source: unblinking

Wonder

I wonder why I wonder
how I lost my wonder for the world
it was painted in every colour
sounds was
faces were not ugly
words were healing
the earth wasn’t screaming.

I wonder why I wonder
how I can’t take back my wonder for the world
with an open mind
open arms
steady breath
strong beating heart
I shall endure the pain
for it to teach me how to smile again.

Do you remember the days you will stop in front of my house?
Do you remember the times we went for lunch with just you and your mother?
Do you remember the day I was introduced to your family members?
I guess you forgot, it doesn’t matter.
Do you remember laughing at my jokes?
Do you remember how I laughed at yours?
My mistake, I should’ve forgot.
Do you remember painting together?
Do you remember driving me home in your suit and tie and me in my first skirt?
Do you remember us working together?
My apologies, you were too tired to remember.
Do you remember that night we went for dinner?
Do you remember sitting in a circle?
Do you remember my eyes when you said it was her?
No, I shouldn’t have remembered.
I am sorry I was hot chocolate when all along you wanted was a tall glass of iced lemon tea.
Do you remember why you didn’t want me?
Do you remember what you said?
Because that was something I’ll remember forever.
Fuck you.
One day, I’ll make you regret you didn’t drink hot chocolate.

I wonder why I wonder
how I lost my wonder of the world
it was painted in colours
sounds were music
faces were not ugly
words were healing
the earth wasn’t screaming.

I wonder why I wonder
how I can’t take back my wonder of the world
with an open mind
open arms
steady breath
strong beating heart
I endure pain
for it to teach me how to smile again.