sorry. i could not find a text to fit so this went in a different direction

The Masks We Wear (Connor Murphy x Reader)

Okay hello! This is my first imagine! Yay! I’ve worked really hard on it so don’t be afraid to give feedback!
Requested: Nope
Words: 2,557
Warnings: None other than some swearing

Being the new kid isn’t easy, especially when you are judged so fiercely for being yourself. You know the right words to say, the correct outfits to wear, when to smile, when to laugh, and when to disappear. You’ve never been the popular person, but you get along just fine with the façade that you’ve mastered so well it almost feels like you. Almost.
Your first day of school arrives just like the five before, even though the fall semester was already half way done. With your dad in the army you couldn’t blame him for all of the moving, after all your grandfather, great grandfather, and so on, all chose the same life. This move was slightly different though, your dad finally got the promotion that would keep you in one place for the rest of high school. You knew that at this school the mask you wore would need to be convincing enough to help you survive longer than usual.

This new school was bigger than the last, and your sense of direction wasn’t top notch. After the office gave you your timetable you scurried through the hall desperately looking for classroom 27B, and wondered if the office lady thought it would be funny to give you a fake room number. You looked at the doors as you darted around the now empty hallway as everyone had already entered a class. You were startled back to reality as you heard a locker slam behind you. You turned to see a boy walking away from you with leisure towards what you thought might be an exit, but you couldn’t be sure.
“Umm… Excuse me!” you surprised yourself with saying, but the boy only glanced over his shoulder and kept walking.
You dashed towards him this time, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I don’t know where 27B is and I’ve been looking for 15 minutes, and I don’t want to be late on my first day.” This time the boy turned around and looked at you with a mix of boredom and the smallest bit of amusement.
“You’re looking for 27B?” you nodded your head as you glanced at the piece of paper to the rooms around you, back to the boy.
“You’re on the wrong floor,” he said with a little more amusement showing.
“Oh…” the embarrassment evident on your face, “Well I guess that explains why I can’t find it. Anyways, thanks, and I’m y/n”
“Connor”
“Well, thanks, Connor and I’ll see you around? I don’t really know anybody and you’re the only conversation I’ve had with someone at the school who doesn’t work here”
“See you around,” he shrugged “I guess, but I wouldn’t plan on it.”

With that short-lived conversation, you were off to your first class. All the classes seemed to drag on, with teachers mindlessly going on about formulas that you wouldn’t remember in a week. As it does at every school the lunch bell rang, and it was time for what you pictured hell as :a lunchroom. Kids scuttle around trying to find a table that would get the most attention from the people they want to impress, and others take it as time catch up on homework in clusters of others as a form of protection. You on the other hand used this time to find a group that would keep you safe, I mean high school kids are mean. You settled on a group of girls that seemed nice enough and spent your lunch smiling at the right time, laughing when needed, and making the right comments so that the girls at the table said they could tell you would fit right in with them.

The next week was fine enough. You made some friends that you could eat lunch with, gossip about the teacher’s new haircut with and text for help on Algebra homework.  You even decided on trying out for the cheerleading team, which you made. It seemed as if the mask you perfected was working like a dream.
On the Monday of your second week, the girls you ate lunch with were all busy. A few had lunch detention, while others had the weekly student council meeting. With nowhere to go for lunch, you wandered on the lawn by the football field, where you spotted the familiar face of Connor, the boy who you met on your first day. Picking up your pace you walked over to him and sat down across from him and pulled out your lunch.
“What the hell are you doing?” he asked with annoyance rising in him.
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m about to eat lunch with you,” you replied taking a bite out of your sandwich.
“I know what the fuck you’re doing. Why are you eating here?” he said this time getting angrier. “It might seem like a funny joke to eat with the freak, but this freak prefers to eat alone, so leave.”
The anger in his voice made you jump, but you didn’t get up.
“Why would eating with you be a joke? And I’m not leaving, I don’t have anyone to eat with and this freak likes eating with people,”
“Yeah well have fun by yourself,” he said as he picked his bag up and stomped away. You watched him walk away, the surprise evident on your face. Why had he thought you were trying to be mean? Why was he so defensive? All of these questions rattled in your mind as you walked back to the school building.

After cheer practice, you went with some of the girls to get frozen yogurt just around the block.
“Do you know anything about some kid at school named Connor?” you asked as everyone took a seat.
“Which Connor?” one girl answered.
“Well he’s tall, has long hair, really pretty eyes actually-,”
“You mean psychopath Connor? He’s a total freak. He has some major issues, but his sisters nice. I’d stay away from him if I were you, if people see you near him they might get the wrong idea,” and with that the subject changed to who was the best kisser on the football team.

The next day during lunch you told your friends that you had to do work with a teacher at lunch. Instead, you went back to the lawn from yesterday and sat next to Connor once again.
“Again? Really? I thought I made myself clear,” Connor said as flipped the page in the book he was reading.
“I’m not the best with listening to directions,” you said smiling at him this time.
“Your friends still busy or some shit?”
“No, I just wanted to eat with you,” Connor finally looked up from his book in surprise, but quickly went back to his annoyed face. You two spent the rest of lunch in silence together, him reading, and you eating your sandwich.

The two of you eating lunch together continued. With your persistent talking Connor eventually replied with more than one-word answers, and soon your daily lunch together became something you looked forward to.
“So what about ‘Fahrenheit 451’?”
“Well I did read that one, but only after I watched the movie and had turned in my essay”
“Well fuck, and you still got an A?” you nodded laughing looking at the amazement that had settled on his face.
“I am impressed, that takes real skill to bullshit your way through English class so well,” he said slowly clapping. You dramatically bowed as you walked over to the lawn together. Connor had started waiting for you by the bleachers so you could walk to lunch together, but he denied that he was waiting for you.
“It was a needed skill. Sometimes my family would move and the new teachers would automatically want an essay the next day from a book I’ve never read.”
“Well that sucks,”
“I guess it does, but I’ve gotten used to it. I’ve gotten used to it all,”
“You shouldn’t have to get used to it. Why aren’t you mad at your parents? I would be so fucking furious, and you just smile about it all,” you laughed as he said this while sitting down under a tree.
“I don’t get to be mad. This is what my family does. Besides I would sound so horrible if I got angry at my dad, the man who served three tours in Iraq, the man who risks his life for America,” you said as you pulled large clumps of grass from the ground,
“But sometimes I just want a dad, an actual dad, not some war hero, but someone who tells me to change shorts because they are too short, a dad who says cheesy jokes, not some man who lives in the same house as me, but is a billion miles away because he has no idea who I am.” You started throwing the clumps of grass you had uprooted. You glanced over at Connor who looked conflicted.
“What?” you asked abruptly aware of how loud you had gotten. In an instant Connor suddenly hugged you. His arms were long and lanky around you, but somehow you felt safe. His body smelled like coconut, probably from shampoo, and his heart beat somehow sounded beautiful. He let go of you, a second later, and the hug had felt like a million years and less than a millisecond at the same time. You looked up at him and he was looking anywhere, but your eyes.
“Thanks,” you whispered, “I really needed that.” Connor mumbled out a response along the lines of ‘no –problem’.

After that day you were painfully aware of Connor. You were aware of every step he took and how he kept his hands in his pockets, and scratched at his jeans when he got angry over something small, and how when you made a bad pun he would roll his eyes, but smile slightly. It seemed like all at once everything about Connor was magical and you would count down the minutes until lunch with him, and it seemed Connor was thinking the same thing.
“So I was uhmm-well I was think-no that’s no right,” Connor mumbled about a month and a half after your first lunch together, “I was thinking that we could hang out outside of school.” Connor looked down at you trying to hide the nerves that he felt asking. The nerves were evident on his face though as he watched you reply.
“I’d love to,” you said simply, but the smile on your face said it all. You were ecstatic; finally, you would spend more than the designated time at lunch together.

You and Connor had settled it and decided that you would hang out that Saturday and work on English homework together at your house since Connor said that his parents would be all weird about it. Finally, Saturday arrived, and the nerves you had denied were obvious as you paced your room trying to figure out which shirt to wear knowing they were basically the same shirt. Little did you know that Connor was also pacing his room trying to decide if he should wear a black shirt or grey shirt. Of course, Zoe found this hilarious and Connor, being too nervous to yell, allowed Zoe to help him chose a shirt. They settled on grey, Zoe saying that it showed that he wore more than black.
Connor showed up on time and you couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he was an actual friend, even though you wanted more, but he was somebody who you didn’t feel the need to wear your mask around, with him you could just exist.
“Uhmm, we can go hang out in my room if you want,” you asked motioning towards a hallway.
“Sure, but your parents will be okay with me in your room?” he asked as you opened the door to your room.
“Oh, they don’t really care what I do, and if they did they aren’t ever home to enforce the  rules they have.” With that you sat on your bedroom floor and pulled out your English books, but they were quickly forgotten when you started talking. Within minutes of talking the subject turned to Connor’s family.
“I don’t know. It’s just like I’m the fucking black sheep. I just want them to look at me and not be ashamed of their son,” Connor huffed as you lay side by side on your floor looking at the blank ceiling.
“I’m sure they aren’t ashamed”
“You don’t even know them, you can’t be sure”
“But I know you,” you said pushing yourself into a sitting position.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means you are the last person anyone could be ashamed of. You have this wonderful mind that anyone would be lucky to know about, you are the fastest reader I know, you pretend to hate others, but you are so incredibly caring, and you are my favorite person and the only one who knows me.”
Suddenly Connor pushes himself up.
“Bullshit. You have friends and I’m just a pity friend and we both know it,” Connor said. You knew you hit a chord in him. Whenever you said nice things about him he automatically thought it was a lie, no matter how many times you promised it was the truth. It pained you to think that somebody you cared for as much as Connor didn’t know that you did.
“Now that’s bullshit Connor. We both know that it’s fake with everyone, except for you! I put this mask on so I blend in, stay alive, and make it until the next school,” you took a breath and moved closer to Connor as you started speaking again.
“You’re the exception, with you it’s all real. I don’t have to pretend life is okay, or pretend I care about school drama. With you I’m just me, and with me I think you are just you.” Connor stayed silent for a minute after that.
“If we’re being honest and shit right now,” Connor spoke softly, “People don’t like the real me, but for some reason you do, the angry parts and everything, so I guess  don’t need a mask with you.” You looked at Connor and saw how scared he was, of being alone again, of being rejected. You knew that this was truly him without the façade that he had perfected over time.
“Connor,” you spoke softly. He took his gaze off the floor and looked at you. You slowly put your hands on the side of his face and brought your lips to his. He still smelled of coconut, but you were more concentrated on the feeling of his lips on yours. The surprise of you kissing him quickly wore off and he kissed you back as if it were life or death. His chapped lips melted into your and his hands found your waist as he pulled you closer. Too quickly the kiss ended as you both needed air.
“I hope it was okay I kissed you,” you softly laughed.
“It’s more than okay. I hope it’s okay that I don’t want to stop kissing you,” he replied as he went back to your lips for another kiss.

Sweet Creature - Pink Series pt. 1

Hello lovelies! Here is part one of that angsty, slow burn, friends to lovers series I’m starting! The series will be called Pink and there will be 10 parts in total, each one inspired by/including one of the songs on Harry’s album.

Word Count: 5k

Enjoy! .xx -M


“So, you’re ready to get back into the game again, huh?” you ask around a mouthful of scone, crumbs tumbling from your lips as you speak.

“Yeah, I think I am. It’s been a long break, and I think I’m ready to really start writing again,” Harry smiles, the future career he’s planning seeming like more and more of a reality.

