sound of a vacuum

sannamon  asked:

can i ask what are your favourite facts/Pictures/any content of namjoon that makes you laugh or smile the most? i need some rn tbh haha.....

  • he gives their studio computer endless viruses 
  • he is as soft as an overcooked noodle
  • his underground stage name was runcha randa jfc
  • when he wore a you got no jams shirt
  • this video is a blessing

  • pictures with his mom
  • he said in an interview that if he ever got a non-idol girlfriend he would write a song apologizing to her for being so busy
  • he makes cute puns like namu namu
  • he woke up to the sound of jungkook sucking flies into a vacuum in the middle of the night
  • his love for all things soft and cute; ryan, brown, jimin 
  • his 14/10 dorkiness 
  • he likes to hold things/people while he sleeps
  • namjoon as the maknae 

  • this gif

Originally posted by joonie-bts

  • and of course his smile
  • Ruby: And over there, Ms. Belladonna, is our dog Zwei.
  • Kali: Oh, how cute! May I pet him?
  • Yang: You’re not scared of him?
  • Kali: No. Why would I be?
  • Ruby: Well you’re a cat faunas, aren’t you?
  • Kali: Kids, just because I have cat ears doesn’t mean I’m actually a cat. Don’t be silly.
  • Yang: Then what about Blake? She is scared of dogs...
  • Ruby: ...And loves fish...
  • Yang: ...And hates the sound of vacuum cleaners...
  • Ruby: ...And sleeps in a box sometimes....
  • Yang: ...And you can distract her with a lazer pointer.
  • Ruby: I even saw her lick herself once!
  • Kali: Oh that....Well I don’t know what to tell you. Blake’s just weird.
  • *Ruby and Yang look over at Blake, who has her hands tangled in a ball of yarn*
  • Blake: A little help.

anonymous asked:

Hi, could you do a fic where Spideypool are a secretly married couple and have to hide the fact from citizens /enemies when they are dp&sp ?

It’s been so long, and the reason is, I GOT INTO UNIVERsITY!! Yay!! I’m gonna try and pump some of these out, but yay!!

Peter stumbled into the Avengers building, coffee cup in hand, barely awake.  Tony had called him in extra early, which was unsurprising. Ever since he had started working for stark industries, he was called in either for work business, or superhero business. Tony was the only one who knew about his double life, so it was touch and go when he walked into the building.
Peter let himself in, punching in the code to the lab tiredly.  He froze when he saw the Avengers standing around tensely. He clutched his cup to his chest and resisted the urge to pull down the mask he knew wasn’t there. They all paused in their conversation to stare at Peter until the silence was too awkward and he had to laugh nervously.
“Peter,” Tony said, waving his hand at him to come into the room. “We’re in the middle of something, but you can just come in and work. Just stay quiet over there, okay kid? I need that thing fixed.”
Peter nodded and swallowed down the feeling that he had made a mistake. Was he supposed to come in uniform? He sat in the corner and put his headphones in, but he could feel Natasha and Clint’s eyes boring into his back.  
Steve cleared his throat. “Okay, so we are in unanimous agreement about what we discussed?”
Out of the corner of his eye, Peter could see a few hesitant nods.  He pulled out his toolbox and started quietly working, even though he had finished this project weeks ago.  
“Good, then I guess, let’s bring him in.” He could sense a hardness in Steve’s voice that Peter recognized as dislike. He had a sinking feeling in his gut, even before the door opened and Wade’s familiar voice.
“Hi, team! I brought snacks!” Peter turned to see the bright leather of Wade’s Deadpool suit, and groaned a bit, pushing himself into the corner more. Wade hadn’t spotted him yet, but he knew his situation would be a hundred times more embarrassing when he did.
“Okay, listen pal, just because your working with us doesn’t make you part of our team,” Clint grumbled
Wade stepped forward and laughed obnoxiously. “Gee, that’s rich coming from you, cupid.”
Peter felt himself involuntarily tense. Clint was an okay guy, but he and Wade were not on good terms. He resisted the urge to turn around and tell Clint to keep his bitter remarks to himself, but Natasha beat him to it.
“Boy’s please, your making our guest uncomfortable.” He felt a tight grip on his shoulder. Oh god. Peter shrunk into himself as Natasha gave him a look, and recognition flicked across Wade like a light globe.
“Oh, this is just too good!” He laughed clapping his hands together and rubbing them cunningly as he walked around the table to stand by Peter’s hip. Peter glanced at him, trying to give Wade his best warning look, but as per usual, it had no effect.
“Where are my manners? I’m the Deadpool of your dreams. And you are the handsome beauty of my dreams. I’m digging this nerdy college boy look baby! It’s really turning my floppy drive into a hard disk if you know what I mean!”  

Peter felt embarrassment crawl up his neck as Wade regarded him. The room paused again and Steve piped up.  

