Top 10 moments when ACOMAF shattered my heart in the best way possible
Okay, now that I’ve spent my whole week just living and breathing about ACOMAF… re-reading ACOMAF… and just thinking about it obsessively and telling ALL my friends about it… I feel like now it is a good time to post this. I’m going to post my top 10 moments in ACOMAF where MY HEART BROKE. And I hope you guys can agree–because this fandom is one soul, and we ride and die together.
10. When Feyre comforts Rhysand after waking him up from his nightmare.
Like first of all, OW. It just breaks my heart over and over to think about what Amarantha did to Rhys, and what scars it left behind.
But… what broke my heart more was this:
“But–but how many nights had I wanted someone to do the same for me?”
AND I’M JUST LIKE FEYRE SUFFERED ALONE IN THE SPRING COURT
Because some stupid High Lord of the Spring Court just pretended to be asleep whenever she vomited her guts out, and pretended everything was all fine and dandy. You claim to love her, and yet, you let this happen. tamlin u shit bag
9. Lucien and Feyre reunion after Feyre goes to the Night Court.
“You gave up on me.”
Look, guys, I know Lucien is not a bad person. Deep down, he is a good, troubled person who has a lot of his own scars, and I know that he does consider Feyre to be his friend and he does care about her. But he also chooses to yield to Tamlin at the end of everything. He does fight for her, but he doesn’t fight enough against Tamlin. Now, this could be because Tamlin does instill a lot of fear in Lucien–which, if it’s true, it is not a healthy friendship, even if Tam is Lucien’s High Lord. But it makes me wonder, you know. Where is our fiery Lucien, who once spat at Tamlin’s feet? I really do hope that Elain will help him change for the better. Or that he comes to this realization from himself. Man, I love Lucien, but he’s going to have to do a lot more to redeem himself.
Because, see, even Rhys thinks that Lucien would’ve stepped in.
And this breaks Feyre’s heart, that her friend wouldn’t do this for her. And she would’ve fought for Lucien until the end, no doubt about.
“I thought so, too” HA HA HA LET ME LIE IN MY OWN PUDDLE OF TEARS
8. The scars that remain with Rhys because of Amarantha.
The next scene that broke my heart happens during the sexytimes between Feyre and Rhys.
Okay, just re-reading this scene is making me really emotional. So I don’t know if I’m going to be coherent enough to say this. But like, guys. I think this scene is important–and heartbreaking at the same time–because it’s a moment where Rhysand’s scars are acknowledged. Again, it is so rare in YA fiction to see a male character who has been sexually abused, and Sarah explores the scars that remain within Rhysand. And it’s also important because he’s also able to overcome these scars, and find happiness even after the darkest of times.
7. How Rhysand is treated in Velaris vs. Under the Mountain
Okay, so I like how 8 and 7 relate to each other.
What struck me about this scene was: “no one whispered about him or spat on him or stroked him as they had Under the Mountain”
What really breaks my heart here is that it’s not just Amarantha that violated Rhys. Others did it too, because Amarantha did it, because Rhys was Amarantha’s whore, and therefore, her property.
And this makes me really sick to my stomach. And it breaks my heart. fuck
6. Feyre realizing how sad she is at the Spring Court before her wedding.
THIS PHYSICALLY HURTS
my poor baby Feyre
I spent a good portion of time during the beginning of the novel wanting to wrap her in a warm blanket, hug her, and tell her it’s okay.
And Tamlin, CAPTAIN OBLIVIOUS, is able to laugh freely. I’m gonna fight him
Even Rhys in Chapter 11 goes: “Months and months, and you’re still a ghost. Does no one there ask what the hell is happening? Does your High Lord simply not care?” (Shall we count this as like an honourable mention moment for when my heart broke into a million pieces… again)
ha ha ha ha let me DIE my heart can’t take this
5. Rhysand asks Feyre about her birthday.
This isn’t a sad scene, but it still moved me and broke my heart because you can obviously tell how much Rhys loves Feyre.
FEYRE’S BIRTHDAY IS THE WINTER SOLSTICE
THE LONGEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR
“YOU WERE TRULY BORN ON THE WINTER SOLSTICE?”
