sparked-fire

hey what about stevetony stone age/caveman au? with like homo sapiens tony and neanderthal steve?

tony escapes from his clan who are trying to make him a human sacrifice. led by high priest obadiah, they carve a sun symbol in his chest.

but tony escapes, and runs and runs and runs for days, and he’s exhausted and terrified and the carved wound in his chest is infected and throbbing and he finally collapses when his legs can’t hold him any longer.

when he drifts back into himself, he’s warm and comfortable, lying somewhere safe and dark with red fire-sparks dancing close by. there’s something padded neatly onto the chest wound, and it’s not burning and throbbing like before.

he tosses and shifts a little bit, and then there’s hands pushing him gently back down, an oddly low deep voice hushing him. tony blinks and squints and looks upward.

the stranger is so big, tony catches his breath in fear for a second. but the stranger puts out his hand and strokes tony’s arm, calming him. he has hair like honey and blue eyes, and his face looks different to tony’s tribe somehow, but kind. he goes on making those quiet hushing sounds, petting tony’s hair.

tony’s trembling all over, but the petting feels nice and he slowly melts, nestling into it. steve looks pleased, shifting so he’s curled protectively around tony’s body, and tony cuddles into his chest, deciding to trust this big kind stranger who’s taken him into his cave.

they fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms, sharing warmth, as the banked fire burns through the night.

(btw if you’re interested in the interactions between early homo sapiens and neanderthals, do a google search bcs it’s super interesting!)

(more ficlets under the ‘stevetony ficlet’ tag on my blog)

one word spells

As long as you can focus your energy and set your intention your spell should work, so I’ve designed these 5 spells using just one word for a Witch who needs a quick fix.

Mariquil

Pronounced mar-e-quil

Used to calm a temper or an upset person. From the latin word for sea, mare, and the english word tranquil. Essentially you are calling the sea inside them to be still. For better results cast with wet hands.

Univert

Pronounced Uni-var

Used for faster transport. I use it at the train station to have a shorter wait time but really its designed for traffic lights. By combining uni from universe and vert,the french word for green, you’re essentially asking the universe to make your path green.

Visididen

Pronounced Vis-e-did-en

Used to go unnoticed or invisible. Taken from the english words vision and hidden. For best results chant it softly while visualising yourself turning transparent.

Lapagna

Pronounced Lap-ag-na

Used when you just need someone to shut the f**k up but are too polite to say so. Taken from the Latin words lapis and magna, meaning stone and voice. For best results hold a stone or some earth while casting, if they’re really pissing you off just throw the stone or dirt at them.

Bavarignis

pronounced Bav-are-ig-ni

Used to strike up a conversation or to continue a conversation. Taken from the French word bavarder, which means chat, and the Latin word ignis, which means fire. Basically you’re asking for the conversation to spark or catch fire. For best results flick a lighter in your pocket or light a match.

Originally posted by lakefaerie

Official DOAB Tour set list/what happens

What happens:

• To begin, a countdown clock of ten mins is displayed on the screen
• The screen changes and Brendon comes out wearing the gold suit jacket and gold confetti is flustered everywhere
• A big moon is shown on the screen during Vegas Lights
Sparks are flying everywhere during Golden Days
• The stage opens, where Brendon is now seated on a grand piano playing Nine In The Afternoon
• While Miss. Jackson is playing, fire is being spewed from different areas of the stage
• Brendon is playing a spinning glittery piano for This Is Gospel
• After Gospel, and in the transition to Death Of A Bachelor and during so, Brendon is making his way through the audience hugging fans and taking selfies while singing and making his way back to the stage
• Brendon has now changed outfits to a black sparking suit
• Fire is used again for Emperor’s New Clothes
• Crazy = Genius involves fire as well
• Brendon is now drumming to Bruno Mars and Rihanna
• During G/G/B, pride icons/flags are being shown on the screen
• During the Rhapsody, Kenny jumps on the piano for his solo
Fire is used again for Victorious
White and gold confetti is dropped everywhere
• The boys bow to House of Memories

—–


Set list:

1. Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time
2. LA Devotee
3. Ready To Go
[jazzy funk intermission]
4. Golden Days
5. Vegas Lights
6. The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage
7. Camisado
8. But It’s Better When We Do
(AFYCSO Medley now with Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks)
9. Hallelujah
10. Nine In The Afternoon
11. Miss. Jackson
[transition where pete wentz (he’s not there, it’s a video shown on the screen) electrocutes brendon]
12. This Is Gospel
13. Death Of A Bachelor
14. The Ballad Of Mona Lisa
15. Cover of Billy Joel’s ‘Movin’ Out’
16. Emperor’s New Clothes
17. Nicotine
18. Crazy = Genius
19. Let’s Kill Tonight
20. Drum cover of Bruno Mars’ ‘24K Magic’ and Rihanna’s ‘Bitch Better Have My Money’
21. Girls/Girls/Boys
22. Cover of Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’
23. I Write Sins Not Tragedies
24. Victorious
[closing speech // end]


other useful facts:
–> the house of memories opens at around 5pm. this gives you at least 2-4 hours there for everyone (around 100 people) to take pictures, explore and meet people
–> the countdown timer starts at 20:50pm wherever you are. after that timer, they officially start the show at 9pm. i advise finding your seat at around 8pm to get comfortable. this leaves you lots of time to buy merch beforehand
–> the concert lasts about an hour

“Your boyfriend isn’t here,” Nicky says, almost facetious. Neil assumes he’s referring to the fact that Neil is rarely in their room until the late evening; after classes he and Andrew tend to spend the most time alone. But that’s not the issue Neil takes with Nicky’s statement.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” he says, and walks to his desk to start assembling his books.

“Oh man, I’m sick of this,” Nicky says, dramatically rolling his eyes. “I’ve heard Andrew say he hates you, or say you’re ‘nothing’ or whatever, and we all know it’s bullshit.”

Neil almost smiles. “It’s not a lie.”

“Okay, sure, whatever. What would you call it, then? Partners in crime?”

Neil shrugs. He’s never had to find a word or phrase for what Andrew is to him. It doesn’t matter.

“Oh, come on, even you have to admit that’s ridiculous. He’s your boyfriend. It’s simple.”

“He’s not my anything,” Neil replies. Andrew doesn’t belong to him.

“Tell me,” Nicky pushes. “If he’s not your boyfriend, what is he?”

Nicky is going to continue pushing it, Neil knows. The best way to get him to stop is to give him an answer, though Neil also knows that giving an answer Nicky doesn’t like is just as likely to keep the conversation going. So Neil thinks.

There’s no title Neil can give Andrew that would be right. Boyfriend is juvenile, partner is almost too serious, significant other is a mouthful and altogether too formal; and all come with the issue that it would make Andrew into some type of belonging.

And besides, how could all Andrew is be confined to a single word? He’s home, he’s safety, he’s stability. He’s everything Neil never knew he needed and the comfort Neil never thought he’d get to feel. He’s warmth and fire and sparks. There is no word for the multitudes that make Andrew: the intelligence, the strength, the humour; his jagged edges and sharp eyes. 

Well, there is one word. “He’s Andrew,” Neil says simply, because that is, and always will be, enough.

quick note on fire safety 🔥

i know a lot of my spells involve a candle or something so i just wanted to review general fire safety with y’all (from ur friendly neighborhood fire-certified girl scout)

trying to avoid shit like this:

standard prep:

  • tie any hair back! hair burns very quickly
  • wear non-dangly attire. pull/tie back any droopy sleeves or similar. you need a clear view of the fire and to not put yourself in danger by being near it
  • have something to douse matches in immediately, like a cup of water or sand. don’t set blown-out matches down on flammable surfaces. 
  • vents! if you’re inside and lighting the equivalent to birthday candles, ventilation is not as large an issue, and sometimes can cause larger issues. however, burning large items is best done outside in a fire pit of sorts. do not burn chemicals, plastics, or unknown mixtures inside. 
  • dousing method: water, sand, appropriate level fire extinguisher. differently fueled fires require different methods of being put out, or it could cause a larger fire. 
  • contain the fire in a sandpit, rock circle, metal plate, etc. the immediate area needs to be non-flammable. 

things to note:

depending on the humidity level outside and the daily fire danger levels in your area, sparks that fly out of the fire can be possibly dangerous, especially in dry forested areas, and when the danger level is high. that being said, sparks flying from fires indoors are also an issue. so while ventilation is important, you don’t want to have wind spreading the fire, or sending things into the flame.

avoid burning oils if you have little fire experience, as putting an oil-based fire out with water will not put it out, but make it worse. 

if you are not confident in your ability to react and put out or handle a fire, please do not light any. please find a fire alternative for your spells, such as fire elementals like pepper, carnelian, red ink, or an led candle. 

happy casting!

