OK so sorry for the long wait yall! ive been so busy with school n stuff! but i promised more pics and video! so here it isss! In the first one the camera man was filming me takin pics with kookie! hehe IT LOOKS LIKE IM SITTING ON HIS LAP LOL BUT IM RLLY NOT THO * i wish a was tho oops* 

but anyways! he was also so sweet! he let us take that picture on the bottom with him! *sorry i look wierd jesus christ i was shakin so it was hard for me to smile normally* 

sorry took keep yall waiting! theres another video on the way for you! 

hopefully there will be a AHL season 2 WOOHOO! bts fighting! Miss you boys


Request - Can you please do one like a Dean x reader one where Charlie was her best friend and she was there when they found her and the reader just kinda starts shutting down and she won’t talk to Sam at all can’t even look at him and she won’t talk and Dean helps her through it or whatever I’m just so broken about this I can’t do anything I’ve been crying for the past hour 

A/N: Im so sorry it took me so long to upload this. My computer has been with Best Buy for almost a month and ive been busy with school and everything and its just blah blah blah. But im so sorry! And i didnt know where i was really going with the ending but im suffering from sleep deprivation so oh well. 

Originally posted by green-circles

Sam and Dean were in the other room arguing about The Book Of The Damned when you got a call from Charlie. “Y/N! There is someone here!” “Charlie you were supposed to be with Cas! Where are you!” “Um im at the Blackbird motel. Please hurry.” You quickly run out of your room to the boys. “Lets go! Someone got to Charlie! Lets fucking go come on!” You were still on the phone with Charlie. “Charlie listen to me. You give them whatever they want! Do you understand me?” “Sorry Y/N. I cant do that.” Charlie hung up the phone. “No! Dammit Charlie!” You couldn’t wait for the boys to grab there things. You grabbed your bag and ran to the Impala. You opened the garage door and parked infront of the bunker door so the boys could just hop in and you could speed off.

You got to the motel where Charlie was at. The door was wide open. Not even putting the impala in park you pulled your gun out and ran inside. “Charlie!” You kept screaming but there was nothing but silence. Sam and Dean went to look in the bathroom and stopped in the doorway. You quickly pushed past them to see your best friend bloody in a bathtub. You dropped to your knees tears forcefully falling form your eyes. Dean cradled you in your arms whispering comforting words in your ears doing anything to calm you down. You were violently shaking, and your whole body felt like jello when you tried to stand up. Dean picked you up bridal style and carried you to the car placing you in the front seat next to him. You laid down trying to calm down and stop crying but you couldn’t. Dean made Sam sit in the backseat. Dean sat in the drivers seat and you lifted your head to put it on his lap. He caressed your hair until you fell asleep.

You woke up wrapped in blankets in the room that Dean and you shared. You remembered what you saw at the motel and started crying again. Dean busted through the door franticly running to your side. “Shhh Y/N Shhh. Im here. Im here baby. Shhh.” He was whispering nonsense in your ear again. Eventually you stopped crying but you were still shaking. Dean’s back was against the headboard with your head in his lap. He was rubbing your back with one hand, the other tangled in yours. You couldn’t move. You were basically froze.  You felt like you were being stabbed a million times in the chest. You wanted to cry more but you cried all your tears out. Your best friend was gone and there was nothing you could do about it. After about an hour of laying on Dean you started to get hungry. You and Dean got up and walked to the kitchen.

You sat down at the bar while Dean grabbed the meat from the fridge. He was planned on making you a burger. Sam walked in and placed a hand on your shoulder. You cringed and moved your shoulder. You didn’t blame Sam for what happened but if he wouldn’t had pulled Charlie into the situation then she would still be here. You couldn’t look at him. He should have known better than to have brought Charlie into this. You knew about the plan but you had no part in it except keeping Dean busy.  You begged Charlie to not be apart of it but she didn’t listen. She loved Dean just as much as you and wanted to do anything to save him. You understood it from her side but you just had a feeling something bad would happen. Sam sighed and lowered his head when you pulled away from his touch. It was obvious he felt bad, but he was just trying to help his brother. “How you doing Y/N?” Sam asked. You refused to answer let alone look at him. “Dean I found a case in Nebraska.” Sam turned toward Dean got the bitchface. “Really Sam! Charlie hasn’t even been dead for 24 hours and you already want to go on a case!” Dean paused before speaking again “And plus. I don’t think I can go on a hunt with you for a while.” “Dean!” “That’s enough Sam! You lied to me about the book and Charlie fucking died trying to help you! Its not okay! Now walk out of the kitchen before I punch you in the face!” Sam looked at you hoping you would defend him but it wasn’t happening.

