spencer reid gubler

Words Written on Your Wrist | Part 3 | Soulmates! Spencer Reid x Reader

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Soulmates! Spencer Reid x reader

Requested: Nope, I just figured I’d jump on the soulmate band wagon

Requests: OPEN

Part 3/?

        Part 1 Part 2

Words: 2982

Warnings: none

Summary: Everyone’s wrist has three words on it, the first three words you’ll hear your soulmate say. You think the idea of soulmates is just a bunch of junk, but you’re in for a rude awakening when you meet your soulmate at your new job at the BAU. Because you worry you will lose your new dream job, you keep the fact that he’s your soulmate hidden, pretending as if those three words didn’t exist.

A/N: I may have shed a few tears writing this. I don’t know how many chapters I am going to do after this, but for sure there will be a 4th part. Thank you all for your kind words! Feedback is greatly appreciated!! I hope you all like this!!!

As the words left Spencer’s mouth you knew you had a split second to decide whether to act shocked and hide the fact that you knew, furthering the lie, or to resign to the fact that he was your soulmate. Luckily you were in the van with Rossi and Derek, so you didn’t have to face the astonished or judgmental eyes of the entire team.

             Morgan’s eyes widened before turning to look at you and you heard two gasps over the com, you assumed one belonged to Prentiss and the other belonged to Garcia. You set your jaw and pinched the bridge of your nose, squeezing your eyes tight. Barely a day on your first case and everything is already going to hell in a handbasket. You’re sure to to be kicked off or lose all of their trust, only to be treated like a pariah. You think you’d rather be kicked off.

             “Focus.” You heard Hotch growl into your ear piece and you reminded yourself that if you managed to get out of this with good graces to do whatever it takes to never hear him speak like that to you again.

             “Welcome!” You heard over the line again as Spencer and JJ were welcomed into the support group’s meeting. “We will begin the night as we always do, with an affirmation that everyone here is valid in their identity of being a Glitch. There is nothing wrong with it and by no means does it decide our future as successful human beings and no way does it restrict us from finding out own love.” The organizer spoke in a soft and comforting tone. At the last part, you thought you heard a very quiet, mocking, exhale.

             “Someone just scoffed, try and see who that was.” Emily said quickly, hearing it as well.

             “Now we are going to open the floor for whoever that wants to share.” The organizer said after a moment. Someone began talking about how he met his soulmate by a friend of a friend, but that once they were introduced it was apparent that he wasn’t her soulmate. He had kept it from her and they were now good friends, her having no idea what she was to him. The man went on and on about how tortured he felt every time he was with her, that he knew that she was perfect for him but it would never be reciprocated. Your felt a pang of guilt in your stomach, wondering if that’s how Spencer was feeling.

             A few more people went before the head of the group spoke up again. “Maybe one of our new comers can share their experiences?”

             “I ca–“ You heard JJ start but be interrupted by Reid.

             “I will.” He said firmly and he surprised himself with how his voice didn’t waver. This wasn’t about Y/N, he told himself, this was about finding the killer. He’d make something up and then say that him and JJ were seeing each other to try and get a rise out of the man who had scoffed earlier. As he walked up to the podium his legs felt like jelly and his heart rammed against his ribcage. Spencer took a deep breath before he started. “I met her a while ago,” He lied easily to the crowd.

             Meanwhile, in the van, you tried your best to not hyperventilate, your chest feeling tight and your head feeling far too light. You wondered what he was going to say. Was he going to make something up? Was he going to talk about you? You had just met him, that wasn’t a while ago, maybe that meant he was going to continue with a charade for the entire meeting.

             “She was new to the department where JJ and I work at,” Spencer gestured to the blonde woman he came in with, and your stomach dropped. “We work at a psychology practice together and I knew she was my soulmate when she was being introduced to us by our boss.” You knew they couldn’t go in there and say their real occupation, but that seemed to be the only thing that he was changing. You ignored the stares you were receiving from Derek. “She was about to say something when another one of our coworkers interrupted and asked her if she could help her with anything or get her coffee, and then asked her if she liked coffee, meanwhile this coworker was too excited to let her speak between this questions. The first thing she replied to was the last question and that’s what was on my wrist,” Spencer’s voice sounded strained, stuttering every once and a while. “I- I knew then. I didn’t know if she had heard me speak yet, but based on how she was acting, I didn’t think so. You see uh, since we’re psychologists we’re really good at noticing how people react, so after carefully formulating what I was going to say to her, of course I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind after she shared about a friend’s death was that I was sorry for her loss. I carefully watched the way she reacted. The words held no deep significance to her. And based on that and how she’s continued to act around me, I concluded I am a Glitch. Since then I decided I was going to take fate into my own hands.”

