spanish-inquisition

what i really want from lucifer is luci inadvertently bonding with trixie bc this smol child has adopted him as her weird uncle like:

  • trixie inviting lucifer to tea parties and lucifer being too polite to decline
  • (“there’s no tea in these cups, child, are you quite sure your mother didn’t drop you”)
  • chloe interrupting truly horrifying games of make-believe like “the teddy bears have finally decided to exact their revenge against the barbies using a little technique from the spanish inquisition known as strappado. you humans invented that one all on your own, did you know? it’s delightful.”
  • lucifer helping trixie with her homework????
  • (“i can’t believe they expect you to learn anything reading this drivel, why would the tree let the boy chop her down like that, it’s absurd, she should’ve strangled him with her vines when she had the chance. what rubbish. have you read bulgakov?”)
  • trixie teaching lucifer SCIENCE and the two of them making lightbulbs out of potatoes (”I AM THE LIGHTBRINGER”) and setting off baking soda rockets
  • (chloe like “i shouldn’t be surprised you two get along so well, actually, since you have the maturity of an seven year old”)
  • lucifer being weirdly appreciative of lilo & stitch
  • lucifer trying to teach trixie how to play the piano!!!!!!!!
  • trixie wanting a puppy and lucifer maybe trying to give her an actual hellhound
  • “i cannot BELIEVE you slept with our lead suspect what were you THINKING” “mommy are you mad at lucifer because he likes boys, because it’s okay for boys to like boys, lucas p. has two moms and they’re really good at making snacks, and mrs. m says you need lots of different colors to make a rainbow” and chloe gritting her teeth and sighing and explaining that she’s not mad at lucifer for that, of course it’s okay he likes boys, she’s mad that he, uh, made friends with this particular boy, thanks a lot lucifer
  • lucifer being weirdly overprotective over this small child that he definitely doesn’t care about, nope, not at all
  • lucifer accidentally learning about humanity and family and kindness from the decker girls despite his best efforts
  • trixie asking lucifer to pinky-swear that he will take care of her mom while she’s out fighting crime, and his word is his bond
  • trixie bringing lucifer to show-and-tell like “this is my friend lucifer he plays the piano he solves crimes with my mom he’s really funny he likes cake and he’s from hell”
  • “a boy and his dog”, or a girl and her prince of darkness, lord of flies, ruler of hell, the adversary, etc etc

The Jews of Yemen have lived in that region for twenty-five hundred years. Just decades ago, their population was around sixty thousand, and today, only about ninety Jews remain in Yemen.

But apparently, ninety Jews in a country of 25 million people is ninety too many for Yemen, and now these last remaining Jews of a lineage stretching back millennia are faced with the ultimatum of either throwing off their Jewishness or fleeing to a country they have never known.

And much like in the time of the Spanish Inquisition, a third option lingers: death.

1492 Was One of the Worst Years in Jewish History

Columbus Day is coming up, which i don’t think anyone should celebrate for reasons that have nothing to do with Judaism and everything to do with the fact that he was one of history’s great monsters. However, the anniversary of his voyage does serve as a moment to consider the country of Spain, which sponsored Columbus, and its treatment of Jews. 

1492 was the year that King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella passed the Alhambra Decree that all non-Catholics must either convert, leave the country, or die. Oh, and they had to leave behind all their gold, silver and money when they left. This decree effectively ended Jewish and Muslim life in Spain for centuries. Jewish converts or conversos were still stigmatized, marginalized and were frequently tested for their sincerity by the Spanish inquisition. This “test” could only be described as torture and if they didn’t pass they were burned at the stake. 

Many Jews remained “secret Jews,” passing along certain Jewish practices like lighting candles on Friday evening to their children. Many people discovered generations later that their family traditions signified that they were descended from the conversos. Some estimate that as many as 20% of people in Spain are descendants of conversos

The Alhambra Decree wasn’t revoked until 1968.

An interesting note is that, as reparations for the Inquisition and the Alhambra Decree, as of 2012, Sephardic Jews have right of return to Spain.

Spanish Donkey

Out of all medieval torture devices, this is probably one of the most gruesome and excruciating. The victim is stripped naked and made to straddle this equine-like apparatus, which is constructed of a vertical wooden board with a sharp wedge on top of it. After that, the torturer would add weights to the victim’s feet, making them heavier each time, until the wedge sliced all the way through the victim’s body.