“Well, I for one, am excited. Always wanted to know what you’d do on your own.”

“You’ve heard some of my own songs,” he questions, sipping his tea.

“Well yeah, but like, none of those were written for your own personal album, H, they were more for fun. I wanna see you in your element,” you say.

Keep reading

The Language of Flowers (Sansa x Female!reader)

Prompt: Hey could you write something where margaery has a sister who is in love with Sansa?  

Note: Hope you enjoy it! I’m so sorry it took so long, i’m still not 100% happy with it, sorry if it turns out to make no sense.

Sansa/reader

The first time that you saw Sansa was in the throne room. You’d never seen someone to beautiful look so alone. Your older sister Margaery had also spotted her, watching her with an almost predatory gaze; she was after all the key to the North. You felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness for the girl you didn’t know.

You next saw Sansa as she walked alone through the gardens, her gown was red and gold. She looked stunning, and it hugged her body in all of the right places, but she also looked out of place. Her heart wasn’t hard enough for the Lannister colours.

In Highgarden, your grandmother hadn’t just taught you how to nurture and care for the plants of the gardens, but the secret language they spoke.

The butterflies in your stomach felt more like bats as you approached the Northern girl with the roses, two white (innocence and secrecy), one blue (The North, Strength; unyielding beauty) all three of the roses were thorn less (Love at first sight.) You hoped the colours would make her feel more at home.

You were usually a very self-assured person, a quality instilled into you by growing up a Tyrell, however your usual confidence was nowhere to be found as you approached the Stark girl.

Sansa walked along the winding path of the garden, lost in her own world when you cleared your throat softly. Her head immediately snapped around, her eyes were wild and wolfish for a moment as they met yours. Her countenance softened when she saw it was you.

“Lady Y/n… Sorry, I was distracted.” The auburn-haired girl looked as she had slipped once more back into thought, before sending you a smile. It was the smile that encourage you to speak up.

“I should be the one apologising” You said, the roses hidden as you held you hand behind your back began to feel heavy in your palm “I didn’t mean to startle you, I just… The flowers made me think of you; of the Starks” Sansa’s eyes lit up as the roses came into view.

You tried to hide your surprise when the other girl pulled you into a hug, but you quickly accommodated.

“You don’t know how much this means Y/n, truly.” She whispered as she held you tight.

From then on, you were sure. You would do anything to make her happy.


You spent a lot of time with Sansa after your first proper meeting in the gardens. You quickly grew close, spending your days in the gardens and your evenings curled up reading together in the library. You didn’t always read, sometimes you were content just to be close to the Stark.

It was during one of your library sessions that you realised that you were irrevocably and unequivocally in love with Sansa. Loras was bound to notice.

You were walking together in the garden when he figured it out.

“You realise Grandmother plans to marry her to Willas?” your brother asked, taking your arm in his “She could be in highgarden by the end of the month.”

You swallowed hard, you had suspected Margaery’s plan ever since you watched her first lay her eyes on Sansa.

That didn’t stop it from hurting.

“Loras, I have to go with her. Grandmother can’t do this… Loras please.” Your voice took a pleading note.

Loras replied with a sad smile “Y/n, you know we need to find you a husband. She’s right about Dorne. We could marry you into their royal family.”

You let out a bitter laugh “I like the wine Loras. I prefer my partners from colder climates…” your mind drifted to Sansa before the words had even left your mouth. Loras wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into a tight bear hug.

“Why is everything so much easier for the straight Tyrells?” You said pulling away. Loras laughed and shook his head. It felt good to hear him happy.

The sound of Loras’ laughter was interrupted when you hear footsteps coming down the pathway. It was Sansa of course, and you felt the blood rise to your cheeks as you looked at her.

Loras excused himself, and sent a wink in your direction. You scowled back as him, and hoped that Sansa hadn’t noticed the interaction.


You spent the rest of that day in the gardens with Sansa, eating the lemon cakes you had smuggled from the kitchen, with the help of the pretty parlour maid. She was reading about the Targaryen dynasty with her head in your lap when you began to weave flowers into her hair.

At first you weaved a simple chain of daisy’s, (Innocence; loyal love; I’ll never tell; purity) placing it like a crown over her head, but couldn’t resist the Gypsophila flowers (everlasting love). You tucked a daffodil behind her ear (You’re the only one; Unrequited love).

Sansa lay back with her in your lap “What’s high garden like?” she asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

You smiled “Beautiful Sans, you’d love it. The air is so much fresher, and Gods the gardens are stunning.” You felt a pang in your chest “I wish I could take you.”

Sansa smiled up at you “But you will surely? For the wedding.”

You took a deep breath, your expression wavering. “I hope so Sans if grandmother will allow it.” You quickly forced a smile and thought back to your home. “I can’t wait to show you the lake…”

She seemed contented and leaned back into your lap, as you began to described high garden to her. I could get used to this, you thought to yourself as the smile spread across her face.


The next time you saw Sansa it was in the library, you knew there was no hope of attracting her attention as she read, hungrily taking in the text. You loved watching her read, she was so gorgeous and yet so unaware of it.

Just watching her filled your chest with an unfamiliar warmth, that was, until you saw what she was reading. The language of flowers. Sansa was one of the most intelligent person you knew. It was inevitable that she would find out what you would had been telling her through the Flowers.

Your heart froze when Sansa looked up and grinned at you, without thinking you quickly ran out of the room.

When you left the library, you went to the first place you could think – the gardens. You knew that Sansa would probably be quick to follow you, however being in the gardens would give you the clear head you needed to talk to her. You could always tell her that it was a purely platonic gesture, or that you hadn’t known the meanings, or that-

“Y/n” Sansa whispered, cutting off your thoughts. “There’s something I ought to tell you…”

You looked up at the Stark girl questioningly your (e/c) eyes widening. Sansa paused in thought for a moment, before handing you a small yellow flower. It looked like a daffodil, however the slight differences gave it a whole new meaning.

Jonquil (Love Me; Affection Returned; Desire)

When the meaning of the flower sunk in, you wasted no time in pulling the northerner into a kiss. When Sansa wrapped her arms around your waist, you knew you had made the right decision with the Roses.


That night you lay in your bed, with Sansa pressed up against you, as your arms cocooned around her. You held the Jonquil flower, and studied it for a moment.

“It’s fitting, isn’t it? I’ve always loved the story of Jonquil, and in the end, it was her flower that helped win me my very own Jonquil.” Sansa said, her voice warm.

You giggled and kissed her head “I’m afraid you’ve got it wrong Lady Sansa” you teased “You have to be the Jonquil.”

Sansa turned to look up at you, raising and eyebrow “Pray tell, Lady Y/n”

You grinned down at her “Because I’m a fool for you Sansa Stark.”

Sansa didn’t reply to that, instead leaning up and kissing you. You smiled into the kiss. Whatever the future held, and whatever obstacles the gods threw your way, you had the woman you loved by your side.

Quiet as a Mouse - Part 1

Summary: Jensen meets the reader and she ends up being someone he doesn’t expect.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 1,586


“Is this really necessary?” Jensen whines to his sister as he unwillingly climbs into the passenger side of her Accord. He immediately sulks down into the seat and throws his Ray-Bans on.

“Yes!” Mackenzie answers sick of his shitty attitude. 

“You’re one of my favorite people but for the love of all things holy…shut up!”

Jensen mutters under his breath and starts fucking around with the radio station, he’s not liking anything he finds and it’s frustrating. He is just not a happy camper right now in general. The last thing he wants to do is go shopping with his little sister.

“I didn’t come home to go shopping for girly shit, ya know.”

“It’s mom’s birthday, dude! Stop being selfish.” She declares with a shake of her head. Jensen knows she’s right but lately he’s had a dark cloud over his head and it seems like it’s not going away anytime soon.

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Don’t Say a Word (Part Two)

Originally posted by bangtan-so-far

Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Pairing: Yoongi/Yoonji (Suga) x Reader
Featuring: Jungkook and Namjoon (Rapmon)
Genre: Fluff, Smut
Contains: crossdressing, alcohol mention, a little sexual content
Word Count: 3.7k

Author’s Note: I’m so glad to be home right now to post this. Work was so shitty and I actually cried because a customer started yelling at me (and instead of talking back I held it in and cried out of anger after they left). Please enjoy this because I couldn’t enjoy my day.


A little over a week has gone by since Yoongi had returned into your life. Every night since his first visit, he would text or call you to tell you about his day as Yoonji. He made college sound fun, but he was only experiencing the fun parts of it: the partying. Since he went into the police academy right after high school, he never had the chance to experience the true college kid life dealing with the stress that stemmed from deadlines and exams. He wasn’t required to attend classes, but he was given a schedule just in case any of the staff or students got suspicious of him hanging around campus all day long. He had to carry around his student ID with him, but had to leave his real ID behind at home, so he wouldn’t risk losing it or having someone find it.

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Story of us

Summary: Y/N always thought that her and Calums story would be like a fairytale, but perhaps it’s just a story without a happy ending. Based on Taylor Swifts song.

A/N: I’m really sorry that I haven’t been active in ages, but there’s a lot going on in my life right now, and I don’t have that much time to write… I’ll admit that this is not the best I’ve written, but then again it’s not the worst either, so I hope you’lll all give it a chance! x


Used to think one day we’d tell the story of us

How we met

And the sparks flew instantly

And people would say “they’re the lucky ones”

 

Your mother would always tell you stories about princesses and princes who met and fell in love at the first glimpse they caught of each other and at first, you believed her. But when you got older and experienced falling in love for the first time, you realized that the stories weren’t as realistic as you had thought when you were a little girl; love at first sight didn’t happen outside fairytales and definitely not for an ordinary girl like you. However, when you met Calum Hood, you began to question that belief. As soon as your eyes met his brown ones, fireworks filled your body, time stopped and it felt like you were being hit by a lightning.

Suddenly, you found yourself in a reality that had a lot in common with the fairytales of your childhood and the romantic movies you liked to watch as a teen. And in a matter of few seconds, you felt yourself ripping your heart out of its place in your chest and placing it in his long, elegant hands. Somehow, your heart quickly adjusted to the feeling of the rough skin that he gained from playing on stringed instruments, and his palms became its home. And if it wasn’t enough that your heart belonged to him, his voice was nearly hypnotizing to you and you swore you saw a future in his glance with loving kisses, palms intertwined and picnics at the beach.

You always thought that one day, when you and Calum had settled down, gotten married and had kids, you would them the story about how you met, how the sparks flew instantly and how it was clear to anyone who saw you, that the two of you belonged together. And you had been so sure that there in a couple of years would be small children with Calum’s chocolate brown eyes and your (y/h/c) hair, but suddenly the two of you weren’t even on speaking terms and the future you had thought were right in front of you, vanished like smoke in front of your eyes.

 

I used to know my place was a spot next to you

Now I’m searching the room for an empty seat

Cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on

When you were with Calum, you knew who you were and where you belonged. Your place was next to him, whether it was in a red velour seat at an award show, walking beside him in the street with your hand in his or on the couch late at night, watching a cheesy movie while tucking at his small curls. But now here you were, completely by yourself and looking for an empty seat where your eyes would have no chance of catching a glance of him. However, you couldn’t prevent your eyes from taking in his appearance just for a couple of seconds before you sat down. He looked great, he really did. His hair had gotten a bit shorter since the last time you saw him and the dark circles under his eyes were not as prominent as they used to be, but he still looked like the Calum you loved, and the need for him made you feel like you were out of air. Without him at your side, you felt empty, like there was a big piece missing in your puzzle.

