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Ladies, gentlemen, you. Today is Street Cleaning Day.

Please remain calm!

Street Cleaners will be upon us quite soon. We have little time to prepare.

Please remain calm!

The City Council has issued a statement in 20-point all-caps type saying:

RUN! RUN! FORGET YOUR CHILDREN AND LEAVE BEHIND THE WEAK! RUN!

We have contacted those experts who have not already gone underground or changed their identity, and have been told that Street Cleaners focus on heat and movement, and so the best strategy is to be dead already.

Then the experts all swallowed pills and fell, mouths frothing, at my feet.

If you have doors, lock them.

If you have windows, board them up.

If you still have ears, cover them, and crouch wherever you are.

It is Street Cleaning Day.

Please remain calm!

The street cleaners move like speed skaters on their broom-like feet. They exhale chemicals designed to kill 99.9% of germs. And human bodies are so full of germs…

Reposting my old WTNV art after getting back into the fandom. From Street Cleaning Day. 

Its okay we dont need a junkrat skin this round.

You know what would be better?

Winter Olympics Speed Skater Junkrat.

Imagine, Junkrat has no idea how to skate he just somehow ended up there.

He spends the whole race in the rear until the asshole in first place trips over and everyone else trips over him.

Junkrat glides backwards over the finish line in first place.

Stupid Details - Jupiter Ascending

One of my favorite stupid details in Jupiter Ascending is Caine Wise’s space skating shoes. 

As someone who roller skates pretty much like three-four times a week I was the squeeingest nerd in the theater over it.

Why, you ask?

Because Channing Tatum clearly, at some point, either in his life or in prep for the movie, trained in speed skating.

And, to my eyes (others are welcome to disagree!), it looked specifically like quad speed skating. I see quad and inline speed skaters in action at least once a week. The differences in the pushes for quads rather than inline is visible to those familiar with them. And C-Tates (h/t pointlessarguments101) was absolutely skating with a quad skate stride. 

Also, the design of the space skate shoes just looked like quad skates. 

I could not stop grinning every time he was using them.

joshversus pointed out that given the Wachowski’s ages, they probably grew up on shitty movies written around skating, inspiring this element of Caine Wise’s character.

Much like pretty much everything else in the movie, my reaction is DON’T CARE. TOO BUSY *CHINHANDS*ING.

“When I was a speed skater, I got first and second place in college championship title competitions or national competitions often, but in big, important competitions like the selection match for the national team, I wasn’t so good. In competitions like that, athletes grit their teeth and come out. But I couldn’t do it. I’m a little indecisive, so when I had to go out boldly, I always hesitated. I worked hard when I prepared, but in matches, I didn’t have the mindset of ‘I have to win.’ So that’s why I didn’t become a famous athlete. I wasn’t stubborn, so I didn’t fall behind, but I wasn’t exceptional either. I could only live following and adapting to the current. I do regret that a bit. But what can I do? That’s my personality…”

“내가 빙상을 할 때 대학 선수권 대회나 전국 대회에서는 1, 2등을 많이 했지만 국가대표 선발전 같은 크고 중요한 대회에서는 그러지 못 했어. 그런 대회에는 선수들이 이를 갈고 나오거든. 나는 그게 안 되더라고. 성격이 우유부단해서 과감하게 나가야 할 때 항상 망설였어. 준비할 때는 열심히 했지만 경기에서 막상 ‘반드시 이겨야겠다’는 마음이 부족했지. 그래서 유명한 선수가 못 된 거야. 악착 같은 성격이 아니다 보니까 아주 떨어지지는 않았지만 그렇다고 특출 난 사람도 아니었어. 그저 흐름에 따라서 순응해 나가는 그런 삶 밖에 살지 못 했지. 그런 점은 참 아쉬워. 근데 그게 내 성격인걸…”

HISTORY LESSON FOR TUMBLR

1 yr old – . By this age, Christian Friedrich Heinecken had read the Pentateuch.

2 yrs old – Speed skater Bonnie Blair began skating. She later won five Olympic gold medals.

3 yrs old – Jodie Foster began acting professionally at age 3, when she shot her first Coppertone commercial.