“I’m not quite sure what that means but please, let’s get to the issue at hand, and leave Tony’s employee’s out of it.”
“Why Captain of course, but there’s nothing I’d like more to have my hand on Tony’s employee. Peter, is it?” Wade leaned down to speak to Peter, tiptoeing his gloved fingers across the desk.  
Peter sighed. Wade absolutely loved doing this, pretending that they didn’t know each other. He liked having a special secret all to himself.  
“Don’t worry baby boy, I know that you already know me. I’m like, big news now or whatever.”
Peter felt the corner of his mouth twitch up.  He turned back to his table, as they started discussing “important” things that they needed Wade for.  
Wade wasn’t listening, even though Peter was. Wade was too busy smiling at Peter and watching him tinker around with scraps.  
Once the meeting was over (Peter assumed it was over, because Bruce had stormed out, and Thor was now trying figure out how to eat the doughnuts Wade had brought) Wade turned back to him with a cheeky grin.
“So baby, now that all that stuffy business is over, howsabout we go out for some grub! As you can see by the god currently stuffing his face, I have great food taste. I’d love to take you out and treat you well, baby.”
Peter smiled looking at him and lowering his voice. “I thought I was cooking tonight? I bought ingredients yesterday.”
“They’ll stay good for one more night Petey, let’s eat out tonight! Now that you’ve got a high-tech job, I think we should celebrate!”
Peter snorted and set down his screwdriver. “We can’t go out, Aunt May is visiting tomorrow remember? The house is a total mess hun.”
Wade pouted and tugged on Peter’s sleeve like he did when he was trying to get his own way. Even after a couple of years, Peter still couldn’t resist it.
“Fine, if you go home right now, and vacuum, we can go out for dinner.” Peter leaned closer and dropped his voice even lower, just the way he knew Wade liked. “And then we can get cozy in bed with dessert and watch the next episode of whatever show you want.”
Wade moaned and wrapped his arms around Peter’s shoulders whispering into his ear “This is why I married you.”
Peter made a mock-offended sound. “Wade, I married you. Now go vacuum, please.”

Wade was standing on the sidelines, next to the one and only Captain America, ogling at his husband’s ass in tight spandex. No matter how many times he woke up next to Peter, his sweet ass still blew Wade away.
“Good god, that is a sweet goddamn ass. Oh, bless.” He watched as Peter flipped in and out of buildings, being the first part of their four-part attack plan against some bad guy. Wade wasn’t really listening, he was only there to make sure Peter was safe, and to watch his amazing body.  
Steve looked back at him with a frown. Wade rolled his eyes.
“C'mon Cap! I know you’re all about righteousness and whatever, but don’t tell me you don’t sometimes have a peek! It’s natural man, every red-blooded male does it yo!”
Wade ignored the skeptical look the hero gave him and clapped him on the back. “Nothing is as good as Spidey’s ass, though, by god. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful, and I doubt I ever will.”
Steve looked uncomfortable, shifting his shield in his hand.  
“I don’t appreciate that kind of crude conversation. Aren’t you…married.”
“Oh yeah! I’m so married! Married hard!” Wade ripped off his glove and showed his ring for emphasis. Peter and Wade had bought it together, and for once, looking down at his rumpled skin actually made him feel proud. The gold nestled there reminded him of Peter’s vows, of his promises to love and cherish him, every part of him, even the parts that Wade didn’t like.  
The memory made Wade’s heart squeeze and made him smile goofily. When he looked back up, Cap was giving him an incredibly strange look. Wade didn’t really care.  
Peter landed on the wall next to wades head, signaling the second phase of their plan. Cap sprung into action, diving into the battle as Wade moved over to scrape his husband off the wall.  
Peter laughed, swinging around him before noticing his bare hand.

“What’s this then?” Peter challenged with a smile. “A wedding ring? We’ve been rendezvousing this whole time and you’re married? I can’t believe it.”
“Yes, it’s true. I’m married to the most beautiful, funny and smart man in all the world! He has the most bangin’ bod, well, second only to you.”  
Peter snickered, taking the moment alone to twine his fingers with Wade’s and play with the ring.  
“He sounds like the luckiest guy in the world.”
“He will be tonight. I’m making pasta.”
Peter laughed, patting his head as Wade put his glove back on. “Well, I’m jealous. And busy. If we keep trapezing like this we are going to get found out.”
“I like how taboo this is baby.” Wade said, wiggling his eyebrows, “What do you say, after this, do you wanna get out of here? Go somewhere a little more private? We can have a bath together? There will be wine and Ben and Jerry’s.”
Peter smiled, placing a chaste kiss on Wade’s mouth before climbing up the wall. “Sweetie, you had me at bath.”  

  • Stein: *gets woken by sound of vacuum cleaner outside his room (because contrary to popular believe, the Waverider does not clean itself)*
  • Stein: *groans*
  • Len: *opens door, vacuum cleaner in hand and still turned on* Oh, are you sleeping in here?
  • Stein: *stares at Len and groans more*
  • Len: *at Mick* Hey, I think he's sleeping in here!
  • Mick: *over sound of vacuum cleaner* What? *joins Len and proceeds to throw candy wrappers into Stein's room*
  • Stein: *keeps groaning*
William Nylander - Part 6

In case anyone missed it, I now have masterposts for both my Matthews story and the Nylander one! Keeps everything nice and organized! 

After dinner we roll to a stop outside my apartment. An awkwardness comes over me and I have no idea what to do or say so I wait for him to break the silence.  