He hadn’t seen you yet; he was busy chatting with Lauren, Ashton’s sister, and you weren’t sure you wanted him to. Because if he did, one of you would have to choose whether to greet the other or not. And since you hadn’t heard a thing from him since the breakup or had had the energy to ask his friends how he was doing, you had no idea which one he would choose. But perhaps you would find out today, and you couldn’t help but wonder if the reason for you being invited to his best mate’s wedding was because Calum missed you just as much as you missed him.

Oh, a simple complication

Miscommunications lead to fallout

So many things that I wish you knew

So many walls up that I can’t break through

 

You had tried so many times to go over the break-up, but no matter how many times you tried, you couldn’t figure out what had coursed it. It had happened slowly; so slow, you didn’t even realize it before it was too late. He went on tour, and somehow, without any of you noticing it, good morning-texts and late night-calls became less frequently, and when he finally returned home to you, you had lost to ability to communicate with each other. There hadn’t been an actual talk between the two of you about letting go of your relationship, but one day when you came home, his things were gone, and about a week after, you changed your relationship status on Facebook and deleted the Instagram posts that he was in. However, here you were; 2 months after the day where you and Calum’s paths went in different directions and still as heartbroken as if it had happened yesterday.

While you stood there looking at the man, whom you had thought were the love of your life, you felt the words you never got to say to him fill up your body. You wished you contained the courage to walk up to him, to sit down beside him and tell him how you felt. Tell him, that you were sorry, tell him, that you laid in bed every night, longing for his sweet humming against your hair and his arm around your shoulder. You would tell him, that you loved him and that you needed him to take you back, because without him, your life felt like it was without purpose. But you weren’t brave enough, and the words that would forever be engraved in your longing heart was just another wall you couldn’t break through.

 

Now I’m standing alone in a crowded room

And we’re not speaking

And I’m dying to know

Is it killing you

Like it’s killing me?

 

When you stood there, completely alone while being surrounded by people you just two months prior had called your friends, you realized that the feeling of being alone didn’t come from not talking to anyone, but instead because Calum’s hand was missing from your back and the sound of his laughter gone from your ears. And even though there were only about five meters between your bodies, it felt like you were in different galaxies.

Now that you saw him again, reality finally hit you; you weren’t the cause of his smile anymore, the reason for the sparkle in his eyes or the person he seemed to mention in all conversations, simply because he couldn’t talk about himself without talking about you. Just like Calum were a part of you, you had been a part of him. Your pieces had fitted perfectly together, and even though neither of you had been one to believe in the one and only or soulmates, none of you could deny the feeling that the two of you belonged together in ways, that could be hard to understand for others and sometimes even for the two of you. And that’s why it felt so bizarre that you now stood alone and wondered if you were the only one feeling like you were drowning.

I don’t know what to say since a twist of fate, when it all broke down

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

 

Just like you couldn’t help but believe that it was written in the stars that you and Calum would find love, it felt like your break up had been out of your hands too; like it was some strange twist of fate that tore your heart into pieces, and neither you nor Calum were given any other choice than to walk away from each other. And perhaps it was destiny that the two of you would find each other and think that this was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and then ending up breaking the other’s heart instead. Perhaps you went through all this pain because there was an important life lessen you had to learn. Either way, it hurt like hell, and you couldn’t help but think about the fact that your perfect fairytale suddenly looked more like a tragedy. Why hadn’t the fairytales, you had grown to believe in, warned you that sometimes, a happy ending was out of reach?

How’d we end up this way?

See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy

And you’re doing your best to avoid me

 

It was time for the groom’s speech, in this case Ashton’s, and you cursed yourself for letting the curly haired boy’s beautiful words become background noise in favor of thinking about you and your ex’s situation.

Ashton always had a way with words, and that was clear to the reactions his speech received. If it wasn’t for the fact that this was his and his beautiful wife’s big day, you would have begged him to explain your contradictory feelings; how you could love and miss someone as much as you loved and missed Calum, while knowing that the relationship you had shared with the Maori boy had so little chance of getting back on track. It was somehow always easier for you to wrap your head around things when Ashton had explained them for you, and you wished he could do it now; maybe then you could begin to move on.

“Well, my dear Mrs. Irwin, I think it’s time to get this party going. May I have this dance?” Ashton’s words to his wife pulled you back to reality, as the happy couple made their way to the empty floor. People gathered in a circle around Ashton and his wife, but you just kept standing in the corner of the room. The circle of people was slowly dissolved, as more and more joined in on the couple, and at last, you were one of the only people whose body didn’t move to the beat.

I’m starting to think one day I’ll the story of us

Of how I was losing my mind when I saw you here

But you held your pride like you should have held me

As you stood there, leaning up against a cold marble pillar, you started to wonder how the story about you and Calum would be told in the future. If it would be the tragic story of two stubborn individuals who couldn’t find the right words to tell each other and then deciding not to say anything at all, because they were too proud in the end. Perhaps your story would be a tragedy as great as Romeo & Julie, or perhaps it would be as unknown as any other sad love story that lives forever in the hearts of the involved, but never is said out loud.

The guests were still dancing, and after a few minutes even Calum joined in. A gorgeous brunette with the body of a model were the lucky girl who got to dance with your ex, and when she whispered something in his ear, he shot her the biggest smile you had seen of his face in a long time. There hadn’t been a lot of smiles in the last period of your relationship, to be honest, and you had missed seeing it more than you had realized. Calum always smiled with all his white teeth visible, and he looked incredibly cute when doing so. Clearly the girl thought the same, ‘cause right after, she shifted even closer to his lean body and placed her fingers on his chest. He didn’t remove them, and he didn’t even look uncomfortable. Had he gotten over you this fast? Didn’t it take him more than two months to forget you, the girl he always swore he’d marry?

Oh I’m scared to see the ending why are we pretending this is nothing

I’d tell you I miss you but I don’t know how

I’ve never heard silence quite this loud

When Calum finally caught your glance, his body stiffened and a sorrowful expression appeared on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something, but you weren’t sure, and even if you were, it could just be to the girl in his arms. However, his brown orbs didn’t dart away from yours a second and as cliché as it may sound, all the loud voices and the slow music disappeared and it felt like you and Calum were the only ones in the room.

All the broken promises and shattered pieces of both of your hearts made you wonder how Calum would describe it, perhaps in a song, and you were pretty sure the words would be something like “never heard a silence quite this loud”, because at least that was how you felt.

Calum was the first to break the trance and look away, and the sting in your heart felt like it would tear your whole body apart. He was so close and had never been further away, and it only took him a few seconds to get himself together after your moment. How could he act as if all of this was nothing?

  

This is looking like a contest

Of who can act like they care less

But I liked it better when you were on my side

But two could play this game, you decided and searched the room for a good looking person. The first who caught your attention was a male, probably in his mid-twenties with curly blond hair and, from what you could see, a nice smile and kind eyes. When he realized you were looking at him, his cheeks heated up. He was good enough for the purpose, you decided.

You made your way through the room and took a sip of your champagne while doing so. Perhaps it would get you the courage to let another man touch you like Calum was supposed to. You greeted the guy with a smile and asked him if he wanted to dance. You were pretty sure he just had parted with another girl and took a break from dancing, but judging by the way he shyly looked at you, he seemed willingly to go on the floor again.

You really tried to keep up a conversation with him, but you weren’t really into answering questions such as: “How do you know the bride and groom?”, “Is this what you’d like your wedding to be like?” and “What do you do for a living?” Besides, you were already busy watching Calum through the corner of your eye, and happily, he seemed disturbed and kept sending your dance partner death glances.

The battle’s in your hands now

But I would lay my armor down

If you say you’d rather love than fight

 

It was his decision, you realized. You weren’t going to take the first step, and if he wasn’t either, then the two of you would be over. But if he walked away from the pretty brunette and decided to go after you instead, you would lay your armor down the second he asked you to. If he told you that he was tired of pretending and just wanted to be with you again, you would go with him wherever he wanted. But he just kept dancing. And you felt yourself give up. He was the one that had left you, after all, so it was him who had to reach out, but he didn’t. You wanted to yell at him; scream that he never would find anybody like you, and that would regret this later on. But you just kept on dancing, too.

So many things that you wish I knew

But the story of us might be ending soon

 

It’s over, you told yourself and tried to hold back the tears. Now that you knew Calum was never going to be yours again, you remembered so many things that you wanted him to know. You wanted him to know how much he had hurt you, and that you hoped it would keep on haunting him for the rest of his day. And you wanted him to know, that you had loved him from the second you laid eyes on him for the first time and that you didn’t think you’d ever stop loving him. But you couldn’t tell him these things, and that was a fact you had to live with.

So you excused yourself from the stranger, walked out of the wedding and called an Uber. When you sat in your apartment, once owned by Calum too, you started packing down your stuff in boxes and not more than a week after, you closed the door to the place where you and Calum had loved each other. The days of reminiscing was over, and now you just had to figure out how to tell your own story instead of the story of yours and Calum’s. The story of you and Calum had ended, and yeah, it wasn’t a happy-ever-after, but you knew that there would be other stories to come.

 

The end

Out Of Nothing At All - Fourteen

You’d lain in bed together for a while longer before deciding to move. Upon checking your phone you saw that Hotch had text you, telling you both not to bother coming in today. You didn’t have a case so it was just going to be another paperwork day.

You called him anyway, updating him on your situation and asking him about the possibility of being excused from field duty and staying behind at HQ until you officially went on maternity leave.

With you being pregnant, technically the Bureau had to do anything they could to assist with the pregnancy in case anything were to go wrong which they could be held liable for. You both knew this and Hotch agreed with your request telling you he’d been sourcing a replacement anyway, another female from Andy Swan’s unit and that he’d speak with them about her taking over sooner than planned. You thanked him profusely, another load taken off your mind.

With the day ahead of you now free, you and Spencer decided to start working on the spare bedroom. You didn’t particularly want to spend tonight alone either and although last night had been fine, it wasn’t a good idea for you to get too comfortable sharing a bed. You knew that you would eventually have to spend the night alone, but you prayed that any cases that came up in the next few weeks would either be local, or that Reid could work from HQ too. You’d mentioned this to Hotch as well who had said it would need to be assessed on a case by case basis, but if you and Spencer were prepared to foot the cost of a commercial flight if Reid was needed in the field, then something could be worked out. Spencer wasn’t normally involved in many of the take downs anyway, so could work just as well via video link from the office.

You showed Reid the spare rooms, the smaller one directly next to yours would of course be the peanuts and the larger guest room with its own en-suite could become Spencer’s.

Reid drove JJ’s car back first thing, collecting his own from her house and picking up a few more belongings from his apartment before heading to the local home depot for storage boxes. The guest room had kinda become your dumping ground for your Gramp’s memorabilia along with old crap that you never used but didn’t have the energy to take to the tip. If you could box up your grandfather’s stuff, then you could shift some of the crap into the smaller room for now so that Reid would have somewhere to sleep. It was a huge job though, one that you regretted starting almost immediately.

It didn’t help that Reid was so interested in the stuff you had of your grandfather’s, like old scripts and film cells and stuff, insisting on asking you about everything.

Three hours had passed and you were exhausted. You slumped on the floor with a bottle of water, leaning against the bed next to Spencer who was quickly thumbing through yet another script he’d found, complete with all of your Gramp’s notes.

“Which one’s that?” you asked him.

“Jackal,” he replied, not even looking up, his finger running quickly down each page. It always amazed you watching him devour the written word so quickly.

“Ahhh. That’s my favourite.” It had been a sleeper hit at the box office but had won a fuck ton of awards including an Academy Award for best original screenplay.

