space jerk

Celebrity Pretend Relationship AU: Three Arguments

Their first fight is about craft services. He takes the last of the hot water that she wanted for tea, and she chases him down to give him lecture about the importance of her cuppa. He gives her an odd look, squeezing lemon–and just lemon!–into the styrofoam cup, like he’s taunting her.

“They can boil more water for you,” he says evenly. 

“That’s not the point,” she huffs, put off by his lack of anger at her confrontation.

Cassian leans in, closing in on her personal space, and he almost jerks away until she remembers there are eyes on her. “Remember, we’re supposed to be pretending to fall in love on set,” he says. “This doesn’t look good.” 

She grits back, “It’s a enemies to lovers thing then. People love that shit.”

He pulls back, but then reaches out and caresses her face, leaving her reeling in surprise. “If that’s how you want to play it.”

She finds a Starbucks instead and sucks down a skinny vanilla latte, still fuming, her cheeks still burning.


The second time they butt heads is off set.

“You lied to me!” she says at the entrance of his house in the Hills.  

“You’re drunk,” he says tiredly, rubbing his eyes. “I’ve seen this before.” But she’s not drunk, and he knows that.

They’ve been fake dating for three weeks now, except it would seem that Cassian forgot about that part and was photographed kissing another woman during a hike earlier this afternoon.

“When you said to Bodhi that you couldn’t do join me for this charity drive this afternoon because you were feeling ill, you were, in fact, making out with yet another twenty-five year old at a dog park!” 

“I was getting some air. I ran into an old girlfriend.”

“And found her tongue in your mouth?”

Even the crickets grow quiet at the pitch of Jyn’s anger. 

“Are you jealous?” he asks incredulously, and sees her face shift from rage to shock to disdain.

“You humiliated me,” she says. “It doesn’t matter that this is fake. It’s real to everyone else. And when this gets into the tabloids, it’ll humiliate me again and again until this contract is over.”

“Come inside,” he tells her. “If we’re going to do this, let’s not draw more attention to it.”

She’s still furious, but she walks into his house.

“The event was important to me, Cassian. And you being there could have given it a lot more attention. And instead, all people are going to talk about when they talk about me tomorrow is not the charity work that I do, but that my fake boyfriend cheated on me.”

He hangs his head because he was in the wrong. “I’m sorry, Jyn.” 

But she’s still burning, her green eyes almost black with rage.

“How do I make this up to you?’ He’s thinking maybe another charity event to make up for this, maybe dinner, a show of outward affection that can be leaked to the press–maybe her trailer full of flowers, but she surprises him again.

“Don’t think you can just talk your way out of this,” she says, and she leaves, slamming the door shut behind her.


The third time they get into a fight, he’s the one who’s angry.

They’re in the middle of an intense scene, one of the most intense in the movie, and the room they are in is intimate and small. Their characters–Laura and Javier, are in the middle of an argument, and the tension between them is high. On the fifth take, when Javier is jabbing his finger into Laura’s chest, screaming, Jyn goes rogue and flies off script. She makes Laura push Cassian’s Javier into a wall, and just when Cassian is trying to get back on script and roll with the punches, he feels her hands slide up his back under his shirt and her mouth hot and wet against his. She pulls away then, eyes gleaming, then continues with her lines as though nothing was different from the previous four times they had done this scene.

Draven’s cut sends Cassian into a fury, and he drags her by the arm off the set for a talk.

“What the hell was that?”

She smirks at him. “I was improvising. Draven said I should go with it if I found something I thought might work.” Jyn throws a look back at their director who apparently was happy with the take. “He said he hired me because I was good at that kind of thing. Seems like he was right.”

“That was unprofessional of you, Jyn!” Cassian seethes.

“Mr. By-the-Book angry?” she says, taunting him about his reputation for perfectionism on the set, for being stringent in his interpretation of his roles.

“If you want to improvise, you talk to me first! You don’t just do it!” 

“Don’t be such a stick in the mud, Cassian. It tarnishes your playboy reputation.” She says it with an edge, and he wonders if this is revenge for the way he had embarrassed her weeks ago. 

“I’ve been in this industry since I was six years old,” he says. “Don’t think I don’t know how to do my job.” When she tries to leave, he turns heel and blocks her way. “You want to try something different, just talk to me next time.

“Would you have agreed with what I did?” she says boldly, and she hits on something.

“No,” he says, but not for the reason you think.

“Oh, this should be rich.”