YES RHYS MY SMOL SON YOUR MATE WAS BORN ON THE LONGEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR YES YOU TRULY BELONG TOGETHER
But also, like. Rhys seems genuinely sad that Feyre did not celebrate her birthday. Do I foresee belated birthday gift/party in ACOTAR 3? Because yes I will sell my soul for this
4. Feyre walking away from Rhysand after learning about the mating bond
Okay, no, I totally understand why Feyre is angry enough that she wants some time alone away from Rhysand once she learns from the Suriel that they’re mates. I’ve seen people hating on her for it… but c’mon. Really? You don’t think you’d be angry? Angry enough to walk away? I mean I’d want my own space to think too
But yeah it still broke my heart because Rhysand just calls after her… injured and weakened… ahaha…..ha…. why…
Now we’re rolling into the final 3… and honestly, these broke my heart the most and made me cry. I still want to weep when I think about them.
3. Rhysand noticing Feyre’s weight loss
He cares so much about her. *UGLY WAILING* *falls to the floor*
And he makes sure she eats properly. And wants to have breakfast with her.
RHYSAND YOU PRECIOUS SOUL
cue ugly sobbing, with the snot and everything
rhysand calling tam out on his shitty behaviour
2. Cassian and Feyre training
This is still one of my favourite scenes, and I … just. The whole scene leading up to it is an emotional roller coaster–Cassian saying that he’s there for Feyre if she wants to talk about leaving the Spring Court, the whole “I’m fine” thing, and how Feyre just realizes she did everything for Tamlin… and he just…. left her to suffer alone.
He’s ready to take the blow.
CASSIAN WOULD TAKE THE BLOW.
BECAUSE HE CARES ABOUT FEYRE AND WANTS TO HELP HER COPE.
BECAUSE HE UNDERSTANDS.
Rhys is precious, Cassian is precious….. the whole Night Court squad is precious. I just love them so muchhhhhhh.
And now. . . okay.
The final scene had me in full blown tears.
1. Amren x Feyre
SHE ASKS RHYS THIS LIKE 3 TIMES
SHE DEMANDS TO KNOW WHERE FEYRE IS
AND AND AND AMREN ISN’T ALWAYS VOCAL ABOUT HER FEELINGS AND SHE’S SCARY AND SHE’S VICIOUS
BUT SHE LOVES FEYRE
IT’S THE MOMENT YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH AMREN–AND THE REST OF THE COURT–ALSO LOVE FEYRE, A FELLOW DREAMER
D E A D
LOWER ME TO THE GROUND
This post also made me very emotional again. Thanks for reading. And if you know want to discuss ACOMAF with me, and the scenes that broke your heart (because there are like 10 million more)… feel free to shoot me a message.
A Mare was believed to be a spectral visitor: a dark spirit that takes the form of an animal, a beautiful lover, a disfigured hag, or a demon which visited men in their dreams, and rode their chests, bringing on bad dreams or “nightmares,” and dragging life out of them.
Aside from demons, Mares could also be witches, who were known to take on the form of an animal when their spirits went forth from their bodies in trance, called a “fetch”. These were usually small animals which left the body through the mouth, such as: moths, bees or wasps, birds, or frogs, and acted as a vessel for the disembodied soul, and as such was directly linked to the person’s fate and well-being. The fetch could also take the form of a larger animal, usually a hare, a cat or dog, a horse, or even an oxen. The fetch became corrupted when weaponized and projected forth for nefarious purposes, such as to cast malefic witchcraft or blight, or to drain the vitality of others, and becomes a foul hag or mare; akin to a projection of the ugliness of the person’s true essence. Moths especially were associated with the Mare, and often finding them dead where one sleeps was believed to indicate her visitations.
The word “Mare” comes, through the Middle English mare, from Old English mære, mare, or mere. These in turn come from Common Germanic marōn, from which are derived the Dutch: “nachtmerrie”, and German: "nachtmahr”. The -mar in the French word “cauchemar,” meaning "nightmare,” is borrowed from the Germanic through the Old French mare. The word may ultimately be traced back to the reconstructed Proto-Indo-European root mer-, meaning "to rub away” or “to harm”. Hungarian folklorist ÉvaPócs endorses an alternate etymology, tracing the core term back to the Greek μόρος (Indo-European moros), meaning “death”.
