southern football

ilvermorny headcanons

ok but imagine

- ilvermorny professors with ridiculous bostonian accents
- ilvermorny professors with thick southern accents
- or midwestern accents
- or native american… or mexican… or canadian
- JUST ACCENTS
- southern students explaining sweet iced tea to their yankee classmates
- the red sox/yankees rivalry being even stronger and deeper than inter-house rivalries
- baseball is a BIG deal at ilvermorny (it’s massachusetts, I mean c'mon)
- mexican, native american, and french-canadian teachers and students slipping into their native languages whenever they get excited or angry
- heated arguments over politics between the horned serpents and the thunderbirds, but the wampuses and pukwudgies being the most inclined to party loyalty
- mexican, native american, and canadian students introducing the american students to foods/festivals/traditions/clothing/stories/etc. of their cultures
- QUINCEAÑERAS AND BAT/BAR MITZVAHS
- cranberry pies and cobblers for desert literally every day
- grumpy pukwudgies everywhere, complaining but never leaving
- actual pukwudgies showing obvious bias toward pukwudgie students
- wampuses being hands-down the best dancers and turning out the most ballerinas and choreographers
- the little old southern lady, who teaches charms, bringing lemonade, sweet tea, and cookies to class everyday
- the red sox curse being ACTUAL dark magic
- the patriots’ LUCK is owed to overenthusiastic wizard/witch fans who can’t help themselves
- this pisses off the students invested in the nfl who aren’t patriots fans (which is most of them)
- southern students bringing college football fanaticism to ilvermorny
- “ROOOOLLLLL TIDE, Y'ALL” “GO VOLS” “LISTEN HERE, MAN, I SAID ROLL TIDE” “IF YOU CUSS AT ME AGAIN LIKE THAT, I’LL-” “BOYS! if I hear another of these arguments again you will both be taking it to detention. hotty toddy, by the way.”
- pukwudgies being killer at potions
- thunderbirds excelling at DADA
- wampuses are the BEST at transfiguration
- horned serpents slaying at divination and arithmancy
- the amount of no-maj positivity is unreal and beautiful
- the best feasts literally ever (sorry, hogwarts)
- THANKSGIVING. CHRISTMAS.
- I N D E P E N D E N C E D A Y
- wow independence day is so off the chain
-illegal fireworks everywhere
- red solo cups littering the grounds
- the horned serpents smuggled the alcohol
- the manchester joke got very serious whenever that was big
- seriously, you didn’t want to try it on a thunderbird. jinxed in a second

Die Allianz Arena is a football stadium in München, Bayern, Southern Germany with 75,024 seating capacity. Widely known for its exterior of inflated ETFE plastic panels, it’s the first stadium in the world with a full color-changing exterior. Located at the northern edge of Munich’s Schwabing-Freimann district, it is the 3rd-largest stadium in Germany behind Signal Iduna in Dortmund and the Olympiastadion in Berlin. The 2 professional Munich football clubs FC Bayern München and TSV 1860 München have played their home games here since 2005. Patrons may park their cars in Europe’s largest parking structure, comprising four 4-story garages with 9,800 parking spots. Another 1,200 spots were built into the first two tiers of the arena, 350 are available for buses; 130 more spots are reserved for people with disabilities.The stadium is located next to the Fröttmaning U-Bahn station on the U6 line of the Munich U-Bahn.

