When interacting with a system please always take the age of the body and the person you’re talking to into consideration and treat them like the youngest age out of the two.

If you’re talking to a 12 year old in a 40 year old body, talk to them as if they’re the 12 year old they are. If you’re talking to a 40 year old in a 12 year old body you still shouldn’t say anything to them that you wouldn’t say to a 12 year old.

If anyone involved is a minor you need to talk like there is a minor present, and you should absolutely never be in a relationship with an adult fictive in the system of a minor. If you’re also an adult it’s inappropriate for the minor, and if you’re a minor then it’s inappropriate for that adult fictive to be involved with you.

My dash is still really slow so I’m doing this again

Please like or reblog if you are

  • hskin (especially if you’re looking for your Gamzee, Kurloz, or GHB)
  • pokekin (especially if you’re a part of Team Skull or the Rockruff line)
  • otgwkin (especially if you’re looking for your Wirt)
  • gfkin (I’m questioning Dipper)
  • trans or nonbinary
  • a soulbond or soulbonder
  • a system or part of a system 
  • a witch
  • a homestuck pagan
  • a pop culture pagan

or if you post

  • Homestuck
  • Pokemon
  • Horror or Horror Games
  • Five Nights at Freddy’s
  • Afterhuman stuff
  • Aesthetic images
  • Social Justice or things about equal rights
  • Witchcraft or Witch resources

To all exotrauma, endo bullshit systems:
Why the hell do you want to be a system?!
You have a life on your own.
Gosh my whole body hurts because a 7 years old traumaholder was out.
This is not fun.
It never was it never been.
Stop role playing a serious disorders.

A reminder to newer (and some older) soulbonders

Soulbonds are sentient beings who sometimes happen to be the non fictional counterparts from other places to fictional characters. They are people and deserve to be treated like people and not like fictional characters that you can play with as you want to.

For some people it might be easy to forget this because they are nonfictional counterparts to fictional characters, but you have to remember that they are people and should be treated as such.

People should never be traded or owned.

If you’ve been “trading” soulbonds because you feel like you are entitled to as their host, then you need to stop and look at what you are doing.

If you can send soulbonds over to someone and they want to go visit someone else then that is fine, but exchanging soulbonds and forcing them to leave just because you want your friend’s “cooler” bonds is wrong and it reduces them to nothing more than objects that can be played with, bought, or sold.

If you are someone who has been doing this then please stop. I’ve been hearing things about people in the community doing this and it is pretty horrible for people to treat their soulbonds like this.

People have been spreading this horrible behavoir around and telling others to do it too and that it’s ok. If you are new to the community please don’t do this. It may look “cool” and “fun” but when you do it you are dehumanizing real people and it is wrong.

Remember, a host never “owns” their soulbonds. We just happen to be the people they hang out with or are stuck with.

Malec Fanfic Rec!

Malec writing goodies from amazing writers.These are some golden works

4 times Alec almost said I love you, and the one time that he actually did by sufferingbisexual

Alec realized he was in love with Magnus. However when will he be able to actually tell him.

Across the Hall by clato27

“'She looks just like your wife,’ Magnus said, offhandedly. His gaze tore back to Alec when he heard the other man choke on the coffee he was drinking. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, are you two not married.’ 'Uh, no,’ Alec said after recovering from his coughing fit. 'Izzy is my sister.'”

Aka, the “I fell in love with the pregnant girl across the hall’s brother” AU.

Addicted To You by @imawriteriwrite

Magnus Bane’s the head of his own company. Alec Lightwood is in his last year of law school. They’ve never met but have one thing in common: neither does relationships. Just one night stands. That is until they find themselves matched on a hookup app and suddenly one night is not enough.

Also known as the one where Magnus and Alec meet and think they can have no strings attached sex and not develop feelings.

Alecs Husband by NotEvenThat

Max misses Alec and finally demands that he go with Alec and his friend.. Even if Mom says no.

Amor Aeternus by @lolguess

In a world where the Clave encourages soulbonding you would think Magnus and Alec have it easy.

And Then I Met You by @everydayfandom

Sometimes someone comes along and throws you of your life path. And sometimes that’s not such a bad thing.

