“And when we come back we’ll be dressed in black and you’ll scream my name aloud, and we won’t eat and we won’t sleep, we’ll drag bodies from a ground! So say my name and every colour illuminates.” - Spectrum, Florence and The Machine.
every poem I ever wrote about you revolved around the concept of noise,
like an acrobat
across a tightrope.
like the soft sound made by a cassette tape
like slamming doors
and startling laughter, like colorful shoes
on slick concrete.
the way you say
unleashes a spectrum
of colors in my mind.
though I could never figure out
what the loneliest sound is,
I know that you are
of the loveliest noises.
they say a picture is worth a thousand words, but it would take me millions
to properly convey how you look
when you smile,
or when you take a drag of a cigarette,
blowing smoke out into the atmosphere.
breathe in. breathe out. breath me in. breath you out. breathe you back in; breathe me out and
my god, I’ve forgotten how lungs work,
I am drowning in thoughts of you,
while you are off somewhere, floating in a pool of my tears
and sipping some fruity cocktail.
I watch the smoke drift and fade away,
and it makes me wonder if that is what it will be like when you go;
me, with the taste of second hand nicotine on my tongue,
between my teeth,
ascending to the sky on a plane, slowly fading into the horizon.
out of sight,
I wish I could freeze this moment and trap your vibrant energy like fireflies in a jar.
when you left me
I left my door ajar
just in case you decided
to come back
I sleep on one side of my bed
instead of the middle
just in case you come back in the middle of the night
and crawl under the covers.
when I go out,
I sit at a table for two
and make small talk with the ghost of you
and though the food is spicy,
all my tastebuds receive are bittersweet memories
you look at me and a smile
crosses your face
one that makes it all the way to your eyes
my chest aches,
in a pleasant kind of way,
as if you were keeping my heart inside of yours.
behind the hazy cloud of smoke residue,
I can see love in your eyes.
you slide your sweaty palm into mine, and give it a squeeze.
the way your lips move, shaping around the words
“I love you,”
the way they coat me like caramel on an apple,
the sticky, sickly sweet sensation clogging my pores and enveloping me whole.
pause. fast forward.
he smiles at me.
I smile back,
but can’t help but notice
his nose doesn’t scrunch like yours,
his lips don’t curve the same.
but you are thousands of miles away,
forgetting me with every breath you take,
memories of me fading like smoke
in the distance,
while I try to memorize someone else’s landscape.
I wear the perfume
that you loved the most
and it makes me think of you
so while he tells me he has finally found
that I feel like home
I get lost in thoughts of you,
hands in my hair,
tangled up in a warm, golden kind of silence,
not caring nor knowing
where I begin, and you end
you squeeze my hand once more,
to stop me from trembling,
because I know that all too soon,
we will untangle
from the web of love
that we have weaved,
sit in a melancholy blue kind of silence,
and say goodbye.
and when you walk away for the last time,
I will finally know what the loneliest
sound in the world is,
that even the supernatural power of phantoms will pale in comparison
to the noise made by your footsteps when you walk away,
because that fading sound will haunt me forever.
and when the door shuts between us,
we will finally learn
where you start and I end.
if missing you is art, then I will be creating masterpieces
Dark Horse by Katy Perry "But you better choose carefully/‘Cause I, I’m capable of anything//Make me your Aphrodite/Make me your one and only/But don’t make me your enemy/So you wanna play with magic/Boy, you should know what you're falling for/Baby do you dare to do this?"
Not On Drugs by Tove Lo "Baby, don't you see?/I'm not on drugs, I'm not on drugs,/I'm just in love/You're high enough for me"
Don't Need Nobody by Ellie Goulding "I'm just a victim of the weapon in my hand/So many casualties of love//Never a flame to burn slow/But I was hoping you'd see me a different way//You are the realest thing I've never had to fake/I don't need nobody, need nobody but you"
The Way That I Am by Tove Lo "You can point fingers, all you want/I don't care/I love you anyway/Yeah, I'm falling in love and I hope that you want me/The way that I am/Falling in love/And I know I can't change me/Do you understand?"
