I was shaking. Cold, scared, helpless. A gunshot rang out and I jumped. I am going to die. I thought this to myself as I closed my eyes tightly, hearing footsteps and voices coming closer and closer.
“Y/N!” My breath caught in my throat at the sound of a familiar voice. “Y/N!” another voice joined in with the first, and they spoke in union.
“Reid!” I screamed as loud as I could, beating on the locked doors of the small compartment I was being held in. My voice was hoarse, and I was almost sure they didn’t hear me. “Derek! Reid!” I tried once more, and suddenly the doors were torn open, and I fell into someone’s arms. I was crying now, shaking with my sobs and the fear that was only now slightly beginning to fade as Derek held me tightly to his chest.
“It’s alright. Everything is going to be okay.”
Two days later
I was sitting in Garcia’s office, I hadn’t really left the office since we had gotten back much, too scared. I hugged myself tightly, the ends of the sleeves of my over-sized sweater were curled into my fists. I sat cross-legged in Garcia’s chair as she, Derek, Spencer, and Hotch were all outside talking.
It’s about me. I thought, I couldn’t help it. Something is wrong, and it is about me. Why else couldn’t they talk about it in front of me, like they always did. In the past year I had been with Spencer, the group had never kept anything away from me when I was around. If it was a case, I was there to hear every detail. If it was about their personal lives, I was there to laugh at the jokes, give comfort when there were tears, and offer advice when there were questions. But this was different. Because it’s about me.
Suddenly, the door opened, and Garcia stepped in, quickly shutting it behind herself. She was turned towards the door, and she set her forehead against it for a moment before sighing and turning towards me, her eyes red with building tears. I stood immediately, rushing over to her.
“Hon, what’s wrong?” I asked, and she shook her head as I grabbed her arms.
“I didn’t want to hear any more of that.” She mumbled, and my eyebrows came together in confusion. Maybe it’s not about me? No, they would have come in here to talk if it wasn’t. What the hell is it? I reached for the door handle, but she pulled me away.
“No, they’re going to come in here and talk about it with you.” She spoke simply, but I could tell she was serious, so we walked over to the chairs and began to talk. Soon enough, we were both falling into laughter, when the door opened, and Derek just stared at the both of us for a moment as we slowly fell back into silence, staring back at him. He had the hint of a smile playing at his lips, but it wasn’t completely there. Something is wrong.
“Hey baby-girls.” He smiled now, but it didn’t reach his eyes. My eyebrows knitted together slightly as I watch Spencer walk in behind him, then Hotch a moment later. Everyone was sitting but Spencer, as he leaned against the desk. I didn’t know what they were going to say, but I wasn’t ready for it, especially when Spencer suddenly broke the silence, almost yelling.
“You have to leave.”
Silence. Derek’s mouth fell open slightly, and Hotch seemed to be just as caught off guard by his outburst as I had been. Garcia just stared at me, her eyes watering again. I stared at the floor. Derek’s attention fell from Spencer and went to me, and Hotch’s eyes rested on me as well, but I ignored it. I bit the inside of my cheek and closed my eyes.
“What?” I had meant for it to come out as if I wasn’t bothered by his words. But instead, it came out as a whisper.
“He means that you are not safe. They took you because you were close to him. It’s unsafe for you-” Hotch tried to explain but I cut him off.
“No! I want to hear Reid say it!” I yelled, keeping my eyes trained on the floor, but I noticed that the only person in the room that didn’t flinch at my outburst was Hodge.
“Y/N.” Garcia whispered, and I shook my head.
“I said Reid.” I whispered, and finally looked up from the floor, standing from my seat. I looked over to the man I had been with for a year. The man I trusted with my life.
His dark, long hair had fallen in his face, and he was staring at the floor, just as I had been a few moments before.
“You have to leave.” He repeated, his voice low, showing no emotion.
“Look at me.” I spoke calmly, but anger and confusion was coursing through my veins. At the moment, sadness was only a background feeling. “I said look at me Spencer.” I spoke through gritted teeth, and he finally looked up, standing straight and looking me in the eye.
