soup nose

1/7/2017-1/9/2017 Soup-Nose The Goat has some swelling under her jaw. We suspect bottlejaw (fluid retention caused by anemia). Anemia in goats is usually a parasite issue, so we wormed her, and I drove to the hippie feed store and bought some of the fancy organic sweetfeed to try and convince her to eat a bunch of delicious nutrition. Even Soup Nose’s Olympic-class food fussiness is no match for sweetfeed.

Sweetfeed is made of corn, molasses, oats, various trace vitamins, and tiny shavings from a shining blue meteor that landed in the Darkhad Valley in Mongolia in 1953. The workers who harvest the meteor cover their ears so they can’t hear it singing to them.

Sweetfeed smells amazing. I have genuinely considered cooking it like oatmeal and eating it myself. My google history is full of searches for cornflake and molasses cookies, gingerbread cornmeal cookies, something, anything. Internet forums are thronged with people wondering how to make moonshine out of it. It smells like molasses and raisins and cornbread and coming home to the family you never knew you had after a long time wandering in the dusty dark between worlds.

We have to keep a brick on top of the bin with sweetfeed in it, because otherwise the feral cats sneak into the barn and eat it. 

The cats try to eat goat food.

(Seriously. I tell a lot of lies on this blog. That is not one of the lies. It’s uncanny stuff.

Also, if you know any recipes that involve molasses and cornflakes, please send them to me, the smell is driving me mad.)


11/19 For about a week, I have been trying to solve the Mystery of the Unwelcome Bedtime. Soup-Nose will NOT go to sleep no matter what we do.

On an entirely unrelated note, about a week ago we finally gave up on finding another apple crusher and finishing this year’s cider. We started feeding the leftover apples to the goats. Also completely unrelatedly, Soup-Nose really likes the squishiest, brownest, most fermented apples. She just shoves her nose right into them. Splurch.

The Blue-Haired Girlfriend (who is definitely the brains of the operation) pointed out the obvious today: Soup-Nose won’t go to sleep because she is Drunk And Busy Yelling At Clouds.


I hope your surgery goes well! 🙏🏼🙏🏼 Could you do being best friends with witch!EXO-CBX headcanons plz? Sending good vibes! You can make it through this 💕💕💕

★none of them have a found the one thing they want to focus on 

★so they all dabble in everything

★they invite you over to watch them practice

★they explain everything

★and tell stories on how they discovered the spells

★’when we were first trying them out, jongdae turned baekhyun into a frog’

★if you hang out with one of them

★the others get jealous




★baekhyun makes everyone thing you’re dating

★bc he holds your hand

★and stays close to you

★kisses your head alot too   

★protective af

★if somebody even looks the wrong way at you 

★they’re going to have a bad day 

★maybe a crack will open up in the pavement?

★maybe they’ll hallucinate something awful?

★maybe their coffee will be spilled all over their outfit   

★nobody messes with their angel 

★you live with them 90% of the time

★you sleep with them alot

★bc you either all fall asleep on the sofa

★or you get in one bed to mess around for a bit

★and fall asleep there

★they’re the best when it comes to nightmares 

★they’ll wrap you in a blanket 

★wrap themselves around you 

★and sing to you to calm you

★’nothing will get past us’

★’we’ll protect you from anything’

★’we promise’ 

★if you ever get ill

★these three are going to be all over you 

★minseok will create a concoction that will help  

★while chenbaek get to cuddling you 

★they treat you like a complete baby 

★they’ll spoon feed you soup 

★help blow your nose

★help you walk around

★when they let you walk around

★they’d prefer if you stay on the sofa

★’don’t get too close. i don’t want you guys getting sick too’

★’worth it to cuddle you’

★matching pyjamas with your names on the back

★jongdae really likes playing with your hair

★whenever you’re near him

★his fingers will find their way to your hair

★tbh it’s just a habit now

★he’s no idea it’s happening

★once convinced you they actually wear striped socks and witch hats

★by dressing up for their ritual in the stereotypical witch outfits

★if you ever have a date

★they’ll thoroughly check out the person you’re going with 

★’if they do anything, you call us’

★’we’ll be there to sort them out’ 

★’i can sort myself out, guys’

★’CALL US’    

★they bought you a bracelet that has their initials as charms

★along with a hat charm

★and broom charm

current work

Heya~ Holidays are in progress and so is demo work. 

- Changed the intro; added a CG sketch, revised Arnika’s dialogue/monologue to show more character.

- Added floors to Arnika’s house. Still need to add details and fix some small bugs.

- Made cute facesets for the menu. (Didn’t want to spoil, but also ehhhhhh I want to show something already.) Arnika’s old with minor tweaks but the rest are brand new~

- Changed some maps in Arnika’s house to be smaller/nicer-looking.