               “I’d ask to come in, but I think I hit my limit of making you do things today,” Will says, shifting into park and leaning back in his seat to look at me.

               I laugh and nod. “I would have said no anyway.” We both know it’s a lie.

               “Sure,” he humors me and our eyes meet. Instead of the tension rising, it seems to dissipate. I’m comfortable with him. It’s a shocking revelation. Just as is the fact that his hair is different shades of blonde almost, a natural highlight that I hadn’t noticed before.

               “Are you going to call me this time?”

               I hesitate a moment. “It’s possible.”

               He tilts his head down and gives me a skeptical look.

               “You never know, I could still be gathering evidence of your stalking incidents,” I tease, giving him a severe look.

               Will laughs, it rumbles in the enclosed space and my heart skips a beat. It’s a beautiful sound.

               “I guess anything is possible,” he says and we fall silent again. I don’t want to get out of the car and I don’t think he wants me to leave either.

               “Well, I’m sure my cat is very upset I didn’t spend my Sunday with her,” I start when the silence stretches on for too long, my hand reaching for the door handle. Silently begging him to stop me. He does.

               Will’s hand catches my wrist and I look back at him in question. He gives me a shy smile before leaning in and kissing my cheek gently.

               “Goodnight, Y/N,” he says, his breath raising goosebumps on my skin.

               “Will,” I say as a goodbye and lift myself out of the car, closing the door gently behind me. I don’t look back.

               The elevator dings, the doors closing after I press my floor number and I lean back against one of the walls, my head hitting the glass with a thud. The only reassuring thing that this hasn’t been a dream is the dull ache.

               “What the hell am I doing?” I ask myself aloud. You said yes to another date with Nathan for tomorrow yet you spent all day with a drop dead gorgeous hockey player and let him take you out to dinner and kiss your cheek and make your stomach do backflips and you are a horrible person. I let out a wail of despair once I’m in my apartment and Kota pins her ears back. Her eyes judgmental.

               “Don’t even start with me, Kota,” I snap, throwing some food into her bowl. I strip down in my bathroom and turn the water as hot as I can stand. Letting the water relax my muscles and steam the bathroom, I let my mind wander. It doesn’t surprise me when it lands on Will. I wonder what he’s doing. I wonder if he’s showering just like me. Oh you just had to go to a naked image, didn’t you? I scold myself and turn the scalding shower off.

               I don’t bother dressing myself, tying a robe around myself instead. Wandering out into the living room Kota is perched on her usual spot on the back of my couch. Her eyes are less judgmental now and she’s content to let me pet her head.

               “Oh Kota, two weeks ago I had no boys. Now I have two,” I whisper and she meows back. I don’t speak cat but I’m pretty sure she just asked me for more food.

-

               When my alarm sounds in the morning I bounce out of bed, always the morning person. I’m my most productive in the early hours of the day, hence the alarm at 6:30. I dress myself smartly, also key to being productive and twist my hair into messy bun. Kota bends between my legs as I gather my morning breakfast, nearly causing me to break my ankles twice.

               I pull up my schedule on my tablet as I stuff toast and eggs into my mouth. A lunch meeting with a few other editors at the office and several more manuscripts are due to be in my inbox when I arrive. They are never sent over email. Always a hard copy in my little tray in the office that I seldom use in downtown Toronto.

               With a free morning I get uninterrupted time to clean my apartment. One of my favorite things to do. There is just such a satisfying sound when the vacuum runs over my carpet, leaving that beautiful trail. My parents bought me a Roomba for Christmas, I exchanged it for a new coffee maker. Orderliness and cleanliness cannot be made by a robot.

               By the time I’m walking into the office, precisely nine minutes early, my mood is sky high. I greet the receptionist, janitor, a copy writer and three people I don’t know as I walk to the glass enclosure of a conference room. I remember now why I prefer to work from home. The ultramodern look and feel of the office is overwhelming at times. Everything too professional and cold for my liking.

               I take my usual seat, second on the right, back to the door and carefully lay all my papers and files before me in particular order. Movement to my left comes as a surprise but doesn’t scare me.

               “Here already? I thought you liked coming to meetings fifteen minutes late?” I say without looking up from my pad of paper that I always use to take notes on.

               “All good things must come to an end,” Jake sighs, placing my usual Caramel Macchiato before me before settling himself down in the third seat to the right. “Bartello said after the last meeting that I have to be good for three months and she will clear my record.”

               I scoff and shake my drink a few times before taking a sip. “I didn’t think you were afraid of Bartello.”

               “Yeah, well, I’m more afraid of having to go back to photocopying. Worst year of my life,” he replies. I finally glance up at him when he shuffles his papers out onto the table and my eyes widen. Jake’s usual unruly hair is smoothed to the side with a clean cut and his lazy attire is now freshly pressed and his tie is actually tied.

               Jake realizes I’m staring and his cheeks turn a faint pink. “What?” He asks self-consciously, eyeing me warily.

               “Goddamn Mattias,” I exclaim and his pink turns beet red. “You look fine as hell!”

