I want you to imagine the Saints settling humanity on New Earth, with all the contributions of highly advanced alien technology. Cities and towns and small quaint villages are set up in months. The Boss, as supreme overlord of multiple galaxies, lays down some major ground rules; Abusers of any kind, get shot. Rapists, get shot. Nazis, get shot. People who say Beyoncé is the worst- shot. And then they pass on their role as the leader of the new world, to Keith David.
They find a plot of land, stake a claim- and then take a proper spaceship this time and become true space gangsters. They take whatever Saint is willing to come (the Boss doesn’t go anywhere without Johnny, he makes clear) and they explore the known universe with the knowledge of Boss’ galactic empire. They meet (and bang) new alien species, commit crimes in vastly intricate cities, get drunk and high on white beaches with red seas and violet skies.
And when they have made the Saints known across the galaxy as puckish rogues and the toughest space gang around? The Boss returns to New Earth. They go back to that plot of land, on the cliffside overlooking a beach view to rival the Bahamas, and build a crib- and a home. The Boss, and whoever cannot see themselves living apart from them, spend their twilight years sipping beer, watching sunsets and every so often a minor drive-by accompanied by the continent’s biggest party of the year.
And they are all happy and no one else dies unless they’re old, doing something they love or look awesome doing it.
do know why toei stopped making the metal hero series?
Before I get started, I am going to say this is entirely based on my owns speculation and what I know of the way things work with tokusatsu TV shows. That said, my educated guess on why they stopped was that the ratings and toy sales began to tank coupled with a desire to bring back Kamen Rider. Allow me to elaborate.
The Metal Hero series came about as a replacement for Kamen Rider after Kamen Rider Super-1 ended in October of 1981.
The Kamen Rider series had been on something of a ratings and toy sales slump and it was decided to retire the franchise and try something new as a companion piece to the then booming Super Sentai series. Enter the Metal Heroes.
There were notable similarities between Kamen Rider and the Metal Heroes with a lone hero fighting an evil organization, with help from his assistants and friends but if anything the Metal Heroes were even more firmly rooted in Science Fiction and the popularity of Outer Space that was raging at the time (partially thanks to the worldwide success of Star Wars) than Kamen Rider ever was. Just look at the first series, Space Sheriff Gavan.
You have a spaceman in silver armor who travels in what looks like a flying saucer coming to Earth to battle an evil group of space gangsters. That’s a pretty epic idea right there and you add in the flashy, even trippy, fight scenes and a transforming robot dragon and you have a winner. It’s no wonder the first three series were all Space Sheriff based.
The heavy Sci-Fi trend continued with Special Megabeast Investigator Juspion with an added helping of giant monster action that had exploded back onto the scene with the impending revival of Godzilla (the 1984 film).
Things kept going with science fiction until World Ninja War Jiraiya tapped into the eternal fascination with Ninja to change things entirely.
Of course, by this point Robocop has made a splash in Japan and inspired a new breed of Metal Heroes, police and police robots starting with Mobile Cop Jiban.
It continued into the 1990s with shows like Special Rescue Police Winspector, Super Rescue Solbrian, Special Rescue Exceedraft, Tokusou Robo Janperson and then to Blue S.W.A.T. which combined the police theme with the alien invaders that had been such a part of the earliest Metal Hero offerings.
After that, something new was needed, the police angle was growing stale so they looked to Insect-Themed heroes to help, creating the B-Fighter series starting with Juukou B-Fighter in 1995.
This is where I have to start guessing at things because I don’t have any solid information but after the sequel series, B-Fighter Kabuto, the Metal Hero series took a serious left turn into much, much more childish material with B-Robo Kabutack.
My guess is that the more mature series weren’t pushing toys or appealing to kids the way they wanted and they tried something much more oriented to children. I’m not sure it was entirely successful because after the next series,
Tetsuwan Tantei Robotack, the Metal Hero series ended, to be replaced less than a year later with a revived Kamen Rider franchise.
As with all things relating to TV Shows aimed at kids and especially ones aimed at selling toys to kids, the reason any of them go away is because of toy sales and ratings. Unless there is some massive outcry from parents or a scandal (like the complaints of violence launched against the original Kamen Rider Amazon or the jumping death of the child emulating the hero from Moonlight Mask) a series and especially a franchise doesn’t just go away. So, based on these ideas, Toei decided the Metal Heroes had run their course and the experiment with a more kid-friendly approach didn’t pan out.
It was time for A New Hero, maybe even A New Legend.
So the delusional part of me wants Hux and Ren to runaway together and just live a happy and adventurous life as outlaws. Thoughts?
Hey my pal I’m all about these
delusions. So prepare yourself for some space gangster au
Hux resents the idea at first. But
it’s their final option.