(Old and new. Also spoilers but also ehhhhh whatever. Might add more changes later, but I’m quite pleased with this.)

- Also, got distracted from uni work only to spend 3 hours writing and figuring out endings, again. I think I got it in the end, I’ll make a flowchart later… Hopefully it’s not too confusing to play.

- Got another piece of music :>

- Started sketching battlers and figuring out some things about elements/battles in general. Wondering how to make them RPG-parody-ish but also not too annoying, and how to do hints.

The demo to-do list is still huge, but things are happening.  The last 10% are the last 90% indeed.

2/18 Hickory Roasted Almonds, a play by Soup-Nose The Goat.

Soup-Nose: I see you have almonds. Can I have one?

Me: No, they’re too salty for goats.

Soup-Nose: Almond! Give me the the almond. 

Soup-Nose: Nobody has ever in the history of the universe wanted anything as badly as I want this almond. The strong nuclear force pales in comparison to my attraction to your almonds. 

Soup-Nose: Some goats just want to watch the world burn, you know. Goats who don’t have almonds right now.

Me: All right, all right. Here you go.

Soup-Nose: Aauuu! Salty! 

Soup-Nose runs to the water bucket, sticks her head into it, and sprays water everywhere, splashing a very surprised peacock who had been flirting with a Sexy Fence Post. The peacock flies off and sits on top of the goat shed, making angry squeaktoy noises.

Soup-Nose: Whew, that was awful.

Soup-Nose: Hey, are those almonds? Can I have one?

anonymous asked:

Because I am trash, how would Guzma propose to his (female) s/o?

• He’d be nervous
• Like dating was hard enough but marriage?
• Fuck him in the ass with a chainsaw
• Honestly, he is just so nervous
• He saved enough money to not buy the cheapest one but not buy the most expensive because money is still short
• He gets one with that has a thin band and the diamond is squared that has silver bands gripping the diamond into place
• He has it placed into a black velvet box and keeps it hidden behind his alcoholic drinks
• Guzma, as confident as he is, tries to make sure that you will say yes because while he’s sure that you love him, he doesn’t want his heart to break
• He’ll add in movies that have proposal scenes and look to see your reaction
• He’ll notice that you’ll start tearing up at the whole going down on one knee and proposer stating things about their loved ones
• That’s when he realizes he hasn’t practiced at all
• He’ll immediately start sweating and tense up
• Once you’re asleep, he’ll go to the roof and start jotting things down about what he loves about you
• For like thirty minutes, he’s sitting there thinking about what he could write
• He loves you and he knows why but he can’t put it into words
• He’ll take you out to dinner at this high class restaurant
• He’s wearing a suit and it looks good at him
• It hugs his muscles and while it may be a little tight, it looks damn well on him
• After dinner, you guys take a walk at Hano beach
• When the moon is high, he’ll wait till your back is turned and when you turn around, he’s on his knees
• You bring your hands up to cover your mouth and he smirks when he hears a gasp
• He looks down and clears his throat
• “I love you, You know that, I know that. Hell, I’m pretty sure Kukui knows. And I decided that I want to spend more time with you. While you can be annoying, I love everything about you. I love the sounds you make when you yawn. How you slurp your soda and soup. How your nose crinkles when you smile. How different your laughs are. From cackling to giggles to that silent laughter you get when you laugh too hard. Everything about you is beautiful. So…. Will you take this gorgeous piece of shit as your fiancé?”
• When you say yes, he breaks out into this huge grin and holds you and spins you around
• He places a big, wet kiss on you while dipping you
• He’ll then proceed to make love with you on the beach

Let Me Take Care of You | Jackson Wang

Description: You are Jackson’s girlfriend. You have a happy relationship with him since he treated you so well and always took care of you. It’s not until you hear that he became ill to where he was sent to the hospital that you start to feel guilty that you never took good care of him like he always does for you.

Originally posted by j-miki

A/N: I wrote this scenario after hearing what happened to Jackson. I and IGot7 wish him a full recovery. I’m pretty sure others will agree that if Jackson were ever sick like this that we would drop everything and go take care of him. He works so hard for us that sometimes he forgets to take care of himself and realize where his limits are. When he thinks about us agase he never stops to look after himself so I wish that in the future he keeps a better eye on his health.


Word Count: 1,171

I am a caring person. I always want to make sure that everyone around me is okay. I like to see those who are always around me smiling, especially when they are the source of my happiness. That’s where Jackson Wang comes in. I met him when I was a trainee and he had already debuted as a rookie in Got7. We became close in friends then it led to a more serious relationship then neither of us expected to happen. He is so kind and full of love that he leaves a huge impression on you after meeting him. He treats his fans like he treats me because every time he sees them and meets them he wants them to feel loved like a boyfriend.