“It’s mine too actually.” Still not looking up.

“Hey Spencer….. You know the little girl at the start.”

“The one who escapes from the Jackal?”

“Yep….. That’s yours truly.”

And now you had his attention. “Really? Oh my god thats awesome! You must have been what? Eight?”

You nodded and explained how you’d begged your Gramp’s to take you to work with him again. You loved going with him, even though he couldn’t always spend an awful lot of time with you when he was directing. He’d set you up in your own mini directors chair in front of one of the monitors and you’d just sit mesmerised. Most kids would have found the constant repetition of the same takes being filmed over and over again boring, but you’d loved it.

On this particular day, the production had run into issues. The actress playing the younger version of the protagonist in the opening scene had been pulled from the movie at the last minute, her parents suddenly finding issue with the content. The producers had seen you sitting there, quietly observing the panic, and made the suggestion to your Grandfather. He’d been reluctant to begin with but had approached you and asked whether you thought you could do this. You could and you did, so excited to be involved. You hadn’t been allowed to actually watch the full movie until years later, due to its rating and it had been so strange seeing yourself on screen.

“So why didn’t you continue with it then?” Spencer asked you.

“Erm…. Well, as much as I enjoyed it, I remember seeing the actress on the set. And for a nine year old, she was so spoiled and haughty. Her parents and assistants ran around catering to her every need and she reminded me so much of my older sisters, thinking they were everything but actually being no more important than me. I just didn’t want to become that. I’d have hated to become from sisters or my mom.”

“Y/N, why….. Why don’t you get on with your family? You never really talk about them much except to say bad things.”

“Erm…. ”

“I’m sorry… That’s too personal. Forget it.”

“No its fine… You should probably know. I’ll guess you’ll eventually meet them anyway. So, I’m quite a lot younger than my sisters. There’s a 10 year age gap between me and the one nearest to me in age. I’ve just always……been different to them. My Mom spend a large amount of her childhood in fancy boarding schools due to my Grandfather’s job. He told me once that he regretted it so much because it turned her into a ‘spoiled little madam with ideas above her station.’ And because my Grandparent’s weren’t used to having the amount of money they were suddenly making, she pretty much got anything she wanted.”

You took a breath before continuing. 

“My Mom married rich, I strongly suspect she didn’t love my father. And she did the same with my sisters, using money from her trust find and our Dad to send my sisters to the same school she went to. My Dad was away on business a lot so he didn’t really have a say in what went on. He died just after I was born by the way… I never knew him. By the time I was born, my Grandpa was fed up with seeing her turning his grandchildren into little princesses and put his foot down with me. He told her that I had to go to a normal public school and have a normal childhood or else he’d cut her and my sisters off and they wouldn’t get their trust funds. My mom remarried… For money again, but couldn’t bear to lose her dad’s money so abided by his wishes, although she employed nannies to actually look after me. And because Gramp’s was older and making less movies, he started spending time with me, that he hadn’t with my siblings. It’s all terribly boring but basically they just all have a sense of entitlement which my Grandpa blamed himself for and I don’t feel any sense of kin to them. We’re all totally different in personality. Plus my Mom’s an evil bitch. It’s down to her that I don’t want kids.”

“How come?”

“Because she’s repeatedly told me that I wouldn’t be a good mother and I’m terrified she’s right.“ 

Wow…. Honesty for once. Most of the time you just told people that it didn’t fit your lifestyle. But somehow…. You felt you owed it to him to be honest.

“Your own mother told you that you wouldn’t be a good mother? What the fuck?”

“And my sisters….. To be fair. One of them had a point. I did nearly kill her kid.”

He coughed, “What?”

Fuck it, in for a penny, in for a pound. You’d never told anyone this.

“When I was thirteen we had a family party. My sisters are a lot older than me like I’ve already said, so I’ve got a fair few nieces and nephews. So the adults were all getting drunk and I was left in charge of the kids, supervising them around the pool.” You took a deep breath before continuing. “I looked away for two minutes, texting this boy that I liked and when I looked up, my five year old nephew had fallen in. And he couldn’t swim.”

You could feel the panic you’d felt all those years ago settling back in.

“I couldn’t move, I was frozen to the spot. All I could do was scream until the adults came running. They pulled him out but he’d stopped breathing.”

Spencer reached his hand out placing it on your arm, the motion calming you without you even realising. “They performed CPR on him and thankfully, he started breathing again. And he’s fine…. No ill effects. He probably doesn’t even remember it. But I do. And so do….. they. My Mom asked me what had been so important that I hadn’t been paying attention and when I told her I was on my phone, she slapped me so hard that she split my lip and marked my face. She called me a selfish little bitch and asked me how I’d feel if my nephew had died because I was too busy thinking about myself. And she’s right….. I’m too selfish to think of other people. It’s always all about me. My sister, his Mom, said she’d never leave me alone with him again and that she hoped I’d never get pregnant because ‘god help the poor child that has Y/N for a Mother.’ And whenever a new baby was introduced into the family, they’d laugh and joke and say that I wasn’t to be allowed near them because I’d drop them or something. So yeah…… That’s kinda why I don’t want kids. Because I can’t be trusted to look after someone else’s child let alone my own.”

Spencer was staring at you, his jaw slack, “What did you your Grandpa say?”

“He didn’t. He was away, and I never told him. I couldn’t tell him I nearly killed his great grandchild.”

It felt so strange saying all of this now, after all these years.

“Y/N, you were thirteen. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes it was. I should have been watching.”

“You were thirteen. The parents should have been watching, not you. They weren’t your responsibility.”

“It WAS my responsibility though. It was, I shouldn’t have been so selfish. But that’s me. Selfish little Y/N. You’ve said it yourself Spencer.”

“Y/N stop. Your family were out of line, in so many ways by the sounds of it. You know what it sounds like to me? Jealousy and resentment because of the special treatment you got from your Grandfather. They wanted to make you feel bad and they’ve used something that was NOT your fault to do that. It was a mistake, an accident. But it wasn’t your fault. And it doesn’t mean you won’t be a good mother.” His voice was quiet and soothing.

“But I won’t be Spencer, I won’t be. How can I be a good Mom when I wanted to get rid of her….. When I tried to get rid of her.” Your voice cracking now and tears threatening to spill.

“Y/N…. You didn’t though did you. Something stopped you. And you know what? Plenty of women who’ve had a termination go on to have other children and be great mom’s. Thinking of terminating or actually terminating a pregnancy doesn’t mean that someone is a bad mother, it just means that maybe that person wasn’t ready. Maybe circumstances meant that it just wasn’t the right time.” He inched closer on the floor until your shoulders were touching and he moved his arm so it was around your shoulders, pulling you into a hug.

“I’m truly sorry for the things I said yesterday. Now I know, I realise how much I must have added to these feelings. But what happened doesn’t mean anything. I know you’re going to be great at this. Because you’re strong, and independent. You’re opinionated. And how can you say you’re selfish when you do what you do for a living? You risk your life on a daily basis for other people. Hell you’ve even saved mine a few times. You’ll be great at this.”

Tears were freely streaming down your face down…..Christ, you couldn’t wait for these extra hormones to do one. You weren’t normally a crier.

“You think so?” Maybe if he genuinely thought this then maybe it was true.

“I know so.”

“Thanks Spencer,” you whispered, wiping your tears away.

“Nothing to thank me for…… But you do realise you have to tell your family about this. And then show them how good a mom you actually are.”

Now that was a point. This was kind of your opportunity to proof them wrong. And fuck, you loved proving people wrong.

“Will you come with me?”

He looked surprised and taken aback by your question and you were surprised too. But you actually did want him there. 

“Of course. Anything you need, I’ll do.”

And you knew that he was telling the truth.

The Missing Piece

|| College! Jihoon AU

|| fluff, angst ???

|| Jihoon x Reader

|| Word Count: 1,307

|| Chapter One || Chapter Two || Chapter Three ||


Summary: You are an art major in college and you’ve always gotten along well with others and worked as hard as you could which rewarded you with a streak of Straight A’s. Jihoon is by far the best music major in the school, which unfortunately you attended with him.  You spent your years without ever running into him, but what happens when you finally meet the hot-tempered producer after an unlucky encounter? Even worse, what happens when you get paired up with this irascible person?

Originally posted by fyhoshi

Updated every Tuesday and Thursday

|| Admin Chae

A/N: Sorry I missed the update on Tuesday. My big brothers were coming to visit and I haven’t seen them in half a year so I was quite busy preparing. I hope you like this chapter. I will try and post another one before this upcoming Tuesday so I hope you guys aren’t too upset that I didn’t post. Feel free to leave a message about how you feel about the story so far :) Ily guys <3 ~Admin Chae


 “Hey… partner.”

The words were still ringing in your ears minutes after the class had ended, and that stupid smirk Jihoon had always seemed to have on his face was glued to your mind.

Your next lecture wasn’t for about another hour and half.

“Why is college so hard? The schedules are crazy, there’s tons of work, and the people that go here… oh boy.” You trudged yourself sulkily to the business section of your large college which had once been one before being separated into an arts school and a business school. Every time you had passed it your mind questioned what kind of person would put those two subjects next to each other.

You brushed off the thought and starting looking for your other best friend who happened to be a business major at this college. You were aware that she might be in a lecture right now but you needed to rant, and you absolutely could not tell Areum anything. She managed to catch up to you after class to tell you that her love psychic powers told her that you and Jihoon would end up together. You had never doubted Areum before but this time she was definitely wrong. There was no way you would fall for a jerk like him.

Your luck seemed to turn as you spotted your best friend who crashed at your place enough that she was practically your roommate too.

“Angel!” you had called her name but it didn’t seem to get her attention as her back was still facing towards you.

You walked closer to her and finally realized why she hadn’t heard you.

“Wah, Angel. What a flirt.”

You watched as she smiled at the handsome boy and reached out her hand so that he could take it in his, and most likely introduce himself.

Angel had always seemed so confident and you wished that you could be like that as well, but since you were always busy studying for school your socializing skills had become a little rusty.

You saw what you had only assumed was the end of their encounter as Angel had pointed in the direction that you had just came from, still oblivious to you standing so near her. She put the coffee she was holding in the hands of the good-looking boy but in a much different manner than Jihoon had done to you earlier that morning. She quickly rushed into the lecture hall without saying anything else.

“I guess we were both late today. What luck.” the boy was now walking towards you, or more likely, towards where Angel had been pointing. He still looked confused about what he was doing or where he was going so you decided to offer him some help.

“Hi umm,” you began quite shyly but remembered how easily Angel was talking to him seconds before, “do you need help finding anything? You look a bit lost.” you let out a small laugh thinking about the expression he wore before you had went to him.

“Ah ya, I’m trying to find the music and arts building. I just got directions but,” he cut himself off releasing an embarrassed chuckle which also revealed his eye smiles.

“I was just coming from there, I can take you if you’d like!” you smiled at him, thankful that the second person you met that day wasn’t horrible like the first had been.

“Ah, if you don’t have anywhere to get to I’d be really thankful.”

“I was actually trying to meet with one of my friends but it seems like she had a lecture to get to so I’m free. Just follow me. By the way, I feel like it’s kind of obvious but you’re new here right?”

“Haha, ya I am. I’m Kwon Soonyoung, nice to meet you.”

“I’m (L/N)(F/N), it’s nice to meet you too.” you two shook hands just like he and Angel had done and you continued walking.

You had gotten to your destination in no time and waved to Soonyoung as you left.

You had about an hour left now before your next class so you decided to stop by the cafe that you weren’t able to go to when you woke up late.