               “Would you keep your voice down,” he mumbles furiously at me, busying himself with his papers while I snicker.

               “What’s her name? Is it the new receptionist? She looks like a total sweetheart, all rosy cheeks and pretty black curls. I can see it,” I nod and smirk at his obvious discomfort.

               “It’s not the receptionist,” he snaps and I press him with a stare. He knows I won’t let it go. “You’re not going to like my answer,” he says cautiously, his eyes darting to me and to the coffee in my hand.

               “What do you mean I won’t lik-“ I freeze in my words. Jake sees the revelation in my face and I can see sweat beading on his forehead. “No no no no no no…. Jacob Oscar Mattias you had better tell me that what I’m thinking is not true.”

               Jake swallows hard and glances at the exit to our left. “Jake, you had better tell me right now that you are not dating my sister,” I lower my voice and level him with a glare. He makes a noise in the back of his throat and licks his lips nervously.

               “YOU’RE DATING MY SISTER?” I yell and he jumps in his seat before grabbing my arm and glancing again over his shoulder where two of our coworkers are looking up from their desks.

               “Would you stop yelling?” He whispers, ducking his head closer to mine. “And please don’t hit me. I still have a bruise from six days ago at the last meeting.”

               I can feel murder on my face and I know he feels it.

               “You can’t act so surprised, you knew there was something there,” he says, leaning back in his seat. Clearly taking comfort in the fact that I can’t beat him over the head with my briefcase in the middle of the office.

               “But… it’s Rian… she’s my baby sister,” I squeak. Betrayal rushing over me like a broken dam.

               “She’s not a baby, Y/N. She’s barely two years younger than us. Three more months and she graduates. It’s not a huge deal!”

               “It is so! How long?” I demand, still seething.

               “Just a few days, two dates is all,” Jake answers, more tension leaving his body.

               “So after the game then?” I ask. Rian had been so nervous during the entirety of the car ride there and back, blushing at every word Jake had said. I had just thought it was a crush thing. Never did I imagine they would act on it.

               “Yes, after the game. When you didn’t answer me the next morning right away to ask how you were feeling, I called Rian to make sure everything was okay. It all kind of spiraled from there,” Jake shrugs and I press my lips into a hard line.

               “I texted you right when I woke up! How early did you call her?”

               “I was worried about you, Y/N. Nathan and Rian aren’t the only people that love you,” he snaps at me and my heart softens a little bit. But I’m still pissed he’s probably already kissed my baby sister.

               “Don’t you try and suck up to me now Mattias,” I snap back at him and he gives me a shifty grin. “So that’s what all this is about?” I ask, mussing his hair much to his annoyance.

               “Not really,” he says, shoving my hand away and attempting to smooth his black hair back out again. “Just ready for a change.”

               I give him a skeptical look but drop the topic as our coworkers slowly start filing in.

               “This isn’t over,” I mumble to him, bringing my drink to my lips. “No matter how many macchiatos you bring me.”

               The meeting goes as usual, someone gets yelled at but it’s not me or Jake so I don’t really care. I give Jake a dirty look every chance I get and he’s always quick to look away. Once everything is done and we gather our things, walking out the door together.  

               “All your dirty looks reminded me,” Jake starts once we are out of earshot of the others and in my office. “Rian mentioned you went out with William Nylander last night?” He raises his eyebrows and flops down in one of the seats across from my desk.

               I silently curse my sister for being a blabber mouth and fix Jake with a stare as I take my own seat and pick of the stack of manuscripts waiting for me. Fanning through them I reply. “Yeah, what about it?” I decide not to lie and I realize with a pang that I have yet to text Will.

               “It just surprises me because you went out with Nathan the other night and I think he mentioned something about going to a play tonight,” Jake says slowly and I smack my forehead with the stack of papers.

               “The play!” I moan and squeeze my eyes closed. I had completely forgotten.

               “Yeah…” Jake says a bit awkwardly, which I find ironic that he considers that to be awkward when I’m pretty certain he’s had his tongue down my little sister’s throat already.

               I sigh and lean back in my chair, replacing the papers onto my desk and tilt my head to look out the window.

               “I don’t know what I’m doing, Jake,” I whisper.

               “I’ve gathered that,” he nods and I look at him in surprise when he chuckles.

               “What?”

               He hesitates a moment, looking like he’s gathering his words first. “It’s just… so unlike you I guess. You’re a person who needs to be organized and even since high school you’ve always known what you wanted.” He shrugs and leans back as well. “I just never saw you as someone who plays the field.”

               “I am not playing the field!” I retort and glare at him. “And you seem very unconcerned that this involves your best friend and there’s a possibility that things aren’t going to work out between him and me.”

               Jake shrugs again much to my annoyance. “I never have thought of you two as a couple, you’re too similar I think,” he says slowly. “Besides, I wouldn’t really consider him as my best friend as of late, I’ve hardly seen or talked to him since the game. He’s so involved in everything at school and all of his coworkers at the hospital he’s doing his practical at… I think of you as my best friend more than Nate.”