Jackson takes really good care of me. He always makes sure that I’ve eaten, that I’ve slept well, that I’m happy. He is my ray of sunshine. I’m grateful for his attention and love that he gives me. Whenever I hear that bad things have happened to him, like getting into a car accident because his fans were chasing him, I feel like he never deserves anything bad to happen to him since he treats everyone like how he wants to be treated.

When I heard that he was taken to the hospital because he was severely sick, my chest tightened as I thought back to the last time I spoke to him. I had complained about my schedule when I didn’t even ask him how he was feeling. If I had known how bad his condition was I would’ve made time to see him and take care of him because I know he would do the same for me.

Once Jackson was released from the hospital and put on bed rest I made sure to make time to spend with him. I brought food by the Got7 dorm to help Jackson get some of his energy back. The dorm is quite since the rest of the members are promoting their new album.

I stirred the soup with the spoon and blow air to cool it down, “Have some more.” I bring the spoon to his lips as he slurps it. He looks pale and so weak that I’m scared to even hug him so he won’t waste the energy he has left.

“Y/N, you should eat too.”

“I’ll eat when you finish eating. You need food in your stomach so you can take your medicine.”

He takes a few more spoonfuls of soup, “Didn’t you have a show to shoot today?”

I shrug my shoulders, “It’s okay, and the girls can do it without me.”

“But you’re their leader, Y/N. You should be with them.”

“Jackson, it’s fine. One shoot won’t make me the worst leader. You shouldn’t be alone when you’re sick anyways.”

I take a sip of water in order to loosen the huge knot I have in my throat from holding back the tears that are peaking through my waterline.

“Jagi,” Jackson calls to me placing his hand on my wrist, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, the steam from the soup is causing my nose to run.” I couldn’t let him see me worried about him when he needs to focus on getting better.

Before I could come up with a new subject to talk about he takes the bowl out of my hand and sets it on the table beside the bed. He pulls me into his arms and keeps me swaddled in his embrace.

“I’m okay, jagi. Please don’t cry. You’re not as pretty when you cry. You are the most beautiful when you smile.” He whispers in my ear while combing my hair with his fingers.

I let a few drops run down my face, “How can I not cry when I complain about stupid things that are going on with my schedule and I didn’t even think about what you were going through.”

“I like it when you talk about your concerns with me. You trust me enough to lean on me for support.”

“You should do the same. I want to hear your problems and what’s bothering you. You tell agase that they should take care of themselves and to never stress because you’re always beside them but who’s looking out for you when you’re like this?”

“Yes, I have worries and stress but it never bothers me because when I see you I forget what was bothering me in the first place.”

“Still, you shouldn’t hide it especially when it involves your health. You can act like your fine about your feelings but your body won’t cooperate with you when you want it to.”

“I know, but agase wait so long to meet us that I don’t want to let them down because of a little upset stomach.”

I slap his arm, “Upset stomach? You vomited and you had to be carried out of the building trait to a hospital. You’re not a hundred percent. Agase understands if you’re not well. Your health comes first to them. If you die because you refused to get treated for you sickness then how are they gonna feel knowing you gave your life for them. They love you…almost as much as I do.”

He smirks at me with those adorable stares of his as I completely go off ranting about his health and fans.

“I don’t want to see you getting upset about missing some performances because you matter first.” I sniff the gross mucus coming from my sinus caused by the thought of Jackson tolerating the pain he was going through at that fan meeting but having so much ambition to see it through to the end.


It makes me realize how similar Jackson and I are. We both keep out emotions to ourselves in order to not burden anyone with our issues that can be dealt with on our own.

Jackson takes my cheeks in his strong hands to wipe my tear with his thumbs. He pulls my face closer to him to give me a loving kiss to my lips.

I always wish nothing but good things for Jackson, for him to succeed with Got7 and in life in generally. If for some reason we’re no longer together and he finds someone else to share his life with, I will give him my support to the fullest as long as he is happy where he is.

We stay in place with our foreheads touching for a while in silence until Jackson speaks again.

“Jagi,” I hum a reply, “I think the soup gave me gas.”

anonymous asked:

I woke up super sick today. Do you think you could do some Gabe and sick reader HC?

Gabe can see you getting sick before you know you’re getting sick and tries to start you on a medicine regiment before it gets worse

But if you still end up sick, he is ushering you to your bed, no if, ands or buts about it

He is the gruff mother hen. ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing, go back to bed.’ ‘Oh yeah, you’d totally be able to work like this, go back to sleep Y/N’ ‘If you try and sneak out again I’m going to throw you over my shoulder and sit on you to make sure you can’t leave.’ and when you start getting really achy/antsy he pulls out the unfair lines. ‘Mi amor, please rest, for me?’