Damn, was this ironic. That’s exactly what you were doing, taking your own fate and deciding what you wanted, which was to be your own person. Meanwhile these women were being murdered for taking their lives into their own hands and choosing to be someone’s partner. The universe had a sick way of making thing play out, you thought before you turned your attention back to Spencer’s speech.

“JJ and I have been dating for a few months now, and I’m happy, even though I know I have to see my soulmate every day.” You noted his voice inflections changed. That strain was there and gone between the truth and the lies, and it was definitely there for that last half of the sentence. You were hurting him. You were going to make him go through his every day with the thought that his soulmate, the person made for him, would never be more than a work colleague. The thought of it felt like a knife in your gut, but the thought of losing everything that you had worked for going down the drain felt like a thousand. Veronica’s face flashed before your eyes, your childhood best friend lost at the hands of a serial killer. You had to do this for her.

‘But does it matter?’ You reasoned in your head. ‘What if they don’t let you stay because it could affect Spencer’s work? He is far more brilliant and a bigger asset to the team than you were, you would be the first to go if it affected the work environment.’ The thoughts in your head went a thousand miles an hour, knowing you had to come to a conclusion as to what you were going to do, and quick.

Spencer then thanked the group before stepping off the podium, quickly excusing himself to the bathroom to tell the team that there was someone who appeared extraordinarily distraught when he said that him and JJ were together, saying that his name tag read James but there was no last name listed. Hotch responded to tell him to try and talk to the man afterward to get a last name and if they couldn’t, to ask around. After that Reid dismissed himself to get back to the support group. You absentmindedly scratched at your wrist, and glancing down you saw the edge of the script, and your breath hitched in your throat when you realized it was now turning grey, not the normal inky black it had always been. It was fading. You didn’t even know that that could happen. Marks normally only faded after your soulmate had died.

The rest of the meeting went quickly, either that or you were in a daze, staring at the little bit of writing that peeked out from under your sleeve and bracelet. JJ had gotten a name for the suspect, and Garcia did a quick search to find that a one James Quinn’s best friend, and presumably soulmate, died from cancer the previous month.

“That’s the stressor.” Rossi said definitively, “Get him.”

“I think this is the fastest we have ever closed a case.” Prentiss said with a laugh as they hauled the man into the back of a squad car.

“Thank god Y/L/N figured out what the victims had in common so fast.” Morgan clapped you on the back and you had to plant your feet to make sure you didn’t go flying forward from the force.

             You noticed Reid’s sleeved were rolled up, and there, neatly on the inside of his right wrist, was your elegant handwriting. In a fading grey. You cursed to yourself, not knowing what to do. Soon Hotch caught your eye and he nodded in a way obviously saying ‘we need to talk.’ When you got back to the station, he asked to speak to you.

             “You and Reid need to talk.” His tone left no room for argument. “I need to know both of you can stay on the team. You are both assets I intend on keeping but we have to be sure the emotional strain doesn’t effect anyone’s work.”

             You opened your mouth to speak but before you could there was a knock on the door of the conference room you were currently occupying. Rossi entered moments after. “I assume you are talking about what just happened and the implications?” He asked and you and Hotch both nodded. “Are you still set on not telling him?”

             “Telling him what?” Hotch frowned, glancing between the two of you. Your eyes widened, you figured if Rossi knew that meant Hotch would as well.

             “That they’re soulmates,” Rossi said, frowning as well, also figuring Hotch knew as well.


             This time you spoke up, pinching the bridge of your nose again. “We’re soulmates. But I don’t want a soulmate. I didn’t tell him that we are and that its reciprocated.”

             “So, he only thinks he’s a Glitch?” Your boss asked, still confused, and you nod. “You really need to talk to him.”

             You only nod again, letting out a sigh of resignation. You figured that once your boss knew you were keeping such a large secret from another teammate it wouldn’t go well.

             “I’ll send him in.” Rossi said as him and Hotch walked out of the conference room. You assumed that meant that no matter what, if you and Reid couldn’t handle working alongside each other.

             Pacing around the room you cursed aloud, debating as to how to go about telling Spencer that he was your soulmate as well. Soon the door opened and he stepped in the room.

