sort-of-suburbia

bec benepla’s mind-blowing goofy movie theory

[3:26:56 AM] bec: i came up with a theory about the goofy movie actually wanna hear it
[3:27:03 AM] me: oh my god ok
[3:27:06 AM] bec: ok so
[3:28:01 AM] bec: a goofy movie takes place in an alternate universe where goofy and max are in the witness protection program bc max’s mom murdered someoneI CANT GO THROUGH WITH EXPLAINING THIS NEVERMIND
[3:28:34 AM] me: NO
[3:28:35 AM] me: TELL ME
[3:28:38 AM] mw: U CANT STOP THERE
[3:29:33 AM] bec: ok ok ok ok so
[3:29:45 AM] bec: lets say that the “canon” universe of disney
[3:30:12 AM] bec: is the one where goofy donald and mickey are all friends who get into mishaps and such. max might exist in those universes but he often doesnt
[3:30:21 AM] bec: but in a goofy movie
[3:31:29 AM] bec: its implied that mickey and donald are semi-famous, since at the beginning of the movie u see max’s phone looks like mickey mouse, and when goofy says he’s going on vacation with his best friend, max sarcastically replies “who, donald duck?”
[3:31:43 AM] bec: so like
[3:32:02 AM] bec: why would he have a phone of mickey if mickey was just a pal of his dad’s?
[3:32:05 AM] bec: so in this universe
[3:33:17 AM] bec: goofy had to go on witness protection with max at a young age, which is why they live in a sort of nondescript suburbia and not near any of the normal disney characters.
[3:33:26 AM] bec: why i think its bc his mom murdered someone is that like
[3:33:48 AM] me: holy shit
[3:34:46 AM] bec: they would have to let the school principal know if goofy and max were in witness protection, right? if it was because they were just at the wrong place at the wrong time, the principal would be fine, even kind to max. but instead when max does the prank thing, the principal IMMEDIATELY likens max to a hardened criminal with little empathy, and goofy IMMEDIATELY believes and fears this.
[3:36:01 AM] bec: like, this ONE EVENT triggers enough paranoia that goofy plans a huge trip. that wouldn’t happen unless he had some predisposed fear that max would be a criminal, and since he’s sort of a simply guy, he might be slightly afraid max had more apathetic and criminal-esque tendencies from his mother. that’s why he tries to overcompensate bonding with max a lot.
[3:36:09 AM] bec: AND ok this is the part that i really thought about
[3:36:44 AM] me: you mean this is all background info ? ? ? ?
[3:36:54 AM] SKYE HIGH: don’t you have to change ur name in witness protection bec
[3:37:09 AM] bec: THEY NEVER CALL GOOFY “GOOFY” THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE
[3:37:18 AM] bec: nor do they say a last name
[3:37:24 AM] SKYE HIGH: he doesn’t have a last name
[3:37:26 AM] me: ARE YOU SERIOUS WHAT DO THEY CALL HIM
[3:37:30 AM] SKYE HIGH: don’t they call him mr. goof???
[3:37:36 AM] bec: pete calls him “goof”, max calls him “dad”
[3:37:45 AM] SKYE HIGH: THAT’S A NAME BEC
[3:37:56 AM] SKYE HIGH: but its changed so tech it fits ur theory
[3:38:05 AM] bec: right right
[3:38:08 AM] bec: ok speaking of pete
[3:38:20 AM] me: oh boy
[3:39:31 AM] bec: now pete is probably the only other person in town who knows goofy is in this witness protection program, because they acted as goofy and max’s sort of…i forget what they’re called, but when a witness protection family moves into a town, theres usually a nondescript person in the town acting as an introducer 2 every1 in the town
[3:40:37 AM] bec: and now, they’re keeping goofy and max in a protection agency as long as someone is out to get them, but pete overestimated how long it would take, so it’s been YEARS by the point of the movie and he’s getting really sick of him….BUUUUT is still obligated to follow goofy around when they’re on a road trip
[3:41:54 AM] bec: this is the 90s so before gps and stuff, and other than pete, there’s this running gag of a bunch of nuns who are on the same route to the power line concert as goofy + max. like u see them at every stop and restaurant and on the road when they’re driving and at the concert itself. so I THINK that pete is their sort of helper in the town, and the nuns are actually undercover fib agents making sure no one undesirable is scouting max and goofy’s positions
[3:42:36 AM] me: holy shit dude
[3:42:42 AM] bec: AND the reason why max made the joke about donald duck and has the mickey phone is bc his dad would sometimes slip and talk about his life before they went into hiding, but because goofy’s kind of silly, max always regarded it as being silly
[3:42:44 AM] bec: AND AND AND
[3:42:46 AM] bec: THERES A PART
[3:42:51 AM] bec: WHERE DONALD AND MICKEY ARE IN A SONG
[3:42:53 AM] bec: JUST TOGETHER
[3:42:56 AM] bec: HAVKING HIJINKS
[3:42:58 AM] bec: WITHOUT GOOFY
[3:43:01 AM] bec: DROPS THE MIC
[3:43:27 AM] bec: “ON THE ROAD AGAIN” YOU CAN SEE THE NUNS IN THAT SONG TOO
[3:43:56 AM] bec: *on the open road
[3:44:27 AM] bec: also it makes sense bc like
[3:44:49 AM] bec: goofy is always talking about how he sort of wants the normalcy him and his dad had, but from max’s pov, his life is pretty standard
[3:44:56 AM] bec: he just lives intros town sorta
[3:45:13 AM] bec: oh and also as a sidenote max’s problem with roxie was fucking ridiculous
[3:45:17 AM] bec: roxanne whatever
[3:46:07 AM] bec: they both clearly liked each other. he didn’t even have to win her. She Was Going To Go On A Date With Him. and then something happened out of his control and when she initially reacted disappointedly he just instantly jumped to “UM ITS BC ILL BE ON TV. WITH POWERLINE. FUCK. BYE FOREVER I GUESS. TELL EVERYONE.”
[3:46:23 AM] bec: truly the burden of heterosexuality
[3:47:24 AM] me: does this have to do with the murder mom theory
[3:47:35 AM] bec: ummmm
[3:47:55 AM] bec: well yes if you want to say that max did indeed instantly fall to manipulation and pathological for no goddamn reason
[3:48:02 AM] bec: but mostly no i just hate that part of the movie