space between my fingers

I just want to hold your hand again.

I can’t even do that because we are back to where we started.

You are over there and I am over here and the distance between us is killing me, I feel so broken hearted.

I just want to hold your hand but I reach out only to find air filling the spaces between my fingers.

I miss you so badly, sometimes I still feel like you are here as the scent of your perfume still lingers.

—  Tenari Ioapo // Missing you.
|A Theory pt. 6|

GROUP: GOT7 ft a special guest

GENRE: Angst, Smut. Pure unadulterated nonsense 

LENGTH: 5.7k

A/N: Hello there loves, long time no see. A quick question before we begin, Giant or Golden? 

GIFS ARE NOT MINE


Originally posted by yeomseok

Originally posted by smallkpoplove


As soon as the words left his mouth, Mark leaned down, his body not necessarily flush against mine, but his hair tickling my face as he began to suck and bite harshly on my neck. I gripped at his upper back, trying to coax him into laying his body against mine but he stayed strong and resistant, only close enough for me to feel his body heat.

“You smell so good princess” he groaned as he let his tongue tail down to the middle of my chest.

Hearing him groan was something that was immediately arousing and addictive; It was so different from his normal light tone. It was deep, raspy and absolutely sexy. I moved my hands from his upper back to his shirt tucked in his pants, pulling it free in a desperate manner.He watched me with a smoldering gaze as my hands smoothed over his cotton covered abs and chest until I reached the top of his shirt. Whilst undoing the first button, he bit his lip, causing my hands to freeze on either side of his collar, my fingers gripping the material tightly.

“Wanna make Yugyeom really mad?” he began in a dark low tone, lowering his head toward my lips and letting his breath intermingle with mine.

I barely batted an eye at the question, despite my interest, opting for letting my leg trail up to hook around his hip loosely while my arms encircled his neck instead.

“Why would I want to do that?” I asked, genuinely confused and legitimately interested now.

How would I make Yugyeom mad? Have I ever made him mad before? The possibilities and scenarios of the giant maknae upset with me flashed through my mind at a dizzying pace, one image or scenario coming directly after the other and leaving me momentarily paralysed. My brief mental movies involved and abundance of sexual torture; rope, blindfolds, lingering touches, and white hot pleasure. I bit my lip to keep my mind in check, as well as keep in a moan, as I focused on the man above me instead of a certain Kim ordering me to go down on my knees. Mark let a devious smile that I would’ve mistaken for his normal one, save for that mischievous glint in his eyes, if I hadn’t known any better.

“Trust me, you want to do that. You know Yugyeom. He’s shy unless he’s passionate about something. So what I’m suggesting” Mark spoke, drawing out the last word, as he raised my other leg, letting it hook around his other hip so that he was pressed against me now.

I could feel absolutely every curve, dip and groove of his muscles against me but the cotton barrier between us frustrated me; I wanted to feel his skin hot against mine and the cotton was making that increasingly difficult. He gave a slow, tentative roll of his hips, causing my nerves to immediately ignite with an uncontrollable need and I yanked on the sides of his shirt and pulled him closer to attempt to satiate that need.

“Is to simply give him a reason to take what he wants” Mark accentuated his gorgeous honeyed words with a finger trailing up from the space between my breasts, up the vertical plan of my neck, stopping right at the outline of my lips.

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Cover Reveal: HULLMETAL GIRLS

I’m so thrilled to share the cover of my 2018 novel HULLMETAL GIRLS! It’s bold, it’s colorful, and it’s got TWO BADASS ANGRY CYBORG GIRLS ON IT. What more could you want?

Well I’m even more thrilled to share that if you do want more, the first chapter is below! Knock yourselves out!

Oh, and add it on Goodreads if you’d like!

(warning: body horror. buckle up)

Chapter 1: Aisha

In the quiet of the early morning, before the Reliant’s lights begin to glow, I plan two funerals.

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Catharsis

Summary: Bucky finds something to help him heal. Bucky x Reader.

Warnings: None. Fluff. 

Author: @fireandicewillsuffice / @untothebreachwritings 

Note: My submission for Blade’s 2k Followers Challenge! The prompt was #19 “word: cathartic.” Dedicated to @reincarnatedsoul because it’s her birthday today! Yay! *All of the poetry below is my own original work.* 
I love you all and I hope you enjoy. 