               I turn my attention back out the window, letting Jake’s words sink in. I hadn’t realized until now that Jake is right. Nathan never even mentioned Jake when we were out the other day, all he really talked about what school and what his future hopefully consisted of. I don’t even think we talked about my own work. Glancing at Jake, I see his brow bunched together as he stares blankly at my desk.

               “I don’t think that’s true, Jake,” I say gently. “I think of you as my best friend as well, you’re the person I see the most to be completely honest. But Nathan is still your friend, he just has other priorities right now. It’s like when you and I were in our program, all we pretty much saw was each other. I don’t think we left each other’s sides for sixteen weeks,” I smile at him and he hesitantly reflects it back to me.

               “Don’t think about it too much, Jakey,” I reach forward and cover his hand with my own. “Nathan will snap out of it. You still have your best friend.”

               Jake stares at our hands and slowly nods his head. I hadn’t realized how much this affected him. A little bit of guilt flashes through me about yelling at him earlier.

               “Still going to the play tonight?” He asks after a few moments his sad expression replaced with a smirk, though he doesn’t remove his hand from mine.

               “You want to come? Rian would be down I’m sure,” I say, an idea already forming in my head. It’s not a date if your little sister comes. Jake seems to know exactly what I’m thinking and frowns at me.

               “Are you even into him?” He asks bluntly.

               I stare at him in silence, taking in his bronze skin and his even darker eyes. I can see why Rian gets giddy every time I mention him. “I don’t know, Jake,” I answer truthfully. “I really don’t. I had never thought about him in that way until recently, and even now… it’s strange. But also kinda nice?” I scrunch my nose, my mind in a million places at once.

               “But you need time,” Jake says and I nod.

               “I think so.”

               “And what about Will?”

               My cheeks heat and my heart skips a beat in my chest. My physical reaction is enough for Jake to nod.

               “Much different reaction,” he muses.

               “Much,” I agree quietly. I squeeze his hand once more before wiggling the mouse to my desktop to get the screen to wake up. “So you want a ticket for tonight?”

               “Yes, ma’am. Two please,” he winks at me and I scowl even though it was my idea.

               “Keep your damn hands to yourself when I’m around,” I growl at him as he stands and makes to leave my office. “I’m going to have nightmares for weeks now.”

               Jake gives me his goofy smile, the contrast of his white teeth again his brown skin makes me envious and I hate that he used my favorite smile against me.

               “Get out of my office.”

Grand Blues 781 Katalina and the Lyria of the Past

[Katalina found her clothes from her time in the Erste Empire among her luggage]
Lieutenant of the Erste Empire, Katalina: “Wearing these reminds me of when I first met Lyria in the Empire.”

Vyrn: “Huh… what was Lyria like back then?”
Ka: “Unlike now, she spoke very little and gave a very subdued impression.”
Ka: “But of course that’s because she was being imprisoned by the empire…”
Lyria: “Wai- stop that, Katalina!”

Vy: “Ahaha! Though I kind of would like to see what it’d be like to have a quiet Lyria!”
Ly: “Geez! Vyrn-san, not you too!”
??: “You can’t!!

Zehek: “The power to control primal beasts… the girl in blue… and on top of that, if she became a silent type character…
(The Empire’s Secret/The Girl in Blue/Linked Fates/Primal Beasts/Lost Memories/SHWOOOP)
Lunalu: “Lyria’s chuuni-power would go beyond mortal limits!
Ly: “Chuuni-power!?

Orchid: “…if Lyria were silent, she’d overlap with me so…”
Or: “You can’t…”
Lyria: “Even Orchid!?

A Group Effort

Anon: I would love to see my boy Lance with a headcold!! Make him suffer :’)

Anon: i’d like to see Lance with a headcold! and i dont care more than that. just as long as i can see my boy with a snuffly nose.

A/N: This is my first cold-based fic! I’m much more used to fever- and stomach-based things, so here we go with expanding horizons! Pray for me and spelling out sneezes. This had a lot of Lance and Keith still hating each other, it almost hurt my heart to write after all the Klance stuff.

It’s silent in space. It is a vacuum, there’s no medium for sound to travel through. Even while in their lions, practicing maneuvering through fodder the castleship threw at them, the paladins remained silent and focused.
It didn’t last long.
“Hh’ktCHhsx!”
“Alright. That’s it. I’m done. I’m going back to the castle.”
The other four paladins sounded off in Keith’s ear.
“Wait, why?”
“I don’t understand.”
“What’s happening?”
“What is it, Keith?”
“I am done listening to Lance sneeze into the intercom.”

Keep reading

- ̗̀  apb: reloaded starter sentences  //  vol.1  ̖́-

just a few gems heard over mic or seen in the district chat on apb: reloaded. 

