Lord Maccon stood up very straight. He would have towered over his second even if Lyall were not sitting down. “I am not a groveler!”

“It is possible to learn many new and interesting skills in one lifetime,” advised Professor Lyall, unimpressed by the posturing.

 - Gail Carriger, Soulless

Reasons why The Parasol Protectorate is a good series and you should read it.
  • A heroine caught in the midst of vampires and werewolves who takes control of the situation instead of always needing help from them
  • parasols as weapons
  • quirky “British” (or making fun of Brits? Not quite sure) humor that will have you doubling over from laughing
  • steampunk
  • steampunk
  • more steampunk (inluding robots, portable octopus vehicles, parasols more deadly than any gun and lots and lots of other things)
  • Queen Victoria herself as a minor character
  • ghosts who go mad with time
  • mummies
  • mummies
  • did I say mummies
  • vampires who are literally allergic to garlic. I mean sniff-your-nose, wipe-your-eyes, cough-your-throat-out kind of allergic
  • ridiculous hats
  • a completely new supernatural creature that temporarily negates the immortality of the vamps and wolves
  • vampires who form hives
  • a long and detailed history of the supernatural world
  • a world where the supernatural are the pinnacle of London society, being earls and lords and such
  • a separate division in the police dealing with the supernatural by the supernatural
  • complicated convoluted plotlines carrying over from one book into another
  • Templars
  • a human-werewolf romance that isn’t abusive or dysfunctional
  • a woman who takes no crap from anyone (and has a very specific view of the world) and can take care of herself before straightening her skirts and tugging them down to not, god forbid, show any ankle
  • a resolution to mortal-immortal relationship that doesn’t actually involve the mortal party to become immortal
  • a Scottish werewolf
  • a heartbreaking tale of a young man who loses everything he wanted but ends up gaining… more, I suppose (you’ll know who I’m talking about when you finish)
  • the best marriage you will ever encounter in fiction ever
  • the most queer-friendly piece of fiction I’ve ever encountered. Where most shows/books centered around het characters are lucky to have one or two queer characters (and even more lucky if those characters are actually awesome), three out of the five main characters in the books are gay (and there are subtle hints the main heroine might not be 100% straight either) as are numerous supporting characters and they are ALL frickin’ AWESOME.
  • it’s funny
  • funny
  • FUNNY
  • oh and the first book has delicate and prudently worded smut that will have you giggling over the way it’s described while blushing like it’s nobody’s business (yes, even you, hypothetical avid smut-reader)

I think I’ve made my point. Now go check out “Soulless”, “Changeless”, “Blameless”, “Heartless” and “Timeless” by Gail Carriger (with a sequel/spin-off series coming in 2013) and be amazed. Those five books are the best-written books I’ve ever read. I’m talking QUALITY here people.

How to Animate Someone Eating a Sandwich in the Creepiest Way Possible

Phase 1: Misshapen oddity

Phase 2: Butt magnetically pulled to ground

Phase 3: 3 noses, 16 eyes

Phase 4: Mouths should NOT do that

Phase 5: Oh, no, no, it’s getting worse

Phase 6: That was absolutely horrifying

Phase 7: Wait, Shaggy, why are you looking at me like that

Shaggy

Stop

Stop right now

SHAGGY

WHY ARE YOUR EYES LIKE THAT

WHERE DID YOUR SOUL GO, SHAGGY

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SOUL

(It’s Scooby’s Totally-Terrifying Howloween Spooktacular! Keep an eye out on the blog – extra-spooky posts are going up all night)