“I won’t be back very late,” John says while he puts on his jacket. His date-jacket. “This is the second time we meet, I hardly believe she’s going to invite me home!” He laughs. Sherlock doesn’t laugh. He stares at John, who now also puts on his date-shoes. Rosie stares at her father too, with a finger in her mouth. “At least she isn’t too shocked that I’m a single father. Not like that other woman.” A single father. Why does it hurt when he says that, Sherlock wonders with a hint of confusion. “Well, I’m off now. Phone me if something’s wrong okay?” “Okay,” Sherlock answers mechanically. John goes to him and gives Rosie in his arms a short kiss on the forehead. Sherlock gets another smile and a “See you later! Thanks for your help.” Then John is gone.
Suddenly, it’s much too silent in the flat.
Sherlock looks at Rosie. She looks at him too, and he smiles altough he doesn’t feel happy. Rosie always make him smile. It’s like a rule. Smile when Rosie looks at you. “Here we are,” Sherlock whispers and rocks her on his lap. “The woman your father is dating is awfully boring. But I bet she would be a good mother.” A good mother. Because that is, what Rosie needs, right? A mother. Suddenly, Sherlock feels very distressed. His chest seems to be too tight to breath properly. Rosie seems to notice something, because she frowns and looks like she’s about to cry. “No,” Sherlock says quickly. “It’s all fine, don’t cry. What do you think about some violin music now? I know you like it, hmm.” Rosie giggles, as if she would have understood him. Sherlock smiles. “I love you,” he tells Rosie seriously. “I also love your daddy. It’s different … But that’s a secret, you understand? It has always been a secret. Some things in life must stay secrets.” And he lays a finger on his lips. “Psst,” he makes. Rosie giggles again.
“They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should just be friends’, turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
~ Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol 9: The Kindly Ones
“Can you…?” Sherlock blushes. “Can you call me what you called me earlier?”
John’s brow knits as he tries to remember. “What did I call you?”
“You’re going to make me say it?”
“Well, how else would I know what you mean if you don’t say it?”
Sherlock yields. “Earlier…when you came to kiss me good morning,” He hesitates. “I was working on an experiment and you called me a-”
Sherlock reddens further. “Y-Yes.” He clears his throat. “But could you just call me…?”
John raises his brows slightly. “Bee?”
When Sherlock nods, he ducks his head shyly. “Yes…”
John’s face loses any and all tension, his entire face softens in a way that it only ever does for Sherlock. “Of course,” He smiles. “You’re my bee.” John laughs fondly when Sherlock makes the smallest, shyest sound and covers his face. “My honey bee.”
“Okay, thank you – that’s enough!” Sherlock couldn’t be redder if he tried.
“What the matter, bumble bee?”
Sherlock is about to tell John that the nicknames needed to stop – because there must be a limit to this. It’s embarrassing to be this flustered by simple pet names.
But before he got a chance, he felt John’s face press into his neck. And then, Sherlock felt tiny, tickling vibrations on his skin.
John was buzzing, making soft buzzing noises into Sherlock’s neck. “Bzzz!”
Sherlock yelps and then involuntarily giggles.
Mrs. Hudson is hardly surprised when she comes upstairs and finds the two of them writhing about on the sofa, with John buzzing over Sherlock’s skin and Sherlock giggling into John’s.
it’s really shitty that a character can be anywhere from ambiguously to outright queer and the straights still require a 3000 word essay on why we believe/headcanon a character as bi/queer/trans/gay and even when we provide the “evidence” we’ll still get shut down and accused of being delusional, straight, fetishising fangirls. the absolute hypocrisy of the reverse though just grinds my fucking gears- we have a character that explicitly states their sexuality and suddenly the het shippers want to play “read the subtext” on why a character isn’t gay despite stating on screen that they are gay. like bbc’s irene adler is canonically gay and still people want to fight us about it. even the fucking writers who seem to want to straight wash their own canon.
‘heterosexual’ is not the default. why must every character be straight until proven gay? (why not gay until proven straight?) why can a man and a woman share a heated glance and its assumed there is sexual tension but when two people of the same gender do this we’re “reaching” if we interpret it as anything but platonic. why can molly, a woman portrayed as unambiguosly in unrequited love with sherlock, share word for word dialogue with john but we only are supposed to interpret the formers dialogue as being potentially romantic? why are the queer people that see queer readings within bbc sherlock considered to be the embarassing part of fandom thats to be sneered at and treated with hostility?
its almost like it has nothing to do with “ship wars” and everything to do with homophobia and heteronormativity.
i’m imagining victorian holmes and watson learning about 2015 sherlock and john and they’re like “you! live in a time!! when you can fuck freely! and get married!!!! and yet! you haven’t! yet! how dare!!”
and holmes is like “you! sherlock! dumbass! tell him you feel things like that! oh god! you told him you were married to your work! stupid! stupid! stop! abort!!!”
and watson is like “goddammit you still married mary!!! the fuck! get your head out of your own ass and into his! for gods sake man!”
After a particularly adrenaline fueled chase, Sherlock texts Lestrade detailed instructions where to find the murderous clown assassin. John is so aroused that he can’t hardly wait to get his and Sherlock’s clothes off….