elements

the fire signs spark and kindle new fires and energies. their energy starts new creations and begins new adventures. aries sparks, leo creates, sagittarius processes. fire warms and initiates

the earth signs stabilize and keep your feet on the ground. they give you some ground to fall back on, some earth to hold on to. taurus calms, virgo soothes, capricorn motivates. earth calms and steadies

the air signs originate new ideas and revolutions. the air swirls in their ever changing thoughts, pushing new in and the old out. gemini thinks, libra compels, aquarius moves. air changes and rises

the water signs flow and merge together. their emotional waves are pulled into a sensitive current, swirling into compassion. cancer understands, scorpio empathizes, pisces feels. water moves and responds

All Too Well (M) | Pt. 6

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Epilogue

Summary: You and Yoongi shared a loving relationship with one another until you both agreed to end things and pursue your separate careers. But two years later, Yoongi is a member of the ever growing Bangtan Boys, and you are a new makeup artist for their upcoming tour.
Pairing: Yoongi | Reader
Genre: Fluff/Angst/Smut; Idol & Makeup Artist AU
Word Count: 7,692
Author’s Note: Now, I don’t want to give away too much of this chapter right off the bat, but I’m giving this chapter an ‘M’ rating for a reason.

.

A lot of things have changed in the past 2 years—you are the last person who would ever try to deny that.

For instance, you don’t know if Yoongi still likes caramel macchiato with his two shots of espresso, or if he still reaches out to cling for the nearest source of warmth while remaining on the brink of unconsciousness, or even if music is still the most important thing in his life. You don’t know if he can still record the lyrics floating around in his mind as easily as gathering strings of cotton candy, or if he hides his emotions underneath miles and miles of apathy. There’s a lot of things you no longer know about Yoongi. You’ve changed a lot in 2 years and it would be foolish and naive to assume that Yoongi had not.

But there’s one thing you know has not changed over the course of that time, and that was how naturally you could fold yourself into Yoongi’s touch, how his lips could still light all the nerves underneath your skin like fire, sparking you into life, and how readily you could feel yourself responding to him.

When Yoongi dives back into for another kiss, one that contains just as much passion, anger, remorse, and desperation as the first one, you can’t deny on returning the gesture with equal frenzy. He still does good in making your mind spin like a top, your sense of gravity severely distorted as you feel like you might topple over if you don’t grip onto the closest thing that just so happens to be the fabric of Yoongi’s t-shirt. The material is soft in between your fingers, clenching it to pull him closer and he doesn’t protest. The kiss is hard, teeth and tongue and shallow breathing as Yoongi grips the edges of the makeup counter behind you as a means to cage you in and keep himself grounded.

Keep reading

The Origins of Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein”

In 1815, the eruption of Mount Tambora plunged parts of the world into darkness and marked a gloomy period that came to be known as The Year Without a Summer. So when Mary and Percy Shelley arrived at the House of Lord Byron on Lake Geneva, their vacation was mostly spent indoors. For amusement, Byron proposed a challenge to his literary companions: Who could write the most chilling ghost story? This sparked an idea in 18-year-old Mary. Over the next few months, she would craft the story of Frankenstein.

Popular depictions may evoke a green and groaning figure, but that’s not Mary Shelley’s monster. In fact, in the book, Frankenstein refers to the nameless monster’s maker, Dr. Victor Frankenstein. So tense is the struggle between creator and creature that the two have merged in our collective imagination.

The book traces Dr. Frankenstein’s futile quest to impart and sustain life. He constructs his monster part by part from dead matter and electrifies it into conscious being. Upon completing the experiment, however, he’s horrified at the result and flees. But time and space aren’t enough to banish the abandoned monster, and the plot turns on a chilling chase between the two.

Shelley subtitled her fireside ghost story, “The Modern Prometheus.” That’s in reference to the Greek myth of the Titan Prometheus who stole fire from the gods and gave it to humanity. This gave humanity knowledge and power, but for tampering with the status quo, Prometheus was chained to a rock and eaten by vultures for eternity. Prometheus enjoyed a resurgence in the literature of the Romantic Period during the 18th century. Mary was a prominent Romantic, and shared the movement’s appreciation for nature, emotion, and the purity of art. The Romantics used these mythical references to signal the purity of the Ancient World in contrast to modernity. They typically regarded science with suspicion, and “Frankenstein” is one of the first cautionary tales about artificial intelligence. For Shelley, the terror was not supernatural, but born in a lab.