“I don’t like how you played that scene because I don’t like the idea of violence being … sexy like that. You sell the idea that fights like these are foreplay and it sends a bad message. I don’t want that normalized. I don’t think it’s a good choice, even if it feels like it might be for that scene or for those characters. It feels irresponsible. It’s not the kind of movie I want to make.”

Cassian watches Jyn’s face, expecting more anger that he questioned her choices, but there’s something soft that flits across her expression and in the way she blinks at him rapidly. The way she looks at him makes his chest suddenly feel tight, and he takes a step back and takes a breath. 

“Ok,” she says, nodding more to herself than to him. “I’m … glad you explained yourself.” She looks up. “And I’m sorry. Let’s me talk to Draven. We’ll shoot the scene again.” She walks off then, determination in each step.

He watches her go, anger turning to confusion turning to respect, then turning to something new that he can’t quite name yet, something slow and warm, something that he feels like has been creeping up on him so gradually that it had itself wrapped around his heart before he even realized it was already there.

Classic Movies You Need To Watch

Here’s my Classic Movies Pick From 39′s to 79′s, Here goes:

Gone With The Wind (1939)

Ben-Hur (1959)

Breakfats At Tiffany’s (1961)

Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

To Kill A Mockingbird (1962)

The Sound of Music (1965)

The Graduate (1967)

2001: A Space Oddysey (1968)

The Godfather Trilogy (1972)

The Jerk (1979)

Best drinks in Town. [Smut]

A;N: Hello pretty people! I’m so sorry I have been gone (writing wise) for so long! Life’s been a bit hectic lately! However, I had this idea and I couldn’t get it out my head! Enjoy! xox

Pairing: Stuart TwomblyxReader

Author: thelittlestkitsune

Warnings: Smut.

Word count: 5,851

Listen to me.

Originally posted by writingissatansworstnightmare

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avengingphoenix  asked:

Oooh! I'd love the Guardians being protective of Tony. Because the Avengers are being jerks. And space family because baby groot is their smol son.

“Why are they still living here?” asks Peter one morning and Tony shrugs.

“They were my friends.” answers Tony then and Peter shakes his head.

“Yeah were! They treat you so bad, starlight. I wish i could hurt them.” says Peter and kicks against the table. Tony frowns.

“Please don’t hurt them!” says Tony at that and Peter shakes his head at him.

“You know i won’t. But only because you have a heart of gold.” sighs Peter and then kisses Tonys nose. Tony smiles.

“What do we have to do today?” asks Peter when they go to the kitchen to eat something.

“Oh nothing wild. I have a meeting after lunch. And we promised we would take Rocket and Groot to the playground right? I want to see how Groot enjoys the slide.” Tony giggles at that and Peter squeezes his hand.

“I know why i love you.”

“I am Groot.” says Groot when he sees them and Peter goes over to him.

“Hey Groot. How are you?” asks Peter and lifts Groot up. Groot cuddles up to him and smiles.

“I am Groot.”

“Oh i know you are hungry. I think Tony makes us something if we ask really nice.” says Peter sheepishly and Tony laughs.

“Course. Sit down. Where is the other son?” says Tony and Rocket growls form the other side of the room.

“Psht! Starlight you know that he is a teenager. He doesn’t wants to be called that.” laughs Peter now and Tony grins. Rocket says nothing. He tried that a hundredth times already.

“Here we go. Pancakes for my favorite boys.” says Tony and places them on the table.

“How sweet.” says someone from the doorway and Tony looks up. Wanda.

“Can i get a pancake, too?” laughs Clint now and Tony frowns.

“I made them for Peter, Groot and Rocket.” answers Tony slowly and Clint makes a noise of protest.

“Don’t care.” is all he says and then he takes Tony own pancake and eats it. Tony doesn’t say anything.

“Make me some pancakes, too.” says Wanda and Tony stands up to make her another one.

“He really does it.” says Rocket and he sounds angry. Not at Tony, but Wanda.

“Course because he knows what i can do, when he doesn’t. He is afraid.” says Wanda and thats it. Groot growls and in the next minute, Wanda is against the wall. Groots roots around her neck.

Rocket has a gun pointed at Clint.

“I’m going to say this only one time. You will leave. Not tomorrow, today. And i never want to see you here again.” says Peter slowly and he can see how scared Wanda is.

“Guys…” tries Tony but Rocket plays with the trigger.

“Was that clear enough?” asks Rocket and he waits before Clint and Wanda nod. Then he sits down and eats his pancake. Groot releases Wanda and holds his napkin up to Tony.

Tony smiles a bit wary but helps Groot with it.

Wanda and Clint are nearly running out of the kitchen and Peter helps Tony on his lap and feeds him with his pancake.