They fled in one of Hux’s private
shuttles. Ren was the pilot, Hux the co-pilot. With as many of their belongings
as they can bring and all of Hux’s credits (he has quite a lot fortunately)
They got to some system they couldn’t
pronounce. Full of outlaws and bounty hunters. It wasn’t exactly easy for them
to blend in; Hux was quite recognisable. But they were far away enough from the
Order that it was never a huge problem.
They laid low first. Figuring out
where they stood and what they were doing to do.
Honestly, they just distracted
themselves with sex a lot. Just fucking in every position, on every flat
surface on the ship, until they knew each other’s bodies inside out. Knew each
other’s sensitive spots, limits, weaknesses, every little detail imprinted on
But after a while, when the credits
started depleting, they knew they needed another plan. And since neither of
them have much of a moral compass, and even less so when they’re together.
So they become space gangsters.
And, oh, they become an unstoppable duo. The cold and calculating
Alexander Hux and his fearsome consort Ren (not to be confused with the Knight
of Ren bc there is absolutely no affiliation at all. None whatsoever.)
Basically, you don’t fuck with these two. They are deadly and dangerous. Fear
and respected in the Outer Rim territories. Hux designs and sells weapons. Ren
does some bounty hunter work here and there. They get into crazy shenanigans.
But they are giant domestic nerds
when they’re by themselves, okay?
Hux grows out his regulated hair,
finally, and Kylo feels like he’s found a new religion in it. Especially with
the facial hair that burns against his skin just right. Kylo grows his hair
out, too. Past his shoulders. And after
a while, Hux develops a little bit of a tan. At least, for him anyway.
Kylo teaches Hux how to mediate. He
does a lot of it, trying to block out… everything he can. Hux does a lot more
ballet; his primary way of keeping fit. Kylo still did around a thousand
sit-ups or push-ups a date. Sometimes Hux would sit on his back. They teach
each other their own ways of fighting, strengthen one another. Though not overly
Force sensitive, Kylo taught Hux would he could. How to feel the universe
around you. They communicate through the Force a lot. Good for when they’re out
on jobs and they can be grossly romantic without people knowing
They change ships every few years,
just for safely. Neither of them got very attached anyway. And it’s certainly fun
to christen new ships in unsavoury ways. Hux as all but forgotten what his bed
felt like on the Finalizer.
And of course they want for nothing. Hux
wears expensive clothes and collects old books and artifacts for Kylo.
One rainy evening, they’re lounging in
the viewport of their latest ship, parking in the hanger of some bounty hunter hangout, facing each other, nice and snug. Hux is
drinking caf and reading, with Kylo absently massaging his feet.
Kylo says suddenly, breaking their nearly hour long silence.
his eyes. “You’re sorry,” he repeats. “What for?”
shrugs, lost in thought. “You always thought you were destined to rule. To own
the galaxy. I believe I got in the way of your destiny.”
sets his book down, looking thoughtful himself, “depends on how you interpret
it. I always thought I deserved the galaxy. To cup it in my palms and hang up
the stars to my own design…”
one of Hux’s feet to his lips, kissing the toes. “You would have been a great
tug into a smile. “But the galaxy is worth very little to me now, and if you
were absent from it, it would be worth nothing… I suppose you could say you are my galaxy.” He
chuckles, quiet and fondly. “So, actually, yes, I do own the galaxy. My galaxy.”
galaxy owns you,” Kylo replies swiftly, leaning close, like a child whispering
a secret. “It would be quite lost without you to hang up the stars.”
Well, it's about a 13-year-old prankster who plays a video game that literally destroys and re-creates the universe along with his best friends: a time-traveling DJ; a fantasy-writer-cum-knitting-fanatic; and a narcoleptic huntress. Eventually they team up with a group of aliens from another dimension to stop an immortal pool-ball demon from beyond time and space from wrecking both of their game sessions. They're a zombie frog-girl who communes with the dead; a crippled Peter Pan with self-esteem issues; a genius programmer who uses a computer made of bees; a role-playing-obsessed catgirl who lives in a cave; a fashionista vampire who wields a chainsaw; a blind lawyer who sees things by licking them; a homicidally competitive spider-girl with a robot arm; a masochistic strong-man with hyperactive sweat-glands; a laid-back juggalo who occasionally loses his mind and goes on killing sprees; a genocidal wizard with a weird scarf and an even weirder accent; an undersea empress destined to become Space Nicki Minaj; and their self-proclaimed leader, a bossy, short-tempered mutant with a deep-seated inferiority complex.
Oh, and then they have to "reset" both of their universes because they fail so badly. This makes them team up with their rebooted-universe counterparts: a brain-washed baker; an alcoholic...HEY WAIT! Where are you going! I haven't even told you about the fourth-wall demolishing author insert, the space gangster dog devils, or Rufio!