****

You didn’t realize it until one night when he held you close and spoke in your ear.

“I want to dig myself into your warmth

I want to line my bones with it

I want to come away with you in my mouth

And in case anyone asks me to make my favorite sound,

I am ready with your name on my tongue.”

You weren’t even entirely sure you did hear anything, right on the edge of falling asleep. But your suspicions were cleared the next day when you saw a small scrap of paper on his bedside table with that same poem scribbled on it.

            You picked it up and ran your fingers across the words, a small smile spreading across your face, imagining him writing it down quickly in the dead of night, awake from a nightmare. You knew you wouldn’t press him on it; this was immensely personal and he had had too many people occupy his mind for too long for you to take this away from him.

            Bucky Barnes was not an easy man to read. He held himself close, protecting what he salvaged and what he rebuilt with fierce responsibility. When he does something, he never half-assed it; Bucky put in his full effort at all times.

            So when he was working through his recovery, his therapist suggested writing out things that bothered him, made him angry, made him happy, and made him remember. At first he scoffed at the idea. How was he supposed to write it all out and see it made flesh? See it become real?

            But after much pleading by his therapist, he ultimately conceded. He wrote out lists, he wrote out his thoughts, his fears, anything he could think of in the moment. He would wake up screaming during the night with you by his side, running soothing hands through his hair, holding him close to your chest. You would run your hands all around him, humming a familiar song in his ear, one that was his, and he started to feel a little comfort. Then he would get out of bed after reassuring you he was fine, and make his way to his office. And he would write.

            You didn’t ask, you knew it was his solace.

            When he crawled back into bed, thinking you were asleep, he would pull you close again and whisper into your ear all of his thoughts.

            Sometime down the line, those lists, those musings, turned into poetry. Bucky didn’t expect this. He remembered once upon a time back before the war, he tried his hand at poetry. It was tucked back so deep into his mind, he almost felt like it was something he made up. But as soon as he tried to fit his words together and tie them to his emotions, it was like returning muscle memory. His fingers just knew.

            So when he came back to his place next to you on the bed, he wanted to show you how he was feeling. The only way he could think of was to recite his poetry to you. He would hold you close and brush his lips to your ear, place a soft kiss there and speak beauty to you:

“I wanted these words to come out like the honey

 that drips from your voice

But all I could think about is the way your fingers feel

when they run across my neck

And there are no words for that”

            After days and weeks of this, he came up to you and told you he was thinking of enrolling in a college and taking some classes. You were ecstatic, you couldn’t believe he had come this far and wanted to further himself in any way he knew how. You asked him what courses he wanted to focus on and he looked down at his feet for a second, a small blush creeping into his skin.

            Sheepishly, he looked up at you again and said, “Writing.”

            You threw your arms around him for a fierce hug and didn’t let go, rather you wrapped your legs around his waist and heard him let out a loud laugh. Bucky felt tension release from his shoulders, happy that you never judged him, always just accepted.

            Months and months had gone by with Bucky attending college, learning and absorbing everything. He had started to warm up to showing you his writing, but he did it in his own way. He would leave notes around the house, little scraps of things he thought about when he thought about you.

            “My heart is thirsty for even a drop of you”

            “These words are red because I have never seen you in any other way”

            “I feel a hole in my heart and you are the only piece that fits”

Every time you read another piece of his mind, your heart grew bigger and bigger. You didn’t know he was writing about you, you thought he talked about his nightmares, his torture, his past…but when you would see the small poems he left out for you, you knew he was better.

            “The spaces between my fingers make me think of you

            You seem to have a way of filling

            every emptiness I can imagine”        

            You surprised him with beautiful leather-bound journals, an array of fountain pens with multiple ink bottles, a way for him to not only write beautiful words, but to make them look beautiful too. Bucky had gorgeous handwriting, and he was more than happy to practice lettering and calligraphy. He even ventured into art, although you both knew he was already a well-trained artist like Steve.

            “I looked inside the cracks of you and found myself

            Hold me there. Let me beat through you.”

One night after coming back from work, you and him were cooking and he brought out one of the journals you had bought him, worn with his writing. He opened up to a page and showed you. After reading it, you let out a small gasp, because he captured the night before with such grace and beauty, you couldn’t believe it.

