It’s not so much the graduation announcement that bugs me, though. I’d seen it coming for a long time.
It’s more of…
You know; When you’ve been told all your life that you can achieve something as long as you work hard and work smart, and you do just that, and everything works out just fine for you for a while. You put in effort, play by the rules, and things go swimmingly well for the first ten, twenty years of your life. You trip up a few times along the way, but you’re smart enough to pick yourself up, learn from your mistakes, and move on a better person.
And then here comes this one obstacle that blocks your way. Your conventional methods don’t work against it. You fail once, maybe twice to overcome it. You think to yourself, “Alright, this isn’t the first time I’ve failed. Let me modify my approach and try again.”
But no. You fail again. And again. And again. And again. And again. No matter how many alternative methods you try, nothing works. Can’t get over, under or around it no matter what you do. For every bit of experience you’ve picked up over your years of problem-solving and troubleshooting, nothing works against it.
And for once, you are truly broken. You’ve thrown yourself against this immovable object again and again and again and again so many times, that you are left shattered, disillusioned, and simply on the brink.
And for once, you truly give up. You throw your hands up in exhaustion, your mind, body and spirit absolutely demolished. You have never felt more like a failure in your life.
I’ve been there before. And while I can’t claim to know what Mayu is thinking right now, I know the feeling isn’t pleasant at all.
I’m sorry for the long rant. I just needed some time to clear my head.
To everyone who voted for me, thank you so, so, so, much.
I’m NGT48 Team N III’s “Ogiyuka" or Ogino Yuka.
From 6th grade in elementary school, I’ve always admired AKB48.
For 4 years, I took auditions. I kept failing every one, and wondered if I should just give up and continue admiring AKB from afar.
At that time, I participated in the Draft Kaigi. Kitaraha Rie-san, Kashiwagi Yuki-san, and the executive Imamura-san selected me to be in NGT48.
Although I felt insecure and would live by myself, I moved to Niigata.
I believe my family was really worried. But now I definitely think, “I’m so glad I came to Niigata.”
I was the last pickings, the leftovers. Dreams definitely don’t come true, and something like “hard work will definitely be rewarded” was obviously a lie! I thought that for forever!
But for those 4 years, no matter what I wanted to be in the AKB48G, so I kept taking auditions with all my might.
Then, when I got 1st place in the preliminaries, I was really surprised, and I know everyone was thinking, “who’s Ogino Yuka?” “why is it this person?”
I myself was also very surprised.
“I wonder if I broke the AKB48 sousenkyo.” There were times I thought so.
Even so, I’ll take the love I’ve received from everyone and accept it with all my heart.
Now, in the sousenkyo of the AKB48G I’ve always admired, receiving such a wonderful ranking is like a dream.
I’m really glad that I kept taking AKB auditions until now without giving up, and it makes me really happy to have fans who are there to cheer me on.
I asked Takahashi Minami-san, “will hard work definitely be rewarded?” She said, “I don’t know if hard work will definitely be rewarded, but in working hard, there is nothing that has no meaning.”
Then she said, “next time, show me that hard work will definitely be rewarded, ok?”
Am I showing you that hard work will definitely be rewarded right now?
Surely, in this situation, I believe there are many people who were unable to reach their goal and are experiencing frustration.
For those people, I hope they will listen to my catchphrase, “no matter what happens, I won’t get discouraged!”
It’s really, really all thanks to everyone who supported me! For carrying someone like me all the way here, thank you so, so much, and also, thank you very much for making me into an idol!
I definitely want to connect this result to NGT’s debut two years ago, and I want to work hard for AKBG’s sake too. Please let me do my best! I think it’s still far away for me to become an existence that you’ll entrust AKB to, but I’ll work hard with all my might from now on, so please cheer me on.
Translations of some comments on her speech:
“Ogiyuka’s fine speech”
“I wonder if there’s anyone who can watch this Ogiyuka and not like her??” –“Honestly at preliminaries I was like "who’s that?” but after listening to her speech I immediately became a fan. It’s great that her hardships were rewarded.“
"I feel like I’ve figured out why that girl named Ogino attracts people”
“To be honest I didn’t know Ogiyuka-chan until the preliminaries, but out of all the speeches this year, her’s resonated in my heart the most. I want to cheer on that girl who is so pure and straightforward.”
“No matter how many times I watch this, I cry. The best kami speech. I’m so happy her hard work was rewarded. Ogiyuka, thanks for coming to Niigata. This is the start line. Everyone’s cheering for you.”
“The line for Ogiyuka’s graph is almost vertical…”
“Even if Ogiyuka ‘broke the sousenkyo,’ it’s for AKBG’s sake, the future’s sake. This year was a good sousenkyo.”
“I definitely support Ogiyuka~~~~ There was actually still such a hard working girl in the 48G!”
“I cried at Ogiyuka’s speech. It’s the first time I’ve cried lol"
Depending on who you ask, last night was either the best
Sousenkyo in 48G history, or the worst, or in my case, a little bit of both. Starting
from the atrocious beachside weather, down to the final speech in that concert
hall in Okinawa, the events of the past 48 hours were so polarizing, that it made
Dai Sokaku Matsuri 2014 look like a birthday party. This is the first time a
48G event has left me with so many more questions than answers. As much as I
try to make sense of the numbers, I am still left in this state of confusion.
But let’s try to see if we can find the order in this chaos.