On top of regular medicine, he goes old school. You are getting vapor rub on your chest and under your nose, homemade soup, a hot toddy, and sweating it out. None of that biotics, it helps to build your immune system.

He is there with you when your body aches and you’re sweating, he’s gently patting down your face with a cool cloth and kissing your forehead, changing your pajamas when you sweat through them and making you drink the tea or water

He is also hovering constantly, like that few days your sick, you don’t know it until you’re well but he is working from your room. He has set up a command station and wanders between that you you for the entirety of your illness

He won’t accept your thank you when you’re all better telling you that he’d do it again in a heartbeat


Last night, a coyote smashed its way through the wooden wall of the hen house and ate the Disgruntled Viking Chicken. We’ll miss her.

We never intended to end up with a Disgruntled Viking Chicken. We’d gone to the feed store to buy Rhode Island Red chicks, but there was also one little ball of yellow fluff who’d gotten her head stuck in the food dish, peeping angrily. I thought that was cute, and so we ended up with one yellow Buff Orpington along with our flock of sleek red-orange rhodies. The rhodies would sit on the Blue Haired Girlfriend’s lap, watching TV and being petted, while the Disgruntled Viking Hen investigated the edibility of such culinary delights as “electrical cords” and “socks.”

We probably shouldn’t have been surprised when head-stuck-in-food-dish chick grew into a hungry yellow fluffsphere with feet. She stalked frogs in the duckpond, dismembered them with disturbing zeal, and ate them messily. She had an uncanny ability to locate styrofoam, aluminum foil, and plastic buried in the mud, which she would then attempt to eat and angrily peck any humans who took them away. She once leaped up and pecked Soup-Nose the goat right in the udder when she felt that Soup-Nose was getting too close to her barley.

She gave no fucks about flock politics, unless someone was taking her food, in which case I hope The Powers That Be had mercy on them, cause she sure wouldn’t. But whenever we got new birds, they always ended up sleeping cuddled up to the Disgruntled Viking Hen, who just didn’t care if they were strangers or scared or lost or at the bottom of the pecking order. The peacocks slept one on each side of her, leaning on her, for months after we got them. If she realized they were not actually chickens, she did not care.

I hope Chicken Afterlife is full of wonderful things to eat, like styrofoam and uranium and nebulas and square roots and entropy and fulgarites, and nobody to take them away from her. And I’m glad all the new arrivals to Chicken Afterlife - scared and lost - will find a warm soft grouchy yellow fluffsphere who gives no fucks to sleep next to.

Make You Feel My Love

Based on this song

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Summary: Sam makes sure you know how much he loves you.

Word Count: ~3,800

Warnings: sickness, just a whole lot of fluff, family problems/drama, implied smut, more fluff!

A/N: I adore this song and just really wanted to write some Sam fluff. (Side note that probably no one cares to hear: at my wedding, I’m walking down the aisle to this song :’) )

*not my gif, as per the usual

Originally posted by sam-and-dean-winchesters

The brothers had spent a few days away on a hunt. You usually spent the time to yourself cleaning or relaxing. This time, you laid in bed almost all four days, curled up under a blanket with a box of tissues next to you where Sam usually laid. You coughed and groaned as you sat up and reached for your glass of water. You could hear Sam’s voice echoing in your head. “Make sure you stay hydrated. It’s the only way you’ll kick this thing.” You smiled at the thought of him always wanting the best for you.

After you gulped down some water and popped a cough drop into your mouth, you pulled your blankets up closer to your chin and snuggled down into them. Once the cough drop disintegrated into nothing and managed to soothe the roughness in the back of your throat, you let yourself fall asleep.

A little while later, you woke up to heavy footsteps coming down the hall toward you. You rolled over to face the door, but kept your eyes closed. The door creaked open slowly and Sam’s footsteps got quieter. You knew he kicked off his boots as he walked into your shared room. You shivered as the blankets shifted and cold air from outside the blanket swept across the front of your legs. The bed dipped and you felt yourself being pulled closer to Sam.

Keep reading

2/7 Small Grey Lump That Goes Meow: still not sure about these Massive Milkbeasts. Massive Milkbeasts: still not sure about a Small Grey Lump That Goes Meow.

Tesseract has figured out that the Small Grey Lump That Goes Meow is stealing what are obviously her rightful pettings. If she sees anyone petting the Small Grey Lump, she runs over and tries to bite his tail. However, lacking binocular vision, she is really bad at it. I keep hearing this loud chomp noise, and then I look over, and see that Tess has bitten the air vaguely near the Small Grey Lump. Yeah! That’ll show him!

The ice blocking the well conduit has melted! We have running water! I had a shower! You can all stop using Tumblr Savior to block those smells I’ve been posting. :P

I dare you to.