“In the body of this house

we shiver and quiver

Our gooseflesh has made friends with one another

Has come to know one another.

Here we lay and drink honey from each other’s collarbones

Lap up the sticky sweetness,

the wholeness

of it all

mutter, “stay”

in shoulder blades

whisper “okay”

in ribcages

And cross paths into the spaces between our fingers

And tangle limbs into the curvature of each other

And wonder,

“why did we ever think of leaving?”

He gently pulled your hand towards him and led you to the bedroom, where you saw a large canvas laying on the bed. You both approached it and he started explaining right away.

            “Whenever I would wake up from a nightmare or if I couldn’t sleep, I would start writing. It was all about you. I don’t know why, it just kind of happened to come out? Every time I was trying to shake myself out of those thoughts and think of something good, something happy, you would pop into my mind.”

            You reached out and touched the canvas, and you couldn’t believe your eyes.

            “So, I wanted to do something for you. You’ve been so good to me, doll. So patient, so caring, so sweet. And when I thought of this and started workin’ on it, it ended up being something soothing for me, too. The nightmares started to fade and I’ve been sleeping better than I have before.”

            Looking closer at the canvas, you saw that it was a black and white painted picture of you laughing. It was a shot that Bucky no doubt took of you months ago when you dragged him around town to lighten his mood. In the picture, your head was thrown back and your mouth wide open letting out a strong laugh.

            But when you closed in on it, you realized that all of the black parts, the shading, the outline of your person was done with the poems he wrote about you. Each little shadow, the curve of your eyes, the strands of your hair, was done with the words he had written, his lists, his nightmares, his declarations of love, his descriptions of your smile; everything he had filled in those journals was now standing proud as an image of you.

            You reached out and grabbed his face with your hands, planting a kiss on his lips that you hoped would show him what you were feeling.

            “Bucky, this is unbelievable…. I can’t wrap my head around this.” He smiled down at you and wrapped his arms around your waist.

            “Doll, you’re unbelievable. My life wouldn’t be the same without you. You helped me crawl out of my shell. While doing all of this, I realized that you are my solace.”

            You rested your head on his chest, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. He leaned down and inhaled your scent through your hair.     

            “You are my catharsis.” 

I figured that we’d last longer than we did. It’s been months since I last got to enjoy the feeling of my fingers resting in the spaces between yours. Perhaps someone else has that luxury now. It’s been said that time heals everything. It has gotten a little bit easier to breathe, but some days it feels like time’s real purpose is to make my wounds wider. As the days pass, our past gets farther away from me I wish I could get it back. Nostalgia has a rude way of waiting until the quiet of night to tease me with memories of how we used to be. I hate that you’re nothing more than that now, a memory, a dream. Maybe somewhere you’re dreaming about me. Maybe you have a little love left over. I know I do. Maybe I always will.
—  Maxwell Diawuoh, Request: we broke up months ago and I still love him so much. Time keeps going and I’m slowly moving on and it makes me sad because I wanted to have him forever and the time we spent together keeps getting farther and farther away

In the wintertime,
you create ghosts
out of my name
when you say it.

And now I’m trapped
between this world and the next
like I’m searching for something
to let go of, but I don’t know yet,

my hands stuck somewhere
between the spaces of your fingers
and the pull of God
asking me to let go already.

—  haider m, About The Ghosts That Haunt You
Vanilla Twilight

A/N Based off the song by Owl City! @lampisimportant​ this was mostly written for you but like that’s sappy so I’m just gonna tag you and stop rambling okay bye.

Pairing: moxiety (Morality/Anxiety)

Genre: fluff, AU, human AU, long-distance relationship

Word Count: 1340

Summary:

Ann can’t sleep, but he can’t exactly text his boyfriend either. Instead, he chooses to miss him.

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The spaces between my fingers
molded to yours perfectly.
But now they have to fit different hands to hold,
and bodies to touch
that don’t fit as well.
Having to clutch
unfamiliar bedsheets.
Running my hands through hair that isn’t the same texture.
Absentmindedly tracing the scar that’s on your arm,
only to find smooth skin.
Touching an unshaven face instead of a beard.
Leaving myself no other option
than to break the habit
and the mold
that my hands made only for you.
—  melindacarolinee
Bloodstream
Stateless


“I think I might’ve inhaled you
I can feel you behind my eyes
You’ve gotten into my bloodstream
I can feel you flowing in me

The spaces in between
Two minds and all the places they have been
The spaces in between
I try to put my finger on it
I try to put my finger on it

Take a Hint - two.
  • Baekhyun x Reader
  • Angst - Highschool!AU
  • Word count: 1207

Description: Your rival with Baekhyun continues, but why do things feel different, why do you feel different? Smells like a confession.

