I used to work in a theme park in a line-order restaurant (serving guests and serving employees) some of my stories.
>An elderly British couple came in, the woman asked for tea. I inserted the tea bag, filled the cup with hot water over the bag, capped it, sleeved it, and handed it to her. She looked at me in abject fear and confusion before turning to her husband and asked “An American who knows how to make tea, WHAT IS THIS?”
>A different elderly British couple asked if the Fish and Chips we served was real fish and chips, I told them it was until the health department said we had to stop serving it in news paper. The wife thought this was hilarious.
>A man came through, looked at our menu and said that our food looked good but was way too fatty, I agreed and jokingly said that “you know what they say, a heart attack is just your body’s way of saying ‘I have eaten all the delicious food the world has to offer and now I am ready to die.’” The man thought I had a valid point and ordered a double cheeseburger, his wife was significantly less amused.
>A couple with a young child approached with the distinct repeated sound of air being blown through the souvenir cup straw. The father asks for a refil, after I fill the cup he sighs and with a deflated tone says that he regrets teaching his son how to make noise with the straw. The mother slowly nods her head with pursed lips and a look of “I told you so.”
>A kid asks how much longer the restaurant is open. I tell him that we close when the park does in 360 minutes. Kid freaks thinking everything is about to shut down, so does his dad until he does the math and realizes that that was six hours.
>A platoon of soldiers comes in during our breakfast hours, having a week’s leave after basic before getting sent to their assignment. The each order an English Breakfast (eggs, sausage, country potatoes, fired english muffin) with a Belgian waffle (we only have two waffle makers because we don’t normally get that kind of traffic in the morning) we stop taking breakfast orders at 11. We give the last soldier their breakfast at 1. We have to tell lunch customers we are no longer serving breakfast as we give breakfast to these people idling about.
>Guy from Philadelphia asks if our Philly Cheese Steaks are “real.” I tell him no, describe why. My coworkers are pissed, he thanks me for actually knowing what he asked and orders one. Tells me he can’t tell the difference. I use that in my response from then on.
>Guy from Delaware asks if our Philly CheeseSteaks are “real.” I say no, but people from Philly have said they can’t tell the difference. He orders one, stops me while I’m making it and asks where the Cheese-wiz is. The guy in front of him from Philly angrily asks if he’s from Delaware. The guest angrily replies that he is. A fight almost breaks out. My coworkers learn that I was not joking when I said people from Philly take their Cheese Steaks seriously.
>Man comes in asking for beer, tries to prove his age with an ID held together with scotch tape. Gets pissed when I deny him service and ask for alternate proof of identity.
>Woman tried to use void ID to purchase alcohol. Produces valid ID when asked for alternate ID (she had moved so she had to have her drivers license changed). Insisted that the ID with the word VOID punched into it was still good because it had not yet expired.
>Old woman angrily demanded to know where I was after my day off. Claimed I was the only person in the park who knew how to make fish right, and demanded that I tell my manager that they were no longer allowed to serve fish on days when I was not working.
>Guy in charge of all the restaurants in my area of the park is performing an inspection during set up and decides to QC the aforementioned fish. Declares it to be “nice and flaky, like a lot of the people who work here.”
>Tram driver angrily yells at me for serving hot food that will make him sleepy and crash a tram full of guests. I tell him that I don’t control the menu or food policies and that his meal voucher doesn’t cover the salad bar, which is written on the voucher. He asks how he could be expected to read that when he doesn’t have his glasses?
>See a coworker doing a half-assed job closing as I’m getting ready to clock out at doors. I tell him if he half-asses it he won’t have to answer to one of our supervisors, he’d have to answer to the coworker who has been at the park longer than many of the workers have been alive. He laughs. The next day the elderly coworker demands to know who closed last night, I tell her about my conversation with the closer. She takes closing shift from me so she can “teach” him how to close. He never doubted my cleaning advice again.