Nobody is an asshole towards their space prince.

Marichat May: Akumatized Chat Noir


This akuma was entirely inspired by @fangirltothefullest awesome drawing for akuma!Adrien


In the few times that she faces off against Chat Noir, Marinette often finds that each face off is a little different.

A hateful Chat was still childish and immature, and in some strange twisted way, still very respectful, Ladybug noting that he didn’t strike her when she put away her yo-yo; far more alarmed that she wanted to kiss him.

Puppeteer, Chat behaved as a kid, being all over the place and childish, echoing Puppeteer herself.

And caught up in Princess Fragrance perfume, he was elegant and song filled, serenading for her miraculous, trying to fight her gracefully. It was very half hearted effort from him in that little episode.

Now Chat Noir as an akuma, as Cheshire, this was a whole new level.

Even more so when she was facing him as Marinette.

She was just having an argument with Chloe when he appeared, Marinette just catching a mad smile on his lips as he moved. She didn’t have time to react before Chloe disappeared before her.

Marinette gaped at the open space before her, then jerked as the akuma dropped down before her, gasping to see that for once, he was maskless.

“A-Adrien?” she whispered, wide eyed at the cat based akuma. No wait, that, that was more Chat with the hair, or, or is this—

With a broad smile, the akuma corrected, “Actually it’s Chesire, Princess.”

She jumped when he took her hand, bringing it up and pressing her knuckles to his lips in a lazy kiss. “Sorry for the fright,” he murmured with a coy, lazy smile, purple eyes locked on her. “But Ladybug and I are going to be playing a bit of a game today. Would hate to see you caught in the crossfire.”

“Uh,” was all Marinette could utter before the world shifted around her. She squealed as the ground was sudden gone under her feet, grunting as she dropped on her plush bed. She laid still for a moment, gaping.

She was suddenly in her room.

Her home being a good twenty minutes away from where she was before.

“Ti-Tikki?” Marinette uttered, slowly sitting up, shaky.

The kwami darted out, frowning and equally troubled. “Was, was that…”

Tikki shook her head. She met Marinette’s startled gaze and said, “This is another akuma Marinette. Someone you’re going to save.”

Marinette’s eyes narrowed, then she nodded. “Let’s do this,” she agreed.

She was going to save… Adrien?


No matter, she was going to save him.

anonymous asked:

if you're still taking jimon prompts could you please write jace having the most blatant, transparent, obvious crush on simon and simon ONLY just realising when jace leans in to kiss him but chickens out because he doesn't want to freak out simon i know it's oddly specific but i have been thinking about this for 500 years

jimon + one of the cutest fucking ideas ever im crying

“You’re staring.” Simon complains. Jace shrugs his shoulders, leaning against the wall opposite to Simon in the tiny alley they’re stuck in until backup arrives. 

“You’ve got - “ Jace says, and then stops and moves forward, forehead furrowed in concentration as he lightly cards his fingers through Simon’s hair. Simon holds very, very still and tries to ignore the heat coming off of Jace’s body; he fails spectacularly. 

Fucking Jace and his flirtatious tendencies. It gives a person misplaced hope

“Leaf.” Jace explains quietly as he takes his hand away. He doesn’t move away though, still standing close to Simon, staring down with his absurdly pretty lashes. 

“Great, now the trees hate me too.” Simon complains, his voice pitched low and quiet. Jace chuckles at that. 

“It’s hard being you, isn’t it, Simon.” He murmurs, and then - Simon almost thinks he’s imagining it, but Jace’ gaze has dropped lower, his eyes transfixed by Simon’s mouth. Simon instinctively darts his tongue out to wet his bottom lip, and Jace’s eyes darken. 

Oh God. Fucking hell, Simon definitely did not expect this. This is - so far beyond the realm of possibility. What is happening

Jace is leaning closer, and Simon is getting lightheaded, hardly daring to move as soft breath whispers across his face, Jace’s lips parting, his head tilting slightly, barely any space separating them - 

Jace jerks back so suddenly that for a moment Simon thinks someone’s flat out attacking them. He springs back to, wildly swinging his head around and checking their surroundings before the reality crashes into him, staring him in the face in the form of Jace gasping for breath against the other wall, looking at Simon with horror on his face. 

“Right.” Simon says out loud, laughing bitterly. Jace flinches, a hand coming up to scrub at his face, and Simon tilts his head back against the alley wall and laughs mirthlessly. “Of course.” 

“This can’t happen.” Jace says, his voice horrified, and Simon’s suddenly, furiously angry. 