A/N: Usually I end parts with a cliffhanger, but not this time, sorry. This is part 2 out of 3. Mostly just a builder to be honest. Baekhyun is such a hopeless romantic, I love it.

one. // two. // three. (soon)

Originally posted by sehuntiful

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Take A Break (Hayes Grier)

I sat on my bed cross legged and tried to open the physics textbook for the 5th time in 2 hours. I know the exam’s tomorrow but oh my gosh it’s painful.

I close my eyes and take a breath. Okay, Y/N, pull it together, I tell myself. All you have to do is get a 71 and you pass with a C+, just enough to keep a 3.5 GPA.

A hand settles itself on my bare thigh. My eyes open and stare at Hayes for a second, whose on his phone acting as if nothing happened. Even though it’s distracting as hell, I take it as a supportive gesture and try to focus back on the task at hand. I’m getting deep into relativity theories when his he starts running his hand back and forth across my leg, lightly and lazily. I look back at him again but he stills pays no attention to me and I try to get back to what I’m doing.

Eventually, he starts moving around, now sitting up slightly behind me instead of laying down next to me. At first I ignore him, until he starts messing around with a bit of my hair- twirling it around his finger, running his hands through it, even leaning close to me to smell it.

“Your hair smells good,” he comments, resting his chin on my shoulder.

“Stop it,” I say.

“Stop what?”

“Distracting me! I’m trying to study here, you know I need a good grade on this last exam.”

“I know, babe. I also know that you’ve been studying like this for days. Haven’t you heard it’s best to just rest and relax the day before the test, so you’re calm going into it?”

“Never heard that in my life,” I respond.

“Well, it works,” he says, burying his nose in the crook of my neck, pecking it a few times.

I shy away and try to scooch over so we’re not so close, but he just takes the opportunity to close the book and pull me closer, nearly onto his laps.

“You should take a break,” he said, wrapping his arms around me.

“You know what?” I ask rhetorically. “I should. I’mma go get a snack, you stay here.”

I move to hop off the bed but he pulls me back, pushing me onto the bed on my back. He leans over me, “Maybe later,” he says, clearly amused.

He lowers his head and I’m lost as our lips touch. At the start it’s gentle, caring, his lips barely brush mine. His arms are holding him up above me, mine wrap around his neck in surrender. At my first sigh he grows more intense, pressing his lips harder mine. I eagerly accept and use what little strength I have to pull his full weight on top of me.

He groans and pushes at my lips, forcing me to open them on a moan. I let him in and only our need for each other carries us. He’s taken over my senses, just like every time we do this. It feels as if the world is spinning around us instead of the sun, and everything else is just a passerby while we’re the only true movement, the only real people left.

Our kiss, however passionate it may be, is full of youthful mistakes. Both of our hands are simply fumbling in the dark, not knowing where to go. Every once in a while our hands will collide or our knees will bump, but we barely notice. He eventually moves slightly off me, presumably to allow me more air. His head lifts and for a split second I dread that he’s going to stop, but he simply moves down to my neck, allowing his hand to grasp at my waist and pull me upwards, urging our bodies to be even closer together than we already are.

I can’t help but moan and gasp as he sucks and nibbles at my neck. My finger find themselves buried deep in his soft, smooth hair as I arch my back. A minute later he comes back up, returning to my lips. I kiss him hard, rolling us over so I straddle him. He lets out a small laugh and brings me back down to him, resuming the kiss.

I reach down, running my fingers along the sliver of space between his pants and where his shirt has risen to. I push the shirt a little higher, allowing myself to trace the dips and curves of his stomach muscles. Every time I reach a new one it tenses individually. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t make me extremely satisfied.

“Oh my god, Y/N, you’re killing me.”

I smiled, “I know. You like it though.”