4 yrs old – Singer/songwriter Tori Amos was accepted into Baltimore’s Peabody Academy of Music, the youngest student ever accepted there. She was expelled at age 11 for improvisation and playing rock covers by ear.

5 yrs old – Mozart began composing minuets. Once when a second violinist failed to appear for a string quartet performance, Mozart took his place, even though he’d never seen the music.

6 yrs old – Drew Barrymore, granddaughter of noted actor John Barrymore, was already a seasoned actress.

7 yrs old – Child film actor Jackie Coogan starred in the Chaplin movie The Kid and became the youngest person to make a million dollars.

8 yrs old – Three-time Olympic gold medal-winning runner Wilma Rudolph was unable to walk until she was eight.

9 yrs old – Daisy Ashford wrote her first and last novel, The Young Visitors, which sold over 200,000 copies.

10 yrs old – Recording artist Stevie Wonder was signed by Motown records.

11 yrs old – Country singer, songwriter and actress Dolly Parton made her first radio appearance.

12 yrs old – Filmmaker Steven Spielberg got his first movie camera and spent hours writing scripts, drawing storyboards and making movies of subjects such as head-on miniature train crashes and an exploding pressure cooker full of cherries jubilee.

13 yrs old – World champion Mario Andretti began racing.

14 yrs old- Skai Jackson she ended Azealia Banks career

“Now I’m 90 years old, but when I was young, I was a speed skater. That was during the Japanese colonial era. Do you think there was such a thing as an ice rink back then? Of course not. So during the summer, I solely focused on building up my stamina. Every day, I’d put a cushion on the ground and do squats a thousand times. I kept doing that until October when I’d go up to Kanggye, North Pyeongan Province*, where the water freezes first before anywhere else in the country. Only then could I ice skate. We’d pour water into rice paddies and turn them into ice skating rinks. As the winter deepened, little by little I would move south and continue training. Since the surroundings were so poor, I couldn’t even think about detailed techniques. When I went out to international competitions, I was no match for the foreign athletes who trained on perfectly smooth ice. Nevertheless, sports are all about passion. I really worked myself to death. People would only see my performance in competitions, but the kind of effort I put in can’t be described. Since I put in that much effort, no matter if the competition was big or small, I remember all of the times that I was first to the finish line. I was so happy. But then, when I was 24 years old, the Korean War erupted. I had to put everything aside and go fight in the war. I barely managed to pull myself together after it ended, and by then I was already over 30 years old. As it was, I had to retire. But I don’t have any regrets. It’s just that there was no chance. There was nothing that I could do.”

*North Pyeongan Province is located in modern day North Korea.

“내가 올해 90인데, 젊었을 때 스피드 스케이팅 선수였어. 그때가 일제강점기 때였거든. 아이스링크 같은 게 있었나, 없었지. 그래서 여름에는 체력훈련만 했어. 땅바닥에 쿠션을 놓고 그 위에서 앉았다 일어났다를 하루에 천 개씩 했지. 그러다가 10월이 되면 우리나라에서 얼음이 가장 먼저 어는 평안북도 강계로 올라갔어. 그제서야 스케이트를 탈 수 있는 거지. 논에다가 물을 얼려서 스케이트장을 만들고 말이야. 겨울이 깊어질수록 점점 남쪽으로 내려오면서 훈련을 하는 거야. 그만큼 환경이 열악해서 섬세한 기술 같은 건 생각할 수도 없었어. 국제 대회를 나가면 매끈한 얼음 위에서 훈련하는 외국 선수들하고는 상대가 안 됐지. 그래도 스포츠는 열정이거든. 정말 죽어라 했어. 사람들은 대회에 나와서 활약하는 모습만 보지만 그때까지의 노력은 이루 말할 수도 없지. 그렇게 노력을 했기 때문에 큰 대회던 작은 대회던 먼저 골인 했던 순간들이 다 기억에 남아. 정말 기뻤지. 그런데 나 스물 네 살 때 6.25가 터진 거야. 모든 걸 다 접고 전쟁에 참가해야 했어. 전쟁이 끝나고 겨우 내 상황을 추스려보니 나는 이미 서른이 넘어있었어. 그대로 은퇴를 해야 했지. 하지만 미련은 없어. 그저 인연이 없었을뿐. 내가 어쩔 수 있는 게 아니었어.”