             “Listen, Y/N I’m sorry about saying that in the meeting, I wanted to make it seem believable and-“ You didn’t let him get any farther.

             “Did you know.” You stated, hands clasped together tightly.

             He shook his head, frowning in bewilderment. “Did I know what?”

             “Did you know.” You rolled up your sleeve and unclasped the bracelet, tossing it on the table. “Did you know that if you were to add up the costs of all of the items listed in the 12 Days of Christmas it would be around $1.3 million.” Your voice was solemn, resigned. You watched as realization washed over his face and his jaw slightly dropped.

             “I’m your soulmate. And, and you knew?” His voice was quiet, and when his voice cracked in the second sentence you swore something in your chest did too.

             “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want a soulmate. I don’t want a soulmate. I don’t want my identity tied to someone, I’m my own person, not someone’s other half.”

             Spencer took a deep breath, trying to clear his thoughts. This was not how he imagined this would go. He imagined that his soulmate would be ecstatic to meet him, like something out of a fairy tale. Just his luck, he thought bitterly, he would wait all this time to find her, first think he was a Glitch, and then she wouldn’t even want him. Thinking over what he had to say, he played with his fingers for a while before lightly touching the tattoo on his wrist that was getting darker by the second, returning to the ink black it once was. “But the thing is, Y/N, I don’t think we’re two halves of a whole. I don’t expect us to be two halves of a whole. I think that we’re two separate people that just happen to work together perfectly. That’s what life it though, individuals coming together to form something that is bigger than ones’ self. That’s why you joined a team, wasn’t it, to be a part of something bigger? It’s the same concept with soulmates, in my opinion. We obviously aren’t codependent on one another, we’re already doing very well without each other. Imagine how it would be with us together, as soulmates, as a team.” His eyes glistened as tears threatened to fall and you looked away. Here it comes. You didn’t know how to say it, the true reason you didn’t want to be someone’s soulmate.

             “Did you know ants can carry over 20 times their body weight?” You ask, looking up and away as your own eyes filled with tears.

             “Wha- What does that have to do with anything?” He was obviously getting annoyed but knew that there was going to be a reason for what you had said so he resisted snapping.

             “That’s what by best friend said to me on the playground when I was 8. I was crouching down watching an ant hill when Veronica walked up next to me and told me that. I said ‘I did not’, and her face lit up as she shoved her wrist in my face. We were inseparable after that. We thought we were soulmates. We did everything together. That was, up until she was murdered when we were 16.” You paused, trying to control a sob that was building in your chest. “But when the words on my wrist didn’t fade, I knew that something was wrong. Either I had two soulmates or she wasn’t mine and she was a Glitch. But after I watched her casket get lowered into the ground I vowed two things. One, I would help stop the kind of people that did this so no one else would have to feel this way, and two, if I ever found someone else, I wouldn’t let them know that they were my soulmate, I couldn’t do that to her. So, when I thought that us being soulmates could ruin my chances at keeping this job, I panicked, my two vows threatening to be broken in one fowl swoop.” You managed out before the sob that had been building tore its way from your chest and shook your shoulders.

             Spencer stared at you in shock as you talked, watched as you fidgeted and avoided eye contact, as you wrung your hands and bit your lip when you paused. He found himself crossing the floor and closing the distance between you, quietly asking if he could touch you, and when you nodded, he enveloped you in his arms. “I’m so sorry.” You said quietly after you had calmed down.

             “It’s okay, I understand. I forgive you.” He whispered.

             “Can we start over?” You ask, wiping your eyes and looking up at him, you had pulled away slightly to see his face but his arms still rested on your waist.

             A grin spread across his cheeks as he nodded, “Did you know that if you were to add up the costs of all of the items listed in the 12 Days of Christmas it would be around $1.3 million? What is your favorite morning beverage?”

             “I love coffee.” You laughed tearily.

             The two of you stood there for a while, just staring at each other, as if not wanting the moment to end. Spencer’s eyes danced between yours and your lips, “Can I kiss you?” He asked softly, putting a hand on your cheek. You don’t respond, only standing on your tip toes and close the distance between your lips, kissing him softly.

             Spencer grabbed your bracelet off the table without you noticing before you two walked out of the conference room. And when you did, all eyes were on you. You froze, feeling very aware that you were under a microscope, and nervous since these people knew Spencer very well.

             “So?” Morgan asked after a moment, eyebrow raised.

             Spencer grabbed your hand and smiled, “We’re soulmates.”