As you sat down in your regular booth in the corner of the cozy cafe you heard your phone chime letting you know that you had a text message. You pulled out your phone desperately hoping it was Angel. You could not have been more disappointed.

The name Coffee Jerk was the name that lit up on your phone. You had unwilling given him your number after he came up to you since you were assigned partners.

Coffee Jerk: Let’s meet up tonight at Carat Cafe around 6. We need to work on ideas for our project. I’m bringing some help.

You replied with a simple “K.” and quickly filled yourself with negative ideas on how this could impact you. It could completely ruin your experiences at this very cafe and make you never want to come again, and what if his “help” is as bad of a person as he is, or perhaps even worse?

You took a sip of the coffee that sat in front of you, ignoring the bitter taste it left in your mouth since you had forgotten to fill it to fit your sweet tooth’s preference. Everything that had happened that morning had your stress and anger filled to the brim and you could feel all the emotions start to overflow. You knew that Angel was in a lecture right now but you had to find a way to get rid of some of these toxic feelings that you were bottling up. Your fingers were moving lightening speed as you spammed Angel’s phone with messages on the day’s earlier events. You started from when you had ran into Jihoon and told her everything up until the moment you were living in currently.

The fact that she was in class was now confirmed as she only replied with one small message, “Maybe you’re overreacting dude. Try to see the good in people.”

The rest of your day seemed to go by pretty quickly. Maybe it was because you had all easy and short classes today and maybe it was because you didn’t have to see that jerk since you had no classes together apart from your newly combined class.

5:50

Classes had finally ended and you were exhausted and ready to sleep, but your phone had chimed again.

Coffee Jerk: You didn’t forget our plan right? You better be there.

He could even annoy you through text, it was a superpower.

6:02

You had looked around the cafe to find Jihoon and recognized a few familiar faces. There were some students from the college who had come regularly to study and do their work by the source of what was keeping them awake. You also saw the foreign girl and the boy with the loud, eccentric friends but it seemed like they were on a date rather than planning for their project. But that was none of your business, right? You smiled to yourself remembering what Areum had told you about those two during class.

You had finally found Jihoon who was coincidentally sitting in your booth and next to him you saw the top of someone’s head who you guessed was his help. You walked to the booth at a fast pace hoping to end the meeting as soon as possible.

Jihoon took a sip of his coffee and set it down on the table. He looked up to meet your eyes. “You’re late.”

“I’m 5 minutes late. It’s no biggy.” You rolled your eyes.

“Time is everything.” the strict man motioned towards his friend, “This is,”

“Soonyoung,” you cut him off. You were shocked to how someone who seemed so polite could be friends with someone like Jihoon.

A bright smile spread across Soonyoung’s face, “(F/N).”

Enchanted (2)

[11:46] Park Jimin: I don’t prefer unfinished business.”

↠suggestive content /wiggles eyebrows/↞

word count: 3.1k /hides/

↠series: 1 | 3 |  ↞


“You frisky bitch!” Jihyo shoved your shoulder causing you to stagger forward. “Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?”

“Sana called for me to help take care of your drunk ass!” You adjusted the bag strap over your shoulder.

“If you told me you were totally getting in on with—” Sana looked around and then leaned in closer only for the three of you to hear. “—with Jimin, then I would have told you to just stay there!”

Keep reading

90 Days of Autumn

Title: 90 Days of Autumn

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Word Count: 1,722

Warnings: fluff fluff and more fluff

Prompt: AU. Sam and the reader meet on a dating app. They have a lot in common: both are from Lawrence Kansas, both have an older brother, both really loved school. But the one thing they don’t have in common is autumn. The reader hates autumn - thinks it’s the most boring and bland season - while Sam really loves autumn and all it has to offer. Sam is determined to make the reader love autumn, one activity at a time.

Originally posted by 394-shades-of-a-fangirl

“When was the last time you went on a date?” your best friend, Josie, asked.

The question had you thinking. When was the last time you went on a date? Gee, it’d seem like it’d been years since you had. Hell, maybe it had been years.

“How long ago did Corbin and I break up?” 

Josie’s face contorted into shock. “Has it really been that long?”

“I was in mourning,” you defended.

“Corbin screwed you over! He shouldn’t have deserved your mourning. What about…wasn’t there my cousin?” 

Keep reading

Preference #18 Anniversary Part 1 (Harry)

      Your two-year anniversary was coming up soon and unfortunately, you both were on tour. You were currently in Australia and One Direction was touring in North America. You were looking at your schedule trying to find a way to be able to be with him, but you weren’t finding any luck. You sighed and lay back on the bed in your hotel room. You were going to call Harry, but you realized that it was still pretty late where he was. Frustrated, you got up and decided to go to your manager’s room. “Look, We need to find a way for me to be with him.” You say. “It’s easier for me because I don’t have 4 other people in a band.” You say. “I don’t have a concert on the actual day of our anniversary, but I do two days after. I have a total of four days off in between tonight’s concert and then. It takes about what a day to travel there and another day to travel back here? If I leave right after tonight’s concert, I can get there and spend at least two days with him. Please.” You sigh. “Let me go. “ You sigh. “Do you even know his schedule?” He asks. “What if you fly there and they are extremely busy.” He says. “I’ve thought about that and I texted Niall and he said that for the most part they’re free.” You say. He sighs. “Fine, I’ll book you your flights on a private plane. Now go pack that way you can be ready as soon as the show is over.” He says. You squeal and hug him tightly before heading to your room. You pack up a few things and a few nice outfits in case you two have time to go out for a nice dinner. You decided that you were going to surprise Harry, so you texted Niall and Louis and told them. You knew that they were probably asleep, but they would get it eventually.

After your show, a car took you straight to the airport. You got on your plane and you tried to fall asleep, but you were to excited. You then realized that you hadn’t gotten him a gift. “Shit.” You mumble. You then started to write down different ideas and items that you wanted to get him. You smirked and thought of the perfect ones. You knew that he hated you buying him things because he always insisted to be the buyer of things. You then started to get sleepy, so you decided to sleep. When your plane lands, you quickly get off and into a car. Niall texted you back and said they would be in rehearsals for a bit, and then you could come. You decided to use what time you had to shop for the items you want.  You went to a few shops and then you made sure to make a stop in the local Victoria Secret. You weren’t big on lingerie, you usually just wore a nice bra and panties, and so you knew that he wouldn’t expect this. You didn’t realize how little fabric there was to the majority of the pieces until you actually started looking. You weren’t sure what you wanted to get and you were starting to feel quite uncomfortable with the attire. You weren’t sure how you would look in these pieces and you were afraid that it could ruin the entire night. You sighed and decided to just give up, but that’s when you saw a piece that still covered a lot, but what it did cover was mostly see through. You smiled and decided to go try it on. It fit perfectly and you felt really sexy in it. You changed back into your clothes and bought a nice little robe to wear over it. Since, that was your last stop, you headed to the hotel and took a quick shower and changed your clothes. You then put all of his presents in a nice bag and then saw that it was almost time for the boys to head back to the hotel. You told Niall to text you when they were on the way so you could meet them downstairs. You waited and you waited and still no text. You sighed and decided to get on twitter. You were looking through your mentions and you saw that a couple of people were tweeting you, well at least mentioning you, they were talking about how the boys were seen out for lunch along with some girls and that Harry looked to be quite cozy with one of them. You bit your lip and looked at the pictures and you couldn’t believe it. You saw your boyfriend with his arm around some girls shoulder and he was whispering in her ear, while she was smiling. You tried not to get jealous, or angry, but it was hard. You felt tears forming in your eyes because you came all this way to celebrate your anniversary and he’s doing that. You text Niall. “Is it true? Is he flirting with some girl? Why didn’t you tell me that you weren’t coming here?” You send him. “Y/N, don’t freak out, yes he’s flirting a bit with her, but I’m sure it’s nothing. If it was we would do something about it, and sorry we got hungry and came for lunch. We’ll be back soon.” He sends. You sigh and still couldn’t believe that he was flirting with her. You knew that he would never cheat on you, but a part of you always wondered if he missed being able to be single. As you started to think about it, you realized that maybe you were holding him back.  You decided that you were going to ask him about it because you needed to know if you needed to let him go. You loved him, you loved him more than you have ever loved anyone, but you wanted him to be happy and if him being happy wasn’t with you, then you were just going to have to live with it.

In the middle of all your thoughts, you started crying and the sound of your phone buzzing took you out of your thoughts. You sniffled and wiped your face and saw that Niall texted that they were on the way. “Just send him to my room please. Don’t tell him it’s me; just say that they switched his room or something. It’s 1590.” You send. About 15 minutes later, you hear the door unlock and in walks your boyfriend. You look up and see him and as much as you want to run over and jump in his arms, you can’t. Instead you break down crying. Hearing your cries, he immediately looks over and sees you. “Y/N!” He smiles happily, but then he realizes you’re crying. “Y/N baby, what’s wrong?” He asks wrapping his arms around you.

“I saw you okay! I saw pictures of you being all over her. Don’t deny it because even the guys told me that you were flirting with her.” You cry.

 He sighs. “Yes, I was flirting with her, but nothing happened.” He says.

“Yet.” You sniffle. “Nothing happened today, but what if I wasn’t here right now. How do I know that it wouldn’t have happened.” You say.

“Because I love you! “ He says. “I love you and I would never cheat on you.”

“Funny how there wasn’t an I love you and I don’t want anyone else, but you. You used to say that when all the cheating rumors would come up, but now it’s just an I would never cheat. I need you to be honest with me. Do you miss being able to just go out and meet girls? Do you miss being single? “ You sniffle. He sighs and then gets up off the bed. He runs his hands through his hair and doesn’t look at you.

“Sometimes, yes.” He starts. “Sometimes, I do miss being able to go out and not worry that someone will catch me looking or talking to a girl and think that I’m going to hook up with her. Yes, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be with other girls or to just not being tied down in a relationship.” He says. You can’t even look at him because you just felt your heart being crushed into a million pieces.

“I-I get it.” You sniffle. “I’ll just go and we can end this. I don’t want to tie you down anymore and you don’t have to worry about anything okay.” You say getting up and getting your things.

“Y/N.” He sighs.

“No, Harry you said it okay. You said that you don’t want to be tied down and that you want other girls. I can’t just ignore that.” You cry.

“You don’t get it Y/N.” He says walking over to you. “I don’t want other girls. I only want you. I know that I only want you. I love you so much, that it hurts. It hurts because these past few months being away from you has been hell. I’ll admit that being here in a lonely hotel room might make me wonder a few things, but anytime I do go out and talk to a girl, I compare her to you. No one compares to you. No one compares to how you make me feel. That scares me. It scares me because the one person that can make me feel like this is you and you have been thousands of miles away, but I know that you’re mine and that I’m yours and that makes the distance a little better. If you walk out that door as my ex girlfriend, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I wouldn’t go out and be with other girls like you might think or you think I want. I would try anything and everything for you to change your mind and be mine again.” He says. “Tomorrow is our two year anniversary. The anniversary of the two best years of my life, don’t make it the start of the worst.” He whispers putting his forehead on yours. “I love you so much, please don’t leave me. Please don’t let me go.”

 

 

* So, this wasn’t exactly my idea for it, but after having writer’s block the past couple of weeks, this idea just started forming. I hope to have part 2 up sometime later this week. Also, I probably will be posting preferences one boy at a time, mostly because it’s harder to get all 5 ideas done in one post and it takes forever for me to write them.

