I want to see a sci-fi movie...
Where Rinko Kikuchi
is the adopted daughter of the Galactic Space General Sigourney Weaver,
who leads humanity against an endless
horde of giant aliens designed by
Guillermo del Toro
and the Pan’s Labyrinth crew
who are all motion-captured and voiced by Andy Serkis
and take orders from the cosmic space conqueror Tim Curry.
After a terrible battle, Kikuchi gets taken in two wise old mentors played by Terry Crews
and Isaiah Mustafa
going full Old Spice
with the intention of teaching her how to pull off all that crazy shit they do in those adverts.
and eventually finds a rival in the evil space empire’s greatest warrior Gwendoline Christie
but manages to defeat her and Curry’s superweapon with the help of a giant super robot
with an AI voiced by Aisha Tyler.
The third act twist is that Curry was just the henchman of the *true* dark lord of the universe: Ken Watanabe
who is also Rinko’s father
and pilots a giant samurai mech
and is basically the Anti-Spiral but for Old Spice
and Rinko and her robot must defeat him by using bunch of crazy Old
and also the Aisha robot gets a horse because of course she does
and she finishes the fight by punching the baddie into the sun
before going on to be crowned Galactic Space Empress and building up a super team of badass Old Spice Power-users to defend the universe, kinda like the Justice League but with giant robots and physics-defying madness.
If anyone wants to buy this pitch, you know how to reach me.