             “Why did you keep it a secret?” JJ asked you, trying to hide the harshness in her voice, and you didn’t blame her for being upset.

             You glanced up at Spencer before telling the team the same thing you told him, about losing your best friend and who you believed to be your soulmate and how it had affected you. As you talked their gazes soften in understanding.

             “I trust you can work together on the same team?” Hotch asked after a moment to which you and Spencer affirmed.

             “Great.” He said with a stern nod, then turning his attention to the rest of the team. “Great job today everyone, lets head back home.”

             Soon you were back on the plane and sitting next to Spencer, who had fallen asleep. You watched his sleeping form, hands intertwined. ‘Maybe a soulmate isn’t going to be that bad after all.’ You thought to yourself.

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We All Fall Down - Four

When you awoke the next morning it was to sunlight streaming through the windows. You’d neglected to close them last night and as you lay there, you could see dust particles floating in the sunbeams. The bed was soft and comfortable and for the first time in what felt like an age, you actually felt momentarily rested.

Until you remembered where you were and what today was.

You were alone in the room as expected and you couldn’t even see any evidence that Spencer had entered it last night. This was his childhood home though so he would know the whereabouts of the other bedrooms and had likely stayed in one of them or downstairs. If he had even returned to the house at all.

A grumble within your tummy reminded you that you hadn’t eaten since the flight yesterday and reluctantly, you hauled yourself out of bed, pulling back on the clothes you’d discarded yesterday. You slowly made your way back downstairs, searching for the kitchen in the unfamiliar house. That was where you found your husband.

He was sat at a circular kitchen table, black coffee which you knew would have at least four sugars in it in front of him and the local paper clasped in his hands.

“Morning,” you greeted him, resolving with yourself that today, you wouldn’t fall out. He didn’t need that on the day of his father’s funeral and you didn’t need that when you were going to be surrounded by his family. You were still his wife, you had to at least put on a front and make a show that you were supporting him. Although, you genuinely did want to support him if you could. You remembered when your own father had died, how low and lost you’d become.

Spencer didn’t respond, barely glancing up from his paper. Spying a toaster and a bread bin you set about making some toast for yourself, trying to ignore the question that been niggling at you since last night. After spreading your toast, you sat opposite him at the table, making a mental note to attempt to locate cleaning supplies and to mop the floor at some point over the next few days. It felt slightly tacky underfoot. Munching on your breakfast, the niggle grew larger and larger until you couldn’t not ask.

“Spencer, why didn’t you tell me your father was ill?”

You almost didn’t expect him to even respond.

“Isn’t that what we do now? Not tell each other things.” His voice was quiet and calm, which was why you pushed him when you shouldn’t have.

“But this was important.”

He folded the paper and set it down, staring at you coldly. “So was you deciding to have an abortion but you didn’t tell me until after you’d done it.”

Ouch. The was as cutting as he’d intended it to be. Still, you tried to look past it. His father had just died after all.

“This is completely different Spencer….”

“Is it?” he interrupted you. “I don’t tell you my father is dying until after he’s already dead and you don’t tell me until after you’ve already killed our child.”

You couldn’t help it, blurting out,“It wasn’t OUR child.”

Spencer’s eyes narrowed and he shoved his chair backwards, standing upright. Then he seemed to explode, shocking you completely. “So I’m constantly reminded. It was HIS. Everything about you was always HIS. Even when I thought you were mine, that you loved me, you were HIS. I was wrong about you, so fucking wrong. You’re just a spoilt little girl who took what she could get, smashing peoples hearts along the way. I was blinded by you for so long but I see you now Y/N. I see you for what you truly are. It’s no wonder he didn’t want you, it’s no wonder he didn’t want the baby he’d put inside of you. It’s no wonder…. ”

“SHUT UP!” you shrieked, your hands flying to cover your ears as you begged yourself not to cry. He hadn’t even reacted like this when he’d found about the abortion, simply turning cold towards you which you almost thought was worse. He stalked over to you and angrily pulled your hands down, his fingers gripping your wrists tightly. He lowered his face so that it was level with yours.

“I knew I’d always be second best to him but I thought that maybe, after everything he’d done to you, you’d see that he was the bad guy and I was the good. But no. Even after all I had done for you, everything we’d been through with Lara, with the cancer, after everything I gave you, you still went back. I could even forgive the affair, you know. But not that. You killed the one thing I wanted more than anything. The one thing I could no longer have naturally. And I hate you for that.”

