spelt

what keith did for one year alone in his shack

  • used to crunch on dry spaghetti for every meal
  • washed his clothes in sprite
  • ‘if there are any ghosts here tonight, can you make me sneeze?’ forces himself to sneeze 'hOLY-’
  • when there was a desert storm he would run straight at the lightning, screaming the whole time
  • labelled his water tank 'sweat’ and his gasoline tank 'water’
  • had never sworn out loud before because of authority figures. the first time he finally did, it was in a whisper and he giggled so hard he blacked out
  • had a pet rock named 'not-shiro’
  • he would talk to it and ask it questions
  • 'not-shiro, can i gargle with soap if i run out of toothpaste? you’re right, that’s stupid. i’ll use laundry detergent instead’
  • the only song he had on his iPod was the barney theme song and he would breakdance gently to it
  • found a cave full of strange lion carvings and his first instinct was to lick the walls
  • 'don’t mess with me i have a knife!!!!’
  • the desert lizard he’s threatening just blinks back at him
  • missed seeing cute boys. saw himself in a mirror and got so startled he punched it
  • found himself subconsciously spelling 'lance’ in his alphabet soup and got so mad he dunked the whole bowl on his head
  • he would write in the sand 'aliens hit me up i am single and willing’
  • took pictures of strange desert cryptids for his conspiracy board but they were just selfies
  • used his radio to listen for any news of shiro and make chewbacca noises on public channels
  • 'i don’t like sand. it’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere’
  • when he sat on his hoverbike he would pretend he was in an old spice commercial
  • every time a shooting star passed overhead he would gasp and whisper 'shiro’
  • snuck back to the garrison so he could carve 'kieth’ into all of iverson’s belongings to torment him. only realised he spelt his own name wrong after the 546th carving
  • 'snapshot this google earth!’ before he would raise his middle finger up at the sky

okay my last rant is stop fucking telling bts to unbutton their shirts. stop it. stop objectifying them. they are not a piece of meat, they are not your objects. stop sexualising them. jimin said during the bst era “i guess our fans dont like me as me. i guess i have to show some skin.” like do you see what you’re doing? it fucking hurts them you know? they are humans. they have feelings. they are not your property. i dont think enough people realise this.