livestream tidbits, vol. 4
  • the most important thing to remember about jack: he thinks about hockey 90% of the time. he has a laser focus on what he needs to do
  • because of this, jack has historically been a terrible boyfriend. it would take a special person to help coax him out of the idea that he needs to live and breathe hockey all the time to prove himself
  • chowder is second generation chinese. his father immigrated when he was a teen and his mother was born in the us. they met at samwell. he has an older sister
  • ngozi has said before that jack is loosely based on sidney crosby, but he’s also based in part on jonathan toews and other intense hockey captains
  • people think lardo is totally cool and perfectly badass all the time, but she has weaknesses, things that she hides. she puts on a mask of being always chill, but she worries about things like looking cool, whether or not someone she likes likes her back. she does have some problems communicating so that’s why, like jack, she befriends outgoing people. she communicates with art
  • no one was managing the team when lardo was abroad in kenya
  • ngozi reminded us that we don’t really know anything about parse (but he will become more important in year four). there is a short storyline about jack’s time in juniors (so parse shows up in flashbacks) in bitty’s junior year
  • bitty has problems with agency and confrontation; he needs to learn to stand up for himself and other people. he is passive aggressive
  • bitty isn’t a good student and isn’t the most responsible person. he procrastinates and doesn’t study
  • being the son of a southern football coach meant bitty grew up as something of a minor celebrity child
  • when jack was born, everyone said ‘oh alicia is a model and bob is a hot hockey player, their child is going to be perfect’ and then jack “oozed” out and everyone was like ‘ooooh… that… did not go as expected’. but then puberty hit and he became a beautiful young man lolol
  • shitty has a huge amount of white guilt and/but will dominate a conversation
  • shitty does not know everything about jack (including, perhaps, his sexuality, whatever that may be…) and would not be that cliche character to orchestrate jack and bitty
  • the team probably has no idea about the thing with jack and bitty - if guys like that see two guys hanging out together a lot, they don’t automatically think “oh they like each other”. they might think bitty has a crush (and maaaaybe think jack is being a bit mean by indulging him with no intention of reciprocation?), but they don’t see where this is going
  • ransom and holster are the bro-trope: they really are the definition of a bromance, with all the implied making fun of two dudes being hetero life partners. humor and serious friend-love
  • chowder is infantilized by bitty, but is also the first person to have a girlfriend (n: “so take that”)
  • jack has dated people; he dated (?? even n says he was cagey about it and weaseled out of the question) camilla collins (who now is captain of the women’s tennis team). it was probably like him saying hi, her suggesting they go out, him saying okay, and her eventually saying “we’re both busy, we should focus on the things we have to do” and him saying “oh, you’re right” and not realizing she was breaking up with him. he might not have even known they were actually dating. he’d walk away going “oh, that was a nice person i knew” 
  • jack on a date: “what are you interested in? how’s your team doing? did they win their last game? what are the weaknesses you’re trying to address?”
  • he would have to date an athlete or someone involved in something consuming; he could, however, be in a successful relationship with someone not into hockey
  • shitty can be very chivalrous if the girl doesn’t mind, but not in a “milady” way, he just really likes taking care of people

garlicbread-slut  asked:

PLEASE dear lord do me a solid and write me that shitty (not shitty) football AU where jack is #starquarterback and coach is the coach (shocker) and bitty is trying to not fall in LOVE with said quarterback bc he is over at his house all the time to get pointers from coach (or so he says)

Okay so…I went a tiny bit off the prompt but A LOT overboard and…this is gonna end up being a pretty long fic.  Here’s chapter one! (AO3 link here)


Eric Bittle met Jack Zimmermann for the first time when he was sixteen years old.  He’d just gotten his driver’s license that afternoon, so mama sent him to pick up Coach from work and surprise his father with the news.  He let himself into Coach’s office and sat in the desk chair, propping his feet on a milk crate full of footballs while he scrolled through his email.  Eric fired off replies to comments on the latest figure skating video he’d posted on YouTube until he heard voices coming down the hall and the door swung open.

“Junior?  Well ain’t this a surprise!  Where’s your mother?” Coach asked, smiling broadly under his moustache.  

“She’s at home,” Eric told him, hopping up out of the chair and pulling his temporary license out of his back pocket to show him.

“What’s this?”

“Mama took me to the DMV this morning for my road test, I passed!”  Coach crowded in close to squint down at the grainy black and white photo on the paper temp.

“Well would you look at that.  Congrats, Junior.”  Coach clapped Eric on the shoulder.  “Now why don’t you repay me for those lessons by giving me and Jack here a ride?” he gestured to the boy hovering uncomfortably in the doorway and Eric’s heart skipped a little in his chest.  He’d only ever seen Jack from a distance, watching games up in the bleachers with his mother, and seeing him in person was worlds different.  He wasn’t just a generically muscular dude scurrying around the field; Eric could see how handsome he was.  All the guys on Coach’s team had nice bodies, and it was something he’d just kind of tuned into radio static a long time ago because usually their faces were generic and their eyes skipped right over Eric once it was clear he wasn’t one of them.  Jack’s face was beautiful though, with high cheekbones and pink lips, his big nose looking perfectly suited to sit below intense blue eyes.

“Sure thing!”  He held out his hand to Jack.  “Eric Bittle, nice to meet you.”  Jack seemed relieved to know his place in the conversation again, and almost smiled as he shook Eric’s hand.

“Nice to meet you too.  Jack Zimmermann.”  He pulled back and scratched at the back of his head, before adding, “Um, your dad talks about you a lot.”  

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