source : parks and rec

Tony: I’ll give you a few minutes to cancel the rest of your plans for the day.

Peter: No need. My only plan was to buy Skittles.

  • Lup: Maybe I die. Skydiving explosion. And then you go and marry Barry. And it makes me sad. But if he's gotta be with somebody, I'd like it to be you.
  • Taako: Strange, but sweet.
  • Lup: Only, I didn't really die. I was faking it. And I come back. I spy on you from my red Corvette. And I'm planning to kick your ass, but I see how happy you make him and I have to walk away. I have to. And I do, slowly, in a rainstorm.
  • Davenport: Okay, this isn't really in the spirit of what we're trying to do...
  • Lup: But as time goes on, it eats away at me. You're out there living it up with my husband. And I'm alone, in a cave. Training.
  • Davenport: Anyone else want to chime in?
  • Lup: I thought you were my brother...I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BROTHER!

The Real Civil War

Strange, holding a broken coffee machine: Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Mantis: … I did it. I broke it.

Strange: No. No, you didn’t. Drax?

Drax: Don’t look at me, look at Quill.

Quill: What? I didn’t break it!

Drax: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Quill: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Drax: Suspicious.

Quill: No, it’s not!

Thor: If it matters, Stark’s son was the last one to use it.

Peter: What?! I don’t even drink that crap!

Thor: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart?

Peter: I was gathering sugar packets for Mr. Stark‘s morning latte!

Mantis: Let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it.

Strange: No. Who broke it?

Gamora: … Rocket‘s been awfully quiet.

Rocket: Really?

Gamora: Yeah!

(everyone’s yelling ensues)

*later*

Strange: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Raymond Holt: When people get a little too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.

Gina Linetti: That’s a genius move.

Raymond: Thank you.

Gina: You’re welcome, Richard.

Jughead: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One

Jughead: Toni codename, Been there done that

Jughead: Betty is Currently doing that *high five*

Jughead: Cheryl is It happened once in a dream

Jughead: Fangs codename, If I had to pick a guy

Jughead: and Sweet Pea is Eagle Two

Sweet Pea: Oh thank god

Felix: Who lost the house points? I’m not mad. I just wanna know.

Rowan: I did. I lost them.

Felix: No. No you didn’t. Barnaby?

Barnaby: Don’t look at me. Look at Merula!

Merula: What! I didn’t lose them!

Barnaby: Huh that weird. How’d you even know we lost points?

Merula: Because the house cup is right in front of us and we’re in last!

Barnaby: Suspicious.

Merula: No, it’s not!

Ismelda: If it matters, probably not…MC was arguing with Snape in class earlier.

MC: Liar! I wasn’t even in potions today!

Ismelda: Oh really? Then what were you doing outside the classroom?

MC: I was heading back to the common room and potions is next door. Everybody knows that!

Rowan: All right, let’s not fight. I lost the points, let me make up for it, Felix.

Felix: No. Who lost the points?

Merula: Sir, Barnaby’s been quiet ever since he accused me.

Barnaby: Really?!

Merula: Yeah, really!

Felix: I lost the house points. I burned my hand in potions so I punched the table and broke it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each others throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Felix: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Codenames

Natasha: Codenames. Mine is Spider One.

Natasha: Bruce is “Been There, Done That.”

Natasha: Clint is “Currently Doing That.”

Natasha: Barnes is “It Happened Once in a Dream.”

Natasha: Rogers is “If I Had to Pick a (Different) Dude.”

Natasha: Parker is “Spider Two.”

Peter: Oh, thank God.

MC: we’re gonna need code names. I’m “eagle one”

MC: Rowan is “been there done that”

MC: Penny is “currently doing that”

MC: Ben is “it happened once in a dream”

MC: Bill is “if I had to pick someone older”

MC: and Merula is… “eagle two”

Merula: oh thank Merlin.

Chloe: [holding a broken coffee machine] Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just want to know.

Adrien: …I did. I broke it.

Chloe: No. No, you didn’t. Alya?

Alya: Don’t look at me, look at Nino.

Nino: What?! I didn’t break it!

Alya: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Nino: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Alya: Suspicious.

Nino: No, it’s not!

Sabrina: If it matters, probably not but…Marinette was the last one to use it.

Marinette: Liar, I don’t even drink that crap!

Sabrina: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Marinette: I use the wooden stirrers as part of my art projects, everyone knows that, Sabrina!

Adrien: Okay, okay, let’s not fight, I broke it. Let me pay for it, Chloe.

Chloe: No. Who broke it?

Kim: Chloe…Alix has been really quiet this whole time…

Alix: Really?!

Kim: Yeah!

Alix: Oh my God!

[arguing ensues]

Chloe, looking at the camera: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.