I could feel him growing hard underneath me and knew that we should stop soon. But ‘soon’ wasn’t ‘now’ right? I kept kissing him, wandering down his jawline and neck, even his collarbone. He placed his hands on my ass and tipped his head back further. As he groaned I could feel it, the vibration against my lips. I moved up a little more an lightly nipped his ear lobe, then whispered into it.

“I’m really glad you made me take a break.”

He smiled and laughed, “Me too.” Then he lifted me off of him and set my book back in my lap. “Now get back to work, you’ve got a test to pass tomorrow. You need some help?”

I frowned, frustrated that we couldn’t continue. He relaxed back into his previous position and looked at his phone again. I couldn’t help but smile, knowing my boyfriend actually did care about my success.  

I leaned down, pecking his cheek. “No I’m good. Thank you though.”


Masterlist

Prompt List - to be updated 

Song Prompts

———
A/N:
Thanks for reading, hope you liked it. I didn’t really know how to end it, but I tried. To the requester, I’m not quite sure when you requested this, but it was probably a while ago, so sorry for taking so long, hope you like it though. I got so many messages and more attention than usual for my last Hayes imagine because apparently everyone loves him but no one writes about him, so her you go! I have another Hayes imagine to do still for those of you who enjoy them, then a few song requests, which should be exciting since I haven’t done those in a while. That’s all for now,

Peace,
that-fandom-tho.

PS: as I was uploading this I realized I was supposed to be releasing the Send My Love imagine and not this one but I’ve already spent like 10 mins tagging and linking everything so I’ll put Send My Love pt. 2 out tonight or tomorrow, promise!

001. spaces

prompt: the space in the blanket between you and boyfriend!jimin that lets the cold air in, just had a fight so he’s mad or you’re mad and one or the other are fighting the desire to snuggle up for warmth. hope i explained it well! love your work ♡

There had been lots of instances where Jimin and I had fought. Like when I replaced the sugar with salt making his coffee taste extra bitter and spoiling his already foul mood on that particular Monday morning. Or when he had replaced my shampoo for blue hair dye and I had emerged from my shower crying. Our pranks were lighthearted and we had always made up before the day ended. 

However, this was new. 

As we lay in bed, Jimin’s body was curled away from mine. He lay on the edge of his side of the bed stretching the blanket as far as it would allow. The space between us letting the cold air caress our bodies robbing our warmth. The purpose of the blanket was questionable as it refused to warm our hearts. 

I gazed at the back of Jimin’s head and pursed my lips, trying to decipher what I had done wrong to make him behave this way. To make him curl so far away from my body as if any contact with my skin would end him. 

My mind wandered to the coincidental meeting I had with Jeongguk. As far as ex-relationships go, ours was the one relationship that had ended with both of us on good terms. So when Jeongguk asked me to have a harmless cup of coffee with him, how could I refuse? As we spoke Jeongguk continued to enlighten me with details on his soon to be fiancée who he was meeting that same evening to propose. 

Just as he had taken my number, to invite both Jimin and I to his wedding, Jimin had appeared. The concern was evident on his face when he saw Jeongguk and I together but he hid it quickly and brushed off any explanation I offered him saying it doesn’t bother him. 

Ah, I’m so dense. Of course he’s bothered. 

I let out a deep sigh and turned away from the ceiling to face Jimin again. I bit my lip and rolled towards Jimin as if I were as sleep. I wrapped my arms around Jimin’s torso, holding my body tightly against him. 

“Yah~ What’re you doing?” Jimin said, attempting to push my arms away. I tightened my arms around him and sighed into his shoulder, pretending to be asleep.

“I know you’re not asleep,” Jimin said, his hands pried weakly at mine, I intertwined our fingers and smiled into his shoulder as he let out a sigh of frustration. 

“I’m asleep,” I mumbled back, caressing the back of his hand with my thumb.

“No, you’re not.” Jimin said bluntly, I frowned at his tone, moving to untangle our limbs. However, he tightened his grasp on my hands, restricting my movements. 

“I know you’re not asleep because whenever you sleep you not only throw your arms around me but also a leg over me, completely immobilizing me.” Jimin said, his usual playful tone slowly creeping back into his voice. I fleetingly kissed the back of his neck, causing a shiver to run through him and wrapped my leg around him. 