“You need to leave. We are no longer seeing each other.” He moved out of the room, walking to his own desk, but I followed after, and I knew the other three weren’t far behind.
“Why?” I yelled, and he picked my bag off of the floor, setting it on the desk beside me.
“It’s not safe for you.” Derek tried to speak for him, but I ignored him.
“I thought you loved m-”
“I don’t love you! I don’t love anyone! You know that. Everyone knows that! You were just someone that I spent time with. You were someone that dealt with me, and I dealt with you. I never loved you. Your feelings are irrational!” He had turned towards me, yelling as he took step after step towards me until he was standing so close to me that if I had moved at all we would have been touching, and he was yelling in my face.
Garcia had her hand pressed over her mouth, tears falling down her face as she watched. Hotch had looked away, staring at the floor. Derek was the only one looking at us, his hands clenched into fists, and I could tell he was gritting his teeth.
“I want you to go!” Spencer screamed in my face once more, and I could feel the tears threatening to build in my eyes. I wanted to look him in the eye, see if he was lying. He had to be. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it before he turned from me and began to walk away.
“You’re lying!” I screamed, stepping forward as to grab his arm and make him turn towards me, but Derek grabbed me by the waist, holding me back. “Let go of me! You’re lying Spencer! You’re just scared. You’re a coward. You’re just scared of what you don’t know can be explained by science and statistics. You’re lying!” I was yelling, screaming and hitting Derek. “Let me go!” I yelled, and Spencer kept walking, out of the room and down the hallway. “Get away from me!”
“Baby-girl! Stop it! Stop!” Derek yelled at me, picking me up as I yelled, pulling me further away from the direction Spencer had gone. “Stop!” Derek screamed once more, and I froze, staring him in the eye.
I was numb.
“He’s gone.” Derek mumbled, holding onto me.
I could feel the emotions burning under my skin, but they wouldn’t come out.
“No.” I whispered.
I was imploding.
“It’s over.” He wrapped his arms around me, but my vision had blurred. I didn’t hug him back. I didn’t move. Garcia hugged me next, whispering something along the lines of “It’s going to be okay.” But I barely heard it.
I couldn’t hear.
I couldn’t see.
I was numb.
“You need to leave.”
((Please feel free to send me your feedback through messages, or asks, or anything else! I really appreciate any and all comments you make on what I write, so please don’t hold back! Much love!))
Can you do a story where Gideon dies and Spence is extremely distraught and upset so the reader tries to comfort him?
Spencer x Reader
Warnings: talk of death and mild depression
Spencer hadn’t been into the office for a few weeks, and
every mission he didn’t show up you grew more and more worried about him.
The day everyone
found out about Gideon’s death was one of the darkest days for the team,
especially for Spencer, they had been close friends, so when he didn’t come to
work the first week you brushed it off thinking he needed time.
Then the second week came along, he still hadn’t come into
work or answered any of your calls, you started to become nervous about his
Now three weeks later
and still no word from him you decided that he had been gone long enough; you
missed him, and besides the team needed him. So after work you drove over to
his apartment to check on him and to ask him to come back.
Once you found his apartment number you knocked furiously
and yelled through the door “Spencer open up I know you’re in there I saw your
car” you waited moment but there was no answer so you tried again “Spencer open
the door right now or I’m going to break it in” you counted to ten in your head
and just as you were about to break down the door it flew open.
Standing before you was a Spencer you didn’t recognize, he
had scruff all over his chin, his short hair was standing up and poking out at
various angels, he was in pajamas, and his once bright brown eyes were now
dead, you felt like you were looking at a stranger.
“Hey Spence we haven’t seen in you or heard from you in a while
so I wanted to stop by to make sure you were okay” you said looking past him at
the dirty apartment.
When he responded his voice was just as dead as his eyes “I’m
Your heart broke seeing him like this “Spencer it’s okay if
you’re not okay everyone’s struggling right now, Gideon was good friends with
“I said I was fine y/n now go home I don’t need you or
anyone else for that matter” He said cutting you off.
