okay but what if all of the hp characters were queer??
• every night, pre-t trans boys fred and george sit criss-cross applesauce across from each other on the floor and take turns trying to talk in deeper voices, praising each other when they sound the way they want to
• all of the time closeted gay neville spent practicing his dance moves pays off when equally-as-closeted gay colin asks him to the ball and they spend the entire night spinning around the beautifully decorated dancefloor, falling in love with the way they each seem to find a home in the arms of another gryffindor outcast
• queer ginny brings agender pansexual luna home for christmas eve dinner to meet her family for the first time, planning to introduce them as her friend instead of her datemate, but she’s happily convinced to be honest when molly’s first reaction is to bombard luna with hugs and exclaim “oh, ginny, you did well!! they’re so cute!!”
• ace aro squishies ron and hermione usually get an entire floor of the burrow to themselves over the summer, but after hearing that draco got kicked out for telling his family that he’s dating harry, they decide to give up some of their free space to let him bunk there too
• polyamorous crabbe, goyle, and blaise all try to squeeze into one of the beds in the slytherin dormitory to sleep, but when they realize it only fits two comfortably, they lay some comforters on the floor and cozy up there instead so they can all be together
• bisexual cedric wants to be the triwizard champion so bad but, my god, who can focus on anything when fleur practically oozes this dreamy lavender scent that puts a lump in his throat and victor krum’s biceps have an actual magnetic connection with his eyes??
• sex-repulsed ace wood was born for quidditch, not intercourse, so keep your “haha you play with BALLS” jokes away from him, please
• lesbian “best friends” cho and lavender have practically hung off of each other since they met in the second year of school, so in year five when they announce that they’ve just started dating, their announcement is met with an array of “wait… JUST STARTED?"s
• padme’s love for fashion has prompted her to read many muggle style magazines over the years, and, luckily, the knowledge she’s obtained from them comes in handy when she gets to take her trans twin sister, parvati, dress shopping for the first time