In addition, gothic devices infuse the text. The gothic genre is characterized by unease, eerie settings, the grotesque, and the fear of oblivion - all elements that can be seen in “Frankenstein.” But this horror had roots in personal trauma, as well. The text is filled with references to Shelley’s own circumstances. Born in 1797, Mary was the child of William Godwin and Mary Wollstonecraft. Both were radical intellectual figures, and her mother’s book, “A Vindication of the Rights of Women,” is a key feminist text. Tragically, she died as a result of complications from Mary’s birth. Mary was haunted by her mother’s death, and later experienced her own problems with childbirth. She became pregnant following her elopement with Percy at 16, but that baby died shortly after birth. Out of four more pregnancies, only one of their children survived. Some critics have linked this tragedy to the themes explored in “Frankenstein.” Shelley depicts birth as both creative and destructive, and the monster becomes a disfigured mirror of the natural cycle of life. 

The monster, therefore, embodies Dr. Frankenstein’s corruption of nature in the quest for glory. This constitutes his fatal flaw, or hamartia. His god complex is most clear in the line, “Life and death appear to me ideal bounds which I should first break through and pour a torrent of light onto our dark world.” Although he accomplishes something awe-inspiring, he has played with fire at his own ethical expense. And that decision echoes throughout the novel, which is full of references to fire and imagery that contrasts light and dark. These moments suggest not only the spark of Prometheus’s fire, but the power of radical ideas to expose darker areas of life.

From the TED-Ed Lesson Everything you need to know to read “Frankenstein” - Iseult Gillespie

Animation by Silvia Prietov

Stoned On You

A/N: Hiii. This is a collaboration with me and @minhosmeanhoe . We figured out  that we’re the same person with the same dirty mind and this was the outcome. This is the longest and most smut I’m sure either of us has ever written in our lives and I hope you guys love reading as much as we loved writing it ! The song that goes with this fic is Stoned On You by Jaymes Young

Warnings: smut; smoking (weed), drinking, mentions of violence, hair pulling; I’m sure there is more but idk rn

Word Count: 12,529

Keep reading

How to become a good student (again) 3: Yearn for friendship - not worship; not debasement

Hello, fellow ex-good student!

‘tis done! This beast just got longer and longer, so I decided to cut it down a bit for the sake of readability. But let me know if there’s something that was too vague - the nuance might have got lost in the editing process.

Alright, let’s get down to business (to defeat! The Huns!)! So, if you’re an ex-good student, I’m pretty sure that you know this static in your head, right? Whenever you really need to do something but you just can’t get up and do it, so you keep procrastinating even though you hate it and keep scrolling and scrolling or gaming and gaming and feel more and more guilty?

Well, it might not be the most immediate analogy, but for this post I want you to consider that what connects you and your subject of study is essentially a relationship and that this static is (among other things) an indicator of how screwed up your relationship is. Just like with real people, your relationships with subjects can either

  • prosper and bear fruit (me & Creative Writing)
  • become cold and distant (me & French)
  • or, worst of all, turn sour and actively harmful. (me & PE, back in school)

Now, nobody likes to hear that they’re relationship-ing wrong. And it is true that different approaches work for different people. But here are the counter-productive relationships that I’ve personally ended up in and I’m gonna show you how I got into and out of them, so you can try to do the same. Maybe it’ll help you lift that static from your head.

Side-Note: Always remember that, since your subjects are just that (subjects), and not real people, you are the only one who can actually mend these relationships and, conversely, you are the one who screwed them up in the first place (probably with good intentions, though).

So, we’ll take them in this order:

1) Overeager Debasement

2) Undereager Debasement

3) Worship


(Oh, and in case you wanna catch up:

Masterpost 

Part 1

Part 2)


1) Overeager Debasement

What is it?

The desire to do everything, perfectly, at the same time, right now. Not to limit yourself to just one field of study, but to master them all, to reign supreme above knowledge, to keep your mind wide open to new possibilities, similarities and contradictions.
You overvalue your own capacities and undervalue the needs and difficulties of your subject.
(also refer to the first post for this)

How did you get here?

(read picture from right to left)

So. Many. Possible. Reasons.

  • it’s a cage. The idea of doing just one thing for the rest of your life scares you and you feel imprisoned at the thought of it
  • you know that you could be outstanding if you applied yourself
  • you know that you could be even more outstanding if you became accomplished in multiple fields
  • you want to find connections between fields nobody’s ever considered before
  • you feel like you’ve wasted your last few years and need to catch up to others
  • you’re afraid that you’re not good enough
  • you’re afraid of being ignorant
  • you’re arrogant

No matter the reason (I’ve gone through them all), people caught in this state of mind shovel more and more onto their plate.
And then wonder why they can’t swallow it all.

What do you think you’re doing?