Can you do a V smut where you come home from a rough day at work and start to get into with v? 😝

~Thank you for requesting darling~

~I hope you enjoy~

You came back home from you shift. You were already in a crappy mood. Your back hurt, you had a headache. You expected to be greeted by your boyfriend Teahyung box smile. Instead you were greeted by a note on a torn piece of paper.

Went out with the boys 
                                       Love Tae

 Typical. You never got to see him between his job and him just not being home for what ever reason. You sighed and took your shoes off. You went to get something to eat since Taehyung was supposed to grocery shopping. You open the fridge to see it empty. “Of course he didn’t.” You said under your breath.  You sat down on the couch about to turn on the TV when Taehyung and the boys came in. Making you feel even worse. They were loud, which felt like a thousand bricks hitting your head. “HELLO Y/N!!!!!” J-hope yelled, which felt like two thousands bricks being thrown at you. “Hi Hoseok.” you said weakly. 

“Are you okay Y/N?” Jin asked.

“I’m fine.” you said while looking around for Taehyung.

“I think he’s still outside.” Said Jin noticing “Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look that well.” he said while putting his hand on your forehead. “You’re burning up. Please go lie down. I’m worried about you.” Something you’ve never heard from Taehyung before. “Okay maybe your right.” You said while standing up, Jin helping you. 

“Can you remind Tae to go grocery shopping he must of forgot.” 

“Of course. You just go and get some rest.”

 Soon as you closed the door to the bathroom you heard the rest of the guys bursting threw the door yelling. You heard Jin shush them “Y/N isn’t feeling good, she’s burning up.” 

“Oh.” Jungkook said the guilt showing 

“Oh, Taehyung she told me to remind you to go grocery shopping.”

Taehyung let out a long sigh. “Fine…but first….I want popcorn.”

You waited for Taehyung to come and check but it never happened. You heard him laughing, telling jokes but never a “I hope Y/N, is okay.”. Finally after a hour Jin came and checked up on you. “Hello~” He said quietly making sure not to bother your migraine.

 He spoke in soft whispers “The boys just left and Taehyung left to go shopping for food. I asked to pick up the stuff for soup. I’ll stay here so if you need anything just call okay?”

“Thanks, you’re so nice, but I’ll be fine you don’t have to do this i’ll be fine.”

“It’s no problem Y/N, you’re family now.”

“Thank you again.”

He flashed you a smile then started to close the door behind him. “Wait Jin..”


“When Taehyung comes back can you tell him to come in here I haven’t seen him all day.”

He looked surprised. “Of course I will.” He said before softly closing the door behind him.

You loved how Jin made you feel. He made sure you knew you were loved. He thought about his plush lips, how they would feel against yours. You quickly dismissed the thoughts. Feeling awful for even thinking about it. 

Taehyung cares about you. You love him and he loves you. You can’t do that to him.


Y/N, Y/N wake up~”

You open your eyes expecting to see Taehyung but all you was was Jin holding some home made soup. 

“Taehyung came in to see you but you were asleep and he decided best not to wake you.” He said while putting the bowl on the table to help you sit up.

“Where is he now?” You asked with sleep in your voice.

“He went to Jimins house.” He felt your forehead before he handed you the soup “You’re feeling a lot cooler now but you still look pretty sick.” He handed you the soup. The crackers were neatly laid out on the bowl and the smell of the soup filled your nose.  

“It smells so good!” You said

“Thanks.” he said about to leave 

“Can you stay, I like to talk while I eat.”

“I’ll love to.” He said while sitting on the bed.

You told him all about your day. About how your boss messed up and you blamed for it and about all your rude co-workers. Everything you wanted to tell Taehyung. Jin sat a listened he laughed when told a joke, he agreed with you when told him something wasn’t fair, he even added things. After you were done eating you tried to get up he stopped you “No, no I got it. You can catch up on your reading.” He said while nodding his head towards the half finish book on the your nightstand. You lied back down “Okay.”. He laughed at how quickly you obeyed as he walked out the room. 

 About 30 minutes later he came back. Wearing his jacket and putting on his gloves “Sorry to be bothering you while you’re reading but I have to go. Taehyung here is though! He’s about to to come up here and give some rest.”

“Okay, bye! Thank you for taking care of me.” You said extending your arms for a hug 

“You’re welcome.” He said accepting your offer.

You stared at the clock waiting for Taehyung to come to bed

10 mins….

30 mins….

50 mins….

by an hour you were fast asleep.


You woke you woke up to an empty bed. You sleepily got up and went to the living room. You saw Taehyung sitting there watching his shows. 

“Hey.” He said not even looking away. 

You started to get annoyed with his behavior. “You know I was feeling like shit yesterday.”