Bibliophile by @dorkberto

Despite what his sister thinks about his non-existent love life, Alec is not in danger of an oncoming descent into recluse crazy cat owner. For one; Church would eat his competitors for Alec’s undivided attention and two; Alec’s a little hung up over Magnus Bane.

Blue storm by @dorkberto

Ragnor was gone.

Ragnor was gone

Bright Lights, Small Town by @lecrit

When Magnus gets to Nashville, Indiana to handle his late mother’s will, he doesn’t expect to be forced to stay there for six months. Six months away from New York and lost in the wildness of the countryside.

It quickly appears that he is going to go through six months of living hell.

The fact that he hates the local veterinarian on sight isn’t helping.

Broken Arrows by @gibberish10

Over his parabatai’s missing, Alec lashes out at everyone, including Magnus Bane, his warlock lover.

Come Undone by @gibberish10

No one has asked him how he felt, but Alec did.

Complete Me by Maleciseverything

“What one loves in childhood stays in the heart forever.” -Mary Jo Putney

Drop It Like It’s Hot by @janoda

Alec tries to deal with people behaving differently since the wedding. He hadn’t counted on Dylan from Accounting.

Fusion by prfctdaze

Magnus gets the surprise of his life when he walks in to Jade Wolf.

Happy Birthday, Beautiful by @themagnusbane

The thing about having lived for centuries is that birthdays are no longer such a big deal. A pity no one told that to Magnus Bane’s party extraordinaire boyfriend: Alec Lightwood.

Hold me tightly by Tchell1

“I thought you had died, Alexander” Magnus finally said as a way of explaining himself “I saw you die”

Hypnotise by highlytrainedfangirl

Alec had a problem. One that was wrapped up in exquisite clothing and dusted in glitter. Alec was quickly realising that being around Magnus was terrible for his composure. Ignoring the fact that he could barely string a sentence together without tripping over his words, he’d discovered a new distraction: magic.

I found God but it wasn’t supposed to be by @intangibel

After closing a particularly spectacular legal case Magnus sends Ragnor a celebratory text only to find himself the victim of autocorrect and having to explain to a very handsome angel (Alec) that he isn’t God, no matter how much he wishes he was right now.

In The Cards by Obssesivecompulsivereadr

Magnus wore cardigans and baggy slacks. He owned two cats, and he lived in a home more suitable for an elderly mundane woman for a reason. He was to remain boring and unsuitable for most associations with people. He did not like attention, no matter how positive it might be. He was to seem eccentric and weird. Living a life focused on magic that was supposed to not exist.

Into You by @darrenchristsupastar

Alec has more layers than we may have previously thought

It’s Time To Lose Your Virginity, Brother Dearest by @themagnusbane

Magnus Bane is a famous stripper, used to pretty boys falling in love with him after one dance. The feeling is hardly ever mutual. But when he meets the freshly turned twenty-one year old Alec lightwood, he can’t take his eyes off him, and they find themselves in love quicker than they expected.

Looking at him by @jainsel-and-the-ships

Alec Lightwood is in love with his best friend and colleague Jace.
Jace is straight and at the moment he’s dating this Clary girl. Alec is certain it won’t last, as all his friend’s previous relationships.
Then there’s Magnus Bane, another co-worker and a man who sure knows how to make Alec feel embarrassed.
Something’s going on between Alec and Magnus.
Something’s going on between Jace and Clary too…

Magic and Rum by NotEvenThat

Shortly after the party, Magnus finds Max in the kitchen.

Make a home out of you by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion

“There is a delicate system in place and you are destroying it, Alexander Lightwood. Unhand my pants.”

“Now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear you say. You’re usually encouraging me to put my hands on your pants.”

Morning hair by @lollylokoala

While Magnus was completely aware of the effect Alec had on him, he didn’t know that a tiny little detail in Alec’s morning look could make his heart skipped a beat.

My Heart Smiles by pseudofoucault333 

Magnus is an interior designer who is dreading going to his yearly Christmas party and Alec a waiter who has dealt with more than enough Christmas cheer to last a lifetime. But when the two set eyes on the other across a crowded restaurant are they going to be destined for more when the festive season is over?

My True Love Gave To Me by @imawriteriwrite

Magnus Bane had a plan, a perfect Christmas Eve just like always. Hang out with his friends, bask in the Christmas Spirit. Then everything went wrong.