** Also if you have specific topic for a preference that you want done, don’t hesitate to send me a request.  

*** Also, I’m thinking of maybe starting picture/ gif preferences that I can post for when I get writer’s block again. If you guys could possibly give me topics/ideas for those that would be great.

Heartwrecker

jikook (jimin x jungkook) | rating - m | ongoing

CHAPTER 7 | the wrong date

“What if you accidentally fall in love?”

JEON JUNGKOOK: Full-time Student, Part-Time Heartwrecker

When Jungkook is hired to break up the relationship of Taehyung’s childhood best friend, he finds the presence of overwhelmingly attractive Park Jimin a bit more distracting than he could ever expect it to be…

ch. 1 + full summary | ch.2 | ch.3 | ch.4 | ch.5 | ch.6

read on AO3
thanks to @gracefulweather​ for being my b(a)eta~


It was few days later, in the mid-afternoon. Jeon Jungkook was lying on an old bench in a relatively secluded part of the school courtyard, headphones plugged in and eyes closed. Jungkook and Taehyung often liked to hang out at that place together with their close friends, whether to have simple talks or merely rest beneath the cool shades of the large trees.

Jungkook sighed to himself as he shuffled on the bench, trying to get into a more comfortable position. His black bag laid beneath his head for comfort, the books inside abandoned for a later date of study. After all that occurred within the past few days, he felt like he needed some downtime, just to relax and pull himself together again.

Tomorrow, he would have to meet Jimin’s girlfriend again, and he had to have a solid plan by then.

Keep reading

Werewolf!Niall

Word Count: 2838

Rated: PG-13

The town was buzzing about the ‘royal ball’ that was going to take place on Friday, I swear every dress shop in town was jam packed with girls of every age looking for their 'perfect’ dress. I wasn’t planning on going, I didn’t even like wearing dresses. Out of all people I knew this was only so the prince could find his soulmate, or another fuck buddy for the year. I wasn’t too fond of our future ruler.

My distaste for him came along when my twin sister went to a party and slept with him, after that she would not shut up about him, I guess she said it was 'love’, but I of all people know it was not love, but lust. I hated relationships and I hated men with a passion. I didn’t think I would ever get married or have the family I dreamed of because most every man I came across was the same, and if they couldn’t sleep with me they would sleep with my sister.

I walked into my house feeling the warm air squeeze me tight in a welcoming hug. The Autumn air was bitter and had a mean bite to it, so the warmth of my house was like heaven- or hell since hell is warm.

“Honey I’m home!” I called walking through the mud room.

I dropped my bag on the floor as I was greeted by silence. The only sound in the house was the sound of my two dogs running towards me in excitement. I laughed dropping to my knees in order to pet them. Ash my white German Sheppard barked before licking my face while Lady tried to place herself in my lap jealous for attention that she was not getting.

I giggled at the two large dogs before I stood to my feet. The walk home had made me thirsty and the only thing on my mind was the two liter of soda had  bought the other day for myself.

My feet carried me to the kitchen in direction of the fridge where I found an unexpected note left by my mother.

     Y/N, I took your sister to get a dress.

          -Mom

My mom always did so much for my sister, and the bad thing was is that we were twins. Everyone just seemed to like her more. Ever since I was younger my mother would take her company over mine and I think it is because she was more girly than I was and my mother always dreamed of having a daughter she could dress up like a princess. I began to wonder if my mother knew how big of a slut my sister was at school, but I guessed not because in my mothers eyes my sister was a saint.

I rolled my eyes crumbling up the note and tossing it on our cluttered table that was placed in the middle of the kitchen where we often didn’t eat, but set our food.

As my right hand opened the fridge and went to reach for the soda I had, my phone went off at the same time. I groaned reaching with my left hand to grab my phone from the waist band of my leggings.

I guessed it was my friend Halie because she was the only person I really texted. Closing the fridge door with my foot I set the soda on the table and unlocked my phone to read the text message I just received.

'You’re coming with me to get a dress.’

'Hal I’m not going.’

I replied setting my phone down in order to take a drink of my soda. Halie’s mother is practically forcing her to go to the dance just because she believes Hal will find true love there. I honestly believed it was her mothers thirst for money hence the reason Hal’s father is like fifty and her mother is only thirty seven. Her father was a successful business man that worked for the royal council trading with other kingdoms.

Hal had a father that loved her but her mother was a different story and all she wanted was money and the inheritance when her husband died. Sometimes Hal would tell me how she wished her father would divorce her mother, or how she wished her father would write her mother out of his will.

'Yes if I have to, so do you.’ She texted back.

'Hal, no.’

'I’m outside I’ll be in, in a second.’

I didn’t bother texting her back because no matter what I said or did, she would find a way to get me to a shop in search for a dress, even if that meant she had to drug me and drag me there. She was not fond of dress shopping alone especially when she knows I wont attend if she doesn’t make me. She was just upset my mother didn’t care that I went because my mother knew no man would take an interest in me who had such class and money.

The door opened and I heard the dog jump off the recliners each of them made their own. Hal’s voiced echoed through the empty house as she pet Lady and Ash. Her mother didn’t allow pets like my mother did but her mother was also allergic to pet dandruff or so she said.

I glanced over in her direction as I put the soda back in the fridge closing it securely.

“Hurry up slow poke, my aunt closed the shop so we can have first dibs before everyone swarms it tomorrow.” Hal grinned like a spoiled child.

“Okay dork.” I chuckled grabbing my shoes that sat beside her on the rug. “Let me grab my purse.”

“Nope on me.” She spoke abruptly grabbing my wrist and pulling me out the door.

…..

“How about this one?” Hal asked with a small smile. I could tell she wasn’t sure about it but as soon as I liked up I could tell that it was the one.

“Yes, you’ll definitely get dick in that.” I smirked locking my phone and setting it in my lap.

“Y/N!” Hal squealed playfully as she looked at her reflection once more. “I think you’re right though.”

Hal chose a beautiful green and blue dress that fit her form perfectly. It was as if Karen -her aunt- knew she was going to love it and made it specifically for Hal. I grinned when I saw her making silly faces at herself in the mirror. Hal was the sweetest girl I knew and if any guy at that stupid ball broke her heart or played her I was going to break their balls.

I got up from my spot finally going to search for a dress that I could wear Friday and look presentable to the world. With every rack I couldn’t really find any interest in the dresses I saw considering they were very revealing or too colorful for my eyes. I cringed with every dress I saw that I knew would look wither way to terrible, or way too colorful and cheery on me.

With a sigh I almost felt like giving up and it had only been three minuets since I even attempted to find a dress I semi-liked. I hated being a girl sometimes. Everyone expected so much from you. You had to look elegant, and you either had to be very rich or very smart for society to accept you into their world.

Why couldn’t people just accept you as you are? I think everyone just liked to feel better about themselves that’s why. Stupid people. I thought as I passed another cringe worthy dress.

“Y/N, honey you don’t have to cringe at every dress.” Karen frowned jokingly. “What are you looking for pretty girl?”

“Something simple and colorless.” I spoke without thinking completely. I didn’t want to sound too needy or like I was ungrateful I just wanted something that was me and not society.

While Karen left to go look for what I may consider wearing I continued to rummage through the racks of dressed that seemed to be more and more unappealing to me the longer I spent looking.

“Don’t worry Y/N.” I heard Hal say trying to give me hope but I didn’t think it was possible. Until Karen came around the corner with the most beautiful dress I had ever seen.

It was black and the top was cut low between the valley of the breast yet it was still beautiful as ever with a silver belt. At the bottom it was slightly puffy with the black fading into silver sequences. The back went  just below the shoulder blade area so I knew I wouldn’t reveal too much of my backside.

“Go try it on.” Karen smiled widely handing me the dress.

I walked quietly to the dressing room still surprised that I liked the dress as much as I did considering it was a dress. I tried to change as quickly as I could and as gently as I could so I didn’t tear to damage the dress. For some reason I couldn’t take my eyes off of it.

I walked out of the dressing room holding the front of my dress to my body in search of Karen so she could zip me up. To my dismay I bumped into someone. It was a man I could tell that much by how tall they were and how hard their chest was. They must work out.

“Oh sorry.” I spoke looking up to meet a pair of tinted sunglasses that his whoever’s eyes.

“It’s alright.” He spoke with a strong Irish accent. “That is a lovely dress. Would you like me to zip it up.”

“Would you?" I asked turning around so he could.

A warm hand was placed on my shoulder while the other one magically zipped it up. I was surprised it fit me as well as it did.

"You should get this one. It looks lovely on you.” He smiled

“Thank you.”

“I’m… Horan.” He grinned holding out his hand for me to shake or so I thought.

“Y/N." I replied placing my hand in his, but before I could shake it he lifted the back of my hand to his soft lips and placed a long kiss on my skin.

I could feel a small blush creep up my neck but I tried not to show it by looking down at our feet.

"Will you be attending the ball this Friday?” He asked slowly.

“Sadly.” I mumbled looking up once more to examine his flawless face.

He frowned seeming quiet hurt by my words but I tried not to dwell on it.

“Do you not like the prince.”

I chuckled at the irony of his guess.

“He slept with my sister a while ago and she wouldn’t shut up about him, it got quite annoying and now all I hear is her and my mother talking about it, plus I don’t like dresses and dancing.”

“I see, well I hope to see you there.. Red.”

“What?”

“Wear red, on your lips.” He spoke pressing a kiss to my cheek before he walked towards the exit of the shop.

I touched the spot where he kissed. This was definitely my dress.


…..


The greeting hall was crowded and girls of all shapes and sized were gathered talking about the prince and other sorts of things. My sister was at my side eyes scanning the room surely looking for you know who. I rolled my eyes scanning the room myself, but I on the other hand was looking for Hal who came with her aunt. Karen only came because she was here to support her brother.


When my eyes landed on the black haired girl a smile crossed my face and I made my way over to my friend leaving my whorish sister to do what she does best.


I walked down the stairs earning a few glares from girls who seemed to be the type of people that liked to criticize everyone and everything. Keeping my head up and casually walking over to Hal and Karen. I smiled brightly when her eyes landed on me however she gave a small frown raising up a mask. Knitting my eyebrows together I looked around noticing half the guests were in masks, a masquerade. I mentally spoke to myself noticing guards handing out ones to certain girls that matches their dresses. At least they matched.

“Hello.” I smiled crossing my arms over my chest.

“Hey love.” Hal winked scrunching up her nose. “Apparently Prince Niall wanted a masked party so we all get these stupid things.”

I shrugged my shoulders not much caring for the idea but not much complaining with the idea either.

We all made small talk while waiting for the doors to be opened. Prince Niall was apparently running late, and I still hadn’t been handed a mask yet. Everyone had one, everyone! I started becoming self conscious while the people stared at me for not having one.

“Y/N!" I heard a somewhat familiar name. Turning around I noticed Horan running towards me. I could only tell it was him by the way he smiled.

When the skinny blonde boy made his way over a smile still plastered across his face he enveloped me in a warm hug. A very warm hug. He smelled like old spice and after shave put together in one. His hands rested on my shoulders as he pulled away from me only to examine my body and my face.

"You look absolutely stunning.” He smiled touching his thumb to my red lips. “I have something for you.”

Horan pulled a black lace mask from behind his back and pressed it to my face. Before I could even say anything he tied the ribbon to hold the foreign object to my face. A smile crept upon my face as his blue eyes locked with mine. It was the first time I could actually see his eyes, yet the rest of his face was covered by a large mask.

“You look very handsome as well.”

“I must go but I will meet up with you right after the princes speech.” He promised.

“Alright.” I nodded turning away to go and find Hal.