“I know you boyfriend told me.”

Boyfriend. “Tae, your my boyfriend.”

“You don’t treat me like it.”

You had enough. “I don’t treat you like it? How about you don’t treat me like your girlfriend,” Your voice started to raise “At least Jin acts like he cares about me! Unlike you who doesn’t even try to act like he cares about. I thought you cared about me. I guess I was wrong.

“I dare you to say that again.” his voice deep with anger.

“You don’t love me, and I don’t think I love you.” You said in an angry whisper

Taehyung shot up from the couch. Without even trying to walk around you he went to the bedroom and came back with a jacket. Pushing you to the side once more he snatched up his keys off the small table you guys keep by the door. Slamming the door behind him so hard that the picture of you and him went a little crooked. 

  You sank to your knees crying. Staring at the now crooked picture of you and Taehyung smiling together while he had his arm around you. 

It was all lies.


You phone rang you slowly went to answer it. 


“Jin!” You had to admit hearing his voice made you feel better

“I heard about the fight…are you okay?”

“Yeah, is he there with you or have seen him any at all today?”

“No, Namjoon just told me about it.”

“I see…..” You said trying to hold back tear,s of course Jin noticed.

“Y/N i’ll be right there.”

“Okay.” you breathed.

Within an hour Jin was at your door with a box of tissues and a paper bag of other stuff you couldn’t see what was in it.

Handing you the box of tissues he started listing off the things he had in the bag “So I got some popcorn, some bad 80′s and 90′s movies and candy. I also you some gloves because I thought you would like them.”

You couldn’t help but to giggle “I love them.” you said taking the pink and black gloves from him and letting him in.

“Okay I’ll start the popcorn and you pick out the movie.” he said handing you the bag.

You fished all three movies out of the bag. All of looked them equally terrible.

“Jin!” You yelled while walking into the kitchen “Which movie is the worst?”

“I don’t know I just looked them up online to make sure they were bad.”

“I want to watch the worst one though.” You waited for an answer but it never happened. You look up just to see Jin looking at you. He suddenly pressed his lips against yours, giving you a passionate kiss. His soft lips tasted sweet and you melted in to the kiss instantly. He pulled away from the kiss “Y/N i’m sorry I shoud-” You interrupted him giving him a hungry kiss. He pulled you closer to him so he could feel your body against his. He picked up carrying you to the bedroom never once breaking the kiss. You gently put you on the bed. He lick your bottom lip asking for permission. You granted him permission. There was no battle for dominance. Your tongues danced together like this wasn’t the first time you guys did this. He tugged at your shirt. Getting the hint you pulled it off. He undid your bra letting your boobs hang freely. He gasped at your beauty  “Taehyung was an idiot for not treating you correctly.” He took your hard nipple in his mouth, drawing circles with tongue making you moan his name. He started massaging your other boob. he kissed down to your core feeling how wet you were. “Damn.” he cursed under his breath. He pulled his pants down. Rubbing you with his tip before pushing in. Making you gasp. “Jin~” you moan. “Fuck, Y/N your so tight.”. He pushed into you slowly letting you adjust to his length. A long stream of curses and moans came from your mouth. He went out slow then came back hard hitting that spot over and over again. Causing you to moan his name. “Yes baby moan my name just like that.” He moaned. “Come for me darling.” He said while bringing you into a kiss. You felt you juice flowing freely over his long length, He pulled out squirting his seed all over you chest. He gave you a small kiss and resting his forehead against yours. “Y/N, you felt so good. You should get cleaned up.” You nodded in agreement and started towards the bathroom.

When you returned you saw Jin with a grave face like he was thinking hard about something. “Whats wrong?” You asked.

“I don’t think we should do this again.”

“What why not?” 

“Because Taehyung loves you.” you started to protest “If he didn’t love you he wouldn’t of gotten so mad.”

You paused to think “…I understand.”


“Y/N! Y/N! Wake up!”

You opened your eyes to see drunken Taehyung standing there. “I want to talk you about something.”

“Not now. You don’t what you’re saying, your drunk.”

“I admit I’m having little bit a trouble walking straight but i’m not drunk, I know what i’m saying.”

You let out a sigh “Okay, talk.”

“I heard you had sex with Jin.” 


“Y/N FOR ONCE IN YOUR DAMN LIFE SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.” His sudden outburst scared your mouth shut. “Thank you. I never remember saying I want to break up or saying something along the lines of have fun fucking my best friend!”

“You walked out.”

“And? Do you know how many times you walked out. Not coming back for days, weeks, But I never once slept with someone else. ”You looked down remembering all the times you walked out after a fight and stayed at your friends house. “Now I have to remind you who’s better.”

“Wait, what?” 

