Horoscopes by Gil Hizon - Week of September 26 - October 3, 2016

So like, every time the waiter approaches me to ask if I like the food, my mouth is always full. #thumbsup

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

Get ready for a disaster of a week, as you try your very best to juggle your professional crap with your personal clusterfucks. The only way for you to keep everything intact and regain your sanity is to move to another island where no one fucking knows yo ass. And if you do end up leaving, please make sure you bring that SPF or as I like to call it, Shitshow Preventative Forcefield.


SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)

Something’s changed in your immediate gayborhood. Oh, that’s right. Every gay and ladyboy is tethered to their homes checking out the new Fall TV Lineup. If I were you, I would take advantage of that shit. This really is the perfect time to catch up with your usual SCORPY shenanigans, including, but not limited to, planting your devious garden gnomes in your lawn and getting ready for SCORPIO Christmas. #halloween


SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)

Gurl, when you fly high, you fall on yo ass hard. Here’s a tip: butt implants! But seriously, it would behoove you to stay grounded and not stray too far from the gayborhood. Shit is bubbling up at a bathhouse near you; and when it hits the fan, all your gay constituents will be needing you to bail their asses out big time. The more bitches you save, the more head you’ll get.


CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)

What the powers that be are saying is true. Another bitch’s mop could be your latest Shake ‘N Bake Beyonce weave. So the next time you’re shopping at Wet Seal, you betta keep them eyes opened wide and your fingers extra sticky. You just nevah EVAH know what you’re gonna fish out of that discount rack. Now put on your shopping snorkel and dive deep, diva. 


AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)

Let the records show what a badass bitch you iz! No really, someone’s been keeping track. Unfortunately, henny, you don’t have a stalker. All you’ve got are bitches who believe in your efforts and accomplishments. You needn’t worry about evah disappointing them either. Although you tend to operate all brain, your heart is as clear as purified water.


PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

When all your gay constituents are at each others’ throats, you will be the sound of reason that will silence that din, thanks to that megaphone you stole from an unsuspecting unicorn, deep in the Sha-nae-nae forest of your dreams. But remember, with great glamazonian accessories, come great responsibility. With the power bestowed upon you by the queen of cosmic fuckery, we trust that you will rule us fairly and justly.


ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

Let’s face it. You’re usually a pump and dump kind of queen, but this week, you’re ready to take your sweet ass time with your new trick. Something about this ho just makes you want to savor each moment you spend with hurr. And if you don’t have any prior engagements, I say go for it. You’ve worked so hard. You deserve some crunchy peanut brittle.


TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

Oh, TORI TORIFICUS MASTERS. You’re a true jetsetter, ready to fly off to foreign destinations at a moment’s notice. Your endless array of Fendi luggage turns heads as your strut that ass on that moving walkway at the airport like you’re in the running to be America’s Next Top Model In The Skies. But here’s a twist. You forgot your fucking lipliner and your custom-made anal beads. What are you gonna do now?


GEMINI (May 21 – June 21)

To every bitch and ho sitting within your vicini-tay, you have one thing to say: Gurlbye. Yes, queen. You have officially left reality and you’re currently having mai-tais with a Care Bear. But need we remind you, your time on Earth is not done. For one thing, you still haven’t shown us your tax returns. All I’m saying is, make sure you’re not leaving anything behind that could potentially bite you in the ass while you’re macking on a fucking merman.


CANCER (June 22 – July 22)

Nothing says, “We love you so much that we have no qualms dumping our shit on you” like family. And it’s a huge clusterfuck to sort through, Ms. Crabby, Queen of Crustaceans. Luckily for you, an extra pair of claws from an unexpected source – some bitch from your past – has been assigned to help yo ass. Rest assured, a more harmonious time with the fam is in your near future.


LEO (July 23 – August 22)

I don’t know where you come up with all these promises you give to unsuspecting queens, but gurl, you gotta research your proclamations before spitting all that shit out. Because of you, a bitch may be in trouble. If that’s the case, you bettah fess up quickly regarding your unintentioned mess. The more you own up to your mistakes, the more respect you will Jennifer Garner.


VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

Ding-dong, the witch is dead! Now that you’re free to roam around this week’s version of paradise, I suggest you gobble all that happy juice as quickly and as efficiently as you can. Because come next week, bigger shitshows await on the horizon. But gurl, I know you. If you can put a pompous, arrogant bitch in her place, then you can do anything.


(DISCLAIMER for all entries: This is all a shitshow!)

For more Horoscopes By Gil Hizon, click here, gurl!

Inés’ Paula’s Choice Recommendations by Skin Type (part 1)

If you’d like $10 off your order, use this link! https://goo.gl/qKScvg

I get asked a loooooot about my skincare recommendations, so I’m going to post all my Paula’s Choice faves by skin type. I love her products because the prices are great and they contain no irritants, plus you won’t find ridiculous gimmicks or outlandish claims. For more recs, check out my cosmetics tag.

For anyone fighting dark spots, hyperpigmentation, discoloration, acne-scarring:

C15 Super Booster

Add a few drops of this genius skin saver to your serum or moisturizer every night. You ALL need this product - and the 0.12oz trial size is on sale for $9. When you’re treating hyperpigmentation, you can’t mess around - you need to use sunscreen everyday. The Resist Youth-Extending Daily Fluid SPF 50 is perfect for oily, breakout-prone skin that still needs hydration. For people with drier skin, try the Resist Cellular Defense Daily Moisturizer with SPF 25 & Antioxidants. Both are $32. Even with sun protection products that claim to be waterproof, reapplication is key

For additional dark spot treatment, there are three options I recommend, depending on how intense your hyperpigmentation is: Resist 25% Vitamin C Spot Treatment ($55) for severe dark spots, Resist Triple-Action Dark Spot Eraser 7% AHA Lotion ($25) for moderate dark spots with combo skin, and Resist Triple-Action Dark Spot Eraser 2% BHA Gel ($25) for oily skin with mild discoloration.

To cleanse, I like the Hydralight One Step Face Cleanser ($17-$25) for people who prefer gel (it doesn’t foam, which is crucial imo); it’s an inexpensive and simple formula for any skin type. For people who don’t mind a richer cleanser I love the Skin Recovery Softening Cream Cleanser ($20), especially for anyone suffering from rosacea/eczema/etc.

For targeted acne treatment:

Start with one of Paula’s two-week trial kits. Allow them to do their thing before integrating more products into your routine. For regular breakouts, the regular strength kit is a good start, while extra strength is ideal for those suffering from severe cystic acne. If you’re unsure, go for the regular. Both are currently only $13!

Resist BHA 9 ($42) is a no-brainer spot treatment for stubborn zits and blackheads. Once you gauge the efficacy of the trial kits, this is a smart add-on.


Dear Sun: Suck My Cumulus.
#iDislikeYou, #NastiStar
#Perhaps #IfYouDidRub #SPFs
#OnYourCircleBodi #YouWouldBe
#LessLames. #StopReddingMe,
#YouSphere #OfDouche.

Full Musik Video Link in Bio!
Many Dankes to @MirandaSingsOfficial & @ColleenB123!

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How to Care For Your Lips

If you’ve been following Makeup Tips Blog for a while now you’d probably know that I’m a severe sufferer of dry lips and lip care is something I’m extremely passionate about.

DO: Remove Your Lip Colour

Whether you’ve worn a gloss that lasts five minutes or a lipstick that has lasted all day, chances are you will still have a little residue of something left on your lips. This is why it’s especially important to give your lips a quick clean at the end of the day. When removing lipstick I like to use a nice oil and cotton pad as to prevent drying out the lips.

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Wearing SPF on a regular basis can save your life.

