soviet cosmonauts

my roommate is watching a zombie movie on his bed, posed like he is in a damn renaissance painting, wearing his soviet cosmonaut halloween costume as pajamas, and drinking a HUGE bottle of wine directly from the bottle

kisschugger  asked:

prussianmemes who is your avatar

It’s a Soviet Cosmonaut, Vladimir Komarov (1927- 1967) - who was the first human to die during a spaceflight - but is also more notable for his sacrifice

He was chosen as the pilot for the Soyuz-1′s first manned test flight. Initial evaluation of the craft by Yuri Gagarin and Komarov was done and they found around ~204 anomalies within the module.

Komarov tried to warn other engineers and his seniors about how the module won’t function properly, and that there would be a failure during testing - but nobody listened to him.

He was going to get out of the mission - but then he found out that his seniors would have sent Yuri Gagarin - who was an extremely close friend of Komarov.

Vladimir Komarov couldn’t do that to his friend. “That’s Yura,” his biography quotes him saying, “and he’ll die instead of me. We’ve got to take care of him.” Komarov then burst into tears.

Komarov decided that he would go instead - knowing that he would most likely die.

At the same time, Yuri Gagarin tried to force his superiors to let him replace Komarov on the mission for the same reason; he didn’t want to see his buddy die. The whole thing is incredibly sad.

During the flight, the solar arrays didn’t deploy - EXACTLY as Komarov suspected, and at the same time the launch of the other module was cancelled - meaning he needed to re-enter.

The parachute failed to orient properly when entering the atmosphere, and the parachute failed to deploy.

During the re-entry he contacted the land base and cursed an yelled at his seniors for sending him to this mission - cried - and demanded that he had an open-casket funeral so Soviet officers had to see what they’d done.

He literally melted in that module - and crashed a couple of minutes later

He’s my personal hero for that sacrifice - and how he tried time and time again to prevent this from happening.

It’s a real shame that he’s almost unknown today - his entire tale was incredibly sad, but it’s also one of great heroism and selflessness.

Никита Хрущев, Герман Титов, Юрий Гагарин. Фото Виктора Ахломова. 9 августа 1961 года.

Nikita Khrushchev, Gherman Titov, Yuri Gagarin. Photo by Victor Akhlomov. August 9, 1961.

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Собака-космонавт Лайка. Первое живое существо, выведенное на орбиту Земли. 1957 год.

Soviet space dog Laika. The first animal to orbit the Earth. 1957.

the Russians and the Moon

(as told by my astronomy prof, and I don’t bother to fact check because it’s too fucking great). My people are assholes and I am so proud. 

so. the Moon has seas, those splashes of the darker basalt rock. and as we had no problems seeing them, they all have nice sounding Latin names, Sea of Tranquility, Ocean of Cries, etc. 

the far side of the Moon, however, we haven’t seen much of. and the general consensus of the International Astronomical Union was that if someone were to fly over, take pictures and discover another sea, it has to be named after a state of mind, following the pattern.

and so it happened, that in 1959 a Soviet probe was the first one to fly over, take pictures and discover exactly one sea on the far side. and what do they do? they name it Mare fucking Moscoviense. the Sea of Moscow. (and all the possible landmarks - after Soviet cosmonauts). 

this is the closest one can get to drawing a dick among the stars in real life.

of course, there is a scandal. the IAU gets together for a yearly conference in Paris or wherenot and tries to figure out how to live on. 

and their solution is the most elegant ‘now go fuck yourself with that dick’ I ever came across.

they decided to acknowledge Moscow as a state of mind.

so if you were ever looking for a scientific justification to say “I feel so moscow” you now have it.