“There,” I said, smiling against him. he abruptly let go of my wrist and turned around in my arms to face me, forcing our bodies to mesh perfectly. 

“This is better,” Jimin murmured, brushing his hand across the length of my face. He ran his hand down the length of my arm and intertwined our fingers once again. As I stared at his sleep filled eyes, I bit my lip unable to hold my words in anymore.

 “Jeongguk is engaged,” I blurted. Jimin looked up at me with his eyebrow raised. 

“He asked for my number so that he could invite us both to his wedding.” I continued, squeezing his hand in mine. Jimin’s lips quirked into a small smile as he quietly listened to my outburst.

“I know you said that you weren’t bothered, but I know you. I’ve been with you long enough to know when something has upset you. I’m sorry I didn’t clear this up sooner.” I murmured, my eyes drifting to out intertwined hands. 

“I wasn’t upset with you, I was upset with myself.” Jimin murmured, his hands playing with mine. 

“I was the one that acted like it didn’t bother me in the first place when I was dying of curiosity …and jealousy.” Jimin admitted bashfully, he quietly laughed at himself and ran a hand through his tousled hair. As he moved to turn away from me, I grasped his hand once again and intertwined our fingers. I leaned forward and placed a firm kiss on his unsuspecting lips. As I moved away from him, he gazed into my eyes, searching for an explanation. 

“The spaces between my fingers, in my bed, and in my heart are occupied by you, Park Jimin. I love you now and forever, don’t you ever forget it.”

Fake Girlfriend 4 || Dan Howell

A/N: The response to part 3 was just overwhelming! thanky ou so much 💕

THIS IS THE FINAL PART!

Word Count: 1.5K 

POV: Dan

MASTERLIST // PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4 // PART 5

Originally posted by salaiiinspire

“I wasn’t acting.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. She actually wanted to kiss me? My eyes widened as I intensively looked at her. My heart was suddenly racing. Y/N stopped staring at her feet and our gazes met. Her eyes spoke of surprise just like mine did. We just stood there in the middle of the woods, our faces cold and hands sweating. The girl in front of me with the cute red nose was the same one I used to fight with whenever we met. I used to despise her and my hate was returned. So, what happened to us?  Because right at that moment I longed to kiss her sweet pink lips even if it were the last thing that I did.

I swallowed hard. I should’ve probably said something but all I could think about was kissing her. I moved closer to her, leaving footprints in the snow with every step I took. Since she was shorter than me she lifted her head to look up as soon as I stood right in front of her, our chests almost touching. I could feel my body already prickling. She was so damn beautiful. Y/N got on her tiptoes. There were only inches between us. I could feel her warm breath on my cold skin. The spark was almost there. I leaned in to close the distance between us and then?  Shouts.

“Daniel, Y/N! Where are you?” Aunt Sarah’s voice echoed through the forest.

We had fallen behind a while ago and had last seen my relatives more than ten minutes ago. They probably thought we were lost somewhere around here since there were a lot of different paths.

I groaned in annoyance, seeing my aunt and her soon to be husband. ‘We were about to kiss god damn it.’ I wanted to angrily shout in their faces. Maybe I groaned a bit too loud because Y/n started giggling at my exasperation. Just the sound of her little laugh made me calm down.

“We are here!” I shouted back.

After less than 5 minutes we had caught up to my relatives.

“Sorry, we didn’t mean to worry you. We just.. uhm needed a minute to ourselves.” I apologized, scratching the back of my head.

“You both know that the fertility luck of that squirrel you saw lasts longer than just a few minutes, right?” my grandma asked, winking again.

Oh my god. Here she goes again. Why does she always have to do this? I mentally facepalmed myself and just laughed it off while Y/N stayed silent in embarrassment.

“I hope you didn’t search for us too long?” I asked with a slight feeling of guilt. Unfortunately, Harry was the first one to answer.

“Well Dan, Auntie Sarah was actually quite worried about you. You must know Y/N, that when Dan and I were 12 we used to play hide and seek here in the woods and Dan got lost for a whole afternoon. When we found him in the evening he was crying his eyes out and since then we weren’t allowed to play here anymore.” Harry ended his anecdote with a bitter laugh and I wondered how many stories that make me seem like the biggest loser on Earth there were.