After you ate you went back to your room with the 6 pack and newly opened bottle of whiskey Dean had just bought. You grabbed your book off the side table and started reading. About an hour later there was a knock at your door. “Come in.” It was Castiel. “Y/N im so sorry. I should have watched her more closely. I was chaining Rowena back up in the other room and when I came back she was gone. Im so sorry.” Castiel walked over to hug you and you stood up tears falling from your face once again. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.” You pulled out of the hug “Its okay Cas. I don’t hate you. I hate the fact that my best friend is gone, and I hate the fact that Sam pulled her into this bullshit!” Cas hugged you when you began crying again. “You know, its like he doesn’t even care she is gone. She hasn’t even been gone for a whole day and he is already looking for hunts.” You wiped the tears from your face. “Y/N I know your mad at Sam right now, but you have to think for a second. He loved Charlie just as much as we did, and he hates that she is gone. He is trying to distract himself. He doesn’t want to think about it because the more he thinks about it the more he blames himself. Charlies death is no ones fault. You take all the time you need but your going to have to talk to Sam at some point. You cant ignore him forever.” Cas released you fron his hold and placed his hands on your shoulders. You nodded and walked back over to your book. “And Y/N. Please don’t resort to alcohol please. Charlie wouldn’t have wanted you to do so much damage to yourself.” You nodded again at Cas’s words.  

You didn’t want to talk to Sam. Not yet anyway. After seeing him today you felt so many emotions. Sickness, sadness, rage, stress, and damaged. A few days later Dean and Sam held a funeral for her. It was the usual hunters burial. You cried most of the time clinging to Dean. Your best friend was really gone. There was no way of bringing her back. You had known Charlie your whole life and she lost hers over a book. After burying Charlie you all went back to the bunker. Sam had packed his bags to go on a hunt alone. It was a simple salt and burn case. Dean stayed with you to make sure that you were safe and didn’t do anything stupid. He knew you wouldn’t but he can’t say the thought hasn’t crossed your mind. You thought of making a deal a few times, but you knew that it was better this way. Then Charlie can’t get hurt anymore, and no one can let her down. You knew she was in heaven. Cas told you just to try and lift your spirits and assure you that she was in the best hands. It made you happy for awhile but it didn’t last. It was great that she was in heaven but it would have been better if she was home with you.

2 days later Sam called Dean letting him know that the hunt wasn’t just a salt and burn and that he would be gone a few more days. It wasn’t to much that Sam needed extra help. You were in the library reading a lore book taking sips from the whiskey bottle. Dean walked in and put a hand on your back. “Hey baby. How you feeling?” “Just peachy.” You flipped the page on the book.

“Babe, please talk to me. Please. I hate seeing you like this.”

“And I hate the fact that my best friend isn’t here! I hate crying everyday! I hate drowning my sorrows in alcohol! I hate that there is no way of bringing Charlie back. I hate that Sam even got Charlie involved with this! I hate knowing there is nothing we can do to help you with the mark! I hate fucking everything Dean!” You threw the book across the room knocking a few more books on the floor. You pushed past Dean heading for the garage. You needed to leave the bunker. You grabbed the keys to your car and slammed the door. Half of you hoped Dean would follow you but the other half wished he would just give you some time alone. You were about 5 minutes away from the bunker when you noticed the Impala behind you. You pulled over on the side of the road and Dean pulled behind you. He walked up to your car. “Scoot over.” He said. “Dean its my car.” “I don’t care. Your not in the perfect state of mind to be driving. If you want to go for a drive you still can. But im going to be the one to drive. Not you.” You huffed and scooted over.

Dean and you drove around the Kansas country side for about 2 hours in silence. No sound but the music on the radio. It was nice and relaxing. Dean nudged your shoulder and muttered “Why do you keep everything bottled up?” “I could ask you the same thing.” you answered. Surprisingly Dean didn’t speak after that. He just gripped the steering wheel tighter and floored the gas. It was silent once again all the way to Deans car considering it was still on the side of the road. When you pulled into the bunker garage you went straight to your room. But just as you figured, Dean followed you and closed the door behind him. “That’s it Y/N. You’re going to talk to me whether  you like it or not. I love you to death Y/N. Right now it’s not about me. It’s about you.” Deans face had sunken in from sadness. You hated seeing him like this. “Dean I already told you. I just don’t like talking about it, because then I cry and I see how you look at me when I cry and it breaks my heart more than anything. So I keep it bottled up. You shouldn’t have to worry about my stupid problems.” Dean grabbed your hand holding it in his. “Y/N I care about your problems and feelings more than I care about mine. Yes it hurts me to see you cry because when your upset I want to do anything I possibly can to make you happy but I just freeze.  You lost your best friend. Someone you have known your whole life. That’s hard on a person. I know it is. I lost Charlie too. It hurts. It really does. But my main concern right now is you.” You dropped to your knee’s tears flowing freely from your eyes. “I can’t do it.” You scream. “I cant live this life without her.” Dean fell beside you taking you in his arms tightly whispering comforting nothings in your ear but you couldn’t focus on his words. You knew you needed to let it all out. “I need her Dean. I cant do this. She was my whole life.” You cried in Deans arms for about 45 minutes before limply falling asleep. Dean picked you up and laid you in your bed. He went to his room and changed into a pair of sweats then came back and lied down next to you. He pulled you to his shirtless chest and a wave of warmth ran through your body. This is the most content you’ve felt since losing Charlie.