Now he’s stuck reliving the same day again and again and again. The bright side? Maybe Alec Lightwood isn’t as terrible as Magnus always thought.

Never Stand Between Two Mirrors by @oncethrown

Alec has enough on his plate right now. His parents are furious at him, Magnus Bane is making him feel things he’s trying so hard not to feel, his wedding is coming up, and his world is breaking apart.What he doesn’t need is a fussy mundane version on himself showing up in the Institute basement. What he doesn’t need is Magnus telling him that they’ll just have to wait for Seelie Magic to suck that version of himself back to his own dimension.But since when does Alec get what he needs?

Alternate Dimension Alec gets trapped in the Shadowhunter reality at some point after the “I know you feel what I feel” scene. The gang desperately tries to stop chaos from ensuing. 

Nothing But A Distraction by @actuallyredorchid

Clary doesn’t sneak away when Alec’s on the phone, so Alec accepts Magnus’ invitation to “go out for a drink”.

Off to a bad start by @fangtasticsaphael

“How did you manage to never run into him? He’s always helping with stuff and he’s even been at the institute about three weeks ago to strengthen the wards against further attacks from Valentine,” she replied and looked at her brother incredulously. Alexander scrunched up his nose and shrugged.

“Well, maybe I have better things to do than waiting around to watch some overrated warlock do magic tricks,” he commented a little defensively but it was the truth. He always had something to do and even when they were not out demon hunting, he had either paperwork to do or train.

“Pardon me, but I’m not just some overrated warlock. I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn and that title is well deserved, if I may say so. And I’m appalled that you refer to my magic as petty tricks. You Nephilim always act to high and mighty, yet you’re constantly in need of some tricks from overrated warlocks to help you out of some unnecessary dilemma,” a foreign voice interjected and Alec whirled around, fingers instinctively curling around his bow to be ready to attack if need be. The owner of the voice was not what Alexander had expected, to be honest.

Oh lover, hold on by @fireblazie

The mask and goggles clatter to the ground. Isabelle makes a choked noise, and Jace whispers, paper-thin, “Alec?”

Magnus stops breathing as Alec’s gaze—cold, dead, and empty—comes to rest impassively on them.

“Who the hell is Alec?”

(Loosely based on Captain America: The Winter Soldier.)

One Show Only by KouriArashi

It’s hard to stay in the closet when the guy you had a one-night stand with two nights ago turns out to be your new partner … but Alec will be damned if he isn’t going to give it a try.

People say crazy things by @ohlafraise

“But what I don’t get is why Magnus cares so much about a random shadowhunter,” Jocelyn said.

Simon winced. “Oh, boy.”

Pick up lines by Gracefanfics

Admittly maybe using pick up lines in the middle of your brother’s rune party was a bad idea.

A short fic about Alec not having great timing in using pick up lines on Magnus.

Shooting Pool by @malec-is-pretty

Magnus and Alec go on their date and a simple game of pool gets them a little wound up.

Somewhere safe to finally break by onefootintheboilinghotlava

With the war finally over, Magnus had time to be alone and his mind decided to bring up all the things and people he had lost in the war at once. At his own loft, with his two beloved cats sleeping soundly, Magnus broke down……

Tampons and Concealer? By onefootintheboilinghotlava

So Izzy sent Alec to get tampons and concealer…Alec was standing in the drugstore, not even sure where to begin, when a handsome stranger offered to help.

That’s your cue by @theleftboobgrabber

“Keep your hands to yourself,” Alec tells Magnus apropos of nothing.

Magnus frowns. “I’m on the other side of the table!” he protests… not that he wasn’t thinking about some light groping per say, but they’re in public, Alec might not be into it and, while he’s good at concealing it, Magnus does have manners. Sometimes.

My take on Magnus and Alec’s date.

The Choices of the Chosen by KouriArashi

The day after his 21st birthday, Alec is sent to the demonic court as a gladiator, where he makes both friends and enemies … along with meeting Magnus Bane, who doesn’t seem to fit in either category.

The Only Magic I Believe In (Is The Magic I Receive From Loving You) by @delilahbelle

Or, four gifts Alec gives Magnus.

