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(2) "Stuff that's been said in the chatroom" Sentence Starter meme

(( LAST ONE I SWEAR - and so finally, my memes are off my hands… @roaringheart ))

———

“In what context should I take that.”

“That feeling when you’re creeping around and your target is creeping harder than you.”

“The worst part about it is it’s [muse name].”

“I am a doctor, I got my doctorate while torturing people.”

“Sometimes I look at my hands and find random marks of blood ????”

“Why do I keep coming in at the weird moments.”

“Define ‘flattering.’”

“I have found the source of the blood.”

“Is it a lot of blood?”

“First it was the drunks and weed, the bath salts and face eating, now this.”

“[muse name] is treating themselves bleeding like a minor inconvenience.”

“WatER IS WET [muse name] WATER IS WET BUT Y'ALL DIDNT BELIEVE ME!”

“What is this… sleep?”

“Holy crap, you’re in 13th grade.”

“Don’t put that in the sentence meme.”

“Stop destroying things.”

“That was funnier in my head.”

“I will secure your buttocks with my hand.”

“Sometimes I fear for my hair.”

“Why can’t I have kitty thigh highs.”

“I don’t need your sass, [muse name].”

“Does it taste as good as it smells?”

“That was one of the best jokes I’ve ever heard tbh I couldn’t top that.”

“Get back here, you can’t just trigger me and leave.”

“I mean I’m gonna blow it up but ykno.”

“YOU’RE NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO STAY HOME ALONE WITHOUT A BABYSITTER.”

“…… What the heck is golden juice ?? Pee ??”

“YOU’RE ALL GROUNDED !”

“YOU ARE JUST A CHICKEN !”

“Your ex just tackled me in a fit of passion.”

“HIT HER !!! WITH A STICK !!!!!”

“I’LL SHOW YOU OUT OF HAND !!”

“Do we have to adopt [insert name]?”

“MY DARLING PROTECT ME OUR BABY IS BROKEN”

“DON’T TOUCH THE PRECIOUS MINT LEAF”

“#KEEP[insertname]PURE2K16”

“I WANNA FEEL YOUR STARE BURN HOLES IN ME !”

“HOW ARE YOU THAT BLIND YOURE USUALLY THE SHARPEST OUTTA THE GROUP NEXT TO [insert name]”

“[muse name] IS ON THE STABBING BLOCK.”

“I need to make a bubble at least once with this lollipop gum.”

(Stares at [muse A], whispers) “[muse B]’s mine now.”

“THERE WAS NO FAMILY YOU STUPID NARC”

“I’m much saltier than I realized.”

“I have to decide whether or not I’m gonna lie.”

“It’s never ‘nothing’ with you, [muse name].”

“Never have I felt so pressured to eat pretzels wtf.”

“ITS NOT EVEN SUBTLE, THEY ARE KINKSTERS!”

“One time, I did the Macarena to a song that was not the Macarena song.”

“I enjoy not talking to [muse name].”

“My internet died because it couldn’t handle my waifu.”

“I feel like I just watched a car crash in slow motion.”

“Meh why meme when you can sleep. Better yet, why not meme WHILE you sleep?”

“Are you actually intoxicated.”

“Go back to bed, it’s daddies time.”

“NYOOOOM”

“You want pizza ? You’re dead.”

“I JUST DAB-SLAPPED [muse name]’S FACE!”

“Don’t do anything illegal.”

“Time to do something illegal.”

“IS [muse name] THE FATHER!?”

“I thought you said my hair was pregnant and I was like…. what.”

“I only accept kisses with lipstick color coral blue number 2.”

“Is it too late to return these friends for another set?”

“I’m Shrek no longer.”

“Why are you awake. You need to sleep at night.”

“You just swore like three times.”

“How can an idiot like me drop a titanium baseball bat in their eye?”

“Goor ebiufh.”

“Friknu.”

“I cant believe im in the middle of a child custody battle.”

“Believe in the power of booby.”

“It’s like a man period.”

“if only [muse name] hadn’t made a chew toy outta him during his man period.”

“Frik, these pajama pants are too hot to wear; why did I put them on.”

“Frickety frack, this replica’s whack.”

“I think I accidentally made a [insert thing here].”

“Dwarven Vow #420: Blaze it after you glaze it.”

“Bye, [muse name], don’t die in math.”

“Time to keep talking to Shrek.”

“Then suddenly you hear trumpets.”

“I don’t want to fight my husband.”

“Would you fight my husband ?”

“I don’t think I’m putting this game down for another 18 hours.”

“Do not Dad Joke the Dad.”

THE SIGNS AS PICK-UP LINES
  • Aries: Are you my appendix? Because I have no idea how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
  • Taurus: Do you have a name or should I just call you mine?
  • Gemini: Spell me. (M-E) You forgot the D. (There isn't a D in me.) NOT YET!
  • Cancer: You look a lot like my future husband, I promise to take great care of you and our kids.
  • Leo: I'd rate you a nine out of ten, only because I'm the one you're missing.
  • Virgo: I may not be photographer, but I can picture you and I together.
  • Libra: You remind me of the sun because you constantly brighten up my world.
  • Scorpio: If I had a dollar for every time I thought of you, then I'd only have one dollar because you never left my thoughts after the first time.
  • Sagittarius: You must not of took your vitamins today because you look like you're lacking in vitamin me.
  • Capricorn: If you were a triangle, you'd be a right triangle because you're ALWAYS right!
  • Aquarius: I'm good at math ok. U + I = 69, and the value of I is 59 because U are a 10.
  • Pisces: You must be a masterpiece because I want to pin you up against a wall and admire you whenever I see you.
  • Peter: [looking around] Where's Wade?
  • Tony: Somewhere disappointing Jesus.
  • Evan: Bad News - Cynthia locked the keys inside the building.
  • Evan: Good News - We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.
  • Evan: Bad News - Cynthia finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute boys.
  • Evan: Good News - A cute boy saw me do it.
  • Evan: Bad News - It was Connor, and since he’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, he’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. He knows
INTx Flirting
  • INTP: I like your new pants.
  • INTJ: Thanks, they were 50% off.
  • INTP: I'd like them better if they were 100% off.
  • INTJ: The store can't just give away clothes for free.
  • INTP: That's not what I me-
  • INTJ: That's a terrible way to run a business.
  • Later that day
  • INTJ: ...and then INTP said they would like them better 100% off.
  • ENTJ: How did you reply?
  • INTJ: That's a terrible way to run a business.
  • ENTJ: *facepalm* INTP WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU!
  • INTJ: ...oh.