A labour of love, most likely. You think you love languages and sciences and athletics and programming and cooking and hanging out with friends and being alone and so you just want to do it all!
You don’t want to limit yourself! You don’t want to lose any time! But there’s just so much and you have so little energy and ugh, if only I wasn’t destined for greatness, then I could relax like other little people, but no, I need to keep pushing! In every! Direction! At the same! Time!

I know your delusion. I’ve been there. You imagine yourself to be that one perfect friend who gets up at 6am, watches the sun rise, does yoga, eats a healthy breakfast, goes for a quick run, comes back home, answers all correspondence, is artistic for a few hours, then scientific for a few hours, then social for a few hours and ends the day with tiny masterpieces in each area, goes out with friends or family to grab a healthy dinner and goes to sleep, happy and balanced :)

Well, you know what, my starry-eyed friend?

What are you actually doing?

You’re the mental equivalent of a social butterfly.
You’re being fucking disrespectful.

You’re always on the run and never able to really commit to anything, because you’ve already scheduled something else afterwards. You’re shallow, deluded, that one friend that always comes in running, screaming “Besties  ~ ♥” and everyone shifts uncomfortably in their seats and smiles a painful smile and humours you, because they know you mean well, but they also know that you know nothing about them. 
You’ve never been there for them ever, but always expect them to be there for you. Whenever they want to talk about themselves, you nod and then proceed to about yourself and your plans and “ohmygosh, this is so nice, we need to meet more often ~ ♥ “. But at least you mean well, so they’ve agreed to keep it simple and on the “The weather is nice today”-level with you. 

But here you are, wondering why you’re not making any progress.
Mysterious.

So what do I do?

Well, you need to go from this:

To this:

How? More on that below.


2) Undereager Debasement

What is it?

This stage is what happens when you notice that your lofty ideals from Overeager Debasement cannot be fulfilled. You turn bitter, hateful, cold. You think you’re a failure, you think you were too soft. Instead of wanting to be friends with everyone, you now want to rule over everyone, fuck what they want.

You’re burnt out. You’re done. You just want to get through these stupid classes and catch a goddamn break, goddamnit.

And you WILL get through. You’re too proud to do anything else. But you don’t really care about any of it.
You just want to make it.

How did you get here?

If you were a good student, you probably heard at some point or another that you were “different” and that your complex and mysterious ways were not understandable and definitely not achievable for your average classmate.

Most people who tell you this mean well. A few want to make fun of you, but most actually do mean it as a compliment. But they don’t know how dangerous it is to hear it again and again, because regardless of whether it’s true or not, you start to believe it.
You start to believe that somehow, you have a higher calling, a higher standard. And you start to long for that day when your high standards will be met - when you will go to that one mysterious class where everyone is just as eager as you are, where the “Oh, captain, my captain!”-teacher will spark a fire in your brain that will never go out and when your ominous “gifts” can finally be put to good use for the prosperous future of mankind.


And you work.

And work.

And the class never comes.

You feel the weight on your shoulders when teachers talk of “high expectations”, you feel it crush you a little bit every time your friends tease you about your genuine fear that you might not get an A, that you might lose it all, that your “gifts” could disappear and you’ll be stranded and useless and you put in the hours, you work your ass off to keep that high standard, all in the hope of having that one miraculous class that never comes.

I realized that that class would never come when I entered university.

University, I’d told myself, would be my Arcadia, my Eden, my academic paradise where all my hard work would be rewarded!
Instead, I only found more drudgery, more incompetent professors, more disinterested students and even more bureacracy. To say that I was “disappointed” would be putting it very lightly.

I became disoriented and disenchanted. I realized that I could get through most classes with half-assed effort, I was hardly ever challenged, I floated along and hated every second of it. I blamed my boring teachers, the imperfect system, the teachers who had given me hope only for me to watch it crash and go up in flames.

What do you think you’re doing?

Being badass, cool and detached, most likely.

You dream of yourself as a master and your subjects as slaves. They bow to your will, they dance to your tune, you command them with the snap of a finger.

“Look, you slave of the system”, you say, lying on a velvet sofa, “Look, at how it hardly takes any effort for me to pass these classes! Look at how I spend my time doing things I actually like and that are actually worth it, unlike these stupidly easy classes taught by stupidly incompetent professors in a stupidly screwed-up system! Look at me, being edgy and drowning in self-hatred because I can physically feel myself gliding off the rails that made me so “special” and becoming one of the average people in the masses, haha. Ha. Ha. Screw academia, but still give me good grades, amirite?”