“No one’s ever done anything like that for me before.”

Alec’s face softens. “Well, I’m going to do it for as long as I’m alive. So get used to it.”

The Second Kiss by @simonseroticfriendfiction

“So here we are.” Magnus said, taking a step closer to Alec.

Alec gulped and took a deep breath in through his nose. “Yeah, here we are.” He squeezed his fingers nervously in his fists as he caught Magnus glancing towards his lips. “I-I suppose you want me to kiss you?” He stuttered, voice faltering.

This Christmas (You’re Someone Special) by vulturemonem 

Last Christmas, Magnus Bane had his heart broken.

Again, and again, and again.

And he didn’t think it would be mended anytime soon. He certainly didn’t think he’d be ready to let anybody in. Until a beautiful boy walks into his shop, and steals his breath with shy glances, kind words, and a fantastic coffee machine.

Maybe this Christmas will be better.

Or: In which Camille is awful, Ragnor and Raphael are an old married couple, and Magnus can’t help but be enamoured by Alec Lightwood.

This Night Is Not Forever by @isabellebiwoods

Alec Lightwood is a happily settled down man in a loving, caring relationship. But things weren’t always that way… and once upon a time, Alec used his Valentine’s Day to celebrate the spirit of the night as much as possible.

aka. world inverted legendary lothario alec lightwood

Too Much is Never Enough by Obsessivecompulsivereadr

They are on opposite edges of the same ideal. Alec so young, and Magnus so much older. Alec a blessed acolyte of the Angel, Raziel. Magnus the abandoned son of the Greater Demon, Asmodeus. Magnus with so much more unimportant and irrelevant experience, and Alec with none. They could not be more different if they tried, and yet, they are also the same. A matched set of uncertainty and inability to accept that someone might want them for exactly who they are.

Top Three by @nebulein

So.” Alec flops back onto the bed, sprawled in a lazy heap on his back, sated and boneless. Magnus is already lying on his belly, basking in the afterglow, and he surreptitiously steals closer, burrowing against Alec’s side. “Best sex of my life.”

Magnus hums, resting his head on his arms, revelling in the thrill those words send through him.

“Or, well,” Alec hazardously waves an arm around, “easily in the top three.”

Magnus giggles. He has no idea where that came from. It’s uncharacteristic for him. Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn is usually much too dignified to giggle. But then Alec turns his head and grins at Magnus, lopsided and loopy but brilliant, oh so brilliant, warming Magnus from the inside out and maybe this is exactly the kind of situation which calls for a giggle, so Magnus will allow it. Just this once.

“How about you?”

Twenty-One-Year-Old Alec Lightwood by Obsessivecompulsivereadr

Alec tries not to want Magnus, but it goes about as well as all those other things Alec’s tried not to want throughout the years. Which is… badly

Warm In Your Light by @actuallyredorchid

It’s far too easy, letting himself be swept away.

(S02E07 missing scene)

We must choose to reach out and touch by Ambros

Magnus holds out his hand, a silver chain running around his middle finger and wrist, and Alec doesn’t have the time to process it – to think, doesn’t have the time to realise what’s going to happen because he has to take it and he does, electricity dancing through their fingers and down his back and he tries not to think about it, holds out his own hand for Jace and feels unbalanced; he knows Jace’s touch, remembers it from roughing each other up when they were kids even though he tried to forget it, to turn it into a ghost when he understood, but Magnus’ is new and smooth and unassuming and he feels uncomfortable, doesn’t know what to do with it.

Who Ya Gonna Call? By @menckenschrestomethy

“You have to—“

“Help you?” Magnus filled in dryly.

Or: The Six Times Magnus helped someone, and the one time they try to help him

Will you be my best friend? Will you be my last? by @lightwoodlesbians

or the 'you pretended to be my partner bc my ex wouldn’t stop talking to me’ au

You Are Certainly My Poison of Choice by iktwabrokenbone

So there he was. Midnight, at a party. Preparing himself to do something with a guy. To spend one night getting all of this- this unspeakable desire out of his system. He needed to forget it before he made a mistake and ruined his career, his chances of becoming Head of the New York Institute.