“I didn’t do anything.” He snaps, hurt and stung by Jace’s rejection. 

“I can’t - won’t - do this.” Jace says like he didn’t even hear, staring at Simon. He looks so terrified, and Simon is possessed with the insane urge to both comfort him and punch him. 

“I don’t really give a fuck. You leaned in, you looked like you were going to - “

“I’m sorry,” Jace says miserably, “I never meant to fuck our friendship up like this. You deserve so much better - “

A wild, ridiculous thought pops into Simon’s head at those words, because Jace’s sentence doesn’t make complete sense and Simon has a bizarre idea that’s taken hold in his mind. 

“Jace,” He says slowly, because what the hell, he’s committed to this now, “do you like me?” 

“Sorry.” Jace repeats immediately, and Simon has to stare at him like he’s grown another head because. What. This doesn’t happen. This only happens in stupid Valentine’s Day rom-coms. This isn’t Simon Lewis’ life. 

“Don’t be.” Simon says slowly, and they’re both staring at each other now with equal parts apprehension and slowly dawning comprehension. “I want - the same things you want. Apparently.” 

“That’s - are you sure?” Jace asks, frowning. Simon steps forward, transfixed.

“Not at all.” He murmurs, before he summons what little courage he has and curls a hand around Jace’s neck, tugging him forward and pressing their mouths together. Jace makes a low, wounded noise, his lips pressing back softly, hesitantly, a question that Simon answers by pushing forward into the kiss, sliding his tongue across Jace’s and trying to pour a depth of emotion he isn’t sure he can express yet into it. 

Jace breathes shallowly through his nose, his hands slowly coming up to grasp at Simon’s waist and dig in, his fingers pressing sharply against Simon’s ribs. He holds Simon close, the grasp of someone who’s a little - a lot - afraid. Simon can relate. He pulls back slowly, his eyes lingering across Jace’s pink, spit-slicked lips, his free hand coming up to smooth over Jace’s cheek, stubble rasping under his palm. 

“I had no idea.” Simon says, amazed. Jace snorts, his arrogance slowly rearing it’s head again. 

“You might have been the only one that didn’t.” He retorts. “Blind much?” 

“Not even close! Vampire!” Simon says indignantly. 

“That’s even more embarrassing, then. Super senses, and all that.” Jace teases gently. He’s still holding tight to Simon, his fingers beginning to hurt where they’re exerting pressure. 

“I’m a vampire, not a mind-reader.” Simon grouses. “Loosen your hold on me, I’m still breakable and I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours.” Jace looks inordinately pleased at that, his smile growing so bright it sets off an ache somewhere deep in Simon’s chest. 

“Don’t do that!” Simon grumbles. “I’m getting all sorts of feelings. Just shut up and kiss me.” 

And Jace gladly obeys. 

you'd best never forget
 this worthless pride of mine.

[07.20] - Happy bday to my favorite piece of space junk ♡

JJBA Episode 26

If it weren’t against the laws of God and man, I would marry this ending.

anonymous asked:

Number 9 pls.

9. Who calms the other down when the other has a nightmare?

They both calm each other down after a nightmare.. But with completely different (and yet very similar) methods.

Peter has rarely any nightmares and he knows that he is very lucky because of that. But sometimes he dreams of his mother and then his first day in space and he jerks awake. He always tries to calm himself down, because it was only a dream. But he shivers more often than enough and when he turns around and he sees Tonys dark hair under the blanket he smiles. He doesn’t wake Tony up, because he knows his little genius needs his sleep. But it doesn’t matter, because Peter only needs to know that Tony is there with him. So he cuddles closer and spoons Tony. Just the feel of Tony skins calms him down. Carefully he wraps his arms around him and interlocks his hand with Tony. Peter smiles when Tony makes a cute sound in the back of his throat and cuddles even more into Peter. He tries to think of something good, like the day when he proposed to Tony and he said yes. And it only takes him a few moments to fall asleep again. Save and warm.

