sparkly trousers

Eight houses to be sorted into at the sort of school that does that sort of thing

1. House Spectronic. You like gold lame trousers, sparkly unicorns and serious Science. Your dorm has glitterballs. The glitterballs have lasers in. House Spectronic hold a yearly dance-off to showcase their movement-based mathematical notation and are generally into stuff like that.
2. House Jectibor. You are an arch-rationalist who believes that sorting people into different groups based on arbitrary personal characteristics is at best pointless and at worst a dangerous type of segregation promoting the formation of divisions and filter bubbles. House Jectibor campaigns for the abolition of Houses and also organises midnight trips out to get drunk on cheap cider in the hills.
3. House Oraculorum. You have ear hair of over 3cm in length. It can be used to tell the future, if burnt in the correct sort of vessel. You didn’t know that? Welcome to House Oraculorum! Members of this house take a joint vow of secrecy about the future and have a tendency to pass exams with top marks and make large lottery wins.
4. House Quotusal. You do not have any particularly unusual characteristics. You can sort of recognise yourself in most broad definitions of personality types. You have no particular loyalty to people who are just like you. You still need somewhere to sleep.
5. House Vellilarum. Mainly notable for having only one member at any one time, House Vellilarum is reserved for budding dark lords, criminal masterminds and/or lone psychopaths. Occasionally other people are sorted into House Vellilarum, but after a few days the House typically reverts to having one member again and a small hush bonus is paid to the cleaners.  
6.  House Beddagorg. Relatively few people know about House Beddagorg, because members rarely make it to classes. Those in House Beddagorg can typically be found in bed, which is their natural habitat and from which they are rather loath to be removed.
7. House Buggeroff. Did you ask to be sent to the sort of school that does sorting and dorms and suchlike? You most definitely did not. You’d rather be at the sort of school that you go home from and maybe go out to a gig in the evening or something.
8. House House. You are a house. Quite why you are interested in attending classes rather than hosting them is a bit of a mystery, but top marks for ambition. House house is often the biggest house, in terms of volume and mass at least.