Much to my liking though Y/N was on my side and not his. Her way of killing was kindness. She just laughed at my 12 year old self and took my hand in hers. Her small fingers felt cold under her knitted gloves so I tried to rub some warmth into her hands.

“Is that why you are scared of trees and the dark?” she wanted to know with a grin and I was surprised that she knew that about me.

Since it was way past midday we soon returned to my aunt’s mansion. Sarah made hot chocolates for all of us to warm up. Later today most of my other relatives would arrive since the wedding was tomorrow. Me and Y/N walked up to our room in silence. My thoughts were racing though. We weren’t even friends when we got here, she was just my fake girlfriend and now? What were we now?

Instead of talking about what happened during our little walk we just talked. About how we both met Phil, what are favourite movies were, what we were scared of as children and topics like that. The only thing we didn’t talk about was our first kiss, our second kiss and our almost kiss. I think we were both unsure of what the other would say and we just didn’t know how to address it. At five in the afternoon there was a knock on our door, making me stop talking mid-sentence.

“Hey, lovebirds. Most of your aunts, uncles and cousins have arrived, Dan. Why don’t you two come downstairs to have dinner with all of us?”

“Sure, auntie.” I said while Y/N sweetly smiled at Sarah.

We got up from the armchairs near the big window that we were sitting on. Y/N checked her hair in the mirror on the wall before she approached the door.

“I can’t believe that out of all girls in the world, it’s you who is my fake girlfriend.” I uttered with astonishment.

My words made Y/N stop in the middle of her tracks. She turned around to look at me and when I saw her face I realized that she had completely misunderstood what I had said. I was trying to compliment her. I was simply expressing my amazement because the most beautiful girl in the whole entire world agreed to act like she is my girlfriend. She had interpreted what I said differently, in a negative way.  

“Y/N I didn’t mean it like-“ I defended myself trying to make this, whatever this was, okay again.

“Let’s just go meet your family.” She snapped and walked out of the door.

 Smooth Dan Howell. Real smooth.

I headed after her, wanting to apologize, but it was already too late.

“Daniel dear!” various relatives exclaimed with glee when they saw me and I shook a lot of hands instead of kissing Y/N.

What I soon learned was that Y/N was indeed a really good actress. She acted like the perfect girlfriend and made us seem like we were the happiest couple on Earth. Only I knew that she was actually mad at me. What was I even thinking when I said that? Why didn’t I ask her to be my girlfriend already?

The horror that I might have ruined whatever we could have had made my heart want to explode. We sat at the table talking and chatting with everybody, eating dinner and answering questions about our fake relationship.

“Looking at you two makes me want to be young again.” My grandma said with a smile.

Y/N blushed and squeezed my hand underneath the table.  It was just an act but I wanted it to be real so badly.

So I plunged in at the deep end.  I moved closer to her, my palms sweaty.

“I’m  I am – uh.. falling for you, Y/N.” I whispered into her ear, my heartbeat almost louder than my words.

I watched her face lose colour at my words. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to say something but then closed it again.

I could tell that she was shouting “Dan?!” inside of her head right now.

Dessert couldn’t be served soon enough and we nearly jumped up from our seats when we were finished. We took two stairs at the same time, nearly sprinting to our room. When I shut the door behind me, there was nothing and nobody holding us back anymore.

“CAN WE FINALLY TALK ABOUT THIS?!” Y/N screamed, but just as those words had left that pretty mouth of hers I had stumbled forward to where she stood and crashed my lips onto hers. I was finally kissing her, no acting just real feelings. She immediately kissed back and there was that famous spark again. My whole body was on fire as I wrapped my arms around her waist and she tangled her fingers in my hair. There was no space between our bodies left as we moved our lips in perfect rhythm.  

We broke apart staring at each other in sheer amazement.

I was still out of breath but she was right, we had to talk about his. So I swallowed hard and talked.

“Okay so, first of all I just want you to know I am not acting right now. It’s all real and I never should have lied.

The second thing I want you to know is that what I said before dinner was supposed to be a compliment, but it looks like I am just freaking dumb.

The third confession is that I have fallen so hard for you and every time I kiss you it feels like I am actually on fire.”

Y/N and I had the biggest smiles on our faces as I finally spoke my mind.

“Oh and fourth, I’m tired of this fake girlfriend thing. The ‘fake’ part just doesn’t work out for me.”