You smashed his lips into your lips. Channeling all his anger for that kiss. He didn’t waste any time taking off you shirt. He sucked harshly on your nipples making your back arch. “I bet he did you slow and gently. He doesn’t know you like I know you. He doesn’t know that your a little slut.” He suddenly sliding his hands down your pants. He slipped to fingers into you never breaking contact with you hard nipple. He pulled down your pants and started licking your clit never breaking eye contact. He started sucking on your clit making you scream. “Taehyung!!!” He started to finger you once again this time with 3 fingers. He curled up his fingers to hit that spot, making you scream once more “Louder.” he commanded. Pinching your clit with his free hand. Your vision was blurry from all the sensations. “Louder I said. I want them to know who’s making you feel like this.” You screamed louder. “Tae please.” With a smirk he pulled down his pants taking his length in his hand. “What? is this what you want?” You nodded. He slipped into you with ease and started pounding you. Your moans mixed with each other. “Who else can make you feel like this?” 

“No-no one.” You manged to say tears streaming down your cheeks because of all the pleasure.

“Damn right no one. No one will ever be able to make you feel how I make you feel, remember that.” 

You felt the knot in you stomach began to untie. He stopped, denying you. Making you whine. “Before I keep this going promise me you’ll never sleep with Jin or say those things to me ever again.”

“Okay i’m sorry.” You breathed 

“Who’s my good little slut?” he started pounding into you once again abusing your G-spot making you see stars. Your powerful climax took over you making you scream his name. He soon came into you saying your name under his breath.

“Does this mean you forgive me?” You asked

He stared a you for what seemed like forever. “No.” he said while getting up.

State of the Ranch

Hey folks,

I’m the increasingly inaccurately named blue-haired girlfriend, and I’ve been dispatched to give an update.  So, the rate of updating slowed with a couple of deaths of our critters that were difficult to absorb, but things were going along fine.  Nothing more bad has happened, but we still haven’t been updating.  What gives?

Well, Soup-Nose didn’t finally eat the Internet, it’s stranger than that: we’re in the process of moving.  The slow, slow process of moving.  As part of that, the land and house that have been Lazy Evaluation Ranch are for sale at present.  For the last six months, we’ve been living apart, and doing all kinds of other things, and now that the house is on the market things are even more up in the air.

So, y’know, if you want to buy a weird and wonderful house on 3+ acres in Olympia, Washington, with land that will please, delight, and confound you (the ghost apple tree of infamy is included), let us know.  Otherwise, hopefully the place will sell, we’ll move, and get settled again in the nearish future, and perhaps resume regular, silly updates in the Spring.  From a new country!

Keep your fingers crossed for us and the whole gang, and we join you in looking forward to a point when our life gets back to a point of being defined by animals being silly.


He is Sick (Ashton Irwin)

(I wasn’t really sure what to write, but I hope you like it darling :D)

Humming quietly to the new album you danced around the kitchen. Looking over at the time you smiled and continued to make the pasta for tonight. Ashton was finally home from touring and he was coming over to have dinner with you. A dinner you had been waiting months for it to come. Singing along to his songs you stirred the sauce as you moved your head to the beat of the song. Turning around you grabbed the pasta and dropped it in the boiling water giggling a bit as you jumped back. Pausing the song you turned the back burner to get the meat going. Freezing in your spot you turned around looking towards the living room. You could have sworn you heard the door being opened. Slowly making your way over towards the door, you watched as a curly headed boy leaned against the wall removing his black boots. Mumbling under his breath as he struggled. He cursed quietly as he finally kicked the boot of his foot landing on the floor with a loud thud. Walking back to the kitchen you turned down the burners and place the wooden spoon down before making your way towards the living room.

“Ash,” you asked quietly as you wiped your hands down. You watched as he placed his drumsticks down on the table and shuffled his way to the couch dropping on it. He curled his long legs and wrapped his arms around his torso. Hiding his face into the small pillow, frowning you walked over and peeked your head over the black couch. “Whats wrong,” you asked quietly. His beautiful hazel eyes looking up at you, he sniffled a bit and forced a small smile.

“I’m not feeling well” he whispered before he wrapped his arms around his stomach tighter. Frowning you looked back at the kitchen and nodded your head.

“I’ll be right back okay,” you said, he nodded his head and closed his eyes again as he curled more into the couch. Frowning you turned the stove off and walked over towards him. “Come on Ash lets get you to bed,” you said putting your hand out to him. He sat up too quickly and placed his hand against his forehead, his other hand gripping the edge of the couch.

“What about dinner,” he asked as he looked up at you “I promised we would have our first dinner since I’ve been back” he added as he stood up.

“It can wait,” you said as you took his head slowly leading him down the hallway.

