⟨  r e f l e c t i v i t y .

“this is.. so weird.”

he remarks softly, settling down onto the couch beside yixing.

the survival show was clearly a hot topic amongst trainees and a buzz within the media so it’s no surprise that fellow trainees of opposite companies (or the same) would watch this. hell, people jonghyun called friends were on this show.

it’s nice to have his friend around his place. jonghyun doesn’t have many male friends— or many he can emotionally bond with— so this is.. cathartic. especially when you’re watching a group of friends (and associates) on television.

“i mean— i’m happy for them, don’t get me wrong.” clearly he thought he was coming off a little rude or jealous, but that wasn’t the case. it’s more-so the switch between other companies at a chance to debut at royal. “but it’s.. loyalty? why would you leave a company knowing that there is a legal and emotional trust among the head? i mean, imagine telling baek jiyong that.” he pulls a face at the idea.

jonghyun understands on one hand. the idea of being ‘ignored’ in a company you feel the need to /stand out/ and say something. anything, really. but you can’t. so you rely on actions. on the other hand, he finds that.. petulant. nobody said this path was being easy, yet here he is, watching people give up that loyalty.

“ah, sorry i don’t.. have many drinks. i don’t really drink alcohol and i’ve been living off juice, milk and water.” the elder musters up an apologetic smile while gesturing to the bottle of water.

heart to heart

it’s fair to say that they’re both a little bit of a mess.

a little? a lot.

sometimes just pretending you’re okay get’s too tiring and hits a point where you just want to wallow in self pity and sadness. it’s okay, he thinks, especially because he has someone to do it with. even though hyun was always a chipper ‘happy go lucky’ sort of guy, it’s a nice to see him open up and talk about the week they had.

a tired sigh leaves him once he opens up the door for the both of them, the trio of pups coming to the front door and greeting the stranger. “alright, alright! hyun is sleeping over but that does not mean he’s your new father.” almost scolding  them like he’s children, the male turns back to grin at his friend. “and no, you can’t steal any of them, got it?”

it’s not long until he finds himself in the kitchen, finding some iced coffee — also drinking led to two tattoos so that’s not going to happen for a long time. “it’s caffeine free so just.. don’t worry about sleeping.” even though i can’t. the bitter thought is tucked away into his mind and he peaks around to watch hyun making himself at home. good. he’s such a hard worker, he deserves to have some form of innate comfort.  

“i think the girls are having a sleep over at luna and jinri’s place. we live only minutes apart and sometimes i drive all of us to work.” jonghyun places the iced drink onto the table before draping his body across the ledge, extending his hands out for roo. instead, the dachshund had other ideas and toddled up to the younger male and clambered her tiny paws up his leg. a fake sniff. “i see how it is. i’m left behind my by not-so-favourite-but-really-favourite-dongsaeng and my dog? i see it.”

in his feigned drama, he burrows his face into the couch for a few moments. “hey.” he asks quietly, peaking his eyes up from the pillow so he could look at the younger. “do you think.. your.. response went well? to heungsoo?”



                                                  [  1:12 - 2:12.

nerves twist and turn in his stomach, almost as if his insides were attempting to do the choreography his feet so tirelessly attempted.

his hand slides to push back his newly dyed black locks but a harsh smack from the stylist reminds him to push it forward again and he offers an apologetic smile towards her. oops. it’s better than gnawing on his nails, he thinks. at least that anxious tick hadn’t returned.. for now.

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