His face was closer to yours now, the coffee on his breath filling your nose. His grip on your wrists was so tight you were sure you were going to bruise.

“I didn’t tell you about my father because I didn’t want you to pity me. I didn’t want anything from you anymore. I didn’t want my family thinking you were the perfectly lovely little wifey.”

“So why did you even bring me here then? You could have left me in New York. You could have divorced me,” you finally managed to respond to him.

“Because for some unknown reason, my mother likes you. And she’s been through enough without dealing with this too. That is the only reason you are still my wife on paper and in name. The ONLY reason. Now go and get dressed, and make a fucking effort. You’ve looked disgusting recently.”

He released your wrists and stalked out of the room leaving you wondering how this morning had turned so wrong so quickly.

A Present (Spencer Reid x OC)

Note/Spoilers: This is set during 4.24, Amplification, after Spence is cleared from that strain of anthrax. The OC,Maggie, is gonna be cool, you will probably see her more. Now for some cute fluff!

        Maggie knocked on the frame of the hospital room door. “May I?”

        “Please,” Morgan stood up and walked to the doorway. “Have fun, lovebird,” he whispered. Maggie playfully elbowed him in the arm, a brief smile shining through her concern.

        She walked inside slowly, dragging the chair closer to Reid. She sat gracefully on the fairly uncomfortable chair.

        “Hey, Spence,” she tentatively murmured. Maggie hoped that he wasn’t going to sleep just yet. She wanted to talk, now. 

        “Maggie!” He gushed. Spencer was a bit groggy, but that just just made him more cute. His bed was raised up at the ideal conversing height, before Maggie even got in there. He probably knows the exact angle, and the formula to calculate said angle, she mused. He grabbed one of her hands with his two. Maggie used the other to tuck a few loose strands behind his ear, where they belonged. “What’s up?”

        “Didn’t Morgan already fill you in?” asked Maggie.

        “Yeah, but I want to hear you tell me. Please?” Spencer bargained. His eyes were clear, if not visibly drowsy. 

        “Really, babe?” she wondered. 

        “Really,” he said sweetly.

        “Are you on some kind of medication that makes you about five times more adorable?” Maggie was almost curious whether antibiotics could actually make Spencer cuter.

        “Just ciprofloxacin, rifampin, and vancomycin.” He gave her that shrugging smile that she enjoyed so much. She gripped tighter while rolling her eyes.

        “Obviously, the team’s okay. We got the unsub, and few people he attacked survived. You’re going to be better soon, right?”

        “I’ll be fine.” He closed his eyes and took a breath, as though he were steeling himself. “Listen, Maggie…”

        “Sorry, I’m leaving. You need your rest, I get it.” She was beginning to stand up when he tugged on her hand. 

        “Actually, I was hoping you could stay for a little while longer. I have something I want to give you.” Spencer confided.

        Maggie sat right back down. “Sure, Spence, no problem.”

        “Great,” he mumbled, staring nowhere and absentminded. That was a rare Spencer to see, not knowing what to say.

        “If you want me to have something, you have to give it to me, y'know,” she chided.

        “Right.” He snapped out of his trance. “Can you get my bag for me?” He gestured to the personal affects bag across the room. Maggie nodded and stood. She strode over there and back, bag in hand. She traded the bag off to Spencer.

        “Thanks,” he smiled. He rifled through his clothes to pull out a small square box. It had some fancy-looking foil name pressed into the matte black finish. “I really hope you like it.” He placed it gently into her free hand. 

        “Spence, what is it?” Maggie inquired, while taking it. 

        “Just open it. Please,” He smiled softly, releasing his fingers from the hand of hers he had.

        “Okay…” She was almost scared. “Why is it wet?” The box felt a little damp, and it was hard to open. 

        “The decontamination shower here. I just got my things from Morgan.” He explained.

        “That’s nice,” she said positively. She took a deep breath. The box came apart slowly and not without force. inside was a thin silver ring with a molecule shape with little gems within the band. Maggie smiled with surprise and recognition. “That’s serotonin, right?”

        “The happiness chemical, because you make me so happy, Maggie. I can’t imagine what I’d do without  you… Will you marry me?” Spencer proposed. 

        Maggie couldn’t take the ring out and put it on her finger fast enough. “Of course, Spence, of course!” She extolled. She wrapped her hands around his face as she went in for a kiss. Spencer returned it softly, the way he always kissed her. They split, both grinning.