(Alec’s panic attacks were getting worse and worse and maybe if he spent one night with a guy he could get it out of his system, and he could forget being gay and loving Jace. But nothing went that smoothly, so of course Alec’s one night stand had to be Magnus Bane, and they had to keep bumping into each other. It wasn’t like Alec wanted to understand his emotions, anyway.)

For more Malec Fanfics

Learned a word today that some people might find useful:

Karass - a group of people that are linked in a cosmically significant manner, even when superficial linkage is not evident.

The original term was coined by Kurt Vonnegut. Basically, “we’re a group that came together for some reason or other and we manage to get shit done.” I figured it applied to plenty of systems/collectives and so was a good word to share.

Every Heart is a Doorway

“Every Heart a Doorway” is a book, and it is also a devious and calculated torture method for alterhumans.

If you are someone who experiences the feeling of “this earth is not my world. I come from another, stranger land that is my home. I remember it, I can practically feel it, but no one else believes its anything other than a fantasy” this book will take that feeling and beat you about the head and shoulders with it.

As someone from another world, reading a paragraph of this book feels like the little mermaid feeling knives with her every step on land. I have cried 3 or 4 times and I am on page 48.

Specifically, Every Heart is a Doorway is a book about children like Dorothy, or Alice, or Wendy and her brothers, or the Pevensie children who travel to, and make their home in another world, only to find themselves back on earth with no way to get home. The book is about a school for these children.

For those keeping sore there’s also a POC among the main characters and someone who’s canonically trans. (ftm) Oh and the main character identifies herself as asexual.

Here are some quotes from the book so far (no spoilers, because I’m hardly on chapter three)

THE GIRLS WERE NEVER present for the entrance interviews. Only their parents, their guardians, their confused siblings, who wanted so much to help them but didn’t know how. It would have been too hard on the prospective students to sit there and listen as the people they loved most in all the world—all this world, at least—dismissed their memories as delusions, their experiences as fantasy, their lives as some intractable illness.

At least while they were with her, they would be with someone who understood. Even if they would never have the opportunity to go back home, they would have someone who understood, and the company of their peers, which was a treasure beyond reckoning.

Eleanor West spent her days giving them what she had never had, and hoped that someday, it would be enough to pay her passage back to the place where she belonged.

“You can’t put a Nonsense traveler in with someone who went walking through Logic, not unless you feel like explaining a remarkable amount of violence to the local police.” 

Because she had wanted to know what was at the end of the long path between the trees, and because she hadn’t wanted to turn back before she understood everything. Because for the first time in forever, she’d felt like she was going home, and that feeling had been enough to move her feet, slowly at first, and then faster, and faster, until she had been running through the clean night air, and nothing else had mattered, or would ever matter again—

“I don’t dye my hair!” Nancy’s protest was heated. Sumi stopped talking and blinked at her. Eleanor turned to look at her. Nancy’s cheeks grew hot as the blood rose in her face, but she stood her ground, somehow keeping herself from reaching up to stroke her hair as she said, “It used to be all black, like my mother’s. When I danced with the Lord of the Dead for the first time, he said it was beautiful, and he ran his fingers through it. All the hair turned white around them, out of jealousy. That’s why I only have five black streaks left. Those are the parts he touched.”

“ Hope means you keep on holding to things that won’t ever be so again, and so you bleed an inch at a time until there’s nothing left.”

“ I guess I should tell you I’m taken,” said Sumi breezily. “He’s a candy corn farmer from the far reaches of the Kingdom and my one true love, and we’re going to get married someday. Or we would have, if I hadn’t gone and gotten myself exiled. Now he’ll tend his fields alone, and I’ll grow up and decide that he was just a dream, and maybe one day my daughter’s daughter will visit his grave with licorice flowers and a prayer for the departed on her lips.” 

I will probably do a full review of this book if I manage to read all of it without expiring dramatically next to my still beating heart.

