Soulmate vs Soul Mate

So, I was in work today cleaning our little Spaceform tokens (little collectable glass tokens with pictures and phrases on.), and I was admiring all the lovey dovey ones that say various things including “love you” “gorgeous” “kiss me” there’s even a “marry me” one! (not that I would reccommend it as a way to propose.) Then one which read “Soulmate” got me to thinking; what does that actually mean?

Well for me what automatically springs to mind is that whole concept of an incomplete soul that is only whole once you’ve found your “other half” as it were. Absolute claptrap as far as I’m concerned. My soul feels pretty damn complete to me; I mean I’ve managed to get this far, besides if I never find my soulmate (or at least that definition of), it’s a pretty sad thought that I’ll never be truly complete. Bollocks to that!

The other possible definition that sprang to mind was that of the soul mate; or only mate. Now this makes far more sense, it’s not romantic really in the slightest; just a statement of fact. Anyone you’re in a monogamous relationship with is your soul mate; they’re the only one you’re currently “mating” with after all. Far more logical and something I could perhaps agree with.

So while that now makes perfect sense, I hardly think that the little glass token was stating the fact to its recipient that “yes, I’m sleeping only with you. Congratulations; aren’t you lucky?” while yes that is reassuring it’s hardly as romantic as the little red heart on the token would suggest. I still; however, do not agree with this daft incomplete soul notion, so I have done a bit of research to see if I can’t find a definition I would agree with.

according to wikipedia “In his dialogue The Symposium, Plato has Aristophanes present a story about soulmates. Aristophanes states that humans originally had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them.” -okay…no. I don’t agree with the incomplete soul and I certainly am not buying into this. Quite happy with two arms, two legs and one face ta very much.

So I read on and apparently; “In modern usage, Jewish singles will say that they are looking for their bashert, meaning they are looking for that person who will complement them perfectly, and whom they will complement perfectly. Since it considered to have been foreordained by God whom one will marry, one’s spouse is considered to be one’s bashert by definition, independent of whether the couple’s marital life works out well or not.” I can agree with the idea of someone complimenting them perfectly. That’s a nice thought; someone you can learn from as well as teach; someone with whom you are similar but also different enough to not drive eachother insane… but then they lost me on the “foreordained by God.” Now I’m not an Athiest, I am Agnostic; I’ve not had a religious upbringing but I’m not in anyway ruling out the posibility that I might be swayed by a religion, but foreordained by God? Don’t like that one bit; don’t I have some choice in the matter? I’d like to think I do.

Wiki; as unbiased as ever (haha how we lol!), gives us this: “A soulmate (or soul mate) is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul, which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate. In New Age spirituality, the ultimate soulmate is the one and only other half of one’s soul. However, not everyone who uses these terms intends them to carry such mystical connotations” Well thanks wiki for clearing that up -_-; Though I must say, right up until the “twin flame” notion, I can completely agree.

So for me I don’t think either Soulmate or Soul mate wins out over all. If anyone is going to be my soul mate; for life (and I don’t intend that to sound like a sentence), They are going to have to be my soulmate; someone I feel that “natural affinity” with, someone I am magnetised to in every way, who I can be away from and function independantly of but together we are that much stronger (like magnets). That is the only way, I think, I would be comfortable giving someone that little glass token with the word “soulmate” on.

but on saying that, my “soulmate” would likely not appreciate it anyway; what with it’s poncey connotations! That is of course unless their definition was the same as mine.