You woke up with your face buried in Deans chest. You sat there for a while without moving. Listening to the sound of his rhythmic breaths seemed to always calm you down. Soon enough you had got a cramp in your side and decided to get out of bed. You shuffled out of Dean’s arms carefully trying not to wake him. You slipped on a sweatshirt and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. When you entered the kitchen you saw Sam sitting at the table with coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. You stood in the entry way frozen. You hadn’t been around Sam without Dean or Cas around since the incident. But Cas’ words came to your mind “You need to talk to Sam at some point. You cant ignore him forever.” Cas was right. You needed to talk to him. You walked through towards the coffee pot and cleared your throat to make it obvious you were present. Sam didn’t move. You cleared your throat two more times and he still showed no signs of acknowledgment. That’s when you chose to speak, “So when did you get home?” Sam lowered the newspaper and just looked at you. He stared at your for about a minute. “Sam? Are you okay?” “Yeah. Im just trying to figure out why all of a sudden you started talking to me again.” His words hit you like a truck. You didn’t like ignoring him but you were to hurt to talk. “Listen Sam. I know not talking about things isn’t exactly healthy but I do miss talking to you. I didn’t talk to you for so long because I was scared. I didn’t know what the end result would be of us “talking” about it would be so I just kept my mouth shut. But I don’t want to talk about Charlie’s death. I don’t want people always asking me if im okay or anything. My best friend just died so of course im not going to be okay. But I miss you Sam. So fucking much and im sorry. Im sorry for not talking to you, but I just want to put this all in the past and leave it there. If you really care about me, you wont talk about anything with Charlie, or the book, or Rowena or anything like that. I love Dean and I want him the be free of the mark but this book stuff is just to dangerous and I don’t want to lose anyone else that I love anymore.” Sam sat there in shock. “Promise me please.” A stray tear fell down your cheek and you pulled the puppy dog eye’s out. Sam sighed “I promise.” You walked to his side, “Can I have a hug please?” Sam pulled you into the tightest hug ever. After a few seconds you felt another chest on your back and rotated your head to see Dean smiling. “Can we make pancakes now?” His smiled widened enhancing his crows feet. You knew nothing would be sunshine and unicorns after this, and you knew Sam and yours friendship wouldn’t be the same, but you loved the brothers and you were willing to take any kind of friendship with them.  


Ohmygod I’m so late for this! Thank you @wheelsonfire for tagging me and sorry for taking so long!

Rule: Tag 20 people you want to get to know better!

*Nickname: I don’t really have one at the moment

*Gender: Female

*Height: 169 cm last time I checked

*Hogwarts House: Don’t know, probably Hufflepuff when I think about it

*Favourite Colour: Either blue, violet or orange

*Average Hours Of Sleep: 6 - 7 hours

*Lucky Number: Don’t have one, but I like the number 12 so I’ll guess I’ll go with that?

*Last Thing I Googled: “Exerting” definition 

*Favourite Character: My pure boy Alex Edel or my favourite spy Martin Rauch from Deutschland 83 are the first ones to come up at the moment. 

*How many blankets do I sleep with: A duvet, since the Swedish weather is not to be played with

*Favourite Bands/Artists: I would say something really popular and cool, but my Spotify list would tell you something else.

*Dream Job: A dream job would be to not have a job, duhh (although I would love to work with something concerning the french language, communication, or travelling)

*Current Outfit: A shirt my mum had in back the 80s, striped shorts, and white ankle socks

*Following: Mostly personal blogs, Eurovision, language and studyblrs, art and other good stuff

*Do I Get Asks On A Daily Basis: got like one once, and I didn’t even understand it so pLEASE ASK ME STUFF because I’d like to interact with you guys more :)

*Reason For My URL: My blog is my silly little happy place where I should have had positive and motivation stuff that makes me happy but it ended up with mostly memes, lots of memes…

I tag @fanwarrior-of-books @ignazioseyebrows @the-smol-mermaid @dandelionmeadow @lathund @naxinat @pudding98899 @mike-fucking-wazowski @mymindisaprocrastinationstation @theperksofbeingstudying @da-sharpest-crayon-in-da-toolbox @ihearthemcalling @ermonnieisincrediblytired @soldiers-of-larve @cicerofangirl @eurovisionismylife @nothingevencomesclose @lunapetunia @a-second-soul @call-the-emerald