The words stung but you weren’t ready to give up that easily
“You may not need me but I need you, the team needs you and whether you believe
it or not you need us too”. You said trying to reach him past his walls he had
“No I don’t, go home y/n I want to be alone!” he said
raising his voice and slamming the door in your face.
You stood there in shock, you could not believe he just
slammed the door in your face, Spencer was one of the nicest guys you knew and
hearing him yell at you hurt but there was no way you were going to show that
so you slammed your fists against the door “Fine if you want to be alone be alone!”
you yelled turning and walking away.
When you got home you felt terrible about the way you acted,
Spence didn’t deserve that, he was mourning the loss of one of his best
friends, sure you missed Gideon too but Him and Spencer had always been closer of
course he would want to be alone, so you decided to go back tomorrow to
apologize and try again.
This time you didn’t even bother knocking you knew he
wouldn’t answer the door so you tried the nob and it twisted open without
resistance, Spencer obviously wasn’t thinking straight if he had left his door
unlocked, he knew about the kind of people we dealt with.
You walked in and saw the place in complete disarray; this was
so unlike Spencer you became even more distraught about him.
You looked around but he was know where to be seen so you
moved towards the bedroom, you opened it and saw him lying on the floor shaking
with quiet tears. Your breath caught in your throat you couldn’t stand to see
the man you were in love with so completely broken.
You rushed over to him and pulled him up into your arms. You
held him and let him cry for what could have been hours, you didn’t care all
you could focus on was Spencer and making sure he would be okay.
Once his tears dried he sat up and looked at you with a
desolate gleam in his eyes then reached out and put his arms around your waist
pulling you into a tight hug. You let out a soft sigh his arms around you made
you feel safe in this big and scary world.
You sat in the quite for a moment before Spencer asked “I
thought you said you were going to leave me alone, I wanted you too?”
You didn’t sense any anger in his voice just curiosity “I
did” you answered “But I was wrong, no one should be alone at a time like this”
You said rubbing circles into his back.
The room fell quiet again until you decided to ask your own
question “You do know you’re not alone right? You know that the whole team is
here for you, that I’m here for you?” you asked pulling away from his arms so
you could look up into his eyes.
He sounded sad when he responded “I know” his voice broke.
“I know, but Gideon’s death made me feel that way, I know we hadn’t talked in a
while but it was comforting knowing that he was out there, and then this
happened and it felt like the whole world was closing in around me I felt
abandoned and I wanted Gideon to fix it, not you, not Morgan, not anyone but then
you came and it felt like you were intruding on something , that you weren’t
supposed to be there, so I said some things I didn’t mean to get you to leave,
and that’s exactly what you did. When you were gone I felt worse than I had
before. I couldn’t shake it, the utter loneliness, so I cried my heart out and
then the strangest thing happened “
You raised your eyebrow in question.
“You came back” he said simply.
You smiled and wrapped your arms around him again hugging
him tight before standing up “Well good I’m glad I came back then” you said
looking around at his room and wrinkling your nose in disgust “Should we start
cleaning this place it’s kind of a pigsty?” you asked giving him one of your
He sighed and got to his feet as well “I guess” he said dramatically
rolling his eyes and giving you a playful wink.
Your heart did little summer salts while you thought to
yourself that it was a good thing that the room was dark so he couldn’t see the
blush you felt coloring your cheeks “Alright let’s get started” you said trying
to keep your voice as even as possible.
You guys worked in tandem for a few hours until the
apartment was completely clean, then you both took the garbage to the dumpster
and then he walked you to your car. You opened the door and you were about to
get in it when he reached his hand out and put it on your shoulder to stop you
“Thank you y/n, for everything, you’re a great friend I don’t know what I would
do without you” He said giving your shoulder a quick squeeze before dropping
his hand and turning to go back inside.
You couldn’t let it end like this; he had to know how you
really felt. You didn’t care anymore if it was the right time or place; you
were tired of him hurting you indirectly, at least if he knew then he could
avoid it. So you pushed away all your fear like you do right before every
mission so you reached out and grabbed his hand.