You might be a soulbonder if…

  • You are a writer/roleplayer whose fictional characters “have a will of their own” or “refuse to do what they’re supposed to”
  • You experience fictional entities sharing your mind/body in a unique way
  • You have the sense that fictional characters spontaneously or gradually take up residence in your mind as full people.
  • You feel like you can ‘channel’ fictional characters spirits  the way a medium would channel the spirits of dead people.
  • You have a fully or partially realized internal space where characters interact in your mind with one another and/or with you
  • You ‘just know’ things about certain characters even though they were never stated in their source material, whether you are the author or not. (character’s exact height, favorite ice cream, etc)
  • Someone in fiction, or in real life, addresses a certain character and a reply just automatically comes out of your mouth.
  • You get into whole conversations with people ‘as’ a fictional character without meaning to
  • You experience periods of being a fictional character/a fictional character inhabiting your body (shifts/fronting)
  • You pose a question mentally to a character and they answer back.
  • You ‘sense’ the presence of a certain character in your mind mentally/emotionally
  • You sense that a character has a certain emotion for you/or wants something from/for you
  • You feel an emotional connection/friendship with a character that feels returned

If any of these sound like experiences you’ve had, you might be a soulbonder!

You can find out more about soulbonding here.

Kin without Ableism

Identifying as otherkin or having kintypes can be a fantastic coping mechanism or a spiritual belief, however, neither coping nor spirituality are exempt from potentially being ableist.  

Please don’t:

  • Use the word “system” to describe your collection of kintypes. This is a word used by people with Dissociative Identity Disorder to describe the collection of identities severe childhood trauma split off. This is not appropriate to use for kin. This especially goes for alter- alters are trauma-split identity fragments in DID, not kintypes. I’d prefer you not use “headmates” either, regardless of what kin experiences you’re using the word to describe, there’s probably a better word to use.
  • Use the word fronting to describe kinshifts. Instead of, “Keith is fronting right now,” please try “I’m kinshifting Keith,” “I’m really feeling Keith right now,” etc. Fronting is related to alters and DID. It’s not appropriate to use for kin. 
  • Claim amnesia between kinshifts. Kinshifts are shifts of your identity, how you feel, how you react to situations. You shouldn’t have memory issues or a different core identity between kinshifts, and if you do, you need to seek professional help because you could be having seizures or another serious issue. 
  • Intentionally fracture off parts of yourself or treat specific kintypes as “not you.”
  • Diagnose your kintypes with mental illnesses and claim to have those mental illnesses because of kintypes. If you feel like you might have a severe mental illness, it’s up to you to cope with that and work on feeling better. 
  • Equate kin memories to repressed memories or “true” body memories. If a part of your spirituality is believing in past lives and you have memories of your kintypes, that’s great! However, equating it to recovered trauma memories, body memories (things you’ve experienced in this lifetime), etc is ableist. 
  • Don’t take up trauma survivor’s spaces based on kin memories of trauma. If you have a kintype that’s survived CSA, you may not claim space as a CSA survivor unless you’ve experienced that trauma in this body/life. If you have repressed trauma, it could present as nightmares and you could misinterpret that as kin memories. If you have nightmares of trauma or think you have traumatic kin memories, it’s definitely worth looking into with a therapist. You could be recovering memories and it would be damaging to cast them aside as kin memories. 

Please do:

  • Seek professional help if kintypes make you feel worse. If you feel out of control, if you feel like kintypes are controlling you or hurting yourself/others, if you feel disconnected from reality, if you have vivid or traumatic kin memories, if you have hallucinations/delusions, if kintypes make you feel worse instead of better at any point, please seek professional help. There could be something else going on.
  • Do educate yourself on the differences between tulpas, soulbonds, kintypes, etc and alters. Fictives (fictional introjects) are a type of alter, which again are specific to DID. Alters are split off from severe childhood trauma, and fictives are just alters who have similar grounded identities to that of fictional characters. This is not equatable to kintypes, IDs, soulbonds, etc. 
  • Listen to members of marginalized groups and keep your coping and spiritual beliefs free of ableism, racism, transphobia, etc!
  • Use your kintypes to make yourself a better person! It can be a powerful coping tool and a powerful tool for spirituality! If you’re using kin to cope with trauma, mental illness, everyday life, etc, that’s great. I’m pro-kin, just not pro-ableism and silencing of trauma survivors!

Kintypes are not the same as alters. The core difference is that kintypes are you, whereas alters are split from severe dissociation and trauma and are not you. It’s disrespectful and ableist to equate these. 

Most of the time, kintypes and related beliefs and behaviors can be changed and directed. If your behavior is ableist, racist, or unhealthy for you, it can be changed for the positive! Coping behaviors and spiritual beliefs are not exempt from criticism. 