  1. “ laugh like a normal human you weirdo. ”
  2. “ your language sounds like a bunch of broken vacuums. ”
  3. “ sorry man, can’t help ya. ”
  4. “ i know you’re over there you stupid fuck. ”
  5. “ that was some bullshit. ”
  6. “ I HATE HER! ”
  7. “ LOVE YOU TOO BABE! ”
  8. “ i like killing people with my pink gun to make them feel bad about themselves. ”
  9. “ cash me ousside, how ‘bout dat. ”
  10. “ you really wanna do this tango disco? ”
  11. “ i saw you, you play like shit. ”
  12. “ you say it’s huge, but i bet it’s below average. ”
  13. “ aight, i respect that. ”
  14. “ you ass clappers! ”
  15. “ how did the ice cream get fuzzy? ”
  16. “ masturbating makes your palms hairy. ”
  17. “ anyways, you’re fucking disgusting. ”
  18. “ learn how to dive, bitch! ”
  19. “ gotta work for this ass. ”
  20. “ jesus this chat never fails to make between my thighs really moist. ”
  21. “ what the fuck are these two cheese dicks doing? ”
  22. “ what the fuck, am i blind or did i just see a guy go warp speed just then? ”
  23. “ oi, fuckwit, i’m on your team. ”
  24. “ team super scrubs over here, let’s goooooo. ”
  25. “ where the hell is my team? ”
  26. “ sorry, i tried to recover your car but it wouldn’t flip. ”
  27. “ i literally had to throw myself in his bullets for him to even score. ”
  28. “ this kid has straight lost it. ”
  29. “ at least she’s a lady, unlike ___, who just puts wigs on his hands. ”
  30. “ baby needs a bottle and a nap. ”
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3

“I wish I could say I was brave.
I wish I could say I was one of those plucky survivors you see on television.
I couldn’t stop remembering.
The Joker’s laugh. The sound of the shot.
It was my memory, dad. My photographic memory.
Even the smell of the bullet.
All in excruciating, never-ending detail.
And every time, it put me right back on that floor, cold from shock and blood loss. Waiting to die.
See, it wasn’t my body that betrayed me. It was my mind.
I thought everything that made me me was gone.
And I couldn’t keep going back to that time..
My apartment. My un-vacuumed floor.
So, as dumb as this sounds, I wanted revenge.
I wanted my spirit back.
Cops are good for street dealers and wife beaters. We both know that.
I thought I could do more.
The biggest criminals in the world, dad.
And in their ignorance and arrogance, they left their secrets in plain sight for someone who knew where to look.
And I was good at it. And it was good for me.”

“My Lord.”

“Dad, did you know this? Any of it?”

“I knew you had some unusual friends, Barbara.
But did I think you were the great and powerful Oz?
No. That didn’t occur to me.
But I didn’t try to know your secrets, sweetheart.
I figured you’d let me in when you felt it was right.”

“I’m glad you’re handling this so well, dad..
Because there’s a bit more, I’m afraid.”

- Birds of Prey Vol 1 #89(2006)

All I Wanted; C.H. 10

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4 , part 5, part 6 , part 7 , part 8 , part 9

A/N; Sex, sweet sweet sex.

“Y/n, you have to come help man. We’ll never get this done with just the two of us. My parents are coming home earlier, like this night earlier. We’re so screwed. Call me back asap!” Meredith her frantic voice chimes through my ear, my voice mail filled up with calls from my best friend while I was napping the day away. I decide to not call her back, but just head over and help her out – she would do the same thing for me anyway.

I do take my sweet time getting there though. It’s been quite some time since the Halloween party, which was a little over a week ago. My mind has been with Calum and the kiss we had shared ever since, guilt sometimes sneaking in when Meredith popped in my mind. I hadn’t heard or seen Calum since then, and I didn’t know how he would respond. But somehow, when my mind always tried to find the positive and happy things, it would turn out in the completely different direction. And which would mean in this case, that he’d be a complete dick and I would have been played. And that’s a real possibility and a harsh reality check.

I drag my ass up the driveway of the Hood residence, making a left turn to the back door. I hear music loudly blasting from the living room window as I pass it. I can hear the distinct sound a vacuum cleaner as well and I’m sure I’ll get a mop and a bucket in my hand as soon as I enter.

When I do though, I see Michael wiping the kitchen counter but he stops in his tracks when he hears the door squeak. “Oh, you’ve made a horrible decision, Y/n.”
Before I can ask him what he even means by those words, Meredith appears in the kitchen and her eyes widen when she spots me, frozen in my spot in the open doorway.

“Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re here. Couldn’t you answer your phone? The whole house is a mess. Would you please clean the hallway because I think there are some beer stains from the Halloween party.” I refrain from rolling my eyes as I nod my head, taking the tiny rag from her hands and disappearing into the hallway, picking up the bucket as I pass it.

“Wow, I don’t even get a hello.” I groan to myself and I hear the deep chuckle of Calum, so my head shoots up to see him leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over his bare chest. “Hello, Y/n.”
“Not from you, ass hole.” I laugh and throw my rag in his direction, his eyes sparkling as he lets out a laugh of his own. “Thanks for coming to help, we can use the extra hand.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it. But can I have that back?” I giggle as I point to the rag dangling from Calum’s crossed arms, him reciprocating by throwing it back in my direction. I see Calum’s eyes glide over me as he seductively licks his lips, before disappearing back into the living room.

I finished the hallway, Calum has finished the living room and Meredith and Michael are fixing the last bits of the kitchen, the last plates going in the dish washer. “So, was that all?” I wipe the droplet of sweat from my brow as I drop the rag on the kitchen table, dropping onto one of the chairs.
“No, the upper floor isn’t even done.” Michael laughs loudly and I groan hoarsely, dropping my head in my hands as I feel the muscles in my neck strain.

