south harris

au where everything’s the same except Remus talks like an old southern woman.

“Y'all please”

“Harry, Harry… Bless your heart”

“Severus, I swear to the Lord, if you don’t shut your trap this instant, I’ll stick a sock in in for you”

*puts hands over Harry’s ears* “Little ears, you silly fucking asshat”

“Well, Harry, back when I was a boy”

*something happens* “Well, I never”

And who could forget:

“Sirius Black… Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit”

i have had the unfortunate opportunity to grow up in a part of the south, and i heard pretty much all of these things at some point in my life. i’m not exaggerating. feel free to add.

Reblog if you’ve ever read fan-fiction that actually set the bar higher.
  • Newt: [singing as he colors eggs] In my Easter bonnet/ with all my frills upon it,/ I'll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade.
  • Newt: [holding up a finished egg] Look at that one, huh? Half-purple and half-yellow with a chickadee sticker. I'm good.
  • Graves: Can I ask a question? Why do we do this?
  • Newt: Wha... what do you mean, "Why do we do this?" It's Easter!
  • Graves: Right, so why do we color eggs?
  • Newt: Well... so that the Easter bunny can find them.
  • Graves: Yeah, but why?
  • Newt: Percy, Easter celebrates the day that Jesus was resurrected after being crucified for our sins.
  • Graves: So we dip eggs in colored vinegar and a giant rabbit hides them?
  • Newt: [still coloring eggs] That's right.
  • Graves: You don't see the missteps in logic with that? Look, I'm just saying that somewhere between Jesus dying on the cross and a giant bunny hiding eggs there seems to be a... a gap of information.
  • Newt: Percy, just dye your goddamn eggs!
2

I don’t think that, I’m sorry sir… Durmstang Institute has very strict rules and the holidays are very rare. The only chance I have to see him is the Triwizard Tournament  and we don’t know yet which school is going to be held.

Also I don’t have no other brothers besides Romano. However I have an handsome cousin! His name is Sebastiano and he is from Gryffindor! I really like him..while Romano don’t really– He really hates all the people of that house.
My roomate is from Romania and his name is Vladimir. Sometimes he is very scary! He is an animagus…unfortunatelly… because I am very scared of bats! And he keeps scaring me during the night! So scary…

Regarding my brother.. he seems very cold and rude but he is very sweet on the inside! I still remember when i was declared an Hufflepuff by the Hat and he was like *Thank God you are not a Gryffindor*. I don’t know why but he really despise them.. Sebas too! However whe are really close and he always supported me when Ludwig left me alone with Kiku…

dailymail.co.uk
Meet the college student Harry Styles wrote the song 'Carolina' about

The mystery girl who pop star Harry Styles wrote about in love song ‘Carolina’ is a beautiful 20-year-old college student he met on a blind date, DailyMail.com can reveal.

The star was clearly bowled over by pretty brunette Townes Adair Jones who he met in Los Angeles a couple of years ago.

And the One Direction heartthrob decided to include her - and details of their memorable liaison - on his self-titled debut solo album.

DailyMail.com can reveal that Styles, 23, met Townes through mutual friends of her sister, actress Gilland Jones, while on a break from recording his album.

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aziz ansari’s highly specific representation of immigrants (his parents speak tamil, not with some highly anglicized boarding school indian accent) is something i thought i’d never see on a mainstream series. aiyyo, chumma iri, poda - who thought they’d hear those words on an american comedy show in 2015?