I’m so sick of feeling worthless,
I’m so sick of feeling unwanted,
I’m so sick of feeling alone,
I’m so sick of feeling tolerated instead of wanted,
I’m so sick of feeling miserable,
I’m so sick of feeling unloved,
I’m so sick of feeling ugly,
I’m so sick of feeling stupid,
I’m so sick of feeling…
I’m so sick
I am SO SICK of people telling us we’re wasting our lives on this stuff and that our generation and society is ‘brainwashed’ by TV. We learn from these books and movies so much more than school could ever teach us. I honestly would not be who I am today without these stories. Fiction can hold the greatest wisdom, if the story is good enough to make us feel and understand.
“Eu saia por aí rindo de bobagens e distribuindo sorrisos a quem quer que seja, fazia todos ao redor sorrir das minhas loucuras sem eira nem beira, mas por dentro era diferente, eu não era feliz. Por dentro tinha um vazio e um tornado de sentimentos que nem eu entendia. Constantemente fugia de tudo e todos. Por vezes o que eu queria era me trancar no quarto e chorar, chorar por tudo que estava guardado, por tudo que fingia, por tudo que eu não dizia e principalmente, por tudo que me doía. Isso de ficar fingindo que é feliz pra não assustar as pessoas ao redor é dolorido e uma hora cansa, tudo em excesso cansa. Eu era o excesso e estava cansado, estava exausto de mim.” — desabafos de um qualquer (apodrecendo).
Isso é ridículo fazem meses, mas por algum motivo eu simplesmente não consigo desistir de nós. E eu sou mais forte que isso suficiente, é suficiente, sem mais voltar por ai com minha cabeça baixa, eu estou cansado de ficar triste, chorar por você. E eu estou tão cansado de músicas de amor, tão cansado de lágrimas. Tão acabado, com o desejo de que você estivesse aqui disse que estou tão cansado de músicas de amor, triste e lentas. Então porque eu não consigo desligar o rádio? Tenho que arrumar o calendário que está marcado 15 de julho, porque desde que eu não tenho mais você, não tem mais aniversário.
I’m sooo sorry for not being able to update here for a long time. I’ve been sick in the hospital for the past few days. Having the worst cold/flu/something? I’ve ever had ;_;. The docs say it’s some sort of bacterial infection because of air conditioners. (yuck!)
Now I’m taking antibiotics and some other meds which make me reaaaally sleepy and kinda dizzy.
Anyways, I’ll do my best to release CC without any delays but the meds and the fever is certainly not helping T___T!
I’ll be back soon to reply all messages and questions! I seem to be getting better now but I’ll take a week off just in case.
A sneeze left her body, echoing in the large and half empty apartment that Sabine DuLac now called her own. DuLac. That was still strange to her. Half the time she found herself beginning to write Turner after her name, but that wasn’t right anymore. She was a DuLac again, something she never thought she’d be. “Ugh” the groan left her lips as she flopped down onto her bed, pulling the worn thin grey blanket around her body, cuddling into it as though it would be able to reciprocate some form of warmth, of comfort. But nothing would replace the feeling of a body next to her, arm wrapped around her waist as though she were still something he didn’t want to lose. A tear rolled down her cheek and Sabine wiped it away angrily, mad at herself for thinking of him of all things whilst she was ill. Though, like usual, he was all she could really think about. It was her own fault she was sick, really. The lack of sleep had run her down and made her more susceptible to the flu that was currently circulating the small town.
The soft knock at her door brought her right back to a week ago, when Cade had shown up at her doorstep and kissed her senseless, as he always had an insane power of doing. This time, when she opened the door, he didn’t greet her with kisses or promises to never leave again, he held gifts of soup in his hands and Maggie at his feet. The small husky perked up when she recognized Sabine, jumping for her immediately and causing a small laugh to leave the brunette’s cracked lips. “Hey girl, I missed you too” she gently knelt down, scooping the dog into her arms and kissing the top of her head. “I didn’t think you’d actually come” she addressed Cade, allowing him to enter the apartment before she closed the door. Another cough rattled her lungs and she set Maggie down on the ground, bringing the blanket to her mouth to stifle the cough and stop the germs from spreading too much.