soulless samwinchester

Love Me Again

Sam x Reader

Summary: Sam does some regrettable things while soulless. Will he be able to win you back?

Warnings: Mentions of soulless! Sam, a little bit of angst (jkthere’salotwhoops)

A/N: I’m so sorry my updates have been slowing down. I have a TON of summer homework and band stuff, so I’m really busy. Thanks for understanding friends!

For @poemwriter98‘s Fall Writing Challenge.

Requested by me and @prob8850! (Thanks for helping me with this idea!!)

Originally posted by samcentric-fics


The saying goes “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

What a fucking lie.

You found yourself in love with the infamous Sam Winchester many years ago. Saying your relationship was rocky was an understatement, but nevertheless, you stayed strong, as if held together by the world’s strongest glue.

But, alas, nothing lasts forever, or so you thought. You had lost Sam, and when he came back, he wasn’t your Sam.

Your kind, caring boyfriend had turned into an emotionless stranger.

Both Dean and Cas tried to reassure you that it wasn’t him, but you knew deep down, maybe, he’d be in there.

You tried to hold it together, for him, for you. But love can only stretch so far.

When you saw him with a slutty blonde in his arms, you couldn’t do it anymore. Everything collapsed- your relationship with Sam, your trust.

You didn’t cry when you confronted him. You didn’t cry when he told you he never loved you, and you were just a good lay.

But, your heart did crack with an audible snap after he left with the blonde, and you left with only a note addressed to Dean.

You didn’t turn back, even when Dean called you and said they got his soul back. You couldn’t seen his face, not after what he’d done to you.

Even as several years passed, the pain you felt never ceased, only grew bearable. You decided to give up hunting, for it reminded you too much of him, choosing to work an office job instead. You bought an apartment, had a job, and had a dog. Life never felt so…normal.

That is, until one night.

You just got home from a long day at work, and you couldn’t wait to sit back and relax. You just popped open a beer, taking a swig of it, when your door was knocked on.

Strange, considering no one visited you at this time. With the same hunter instincts, you grabbed a knife from the kitchen and concealed it behind your back before swiftly opening the door.

Your heart slams into your chest when your eyes meet familiar hazel ones.

The knife falls out of your hand, clattering on the ground, but neither of you seem to notice.

“Sam?” You hesitantly speak, voice already wavering from emotion.

He nods, eyes never leaving yours. “Can I come in?”

You step out of the doorway and allow him inside. Once he sits on your couch, you hand him a beer, which he gladly takes. You notice him take a long drag out of it.

“Y/N, we have to talk.”

You flinch at the words. “About what?” You lie, hoping he’s forgotten.

Sam sighs, bouncing on his leg nervously. “I tried to find you. But you disappeared without a trace.”

You slightly laugh. “That was the point.”

He grows silent, looking down in shame. “Look, I know words can’t say how sorry I am for hurting you. Just.. Hear me out.”

“Dean and Cas told me what happened when I was soulless- How I cheated on you, what I said to you.” You notice him flinch at his own words, tears becoming glassy. “I’m so goddamn sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean any of those things, I swear. Just, please forgive me…”

Tears fall from your own eyes. Sam hand moves slightly, as if to brush them away, but he decides last minute not to.

A bit of silence passes before you speak. Your heart viciously pounds, and your hands shake. “I wanted to stop loving you. I tried every day for the past six years. But I can’t.” You both cringe at the long time difference. “I bought this apartment six years ago, and yet, I still don’t feel at home.”

He eyes you hopefully, taking in all your words.

“Sam, you’re my home, my rock. You always will be.” You smile brokenly as you wipe your tears away. All the pain begins to melt away, something that’s never happened since six years ago.

Sam smiles softly, before looking into your tear stained face again. “Will you come back with me? We need you. I need you…”

You wonder for a bit, but decide to leave behind your cherry pie life and return with your hunter, your Sam.

And the saying goes “Time heals all wounds.”

Oh, how true it is.

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Slowly he came to, the scent of burning Holy Oil strong in his nostrils. He blinked slowly & the run-down walls of the Elysian Fields Hotel came into view. On the other side of flames that is.

He sat up & ran a shaking hand through his hair. Looking around him he saw not only an overly-large ring of Holy Fire, but a set of wings scorched into the floor. So his ruse had worked, sort of. Perhaps Lucifer hadn’t been one hundred percent sure of his death…? He must have thought trapping his Vessel in Holy Oil was wise, just in case…?

No matter the case, he was well & truly trapped. The Hoy Oil prevented him from doing anything.

“Hello…? C'mon, Luce…? Can’t we talk about this? You’ve clearly got the upper hand…” He called out, his eyes darting from place to place in the run-down room. He didn’t want Lucifer to totally get the jump on him. If he was even still around. Dad knew how long he’d been out.