All of us are standing around in the kitchen – well I’m sitting but still –  when “Michael and I are going out for dinner. Calum, you can clean the rest of the upper floor by yourself.” Meredith suddenly speaks up and all of us stop our motions to stare at her while she has this sudden outburst. “Why the fuck would you leave me alone? I wasn’t even home half the time this is your fucking mess!” Calum’s loud voice booms through the kitchen and I flinch just a split second. Sometimes, and most of the times it’s directed towards Meredith, I can see his aggression seep through.

“Calum, don’t be such a bitch. You’ve been in bed until a fucking hour ago, you can do the upper floor!” Meredith growls agitated as she grasps Michael by his hand and pulls him to the back door. “Ah, Y/n? You coming?” She abruptly stops, as if she even forgot I was here in the first place, and leaves Michael’s hand dangling next to his lanky frame. Calum sighs loudly but he seems to have given up already. Michael shoots both of us an apologetic grin because he knows his girlfriend is being unreasonable.

“I have to collect my stuff in your room, you guys go out I’ll let myself out in a minute.” I smile, waving at Meredith as I disappear from her sight into the hallway. When I hear the door slam closed, I turn around, one foot in the stairs and my back leaning against the banister, eyebrow cocked in Calum’s direction. “Come on, I’ll help you, you’ll be done in no time.”

His eyes light up like a child on Christmas morning before he flies in my direction and his large arms envelope me in a tight hug. “You are the most amazing person ever.” I breathe in his cologne, a shiver running down my spine as I let my hands slowly rest on his shoulders. “I know.”

I skip up the stairs, Calum behind me. I think I’m not fast enough because I feel his fingertips dig into my sides and I squeal before abruptly turning around and playfully glaring at Calum who is grinning from ear to ear. “Don’t do that!”
His grin grows even brighter and he lifts his arms again to tickle me again and I shriek before darting up the stairs as fast as I can.

I make the first turn I can and end up in Calum’s own bedroom, my eyes widening at the atomic bomb that seemed to have went off here since the last time I’d been in here.

“I’m not helping you clean your room, you know. You’re a filthy pig.” I laugh as I let my gaze wander over all the dirty clothes scattered across his room, various articles laying around where they clearly shouldn’t be, his bed like a mountain of sheets and pillows – it hadn’t been made since his parents left.

I feel another shiver run along my spine when I sense his close proximity but I don’t move. I feel my heartbeat speed up, my breathing becoming shallower as his fingertips glide along my exposed arm, creating goose bumps in their wake. It feels like all my senses are on fire and the main reason isn’t alcohol for once. His breath is hot against the shell of ear, my heart pounding in my chest.

“You seem tense Y/n.” Calum whispers, his hands now ghosting over my sides, his flat hands resting against my abdomen. A humourless laugh leaves my lips. “Wouldn’t you be?” I let my head rest on Calum’s shoulder, letting my eyes drift closed as I enjoy his close proximity.

“Is just let it happen.” His voice is low, seductive. His lips trail over the sensitive skin of my neck, a breathless sigh leaving my lips. I can’t hold myself back any longer and turn in his embrace, my hands rapidly trailing from his chest to his neck, thumbs brushing over his sharp jawline.

Our lips connect and the first moment it’s soft, loving and a little bit apprehensive. Soon his arms wind around my waist, pulling me impeccably closer to his large frame, deepening his kiss. One of my hands trails up to course through his thick, curly hair. It seems to trigger something in Calum because before I know it, I’m pressed against the wall, his hands roaming over my ass as he pushes me off of the floor with just his body against mine.

I throw my leg over his hip, his tight jeans pressing against my core as our kiss heats up. A low moan leaves my lips, my back arching off of the wall to be closer to Calum. He seems to sense my needs and both of his hands cup my bum and he lifts me off of the floor with the greatest ease.

Our kisses get more heated as he carries me across his room to his unmade, messy bed. I’m gently put down, bouncing a little off of the mattress as Calum raises to his feet again. His gaze wanders over my body as he licks his lips. “Come on.” I stop him from saying anything, reaching my hand out for him. He happily obliges and lets his hand slip in mine before he crawls on to the bed, hovering over my much smaller frame.

His lips ghost over my collarbone, one of his hands cupping my bum while the other slowly trails along my waist. My heartbeat quickens rapidly, my breathing shallow as Calum sets my senses on fire. Every inch of my skin tingles as his hands trail up towards my neck, cupping my head in his large hands.

Calum groans as his gaze flicks from my widened eyes to my lips. I’m rather impatient and I raise my head to lock my lips with his. A loud moan leaves my lips as my back arches off of the mattress, pressing Calum and I’s bodies impossibly close together.

It causes Calum to bite my lip roughly, his nails digging into the tender flesh of my skin. My hands wander nervously over his exposed back before ending on his bum. I roughly press down, his erection grinding against my dampened core. “Calum I-” I moan softly, my hips involuntarily grinding against Calum’s erection for just the littlest bit of friction.