In Norwegian and Danish, the words for “nightmare” are mareritt and mareridt respectively, which can be directly translated as “mare-ride”. The Icelandic word martröð has the same meaning: -tröð, from the verb troða, meaning “trample”, “stamp on”, related to “tread”. Whereas the Swedish mardröm translates as “mare-dream”.
The Mare was also believed to ride horses, which left them exhausted and covered in sweat by the morning, or sickened to the point of death. She could also entangle the hair of the sleeping man or beast, resulting in “marelocks,” or “hag knots”. This is closely related to the lore surrounding Hag-Riding.
A Ward Against The Mare
The German Folklorist Franz Felix Adalbert Kuhn records a Westphalian charm or prayer used to ward off mares, from Wilhelmsburg near Paderborn:
Hier leg’ ich mich schlafen, Keine Nachtmahr soll mich plagen, Bis sie schwemmen alle Wasser, Die auf Erden fließen, Und tellet alle Sterne, Die am Firmament erscheinen!
Here I am lying down to sleep; No Night-Mare shall plague me Until they have swum through all Waters That flow upon the Earth, And counted all Stars That appear in the Firmament!
Their fingers lace together, a knot against the anxiety that bubbles under Soul’s skin. Maka kisses their intertwined fingers, smiling at him. “You look so scared.”
“I’ve never been on a red carpet before.” He sighs, running his free hand through his hair, removing any of the style that had previously been presented. She waves his fears away with her hand.
“It’s a really long walk, and people take photos of you the whole time, and they’ll ask you about your character’s development and they’ll ask me about my dress and if I had to diet to play my role. Trust me, you’ve got the easy crowd tonight.”
“Yeah? And what about you? Feeling good?” He asks, knowing he might get a brilliant smile or a fist in his gut for asking. The universe gives him a smile, and Maka nods.
“Yeah, I know it’s only been a few months but…I feel so different. Not like…better? But still better. More objective I guess. I’m actually excited to see our movie, and I’m excited to announce my retirement too. I’m just excited, and I can’t even remember the last time I was excited.”
“Awesome, me too.” He kisses her head, careful not to put his lips on her skin, and ruining her make up somehow. She leans against him, content smile on her face.
“I never thanked you for all this. You know? You helped me so much, and I wanted to thank you.”
“Pfft. You really wanna thank me? Get me through this night.”
“Oh, don’t you even worry. This is a battle of which I am a hardened veteran. Stick close with me, and make sure your fly is zipped. The press will have a field day with that.”
Their limo stops, and Soul watches as the driver hops out to open their door for them. He squeezes Maka’s hand, and a smile crosses his face. “You ready for this?”
“Come on, lets go kill my career and start a rumor that we’re dating.”
Love. It’s a rare, crazy and utterly beautiful ride. Full of ups and downs, hills and valleys, intensities and calmer times. There’s love that makes you dizzy with happiness, heavy-hearted with sadness or insane with madness. But one day, when these extreme feelings begin to fade by the wayside, remember that there will always be a fire that burns within you. Just don’t ever let it completely die out. If you are lucky enough to find your ‘soul mate’ then you will need to remember they aren’t going to be perfect in every way possible. You are going to fight. You will disagree. They will drive you mad. You might even feel like you’ve lost the spark. But, if for the most part, you feel deep deep down in your trustworthy gut that they are ‘the one’, then don’t ever let the passion completely fade away. If you want the romance, remember love is a two way street. Give, give, give and you shall receive. Happy endings aren’t just for the movies. But once the honeymoon passes, love can be hard work. It can also be one of the most rewarding things that this life has given us. Fall in love and you’ll fall down the rabbit hole, into your very own gorgeous world that’s uniquely tailored for the two of you. There’s really nothing quite like it, so don’t allow it to be neglected. And if you haven’t found love yet, believe me, it’s just around the corner. So keep your chin high, your eyes bright and your smile beautiful, because you, my dear, deserve nothing but the very best.