense it is. It is in fact white af but this isn’t nonsense. Trust me. 
  3. Sliced cheese. For this variety it is best if there is mozzerella cheese.
  4. You can choose between shaky chipotle or cajun spices or getting a chipotle mayo. Whatever works for you.
  5. Tomato soup. 

So here’s how you do:

  1. Heat your pan up only to medium, sprayed liberally with non-stick spray.. Yes, that’s a little cooler than you’d normally do for a grilled cheese - do not heat it up any higher or you’ll end up scorching your sandwich. DON’T PUT BUTTER IN THE PAN, it’ll make the bread soggy in combo with what we’re gonna do next.
  2. If you’re using spices and mayo, mix together your spices and mayo in a bowl until they’re well-mixed. You don’t want white spots.
  3. Spread a thin but consistent layer of mayo on one side of your pieces of bread. If you’re making more than one sammich, get them all prepped up on a plate.
  4. Put your bread down, put 2 slices of mozz on the bread, top with the other slice of bread. The mayo goes on the OUTSIDE. Yeah, instead of buttering the bread for our grilled cheese, we’re using mayo.
  5. If you wanna get really fancy, shake parmesan cheese on top of that mayo before you put the mayo side down. 
  6. Grill. That. Cheese. Turn it sooner than you think you need to turn it - the mayo means it all crisps up faster. 
  7. Nuke yourself some delicious tomato soup while you’re waiting.
  8. Eat the crispiest, most delicious grilled cheese you’ve ever eaten, with spice on the outside and sweet mozz cheese on the inside. Dip that into the soup. Revel in the spices and cheese and tomato together. Think about the flavor combos you can do, like cheddar/horseradish sauce or provolone/curry powder (yes, I’ve tried it, yes, it’s fucking bangin’).
  9. Be asked to make everyone grilled cheese whenever they’re hungry until the end of time.

Squeaks made pasta salad with me last week & she did almost everything. I let her fill the pot with water for the pasta. Then she added the dill paste & a touch of light mayo & spices. Then, she begged to cut the snap peas. Of course, I was vary wary, but I stayed by her side.

The whole time, she kept saying, “Daddy will be so so proud of me. I’m holding the knife just right!” He’s been demonstrating & explaining for months & I finally let her try it. Yes, I have more gray hairs than I did before, but she was so proud of herself. Totally worth it.