“I’m fine Y/N,” he said as he wrapped his arm around your waist “We’ve been waiting for months for this night,” he said as he cupped your cheeks “I can’t let you down” he added. Smiling at him, you shook your head and pressed a small kiss to his cheek.

“You won’t let me down, Ash. You’re not feeling well, it’s best if you get some rest okay” you reassured him. He nodded and followed you towards the bedroom.

“Do you need anything?” you asked as you helped him to the bed. He shook his head and pulled his shirt off along with his pants. Frowning as he curled up under the blankets.

“Actually baby can I get the trash,” he asked as he rubbed his stomach. Nodding you walked over and brought the trash can by the bed. Kissing his forehead you turned the lights off and left the door partially opened. Walking down to the kitchen you finished what you were cooking and walked back to the living room picking up your book from the coffee table. Putting your feet up you flipped through the right page and continued reading where you left off.

Hearing the door creak you looked up and watched as he made his way over. He dragged his feet down the wooden floor. His curly hair messier than ever, he rubbed his eyes and pulled the blanket closer to his chest. Putting your book down you smiled at him as he laid down on the couch, curling his legs up to his chest, he rested his head on your lap and pulled the blanket over his warm body. Frowning you placed your hand to his forehead, he was burning up. Running your fingers through his messy hair you watched as he closed his eyes and placed his large hand softly on your thigh, his fingers slowly moving up and down your thigh trying to calm himself down. Leaning down you kissed his forehead and watched as he leaned his head back and stared up at you. His nose was red, his eyes looked extremely tired, he sniffled and forced a smile to you.

“Why did you leave the bed Ash,” you asked as you continued to play with his curls.

“I wanted you with me” he sniffled as he turned his attention to the TV.

“You could have asked for me to come in there silly” you giggled pressing your lips to his temple “You’ll be more comfortable on the bed” you added as you tried to get up but he just held you down. He turned around and wrapped his arms around your waist burying his face into your stomach.  

“I’m fine here” he mumbled, “I just want to be with you” he added. Nodding you continued to play with his hair, hearing his breathing get calmer soon to be replaced with small snores. Leaning your head back, you slowly started to fall asleep.

Rubbing your eyes, you looked down and quickly stood up. The smell of the pasta surrounded you, as you made your way to the kitchen. Not seeing Ashton you turned the stove off and walked towards the room.

“Ash,” you asked quietly as you walked into the room. The bathroom door was closed, walked over you knocked lightly and heard him groan.

“I’ll be right out” he mumbled, sighing you leaned against the wall and tapped your foot waiting for him to come out. Hearing the door creak you quickly pushed yourself away from the wall and stared at the pale boy in front of you. “I was trying to get dinner ready” he mumbled as he wiped his lips. Smiling slightly you took his hand and walked over to the bed making him get on it. Pulling the blanket up to his waist, you pressed a small kiss to his red nose.

“You stay here okay” he nodded slightly and gripped the blankets as he watched you step out of the room.

Walking back to the room you handed him the bowl of soup. He scrunched his nose as he stared down at it. Picking up his spoon, he picked up a few noodles and watched as they fell back into the liquid. Sighing you sat down across from him.

“I know, you think it looks gross, but you need to eat something, sweetie,” you said, he frowned and stared over at you sticking his bottom lip out. “Ash you need something in your stomach” you added.

“Can’t I just take medicine?” he asked as he place the bowl on the nightstand. Shaking your head, you stared into his hazel eyes.

“You need food before I can give you medicine” you replied. He pouted and grabbed the bowl again. Slightly glaring over at you as he took a couple of spoonfuls of the soup. Smiling proudly at him you walked over towards the bathroom to get the medicine.

“Ashton” you shouted making him look up at you from the bucket in his hands.

“I don’t want soup” he pouted before he continued to spit the soup into the trash can. “I’m sorry baby” he added as he stuck out his bottom lip. Frowning you walked over and handed him the bottle of medicine. He smiled at you and took the right amount before he placed the bottle down. He looked up at you and opened his arms, sticking his bottom lip out. Shaking your head you walked over and curled up in his arms. He leaned down and pressed his lips to your forehead before pulling the blanket over your body as well.

“I’m sorry our dinner plans got ruined” he mumbled as he stared down at you. Looking up at him you shook your head and pressed a kiss to his jawline.

“It’s okay Ash, I just want you to feel better” you replied rubbing his arm softly.

“I promise I will make it up to you” he whispered as he held you closer to him. As much as you were disappointed about your dinner plans being ruined, you just wanted your giggling boyfriend back to his goofy self. You hated seeing Ashton sick, him always being a ball of energy and making everyone around him happy. You hated seeing him moping around and just staying in bed knowing he just wanted to play his drums until your head would start hurting.