I know your delusion. I’ve been there. You imagine yourself to be that one perfect friend that never studies for classes, comes for three lectures per semester and still manages to get perfect grades because everything you do in school is, like, so five years ago. That one friend who has read all the classics in their spare time, has conquered and enslaved all the knowledge actually worth knowing, will quote obscure Polish philosophers you’ve never heard of and plays the piano with a perfect pitch. They’re the wisest, most culture-non-conforming people you know - they’ve been up until 5am, wandering the streets and drinking vodka from a bottle while forcefully pentrating the mysteries of the universe all by themselves until they finally fall asleep on a park bench and awake with an epiphany about Klein bottles.
They’re “special”.

What are you actually doing?

Caring more about appearing “special” than actually trying to be “special”, that’s what you’re doing.

But, look, what made you so “special” and “different” in the first place was not a “calling” or “gifts” or the fact that you wrote good grades and were destined for greatness.

Here’s a handy chart I’ll use later - you were lucky enough to fall into the green zone, lucky enough to be born with an innate respect and a love for learning. That’s what made you “special”. That’s what made you succeed. Not pressure, not warped ideals and certainly not the fear of failure.


But somewhere along the way you forgot that and only focussed on the results. You started to believe yourself to be so special that everybody else should cater to you.
The fancy titles, the awe-struck looks, the “You’re so amazing”s and the “The genius of a decade”, the planned Nobel prize speech and the prestige, the dream others had lovingly created for you and you had slowly absorbed and warped as your own? It got to you. Hell, it got to me.
And it became more important than learning itself.
Somewhere along the way, you and I, we became an arrogant and lazy assholes.

You looked down on your easy courses and homework and instead of recognising how lucky you are, doing it in a minute and a half and then putting in the extra work on top to dig deeper and to maybe contribute something of value and fun, you threw it aside with a snide remark as beneath you.
Of course it wasn’t fun. Of course it wasn’t challenging. You never even tried to make it either.

(And don’t get me wrong: I honestly do think that the education system as it is right now needs MAJOR reforms. But right now? It is what it is. And instead of making the best of it and doing what you once loved so much, you succumbed to societal pressures you found yourself unable to fulfill and said “meh”.
You cared so much about the fame and the title that the relationship itself didn’t matter.)

But this isn’t the master-slave relationship you imagine it to be.
It’s a trophy-friendship. Once upon a time, you got on really well with this person and other people loved your friendship. You fell in love with the ideal, with their connections, their money, their prestige, their name on a CV, and you stuck around just for that.
You valiantly ignore the reality of the state of things between you two
and take them out only when absolutely needed, only when things are this close to falling apart and so you keep walking a fine, fine line.
Whenever a deadline approaches, you shower them with attention and love and, gingerly, they open up to you and you see a depth and complexity to them that astounds you and makes you think “Imagine! Imagine how much more I could have seen if only I’d started earlier?”
But the moment the crisis has passed, you toss them aside once again.

Because this is enough to make your name.
You may not remember much about these nights or about the person at all, but the only thing that counts is that it will fulfill your “special” prophecy and make you a legend, right?

Well, always remember this:
(read picture from right to left)

You’re not “special” if you made it to university. You’re not “special” if you’ve made your name. 
It comes down to a simple choice: do you value appearances over integrity or the other way round? Do you dare to look like a fumbling idiot again when you start something new? Is the “appearing like an idiot”-part more important to you than the “learning/creating something new”-part? 
Have a think about it.

3) Worship

“Alright”, you’ll say, “Alright. I get it. So I’ll treat my “friends”/subjects with respect and integrity and I’ll take all the time and concentration I can bestow upon them, just as I would upon real friends. But do you want me to be like, uh - like…

What is it?

“…like one of those anime characters that lives only for their dream and gets up at like 6am, does the thing, talks about the thing, breathes the thing, goes to bed, dreams of the thing and then wakes up at 6am to do the thing?”

(Google: Did you mean Hinata Shouyou?

Yes, yes, I did, google.)

Well, no, I don’t want you to do that. See, that’s the other extreme and unless you’re an anime character, chances are that it won’t work out for you. 

How did you get here?

Personally, I was caught in this trap for a loooooong time. Anime offered me a new way of relating to my passions that neither my family nor my school had ever shown me: unabashed obsession.
I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to be obsessed. I wanted to give myself up to a higher ideal, something above human consciousness, something that would endure. I wanted to, well, get up at 6am, do the thing, talk about the thing, breathe the thing and so on - “the thing” in question being, of course, studying. I made elaborate plans, complicated lists, study-plans that shift on a daily basis and cover all grounds, I wanted to study for two hours before school, wanted to repeat lessons, wanted to give myself up to knowledge, made cool covers for my notebooks, made mock exams for my friends to use, planned to focus on each continent for a month and study it, planned to listen to one new composer each day, planned to go to the museum every week, planned to analyze Sherlock Holmes and think just like him, planned to - you get the idea.