Drawing strength from Soulbonding for mental/emotional support

(temp edit: Hi to those of you from tumblrinaction. feel free to ask questions :) )

Sometimes the best friend, and the best support, is someone so close to you, they’re sharing your body with you.

Soulbonds can be an amazing source of emotional and mental support, and they are something that pretty much anyone can experience to a greater or lesser degree.

Soulbonds are a type of fictive headmate that has an attachment to, or some kind of emotional stake in the wellbeing of the soulbonder who hosts them. They are a spiritual phenomenon the originates outside the mind/body of the soulbonder, who calls or attracts the soulbond to them from another world. Being a soulbonder is like being a channeller or medium, except instead of spirits of the dead, one shares mental space with the spirits of fictional characters.

(Soulbonding can be compared with creating a tulpa. The difference is a tulpa is created inside the mind as a deliberate act of creation, and created for a specific purpose, with no existence before they are created. Soulbonds on the other hand are real people before one comes in contact with them.)

Because soulbonds have an emotional attachment and stake in their bonder, they can be an excellent source of emotional support for people in a difficult position in life, or who have experienced trauma or abuse.

A soulbond can be there for you, when no one else is there, to give you words of comfort, advice, or praise. A bond can hold you mentally when you need a shoulder to cry on. Soulbonds can offer their own wisdom and experience to you in unfamiliar situations.

Some bonds can even take over your body for you in times of stress, and deal with situations that would cause you discomfort or distress.

Soulbonds can act as guardians, advisers, friends, and even lovers, and their presence can be a great comfort.

Even if you have never had a soulbond, or any other type of headmate before, you can probably call one. Not everyone can get a soulbond, but I have found that most people who have the desire to find one have the ability for it. Even people who are normally singlets and/or neurotypical can have soulbonds, though singlets usually (not always) are not able to let their bonds use their body completely.

People have all types of characters for soulbonds. Even characters that are typically unpleasant or hostile can make good (if sometimes standoffish) bonds, because they have an emotional link with their bonder. Though, sometimes villainous bonds tend to give advice that sounds good to *them* but would be impractical at best, and illegal/immoral at worst. Still, they are often comforting to have around because they can be very mentally ‘tough’ and ward off a lot of external stress.

Here are some tips if you’d like to get started soulbonding:

Soulbonds tend to link up to people in one of three ways.

1) Permanent resident: The soulbond attaches to you , and moves in completely, becoming a new, permanent headmate. They are unable or unwilling to return to their original realm, and are now a part of this one.

2) Day tripper: The soulbond links up to you, and uses your mind like a time share. They go back and forth between their realm, and this one. Sometimes they can communicate from a distance while they’re in the other realm, sometimes they can only talk to you when they’re here.

3) Internal Cellphones: The link between you and your soulbond is like a permanent phone connection. You are here on earth, doing your thing, and they are in their realm living their own life, and the two of you talk back and forth as if over a shared phone mental phone line.

The advice I would give someone looking to become a soulbonder is this:

  • pick one character, a character who resonates with you, and you have a lot of feelings for. Not a character necessarily that you think is a lot like yourself, but a character you admire for their strength, or sympathize with for their problems. Essentially a character that you have strong “feels” for.
  • Ruminate on that character. Try to ‘get to know’ them as deeply as possible. View/read/listen to all their source material, and any fanfiction that speaks to you as 'true to character’. Collect pictures of them. Do anything that keeps your mind focused on them, as if calling out to them. Keep the character in your mind during the day, maintain your feelings for them.
  • Ask during the day (in your mind) what would X do? What would X want? (Getting ice cream? ask them what flavor they want. Having difficulty with something? ask what they would do)
  • Eventually  if you’ve established a bond, they will answer back from the back of your mind. It may be faint at first, and you may be inclined to dismiss it as you pretending, but don’t do that. Keep asking questions and talking back when you receive an answer. This will strengthen the bond.
  • Another way to do this would be to do it on paper instead of your mind. Write a scene with you and the character, as descriptive and detailed as you can make it, and write a conversation back and forth between you. Eventually, if you’ve established a bond, you’ll start to 'hear’ their answers before you write them.
  • If none of this works after a while, pick a different character. It may be that the character you’ve been focused on just isn’t receptive/isn’t the right bond for you right now.