Everything was silent as we all waiting for the prince to make his big appearance. Somehow I found myself wandering the halls of the castle in search of the bathroom where a guard had misguided me because the second door on the right was a staircase. Why me?

The more I walked the more tired I became. I couldn’t find a single soul that could direct me back to the party because they were all at the party. I was growing irritated, because I was tired and I wanted to sit down and wait for Horan to find me but the chances of that were slim to none.

Ten minuets passes and I was yanked into a room by my arm. Well shit.

Their large hand covered my mouth but it was too dark to see what the person looked like.

“I’ve been looking all over for you.” Horan?

“I got lost.” I replied.

“We have to hide, so we’re going to stay here. A neighboring kingdom charged an attack on the castle and we are short on arms for now.”

“What?”

Horan flicked the light to the room on while running to close the curtains so no one could see inside. That’s when I knew. He was the prince. Niall. Oh lord what are the odds.

I began shaking my head while resting it in my hands wishing this was all just a sick dream where I would be stuck with one of my sisters ex flings. Even if Niall was dreamy and god like that doesn’t change the fact he slept with my sister.

“Did you find your soulmate?” I asked softly as I sat on the large bed in the middle of the room.

“Indeed.” He spoke pacing around not meeting my gaze.

I gulped audibly causing him to stop where he was. “It’s you.”

My body grew light and my head began spinning. This couldn’t be happening to me. I can’t be his soul mate.

“Y/N, don’t you see I slept with your sister because she was like you so there was this small connection, but not as half as strong as the one we share.”

“Why can’t I feel it?”

“You’re blocking it with your feelings and emotions of how you see me.” He responded.

Niall leaned in causing me to hesitate for a second before his soft lips that were kissing the back of my hand the other day were now pressed firmly against my own lips. He was gentle and smooth with his movements getting me to relax in his arms. It was only a matter of time before I was kissing him back.

“You’re mine.” He growled pulling away just to kiss me harder than before.

I was his.

All This Time | Shawn Mendes Imagine

 A/N: this is going to be a little different, dealing with being drunk for a tiny tiny bit so I dunno, I just felt like mentioning that. And I don’t know what it feels like to be drunk (I don’t drink haha) so sorry if this is a bit off.

This is my own little idea so yayy

***

Your POV

Shawn stopped the car at the front of the house, and we stepped out, him taking me to the door. His hand was around on my shoulder, holding me close. 

I have to admit, Shawn is pretty cute, and he is one of the sweetest, most talented people I know.

Maybe I liked him a bit.

But he doesn’t need to know that.

I knocked on the door, and it opened, revealing a boy with a red party cup in his hand. He positioned himself in a laid-back position in the door frame, “hey, you’re here for the party?”

“Yeah.”

“Come on in,” the boy tilted his head towards the inside. I felt my stomach clench. The place reeked of alcohol and looked like a mess. I had never gone to a real party, I was all too shy. The real reason I was here was because I wanted to get accepted.

I wanted them to either leave me alone,

or for them to see that i’m just like them and maybe, just maybe, they’ll find a reason to not pick on me.

I turned to Shawn, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my sweater. It was cold outside tonight, and I was wearing the most party-appropriate outfit I had in my closet, but based on what all the other girls were wearing, it didn’t make the cut. Shawn pressed his lips together, as if to ask me what’s wrong?

He then pulled me into a friendly hug, and whispered in my ear, “what’s up?”

“I’m scared.”

“Just don’t do anything crazy, alright? Promise me that.”

“I won’t.”

He pulled away, pecked me on the cheek, and walked off to the car.

“Your boyfriend?” the boy in the door asked, raising an eyebrow,

“Oh, what? Noo, no no no. He’s just… He’s just…” I turned around in Shawn’s direction, watching him drive away, “a friend.”

***

SHAWN’S POV

12:00

I had to admit, I was a little worried for Y/N. I mean, anything can happen at a party, but she’d promised me nothing crazy would happen, and she’d text me if she needed to be picked up, so I trusted her.

I’d known her long enough to trust her. I remembered how we met during middle school, how I immediately noticed the way she smiled and the way her eyes lit up the room. Ever since I first hugged her I wanted to just hold her there for as long as I could, because I knew that people had been hurting her.

I’ve seen all the nasty things that people’d write about her online. I’ve heard her pacing back and forth in her room muttering to herself about everything she wanted to change about herself.

She hated her height. But why? She fit so perfectly into me when we embraced it felt like pieces of a puzzle clicking together.

She was one of the cutest little things on the planet. 

Pushing my thoughts aside, I remembered that it was getting late, past midnight, and she hasn’t asked me to pick her up yet. No text, no call, nothing. But then I heard my phone buzz.

Y/N: SHAWNWNWSDF

S: y/n are you ok…?

Y/N: I DRANKKRLK SOMETHNIGRS THNATA TASETTEED FUNHNHY AND NOLW I CANT TPYE PEROPOERLYH HA

I stared at my screen. Oh god, she’s been drinking. How did she get her hands on beer??

S: y/n im coming to pick you up

Y/N: IIM FINE

I went right to the car, jammed the keys in, and drove off.

***

YOUR POV

I’ve got no idea what was going on. One second I was at the party and now I’m in a bathroom.

My head was spinning, I felt like I was going to hurl, and I couldn’t walk ten steps without falling over. I felt horrible.

My head was positioned over the toilet and I felt like I was spewing my insides out. I’d never been drunk before. I now know that I hated the feeling. I heard the door handle twist and swing open. I wiped my mouth, looking up, my eyes meeting those of Shawn Mendes. I squinted. Maybe I’m hallucinating. I was still a bit drunk, I couldn’t think straight and my words would slur together when I spoke, after all.

“Shawnnwhatamidoingherrrrrre….”

“You got drunk at that party, and so I brought you home. You okay?” his tone seemed kind and comforting, yet his expression looked like that of an angry parent.

“IdunnntknowwIfeelfunny………” I replied, my eyes feeling like they were going to squeeze shut, like I was going to pass out again. My head hurt like hell, “waittttt am i in your house…??”

“Y/N why’d you do this to yourself?”

“Why duzzit matter…” I said lazily, hanging over the toilet bowl.

“I don’t know… It’s just… I care about you, and I don’t like seeing you like this. It makes me hurt.”

My head was spinning with thoughts, and the fact that I was drunk was not helping.

The logical part of me wanted to just thank him for bringing me here, and ask for him to take me home.

The drunk part of me wanted to go right up to him and kiss him like I’d wanted to since the day I met him, and at the same time slap him for making me feel emotions.

I slammed the toilet seat cover down, the drunk part of me taking over, I cradled my head in my arms on top of the cover, pressing my forehead to the cover, “Yer’ makin’ this soo hard for me Shawn, why?!!?!” I sobbed, my feelings a mess. My heart felt like it was swelling with all the bottled up emotions that I’d held back from Shawn, “You’re making this so. Damn. Hard!”

“What do you mean-”

“I LIKE YOU!” I sobbed again, tears dripping from the toilet onto the tile floor, “ever since the first time I saw you, I had the most embarrassing crush on you and now I can’t take it anymore!” I hunched my back, curling in my shoulders, my body trembling with confusion, anger, and overwhelming shame.

My head was spinning again, it felt like someone was banging a drum in my head, I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut, and the world went dark.

***

I can’t remember a thing. I could vaguely remember passing out in Shawn’s bathroom, but I can’t remember what I had said, what I had done, and how I got to his bedroom. I sat up, and looked out the window. The sun had risen. 

Do my parents know I’m here?

Suddenly I realized how I looked from my reflection on the window. I had a massive bruise on the side of my neck by my temple. I put my hand up to reach it, pressed a bit, and winced, my hand shooting away from my head. 

How did I get that bruise?

“You’re awake?” I heard Shawn walk in through the door. 

Me screaming, “You’re making this so. Damn. Hard!”

Me slamming the toilet seat cover down.

The pain.

The confusion.

The hurt.

The feelings.

My muscles tensed as I gradually remembered bits and pieces from the night before. Shawn knows what i’d tried for so long to hide from him now. He knows, and he doesn’t like me. I parted my lips, my cheeks burning.

“Shawn, I…” I trailed off. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to think, I-

Shawn then walked right up to me, squatted down next to the bed, and wrapped his arms around me. I could feel his warm breath down my neck, sending chills down my spine. He pulled me close to him, my head resting on his chest, and my arms around his torso. “I like you a lot too,” he said, “I wish I told you that when I met you.”

I pulled away, taken aback. My heart was pounding, adrenaline pumping through my veins, “All this time?”

He nodded, the sides of his lips curling into a smile, his eyes looking off to the side. I could see his cheeks turning a shade of red, “Stop it, you’re making me shy!”

I laughed crashing into him and pulling him into another hug. He was knocked down by the force, and laughed as he fell onto the soft carpet pulling me with him. He ran his fingers through my hair, and his smile faded, his eyes landing on my lips. He rolled over, so now he was on top of me.

“Did I ever tell you that you’re kind of cute?”

“I’m afraid you haven’t,” I said, looking into his eyes. He slowly lowered himself, his lips drawing closer and closer to mine, and our lips slowly met.

And they didn’t part for a very long time.

**

A/N: Yaay that was the new imagine! Not really sure how I feel about this one, so please tell me what you think when you reblog, I’d really appreciate it! 

Please check out my other imagines, which are in my ‘imagines’ page on my blog. My recent imagine ‘No one Can Replace Me’ basically made everyone who made it cry so like I decided to make happier ones for a while. Yup.

Byeee!

Halloween Party (Joe Sugg Imagine)

It was a few days before Halloween and you were at the annual youtuber Halloween party with some of your friends. You’d had your channel for a little under a year not expecting it to have become so popular, now here you were at your first youtuber event. You’d met a few people at the party before, you’d even collabed with a couple of them, but for the most part you felt like an outsider.

‘Hey Y/N’ Oli came over giving you a hug, you’d met Oli twice before, he was nice and you appreciated his company. ‘How come you’re sat over here on your own’ he asked looking concerned.

‘Honestly this is kind of overwhelming, I hardly know anyone here’ you admitted.

‘Really? Come on I’ll introduce you, everyone’s really friendly you don’t need to worry’

'Ok’ you agreed putting on a fake smile.

Oli was right, you didn’t need to worry, he introduced you to Alfie, Zoe, Marcus, Niomi, Jim and Tanya to name a few. You wondered why you’d been so nervous, it turned out a lot of them had even watched your videos and had been excited to meet you.

'Oh and this is Caspar’ Oli said gesturing to the tall zombified male to your right. 'Caspar this is Y/N’

'I know you, Joe watches your videos all the time, he love you!’ Caspar smiled taking a sip of his drink.

'Joe?’ You queried trying to work out who Caspar was on about.

'Yeah he’s around somewhere I’ll go and find him, he’d love to meet you’

'Ok’ you blushed feeling flattered.

About five minutes later Caspar returned with another lad you could barely recognise, mainly because he had his face painted as part of his clown costume.

'You look terrifying’ you told him not quite sure where to look.

'Sorry, I didn’t know you’d be here or I would’ve dressed a little bit more presentable’ he smirked.

'I’m Y/N’ you introduced yourself.

'Joe’ he nodded in reply.

'Oh! I do know who you are, your Zoe’s brother’ it all started to click into place. 'I’ve seen a couple of your videos, you’re funny’

'I was about to say the same thing to you, I love your channel’ Joe returned the compliment.

'Really?’

'Definitely, your amazing… It’s amazing’ Joe stumbled over his words. 'Actually I’ve been wanting to track you down to see if you wanted to collab sometime?’