I wanted to be like this:

What do you think you’re doing?

Being but a humble servant to the eternal workings of truth. Knowing thou art unworthy, yet suffering the perfection of study.

I wanted to go from 0 to 100, I wanted knowledge and wisdom to transform and deliver me, I wanted to feel enlightened, I wanted to feel my brain burning, pushing frontiers and breaking through to new horizons, I wanted to elevate myself to touch even the lowest levels of truth.
I wanted to do something noble, something worthwhile, something that could never be critisized and would always be valued, something with eternal meaning that would echo through the ages and I wanted to be even the tiniest cog in the machinery of mind.

What are you actually doing?

Being, quite simply, an idiot.

This is one of my favourite quotes (David Wong):

“There are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.” 

The same goes for studying. As shown above, studying won’t work out if you do not treat your subjects with respect. Conversely, studying also won’t work if you continue to idolize it as work beyond all work and reproach, as the only true calling, as the realm of the genii and by self-flagellating yourself and repeating “I’m but a humble servant in your kingdom of reason and will never reach where you are, but will spend all my time trying to reach you.” 

Why? Because by saying “I’ll never reach you or be worthy of you”, you’ve already sealed your fate. Some students (no matter how well they actually perform) are stuck thinking that they are stupid and incapable of doing well. Others think that the trick is in the preparation and they undergo complicated rituals of finding exactly the right study spot, exactly the right study drink, exactly the right study time, etc. in the hope of channeling the connection between their godly subject and themselves, but it never turns out quite as glamorous as they’d hoped (once again, speaking from experience).

This is because you cannot force a true friendship if you think yourself unworthy of it. It will always be worship. 

And why are you worshipping?
Because it takes the pressure right off of you
. This always annoyed me about some of my fellow students. They treated becoming a good student as this miraculous and unlikely event that only happens to the #blessed.
I insisted that “no”, it could be done. “Yes”, it was hard work, but ultimately absolutely doable. But now that I’ve been in their shoes? I understand.
Admitting that you could have done it anytime implies failure on your part for not having done it. By saying “Oh no, it is so very complex and divine and a lowly worm like me could never hope to crawl in its shadows”, you shift the focus away from yourself and onto the thing itself. 

But this is a synthetic, manufactured relationship with a partner that does not even exist. It is, at its heart, a kyaa  ~ I hope senpai notices me! (๑♡⌓♡๑) - kind of relationship. It’s idolizing not a person’s true character, but their appearance, their aesthetic and the values that they represent for you. It’s not really listening to what they’re saying, but warping their words so they fit into your perfect idea of them.
Just, unlike with undereage debasement, you do not play pretend that everything’s fine and secretly hate the other person deep down - you honestly idolize them to heaven and back, so you could never possible reach them.
You’re using them to fill in the holes in your own personality.

And that … just isn’t fun? I dunno about you, but treating studying as something that must be done perfectly with exactly the right pen and the perfect face-mask after the right smoothie and in the right lighting by a window overgrown with ivy and with perfect concentration from the first moment and unwavering, knightly passion and exact planning from 6am to bedtime all because I know deep down that I will not be able to fulfill these ideals and thus don’t have to feel bad about not reaching them just … isn’t for me. I don’t like my relationships to be all overstructured and “perfect” and high maintenance like that.

I want my friendships and my studying to be authentic. And that means that sometimes it’s messy and sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it’s quoting Keats while lying on the floor at 2am in the morning and chugging milk out of a carton, but it’s real.
I truly do understand this longing to make studying look pretty and like a magical realm, because when you’re in the flow that’s really what it feels like. But the beauty comes along with the practice, not the other way round.

No, but honestly - what do I DO then?


Y’remember Hippogriffs from Harry Potter? That’s how I imagine my subjects. Approach them carefully, honestly, maintaining eye contact and as equals and they will respect you. This scene:

This scene is what I’m talking about. 
If you were in a worship-state, you would only admire them from afar, gushing over how beautiful they are, but sad that they would never deign to even look in your general direction. (think of all the subjects you thought would be way too difficult for you)
If you were in a debasement-state, you’d either try to make friends with all the hippogriffs, hopping from one to the other and forming no bond with either or you’d “tsk” disdainfully and try to force them to obey you against their will. (*cough* Malfoy *cough*)

If, however, you’re in the green, there will be mutual respect between you and you will be able to fly.