Tony has a lot nightmares and he knows that he is acting like a baby, when he has them. But sometimes he dreams of falling out of space or when Steve nearly beat him to death and he jerks awake.  He always tries to calm himself down, because it was only a dream. But he cries more often than enough and when he turns around and he sees Peters light hair under the blanket he smiles. He always wakes Peter up and he feels bad about it, because he knows his astronaut needs his sleep. But it doesn’t matter, because Peter is always so sweet to him then. So Peter cuddles closer and spoons Tony. Just the feel of Peter around him, calms him down. Peter carefully wraps his arms around Tony and Tony immediately interlocks his hand with Peters. Tony smiles, when Peter sighs happily at that and he cuddles even more into Peter. He tries to think of something good, like the day when Peter proposed to him and he said yes. And it only takes him a few moments to fall asleep again. Save and warm.

the thing that confuses me about acecourse is how exactly people define het

to me it means “likes only people of one particular different gender”

what they call “het” is what I’d call “het AND sexual”

beyond that, I’m honestly not sure I mind someone hanging around queer spaces who isn’t a jerk, even if it continues to confuse me somewhat (unless those spaces have a specific target subgroup)

especially if they are doing the hanging because they don’t know where else to go

I joined the fandom really late (even if I played Undertale not long after it was released), so I know there’s nothing really original about my Undertale fanart. There’s 9834213 pics like this one out there, and I don’t care much. I’ll draw whatever I want even if it’s not that good or original. In this case, I just wanted to draw cute fluffly and floating things, cause let’s be honest, OuterTale has the CUTEST OUTFITS (I still have little skips of hapiness when I see Frisk’s little rocket jetpack thing).

I had never drawn the space before (even if the background on my pic does not look like the real outerspace lol).

Btw, this file’s name is “space jerks”. They are some cute jerks.

“Favorite” Scene (?)

The klaxon blared across the ship, red lights flashed their warning.  The fleet was under attack.

Commandos ran past, headed for the armory.  The plates of their armor clanked loudly against each other.  The enemy had breached the blockade; they would be boarded.

Behind him, other orange-clad pilots ran, astromechs zipping and beeping through the corridors after them.  They pulled their pistols out of their holsters as they split off to different hangars, just in case they met resistance.

“Come on, Beebee-ate!”  Poe shouted, jogging down the corridor.  The straps on his harness flapped behind him, the holster at his hip bounced against one leg while the other slapped against the grey hose that hung from the control box on his flak vest.  Inside the cool, climate-controlled cruiser, sweat had already gathered under his collar and across his brow at the exertion and the adrenaline of battle surging through his blood.

There she was in front of him; expert craftsmanship, beautifully maintained, orange and grey on black.

“INCOMING!”  Came a shriek from the side of the hangar.

Poe heard the hum and whine of engines before the explosion rocked the floor and walls of the hangar.  Debris and fire shot in and up, filling the large space.  BB-8 jerked backwards as Poe ducked away from the blast.  Hot smoke filled his lungs.  The hair on his head and face was singed into his skin.  His boots slipped on the durasteel floor as he tried to push his momentum back in the opposite direction.  Amidst the sirens, now roaring fire, and the screams of his comrades, Poe could barely make out the rush of air escaping out of the damaged hangar.  In the next few seconds, the scraping sound of metal on metal joined the cacophony of noise as the blast doors raced to close against the vacuum of space.

The pilot spared only a breath to glance at what remained of his once steadfast machine.  Blasted down to chunks of twisted, smoldering metal.  No longer recognizable as the quick and nimble starfighter.

BB-8 let out a panicked set of beeps causing Poe to pull his blaster from its holster.  There was the clanking of metal boots on the durasteel floor, the loud rustling of armor, and Poe knew the next battle would not be in the stars.  It would be right here, in the belly of this ship, with the blaster in his hand.

True Love

Please fire me. My boss decided today that he wants to have a massive media-frenzied event for 500 people on Saturday and I have to coordinate everything by myself.

best absolute puppies  ⟷  werewolf pack AU verse

1. Alone

pairing: ot6 (daehyun focus)
words: 2300
summary: everyone knows Daehyun hates to be alone


Daehyun is lying sprawled out on the couch, comfortably dressed in sweatpants and a worn-out shirt. His eyes are on the TV, its low buzzing the only thing to be heard through the empty house, but he’s not even sure what show is on. His mind is elsewhere; out there in the night with his pack.

He’d heard them howl barely an hour ago—Yongguk first, and then the others followed. Daehyun’s heart had ached at the familiar sound, wanting to join in. He’d even had to put a hand to his mouth to keep himself from trying to howl in his human form. There’s been a lump in his throat since they left, and it’s only growing as more time passes. Swallowing around it hurts, the soreness reminding him of its presence, and Daehyun has to fight not to cry at how miserable he feels.

Sighing heavily, he curls himself into a ball in the farther end of the couch, resting his chin on one knee. Youngjae’s scent is all over his clothes, as they often share, and he tries to find comfort in that. Tries to convince himself that they’re all thinking of him, too. That the hunt is not the same without him; that their howl didn’t sound as good without his voice.

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