When Toho first released Godzilla on DVD in 2001, one of the bonus features was a “music and effects” track, allowing you to view the film without dialogue. Why include such an option? I have no idea, but here’s one answer: it makes Godzilla extremely easy to redub. Not that it ever had much of an English dub: Godzilla, King of the Monsters! opted to keep much of the Japanese dialogue untranslated; I believe there’s only around six minutes of voice acting in the film. So this is very much uncharted territory.
Well, at least for humans. Back in 2014, @spacehunter-m wrote a complete English script for Godzilla and “performed” it with an army of text-to-speech generators. With his blessing, I’m using that script as a basis for my own effort, to be performed by… well, you.
When I said redubbing Godzilla would be easy, I meant from an editing standpoint. This is a movie with about 63 speaking parts, plus a ton of screaming extras. That doesn’t mean I need 63-plus participants, but the more vocal variety I have at my disposal, the better.
My rewrite isn’t close to being done, but recording sessions will begin next Thursday at G-Fest. I’ve cast most of the main characters already (with the major exception of Emiko); the idea is to work with people who don’t have the tech to send me their lines remotely and to get as many bit parts and crowd scenes done as possible.
Of course, you’re quite welcome to take part in this mad endeavor if you’re not going to G-Fest; just shoot me an ask and we can try to work something out. If you are going to G-Fest, my DMs will be open from Thursday to Sunday. Bear in mind that this is not a parody; I’m sticking fairly close to Criterion’s translation. Think of it as an international dub for the first piece of Japanese pop culture that went global.
Back in 2013, when we didn’t know anything about Godzilla besides the cast, I made a fake trailer for it. My editing skills have improved quite a bit since then, so I decided to take a crack at the sequel. This time, I had some help from @ultramanultimo, who animated the Godzilla model seen in the thumbnail.
You have to hand it to Mill Creek Entertainment for shamelessly cashing in on the popularity of Stranger Things with the dubiously-named Strange Things collection. Due out on January 10, the set crams11 sci-fi/horror movies from the ‘80s onto three DVDs.
The line-up includes: The Pulse (1988), Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983), Krull (1983), My Mom’s a Werewolf (1989), The Hearse (1980), Lurkers (1988), Slipstream (1989), Mutant (1984), Death Warmed Up (1984), Alien Contamination (1981), and Eternal Evil (1985).
The controversial theory spread throughout the fandom like wildfire. Could Godzilla vs. Biollante and Seinfeld take place within the same canon? Sure it was possible, but we needed more evidence. Thus began the massive search for any clues or connections. Fans scoured the unending backwaters of the internet until, at long last, a few screenshots emerged. Thesetwo were uncovered by @spacehunter-m and @raffleupagus respectively:
This was it: the proof we needed! Kazuki Omori originally wrote and directed Godzilla vs. Biollante as an episode of the then upcoming TV series Seinfeld! It was originally going to be released by New World Pictures as a direct sequel to their production of Godzilla 1985, but the American distribution rights were sold to HBO after Shogo Tomiyama lost a poker game with his executive friends. By the time it was going to be released in the states, Seinfeld was then under the jurisdiction of NBC. After several weeks of intense business dealings, NBC, Toho, and HBO failed to come to an agreement of who controlled what assets of the film. Ultimately, Toho decided to release an edited version of the film that removed all mentions of the characters and branding of Seinfeld in 1989. Three years later, HBO released an English dub of that version, and the original Seinfeld-filled edit of Godzilla vs. Biollante was lost to time.
This shocking news took the fandom by storm. Many of us pestered Jerry Seinfeld himself on twitter about the events. When asked if it’s events were still canon within the Seinfeld universe, he replied with a single, yet earth-shattering, “Yes.”
So there you have it! The classic Heisei kaiju film Godzilla vs. Biollante is actually an episode of the beloved NBC sitcom Seinfeld. Hope that answered your questions @herr-kroenen and anon!