“Moan my name, Y/n.” Calum groans as he rips my shirt off of my head, fingers immediately fumbling with the clasp of my bra before it goes flying across his bedroom. “Calum please.” I breathe, my pointer finger dipping in the waistband of his sweat pants, slowly dragging them off of his hips.

Calum rids himself of his clothing, leaving him completely bare in front of me. He rests on his knees at the end of the bed. His gaze is so lust filled, as if he can’t wait a second longer and it makes me squirm in my seat on the mattress.

I flinch when his cold fingertips drag my jeans and knickers down my legs. When he crawls back over my body, his hands cup my breasts roughly, drawing another loud moan from my parted lips.

I’m not in the mood for fore play, our teasing throughout the last days, maybe even weeks having to have riled me up enough to tear his clothes off of his broad frame. Our hands are wandering, our teeth clashing as our cores melt together. My back is arching off of the mattress, pressing my breasts against Calum’s hot, flushed skin.

I think Calum realizes that I’m not in the mood for more teasing as he presses himself flush against me, his erection prodding at my entrance. Our lips leave one another for a split second and his eyes lazily open, a look I can’t decipher thrown my way before he pushes into me.

A low whine leaves my parted lips, my nails digging into Calum’s biceps as he slowly starts to move his hips to find a rhythm comfortable for the both of us. Soon, strings of swear words and breathless moans start to tumble past my lips. Calum’s pace picks up, his face hidden in the crook of my neck as his breath heats up my skin.

My whole body tingles as I feel Calum’s teeth sink into my skin, my hands gripping the first things I can reach for leverage. Calum laughs against my skin before granting the now sore spot with a soothing kiss, pushing himself up on his arms to he could gaze down at me.

“’M close.” I hum in response, nodding my head, indicating him I indeed was also at the brink of euphoria. Calum shifts his body weight, one of his hands disappearing between my legs to stimulate my clitoris. He knocks the wind out of my lungs, my eyes drifting closed as I feel pleasure shoot through my spine.

“Calum, I –“ I can’t even finish my sentence as I feel my orgasm hit, me being a moaning mess underneath Calum who keeps up his pace to let me ride out my orgasm. As I feel his hips stutter, I know he isn’t far behind either. I’m sore, extremely sensitive as Calum’s movements still, a whimper leaving his lips as he squeezes his eyes closed.

When he reopens his eyes, he lifts his hand up to cup my cheek. His thumb brushes over my cheek bone as he lazily smiles at me, his arm still shaking from holding himself up. After, he drops down next to me with a loud groan, his arm thrown over his closed eyes. “Shit, I feel – I don’t know.” I laugh loudly as Calum speaks, his chest still heaving as he stumbles over his words. I kiss his shoulder briefly before sprawling myself out on his sheets, a chill running over my body as my sweat starts to evaporate.

Calum groans as he flips himself over, pressing his face into the mattress. I chuckle as I raise my hand to draw lazy circles on his bare back for a while, before my stomach grumbles and demands my attention. As I stop my motions, Calum lets out a whine of protest as he lifts his head off of his pillow to grant me with a glare.

“Now you can go search my bra and I’ll make us some dinner.” I laugh as I pat Calum’s bare ass as I crawl off of his bed and grasp one of his shirts off of the floor. I stop in the doorway to wink in his direction and see him scramble off of the bed and to the general direction he had thrown my lingerie an hour prior.

Let me know what  you think! xox

Of Food Museums and Timeless Motels

For @carryon-countdown :The prompt is “Road Trips”! I’m sorry if this makes no sense, I am only semi lucid and it’s late.


“Come on Baz, it isn’t like we’re walking the runway or anything,” Simon shouts through the motel door.

“I want to look like the best one at the gas station,” I reply, trying to get more hot water out of the shitty, rusted tap.

This is all easy for him to say. He just slaps on deodorant, blows his nose, and he’s fucking done. That’s it. I, on the other hand, like to put a little more care into my appearance.

Baz,” he whines, and I hear him slump against the door, “just throw on some deodorant and come on. We have to make it to the Texas border by sundown and it’s already 6AM.”

“I can’t believe I’m up at 6AM,” I muttered to myself, looking in the grimy mirror. It was useless, really. These bags under my eyes could almost be called a fashion statement.

“Ah, yes,” I cried, pulling the door open and watching Simon stumble as he righted himself. “I momentarily forgot I’d given all my flyer miles to come to America just to see the Dr. Pepper museum in Waco fucking Texas.”

Simon groaned, but followed me to the bed. He was dressed in worn joggers and a T-shirt that he got at the National Dairy Shrine, in Ohio. With Simon dressed like that, along with the atrociously patterned bedspread and vomit green stucco walls, I felt like I was existing in some kind of alternate reality.

I hadn’t had anything but salt & vinegar chips, and ice slushies, in nearly four days.

“Now hold on a minute,” Simon said, flopping down onto the bed. “First of all, this isn’t just about the Dr. Pepper museum. We are seeing all the major food museums in America. And second of all, this is what you promised me if I agreed to marry you.”

“You asked me to marry you.”

“That is honestly so beside the point.”

I wasn’t going to survive this vacation.

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