FACT - Sun exposure is the #1 cause of skin cancer, and wearing sunscreen (or any product with SPF regularly) can cut the chances of you getting skin cancer in half.  There are MANY types of skin cancer, and not all of them are obvious.  Check your body often for any odd looking spots or discoloration on your skin, and notify your doctor ASAP if you find any.  Sun damage is also the #1 cause of premature aging - wearing a moisturizer with SPF can help keep your skin soft and supple for longer!

You only need to wear sunscreen when you’re going to the beach.

FICTION - There’s a reason cosmetics companies are putting SPF in everything nowadays.  UV rays can penetrate your skin EVERY day… in the winter, when it’s cloudy, when you’re walking to your car, while you’re sitting next to a window… so it’s smart to protect your skin no matter what it is you’re doing.  

One ounce of sunblock is the correct amount for your entire body.

FACT - An entire ounce of traditional cream sunscreen is the recommended amount for covering the average person’s body to achieve the amount of Sun Protection indicated by the SPF on the bottle.  That’s a LOT more than you’d think (most foundation bottles contain only 1 ounce of product)… in fact, it’s kind of impossible to glob on a layer that thick.  But, the less sunscreen you use, the less effective and more spotty your sun protection will be. Avoid the headache by simply layering your SPF… smooth a thin layer all over your skin, allow it to dry, and then apply a second layer.  This will help the SPF absorb fully, so you get all the protection without all of the grease!  Bonus Fact:  It takes a full tablespoon to cover just your face properly!

Waterproof sunscreen isn’t actually waterproof.

FACT - Although “waterproof” sunscreens will hold up better on the beach than non-waterproof versions, you will still have to reapply your sunscreen every time you get out of the water.

The SPF you apply in the morning is good enough to last you all day.

FICTION - Read the back of any product that contains SPF, and it will tell you that you must reapply every 2 hours in order to maintain adequate sun protection!  That seems like a lot of reapplying, I know, but if you’re going to be out in the sun, reapplying is very important!  Pick a lightweight sunscreen or makeup product with SPF so that layering isn’t a difficult task throughout the day.

SPF 15 gives maximum sun protection.

FICTION - SPF 15 protects against 93%* of UV rays.  SPF 30 (it seems like it would be double the protection, right?   Nope) protects about 97%* of UV rays, and SPF 50 gives 98%* protection.  With anything above SPF 50, the difference is minimal.

*  - Statistics from the Skin Cancer Foundation website

You can layer SPFs to create a higher level of SPF.

FICTION - Putting on an SPF 15 over an SPF 30 isn’t going to give you SPF 45, you will only get the coverage of the highest SPF (in this example, 30.)  However, layering SPF is going to give you a higher concentration of your SPF, protecting you more thoroughly.

SPF causes breakouts.

FICTION - It’s not the sun protection that’s clogging your pores.  If you’re experiencing breakouts after using sunscreen, chances are you’re just using a product that’s not right for your skin type!  Just like with moisturizers, SPF products aren’t “one-size-fits-all”.  If you feel that your sunscreen IS causing you to break out, switch to an oil-free version that’s more lightweight, and/or intended for your face.  These are a thinner texture, are non comedogenic, and allow your skin to breathe!

SPF can make your face look white in pictures.

FACT - Foundations and powders with SPF in them can cause white flashback in flash photography.  The iron oxides in sunscreen (which are what helps to prevent sun damage) have a reflective quality.  For special events, pick a matte foundation without SPF, or use bronzer to counteract the ghostly effect.  You will still be able to use an SPF underneath your makeup without having to worry!

People with dark skin don’t need to wear sunscreen.

FICTION - Dark skin tones are still affected by the sun’s damaging UV rays. Darker skin can still develop skin cancer (in fact, certain types of skin cancer are ONLY found on people of color), and UV rays will age dark skin just as much as light skin.  It’s important to protect yourself!  If you’re worried about white, creamy sunscreens turning your skin ashy looking, pick instead an oil sunscreen - they’re just as effective, but are colorless and absorb quickly into the skin.


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