The number one key to soulbonding is to be in tune with your inner mind, and to listen! sometimes you will be surprised and the soulbond who turns up will not be the one you are expecting. But I guarantee they will be the one you need.

quick and dirty guide to types of headmates and related terms

I’ve been asked more than a few times about the differences between soulbonds, headmates, fictives, etc, so here’s a little guide that I hope will help with terminology.

Headmate: Any type of person/spirit/identity that shares mental space with at least one other person/spirit/identity. This term was coined by outside of the traumagenic community by ‘natural multiples’ to be used in place of the medical term ‘alter’, a term which some felt was inaccurate and/or demeaning. Headmate is an umbrella term that includes all other terms below, and is a generic term to refer to any person existing as a multiple that does not have a more specific term.

Alter: A type of headmate that is believed to be one singular identity of a traumagenic multiple. Alters are fragmented identities created in the mind of a person who has undergone trauma at a young age, before a singular identity state cemented itself. As of now, alters are the only form of specifically medically or scientifically recognized headmate, and even their existence is questioned by much of the scientific community.

Fictive: Any type of headmate that is, believes they are, assumes the identity of, or is deliberately created to resemble a fictional character, or member of a fictional species.

Fictional Introject: A fictive alter.

Soulbond: A type of headmate that is believed to be a spirit/person from another world, that has some type of emotional attachment to the host or another headmate in the body called the soulbonder.  Many soulbonds do not front, or interact with this world, but only interact internally with their bonder, and because of this not all soulbonders consider themselves multiples.

Insourced bond: A soulbond that is not a fictive, or is who is technically a fictive but was written about/”created” by the soulbonder.

Outsourced bond: a soulbond that is also a fictive.

Walk-In: A type of headmate that is believed to come in from outside the body, sometimes replacing the original inhabitant.

Tulpa: a type of headmate that is believed to be deliberately created with one’s own energy, often magical in nature.

Multipicity: The state of believing that someone experiences sharing their mind/body with one or more other persons/spirits/identities.

Multiple: Anyone who believes they experience sharing their mind/body with one or more other persons/spirits/identities.

Singlet: Anyone who does not believe they experience sharing their mind/body with any other persons/spirits/identities.

Dissociative Identity Disorder/OSDD-1: psychological disorders believed to be caused by trauma in early childhood, causing the sufferer’s identity to split or fail to cohere, resulting in multiple independent identities. Currently the only medically/scientifically accepted understanding of multiplicity, their validity as a diagnosis is debated within the medical community.

Traumagenic multiplicity: A state of multiplicity believed to be induced by severe trauma.

Endogenic multiplicity: A state of multiplicity believed to be internally formed without exposure to trauma.

Natural multiplicity, non-trauma multiplicity: Other words used sometimes used to describe multiplicity that is not rooted in trauma.

System: Generic term for all headmates sharing one body. A minority of traumagenic multiples claim this word is traumagenic only, however, the entire multiple community including non-trauma based multiples have been using the term since at least 1995.

Collective: Term for all headmates sharing one body that isn’t ‘system’. 

Top Ten Awesome Fanfics *

* yep, not “all-time favourite”, because I cannot choose in all objectivity only ten fics. This list is a list of ten fics* chosen in my five main fandoms that I love and feel like they should be read, but it could have been ten others … It’s very hard to choose. One day I’ll do a real masterpost fic rec …
* yes, I’ve cheated. There are waaaaay more than just ten fics here … Sorry not sorry.

The lovely @justkeeponthegrass had a brillant idea : to make a collection of our favourite fanfics to show writers just how much we appreciate, respect and admire their work. I personally owe a great deal to fanfic writers, especially in the Merlin fandom, for they helped me get through a very hard period of my life. Fanfic writers have been and are constant companions of my life, whether I’m sad, happy, tired or feeling excited, they always deliver, they are amazing people who do an amazing work just because they like it. I admire the hell out of any of you, and the following ten titles, plus the special and honorable mentions, are me trying to tell you how much you mean. Very, very long post incoming …

Originally posted by whyso-se-ri0us

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