So picture me, playing some Dark Souls for the very first time, now 20 hours in and happily (…kinda) grinding my way through Blighttown with my faithful character Bepis Jones V. I don’t know most of the mechanics but I’ve got a solid grasp on the controls and some great armor and weaponry, plus a bit of pyromancy.
Along the way, I get how most people get in Blighttown (I’ve heard), and decide I need help. So I decide to do what the game told me to ages ago for the second time: summon an NPC helper.
So, I try to call up my main man Solaire, but instead the summon rock thingy offers me a different NPC with an odd name. I figure it’s probably as good as Solaire, and summon it. I’m greeted with a wizard who immediately starts wrecking shit all over; goddamn, this NPC is broken!
After a few minutes of running into walls, I continue my journey, little wizard NPC friend following along as happy as can be. Occasionally, I wave and beckon to it, jumping for joy as I recklessly run into big bugs and wizard friend saves me. It sometimes bows back; cool AI, I thought. I also sometimes hit and knock it into holes for my amusement. It always gets back out but I have a good laugh.
Finally, as most DS runs go, I fall into a pit. I’m dead, NPC is banished to the shadow realm until I get my humanity back or something, blah blah blah.
AND THEN THE “NPC” SENDS ME A FRIEND REQUEST ON STEAM I WASTED THIS PERFECTLY NICE GUY’S TIME FOR AN HOUR DOING STUPID SHIT BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS AN NPC I DID NOT REALIZE DARK SOULS HAD COOPERATIVE MULTIPLAYER