So what does it mean to be in the green? 
It means not to do any of the above, obviously, so 

  • take your time for and invest brainpower into each and every one of your subjects - be a good friend. Be there. Listen. Even if they have crazy ideas at 4am in the morning. 
  • appreciate your subjects and know that they are more than the teacher who tries to get you to know them. Sometimes, some people just have a really shitty PR department (especially maths)
  • don’t think too much or too little of yourself. You can do amazing things, but that does not give you the license not to do amazing things anymore, rest on your laurels and expect others to applaud you for it. 

  • some relationships take longer than others to build, but getting to understand someone who puzzled you from the first moment and challenged your beliefs will improve your own personality as well
    (side-eye at PE. Yes, I love you now, you crazy athletic bastard)
  • do it for the sake of the relationship itself, because you enjoy their company. Results are presents which, although very much appreciated, should not be the main motivator to keep you going.
    This essentially means that you should think of studying as hanging out with a friend - already makes it seem so much more inviting and way less daunting, does it not?

    (Logic and I, being saltmates. Real friends judge other people together)
  • be aware that all friendships go through rocky patches and some subjects might take a while to warm up to you or you to them. But if you think that it’s worth it, then you gotta power through that. If you don’t think it’s worth it, you gotta be brave enough to say good-bye. 


Look, what I’m actually saying is … be Souma Yukihira from Food Wars.

Food Wars is a crazy and at times pretty pervy manga/anime, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t also one of the best pieces of fiction I’ve ever consumed and if Souma isn’t one of the most admirable main characters I’ve ever encountered.  

The relationship between him and cooking is filled with trust, love and equality. He trusts his cooking skills, because he knows that they have spent a long time together - cooking won’t let him down and he won’t ever let cooking down by stopping to look for ways to improve.

That doesn’t mean, however, that he’s always deadly serious - he loves to play around with cooking and to try ridiculous new things. He never forgets the joy that even the simplest form of cooking brings him. 

There’s one great episode where he puts his life as a chef on the line and someone fearfully asks him what he’d do if he lost. He shrugs and says he could become a lawyer or a teacher or something. So while he loves cooking profoundly, he does not worship it and he knows that there are other relationships he could build up if he had to. He just …doesn’t want to, because cooking is his bff. 

He loves to take on challenges to see how far he and cooking have come -

- and he takes challenges very seriously -


- but takes it even more seriously if he loses -

- and nonetheless knows that they are stronger for the challenges they have faced together. 

So, yes, this is what it means to be in the green. Cherish your friendships, hang out together, be honest, funny, clever, curious and you. 

You’ll be surprised at how much fun the two of you will have, now that all the pretensions and pressures are gone. 

Just …hang out and have fun.

(and maybe watch Food Wars!, because damn, Souma is the MVP of my inspirational heroes)

Have a great day and I’ll see you in the next (and hopefully shorter) part 4 :)

Birthday Boy

PAIRING: Peter Parker x Reader (Female)

(ANONYMOUS) REQUEST PROMPT: Could you write a Peter Parker imagine where it’s Peter’s birthday and his girlfriend (the reader) can’t keep her hands off of him and just gives him lots of kisses? Thanks:)

WRITTEN BY: @spiderlingy / Krystal W.

WARNINGS: Extreme cuteness and fluff overload.

WORD COUNT: 1,572

PLEASE DO NOT PLAGIARIZE OR CLAIM THIS STORY AS YOUR OWN. REBLOGS ARE ALLOWED. REQUESTS ARE STILL OPENED. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TAGGED IN MY UPCOMING POSTS, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE IN MY PRIVATE INBOX.

MASTERLIST


     “Happy Birthday, Parker.” you whispered from behind Peter’s ear, causing him to turn around from his school locker to face you with a radiant smile. You rose onto your toes to leave a red-lipstick print on his cheek, soon satisfied with his giggles.

     You brought the bouquet of lavish roses that were hidden from behind your back. “These are for you, birthday boy.

     Peter reached for the bouquet in your hands and brought it to his face, the heavy fragrant scent filling his nostrils.

Keep reading

Wrong Loves My Company Pt 6 (NSFW 18+)

A/N: I don’t have much to say on this one except THANK YOU to @writing-obrien per usual. She helped me soooo much with this one, because contrary to popular belief, I suck at writing smut.

Warning: SMUTTTTTTTTTTT.

Word Count: 4526

Parts 1-5 [Here]

Originally posted by belle333black

Keep reading