He turned back towards you and you bravely took a chance
with your heart. You got up on your tiptoes and pressed your lips to his. It
was everything you thought it would be electric and addictive.
Spencer was completely taken by surprise he remained
motionless while your lips moved over his not knowing what he should do, he had
never thought about you like this before, but then logic left him and his
emotions took over, he closed his eyes and was about to kiss you back when you
When he didn’t immediately kiss you back you became a little
worried but you kept trying hoping he was still in shock but then nothing came,
you were devastated, so you tore your lips away from his and jumped into your
car started it and pulled away.
He stood there staring at the empty space you had been
standing in feeling more alone than he had in his entire life.
There was a little girl in the BAU who was sitting down by the office glass door.
Everybody was wondering who she was because she only looked 5 years old or maybe even 4 years old.
She was drawing in her sketch book with headphones in her tiny ears minding her own business in her own place.
“Hey, what’s that little girl doing In here?” Emily said.
“What little girl?” Aaron said as he came down from his office.
“That one.” Emily pointed out as they all saw a little girl with long curly hair with a white headband with a bow on it , beautiful blue glowing eyes, a white dress with butterflies covering it, with white laced sandals with lace strings tied into a bow.
“Maybe she’s lost.” Jj suggested.
“Theirs no way she could be lost,no kids would just wonder in here without knowing where she was going.” Spencer stated.
“You think she’s somebody’s kid” asked Derek.
They all kept staring at her as they saw her flip a page on her sketch book and started to write something on it putting her pencil down she lifted up her sketch book towards them in big bold letters where the words.
“I know your talking about me, I can feel you stares. Just say hi” when she felt like they all ready she put her sketch book back down looking up as her beautiful eyes glowed in the light as she smiled and did a little rascals wave.
Making them smile at her, then suddenly a person walked pass her and she was gone scaring the leaving hell out of the BAU team.
“Where the hell did she go” spencer asked.
“I don’t know” Aaron said.
In full thought they didn’t hear or see Garcia come up behind them as she scared them.
“Wow what’s gotten into you guys?” She asks as they calm down
“They were spoked out by a little girl that was their but suddenly disappeared.” Rossi said.
“A little girl huh.” She says as they mood their heads yes.
“Would that happen to be this little girl.” She says with a smile as she then moves out of the way and shows the little girl that was on the floor drawing and listening to music was now in front of them drinking a juice box with a big box of fruit snacks on her knees eating them.
“Aww she’s even more pretty up close, what’s her name?” Emily says
“Her name is (y/n) Garcia” Penelope says as she looks down on her.
The little girl looks up and waves at the team while drinking her juice then eating her fruit snacks.
“Does she talk?” Aaron says
“Not while she’s eating.” Garcia answers
“Looks like your eating a lot of sweets their dear.” Rossi said with a smile.
“Well can I have spaghetti then?” She says with a smile.
The team smiled in awe at her adorable ness.
“We’ll go get you some when we get home,okay” Garcia says.
“Okay!” She say happily.
“But in the mean time this is Spencer, Emily, Derek, David, and Aaron” they all said hi.
“Hi,hi” the little girls says back.
“Wait…Garcia. You had a baby?” Derek says.
“What! no! She’s my sister” Garcia said making her little sister laugh and falling over.
“So why is she here?” Aaron asked.
“She’s are new programer.” Garcia says
“Really, that’s sick” spencer says
“Uhh!” She shrieks
“What’s wrong sweetie?” Aaron asked
“Someone has hacked into my data bAse! Come on mrs.snugglebite we have to stop the ugly bunny.” She grabs her sisters hand and runs back to the lair.
“Hahaha they’re so cute” Emily says
“A little girl working for the BAU that’s nice.” Rossi says.
“I guess now we have to protect her as well.” They all laughed and now were ready to start their day.
“I look out the window and I see the lights and the skyline and the people on the street rushing around looking for action, love, and the world’s greatest chocolate chip cookie, and my heart does a little dance.”