Legendary Lovers by Katy Perry "Maybe this is the beginning of something so magical tonight//Say my name like a scripture/Keep my heart beating like a drum"
Riptide by Vance Joy "Lady, running down to the riptide/Taken away to the dark side/I wanna be your left hand man/I love you when you're singing that song and/I got a lump in my throat 'cause/You're gonna sing the words wrong"
Around U by Ellie Goulding "I just want to be around you/Is that too much to ask?/Don't tell me I'm wrong, I could be there/if only you'd let me in"
Touch by Troye Sivan "Standing in the eye of the storm/My eyes start to roam/To the curl of your lips/In the center of eclipse/In total darkness I, I reach out and touch"
Got Love by Tove Lo "Good enough to make the ocean like it's a pond/Good enough to turn the valleys into mountain tops/And we live like legends now, know that we'll never die/And we got love, we got love"
You're The One by Charli XCX "You're the one who can make me stay/You're the only one who makes me feel this way/You're the one that's been stealing stars/Your golden arrow went through my heart"
Strangeness and Charm by Florence + the Machine "An atom to atom oh can you feel it on me love/A pattern to pattern oh can you see it on me love/Atom to atom oh what's the matter with me love?"
Spectrum by Florence + the Machine "Say my name/And every color illuminates/We are shining/And we will never be afraid again"
circles by vanic and machineheart - "i don't know where i'm going, but i know where i've been, and it's not in the knowing, it's in the not giving in."
listen to the man by george ezra - "you don’t need a plan of what you want to do, won’t you listen to the man that's loving you? your world keeps spinning and you can’t jump off, but i will catch you if you fall, i can’t tell you enough."
new romantics by taylor swift - "we need love, but all we want is danger. we team up then switch sides like a record changer. the rumors are terrible and cruel but, honey, most of them are true."
bones by lewis watson - "so i'll spend the night looking into your eyes because i want to remember them if i ever fall blind. we could jump in the ocean and sink like stones, but that's ok with me baby, 'cause i'll be next to your bones."
bravado by lorde - "i'm thinking glory, lick my lips, toss my hair, and send a smile over, and the story's brand new. i can take it from here, i'll find my own bravado."
spectrum by florence and the machine - "and when we first came here, we were cold and we were clear with no colors in our skin 'til we let the spectrum in. say my name and every color illuminates, we are shining and we will never be afraid again."
golden revolver by san cisco - "you can find love in the most extraordinary places, hiding away so no one can trace them. you duck and weave through the maze of hatred, and found yourself something but you kept it all."
no. 1 party anthem by arctic monkeys - "drunken monologues, confused because it's not like i'm falling in love, i just want you to do me no good; you look like you could."
talking dreams by echosmith - "this is a short race, this is a short life. let's run, not walk, through this beautiful life. this is a good day, this is a good sign."
grand optimist by city and colour - "he is the grand optimist, i am the world's poor pessimist, you give him burdens sometimes, he will escape unscarred."
we all die trying to get it right by vance joy - "think you're in control until you're not, and you're so in love until you're not. find a place where we can be alone, find a place where we can be ourselves."
house of gold by twenty one pilots - "and since we know that dreams are dead, and life turns plans up on their head, i will plan to be a bum, so i just might become someone."
Illuminated - Hurts // Love Love - Take That // Closer - Tegan and Sara // Spectrum (Say My Name) [Calvin Harris Remix] - Florence + the Machine ft. Calvin Harris // Feel it in My Bones (ft. Tegan and Sara) - Tiesto // What I Like - Charlie XCX // You Make Me Feel… - Cobra Starship ft. Sabi // Nicotine - Panic! at the Disco // Stop the World I Wanna Get Off With You - Arctic Monkeys // Drive By - Train // Exile Vilify - The National
battle cry ~ angel haze ft sia // not giving in (feat. john newman & alex clare) ~ rudimental // fugitives ~ boy jumps ship // spectrum (say my name) [calvin harris remix] ~ florence + the machine // pompeii ~ bastille // burn ~ ellie goulding // the fighter (feat ryan tedder) ~ gym class heroes // my songs know what you did in the dark (light em up) ~ fall out boy // seize the day ~ boy jumps ship