'That’d be great’ you smiled at him.

'So how come I haven’t seen you around before?’

'I haven’t really been to anything like this before, I hardly know anyone, Oli’s been sweet and introduced me to a few people but you guys all have a really good bond’ you nodded in the direction of Joe’s friends and sister. 'I nearly didn’t come tonight’

'I’m glad you did’ Joe winked causing you to blush.

'Me too’

'And for the record, I think you’ll fit in with everyone just fine, you seem pretty incredible to me anyway’ he smiled awkwardly at you.

'Stop trying to flirt with the new girl you’ll scare her off’ Alfie remarked as a few of the group joined the two of you.

'At least get the girl a drink’ Jim said shooing Joe in the direction of the bar.

You looked at Joe sheepishly as he walked away from the group.

'I’m sorry if he’s said anything embarrassing’ Zoe told you and you laughed.

'Not at all, he was being really nice actually’

'Because he fancies you’ Caspar added in.

'Does he?’ Oli looked surprised, 'I never knew that’

'Really because all I’ve heard for the past six months is how much he wants to collaborate with her’

'And you were worried about meeting them all’ Oli nudged you, 'you practically have a fan club’

'Yeah we all watch your videos, you’ll have to come out with us more often’ Tanya smiled at you, it was the warm genuine kind of smile that you appreciated.

'Err I didn’t know what you wanted so I got you a vodka cranberry, I hope that’s okay, I can change it if you want’ Joe offered holding out a drink to you.

'My favourite, how did you know?’ You thanked him taking the glass from his hand.

'You mentioned something in a video about having one too many vodka cranberries once’ the edge of his lips curved into a smile and you mirrored his expression surprised by how observant he’d been to your videos.

'You sound like such a stalker’ Marcus joked taking the mick out of him. You thought you saw Joe blush but it was hard to tell through his face paint.

'I think it’s sweet’ you acknowledged to Joe’s relief. 'I have my own little Halloween stalker’ you teased and everyone laughed making you relax a little. 'Do you guys mind if I vlog a bit?’

'You’re stood in a group of vloggers Y/N you don’t need to ask’ Oli laughed at you and you stuck your tongue out at him as you pulled out your camera.

'Look who I found!’ You cheered panning the camera round so everyone could wave. 'We’re at the party and as you can see everyone looks amazing!’

'Except Joe who looks terrifying’ Zoe added in and you laughed flicking the camera back to Joe.

'Joe keeps freaking everyone out with his costume, if anyone’s scared of clowns then I’m sorry!’

Joe started making creepy faces into your camera lens and you turned it back on yourself laughing at him.

'So I found these guys and we’re all going to have a spooktacular night!’ You switched off the camera only taking it out again to record snippets of people dancing and having fun.

As the night went on everyone was getting increasingly merry. You were stood at the bar getting another drink when Joe reappeared at your side.

'So how’s your night going?’ He asked.

'Really good thanks, I think I’m going to head home after this drink though’

'Well then I better make the most of your company whilst I can’

'You’re such a flirt!’ You smirked at him.

'Only to girls I really like’ he winked at you and you felt yourself blushing.

'You really like me?’

'Of course I do’ Joe leant in as if to kiss you but you pulled away quickly leaving him to look embarrassed.

'Not because I don’t want to’ you explained 'I jus don’t want to get covered in clown make up before I go home’

'Oh’ Joe chuckled 'I knew I should’ve worn a different costume’

'I don’t know, I think it gives you a pretty good excuse to see me again, we’ve got to finish what we started right’ it was your turn to wink this time.

Joe pulled out his phone letting you tap in his number before you left. You said your goodbyes and got into a taxi outside. As it pulled off you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. It was a text from a number you didn’t recognise.

To be continued… Joe x

Pre-screening event of Haruchika with Saito Soma and Hanae Natsuki Report

Premium Screening Event of anime Haruchika ~Haruta to Chika wa Seishun Suru~

Date: 4th January 2016
Place: Science Museum, Science Hall
Guests: Bridcutt Sarah Emi, Saito Soma, Hanae Natsuki, Chisuga Haruka, Haruno Sei, Hashimoto Masakazu, Tsuji Mitsuhito, fhána


As I have mentioned before I was attending to this event. That’s it finished and now that I’m back at my apartment here’s my report(ish). Updated: I didn’t think I’d take THIS long to write up!

WARNING! It’s LONG! EXTREMELY! This is more personal than formal. A LOT OF FANGIRLING. Some of the order might be wrong. I won’t cover everything as I didn’t understand what they were saying about 50% of the time? And I was also too busy staring at Soma-kun to listen to others Σ( ̄。 ̄ノ)ノ sorrynotsorry totallyworthit

Soma-kun was so cute!! His laughs are so cute! He so good looking!!! GAHHHHHHHHH.
He sounds exactly as he does in CDs/animes etc. Nacchan as well

And Nacchan, what can I say? He’s just such a big dork!

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Who lied and said this was TV ready? {8x08 Review}

As those of you who read my reviews know, I do write in real time so whatever mistakes I made in the beginning of the post I may have rectified at the end. This post will most likely include anti-Damon/anti-Delena/anti-Bamon/anti-Steroline/anti-Bonenzo sentiments. I will probably call out misogynoir, anti-black and racist treatment and perhaps make references to True Blood, Buffy The Vampire Slayer or other shows. I also did this on my phone so sorry if the format is fucked up. If you do not like it, no one is forcing you to read. OK? OK. Alright. Let’s go.

1. “I thought we were going for a more … veiled approach” I find this line funny because I think it’s the ultimate difference between Paul and Ian as actors.

2. “Clarity over cleverness that’s what I always say” which is funny coming from Damon since he spends so much of his time trying to be clever.

3. Of course the MOC is the most evil person in the anger management room. I’m done.

4. “Cade can have him, these are mine” I don’t know why I find that hilarious.

5. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY NO ONE IS TRYING TO FIND LOOPHOLES AGAINST CADE. Caroline is just “cool, Stefan, go and be evil with the devil” WHAT?

6. I didn’t realize how much I missed Mattoline, they’re cute.

7. “Welcome to the circle of trust”? Really, Matt? I’m surprised the entire town doesn’t know that there is supernatural shit going on in this town like y’all are TERRIBLE at keeping shit under wraps.

8. “Are you mind controlling these kids?” This is literally compulsion.

9. Sybil’s voice is still annoying and this entire exercise with Caroline seems pointless.
Paul looks really hot.

10. It’s annoyingly transparent that the doctor Stefan and Damon are describing is a symbol of Elena: “early twenties and already a doctor, she must’ve thrown herself in her work, why do you think that is, Damon? Maybe she was driven by something dark” (I’m paraphrasing) while Damon wants to believe she’s driven by something good and looks visibly affected by Stefan’s description thereby subtly attempting to dismantle SE and prop up DE. I am so irritated.

11. I do have to admit that Paul’s “Sounds like betting words to me” sounded really sexy, I don’t know why, his delivery was slick and vaguely amused.

12. I do also have to admit to chuckling when Stefan vervains Damon and yells, “Oh my God, is there a doctor here???”

13. But seriously, Paul is rivalling season 2 Paul.

14. REALLY?????? THE DOCTOR’S PARENTS DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT. HOW TRANSPARENT ARE THEY GOING TO BE WITH THIS SHIT?

15. It’s really annoying and in bad taste that the show is discussing how the Founding Families didn’t found Mystic Falls because other people were there first (witches) and we’re just ignoring the fact that there would’ve been Indigenous nations. I also like how we’re talking about history but we wouldn’t talk about enslavement even though MF is in fucking Virginia.

16. Oh look a black student is collateral damage in Sybil and Caroline’s game.

17. “Grandma, she liked the ponies” omg what a clichéd line.

18. Caroline doesn’t even seem that anxious about these potentially dead students.

19. “Give me a chance to redeem myself” my lord, Elena standin.

20. Obviously Stefan is going to lose this because it’s supposed to show that Elena wouldn’t give up on Damon. I’m sooooooooooooo bored.

21. Oh Tara “killed” him. OK. I feel like I’m meant to be sad about this. I’m not.

22. Are we really fucking doing this? Matt’s dad is angry at the Founding families because they were rich and ran the town while his family were skilled traders and looked down upon as such when Bonnie’s fucking ancestor was enslaved to Katherine??? WHEN THERE WERE ENSLAVED PEOPLES IN THIS TOWN? Matt’s dad gets a rant but we’re not talking about the racist history? Why am I even surprised by this?

23. I don’t get it, nobody even knows where the fuck the bell was so why would Sybil enlist the help of enemies to help her find a weapon that could destroy her?

24. Did we establish a range in which Sybil can use her song to contro people?

25. The season 1 soundtrack doesn’t work with scenes that don’t have emotional punch.

26. Matt: “I was the only one who didn’t have a legacy” WHAT ABOUT BONNIE? OMG. Bonnie is the ONLY friend who wasn’t even in the fucking PARADE.

27. Of course Damon went back for a necklace that should symbolize SE but I mean, hey, who cares about canon.

28. I like the song playing though.

29. If Paul directed this episode the hallway massacre would’ve been an actual massacre.

Final thoughts. I wasn’t as angry at this episode as I expected to be, maybe because my friend texted me and ranted about the necklace retcon, so I was prepared and just became irritated when confronted with it. And I realize my issue with the necklace is the same issue I have with Delena versus Stelena — the necklace is about Damon, like let’s say the necklace was symbolic for Damon, it would be symbolic of the times he attempted to do something selfless, like he didn’t compel Elena in 1x11 because he wanted it to be real, he gave her back the necklace in 3x01 because he knew what it meant to her, this is about Damon’s journey but the necklace for SE is actually representative of Stefan and Elena: for Stefan he gave it to her because it represented hope, he had it for some 80-odd years and didn’t find it fit to give to anyone except her and for Elena it was also about hope, which she says, and it’s about choice: “no matter what you feel about me, you’ll know you were free to make your own choice” so many big moments happen between Stefan and Elena when she’s wearing the necklace; their love scene, their blood share, their phone call, like it’s actually symbolic of their RELATIONSHIP, it’s symbiotic, reciprocal. Anyway, the episode was dull and unbelievably racist.

Masterpiece // S.W.
Anonymous requested:
Can I please have one where y/n is extremely curvy and the boys treat her to go out shopping and she’s embarrassed because the guys chose clothes that don’t really fit her so she gets upset and goes home then Sam comforts her

2015: The year of change. A revolution of acceptance towards others and even ourselves. I am no exception. I’ve always been a bit ‘on the heavier side,’ as my mother would describe, but it wasn’t until late last year that I began the road to body love. Needless to say, I still find myself having difficulty dealing with self-image. 

One of the main scenarios would be shopping with my slimmer friends. Don’t get me wrong, I loved them all to death, but it could get rather discouraging when they got to shop in the normal section whilst I floated through the plus sizes. As much as I enjoyed spending time with them, I preferred shopping alone most of the time. Today was one of those times.

I had just walked into a random store in the mall, readily set on achieving a successful shopping day. However, within mere moments I found myself in the direct view of a couple of my male friends. I turned away in hopes that they’d be oblivious of my presence, but the inevitable won as I heard them talk amongst themselves.

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anonymous asked:

I'm thinking someone already did this, but if I possibly could get down on my knees and clasp my hands together and give you Octavia Blake level puppy dog eyes, could you maybe, just maybe... add a fifth part to the texting clexa fic?

curses, how did you know? my one weakness.  octavia blake puppy dog eyes. (that was a blatant lie. i have many, many weaknesses.) part one, two, three, four

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