sorry-for-the-shit

some random leverage headcanons:
  • eliot spencer: leap baby. he was born on one of those rare february 29ths rarely seen in the wild and thus only has one real birthday every four years. parker, who had never really thought about the concept of leap babies before this fact about eliot came to light, is HORRIFIED by this, and takes to throwing eliot impromptu makeup birthday “parties.” given that parker spent many years throwing herself birthday “parties,” that word is a loose definition of the happenings at best; usually she takes him to steal something expensive under false pretenses and then yells SURPRISE when he realizes why they’re really there. hardison, on the other hand, is very focused on the fact that eliot’s 40th birthday will technically be his 10th, and goes to great lengths to put together elaborate events that are not remotely appropriate for the grown man eliot actually is. eliot will insist to anyone who will listen that he hates both of these approaches, but everyone knows that he’s lying.
  • once every six months or so eliot has to replace their microwave because parker has put foil inside of it and turned it on. she claims every time that she “forgot” to take it off some food she was reheating, but eliot has replaced like 15 microwaves and never once found anything but foil inside the old ones; he’s pretty sure she just likes blowing the damned things up. he would personally rather just live without a microwave at this point, but hardison point-blank refuses – eliot’s home cooked meals are all well and good, but sometimes a man just needs his hot pockets. 
  •  hardison likes to take long, luxurious showers, but he is 100% convinced that there is something wrong with the hot water in their building, because every now and again, totally randomly, with no correlation to length of shower or time of day or use of other water-based appliances he can figure out (and believe me, he has devoted considerable time to his attempt to do just that), the water will abruptly go ice cold and ruin his whole shower experience. someday soon, he will figure out that the link between these incidents is eliot, standing next to their water heater with a wrench and cackling to himself as hardison shrieks blue murder above him. when that day comes his revenge shall be swift and merciless. 
  •  at some point, parker sees some film or tv show that features the concept of blowing a kiss and makes that squinty-eyed devious face that always makes hardison and eliot exchange a look of concern/borderline terror. shortly after that, it becomes apparent that she’s decided that she can poke their injuries all she likes if she kisses her finger before she does it. this is, of course, very wrong, but they both find it – especially the long suffering face she makes as she does it, as if to say FINE, YOU BIG BABIES, IF YOU WON’T JUST LET ME JAB AT IT LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE ANYMORE – too adorable to correct her (not that either of them, eliot in particular, would admit it). 
  • hardison does, eventually, brew up a batch he calls thief juice. it does weirdly well, eventually becoming a staple on the brewpub’s beer list, though there’s always a steep drop in sales whenever parker starts sneaking up behind people who order it to declare proudly that it’s a mouth crime.
6

AU: Fans first got the idea of Harry’s hate for you through the annoyed looks and nonchalant/sarcastic replies to whenever your name was brought up. But then after you join the band on tour, you and Harry begin to spend more time together and let’s get it clear - you never hated Harry, and it sure took some work but after a while you two were on good terms. Those good terms turned into hand holding and then some kissing even, which photos quickly leaked onto the internet and fans figured it out. Harry went from being clear about his dislike towards you, to blushing whenever your name came up. *requested by anon*

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   Welp, this is fucking crazy. I never thought there would be so many of you? I never even thought I would get this far to be honest, its been one hell of a ride. There has been so much happiness, hatred, joy, sadness – and especially with that big attack post and there has STILL been so much support for me. Even from people I don’t even know or never knew they enjoyed my Zero or me. I wouldn’t be anything without you guys, the people who roleplay with me, follow me, talk to me, who are my best friends or just casual acquaintances or just distant admirers– fatamoirai wouldn’t be anything without you guys. 

   You helped me evolve my style of writing, helped me improve my portrayal and understanding of me character through interaction, questions, and suggestions. All of you are magnificent individuals, and I’m honored to have you with me on Zero’s journey; one I hope to continue even further into the future. I don’t really have the funds to give anything out currently, but I just wanna mention special people and others I admire a lot, on this post. 

Thank you again, so, so much. 

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Doesn’t matter

Prompt:

Summary: To be honest, braces doesn’t seem so bad. I mean, he could still kiss Phil.

Genre: fluff

Warning: swearing bc braces fucking hurt

Words: 771 words                                                            

A/N: okay so I thought of finally doing another prompt (nice) and specifically this bc I had my braces adjusted yesterday and they hURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. Ughghhg I want to express my agony on some way. Btw I didn’t write add smut bc I think I’ve written too much secks these days. I mean, my next fic(which is prolly up in an hour or two) is like, smut, again. Sorry. Also, they are like, teens here fgs. Also sorry if it’s short I can’t really think of a proper plot im a failure so sorry.

The clock ticked on the wall and every tick just brought Dan Howell closer to his death.

Or at least that’s how he worded it.

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I’m really sorry.
I know this is the eighth call I’ve let go to voicemail,
And you’re probably getting sick of the,
‘Leave your name and number, and I’ll call you back!' 
Since it’s obvious that I haven’t done that.
But some days are bad days,
And I can’t always make myself turn off the alarm clock
Let alone answer the phone.
Maybe it’s because I have them set to the same ringtone,
Or maybe it's because they both represent something I’m tired of-
Waking up, and empty conversation.
I can’t always do those things on the bad days.
Usually I make up for it the next day-
When I’m better I get up early,
And call you back right away,
Tell you I had just lost my phone, 
But that now it was okay. 
Only, it’s been a few weeks this time,
And I still haven’t found the energy for that.
It’s been a bad day,
Over, and over, and over.
And I keep telling myself that it will pass,
And that I’ll try again tomorrow,
But I’m starting to become afraid,
That maybe this is my new normal.
—  Bad Days

hey so it seems that lately a lot of people (myself included) have been havin a really hard time with life in general– this time of year seems really shitty for a lot of us folks with depression and such, and i’ve been strugglin realllyyyyy hard to do things like get out of bed and take care of myself and stuff. but i’m still here, and so are u if you’re reading this, so good job to us.

hooray for continued existence even when it feels horrible and unfathomable and our difficulties seem impossible to overcome. really truly sometimes just getting through a day and choosing to keep living is a hard thing to do, and is in itself an accomplishment, and you did it. good job, us.

keep on keepin on, friends. i’m glad u exist. we’re all in this together.

Alive (pre-Cullen/Trevelyan)

For trulycertain‘s prompt: Non-established relationship. Quiz hears Cullen has “died” (misheard/misread message, red templar misinformation?) and her utter freakout reaction reveals to her party how she feels about him (they hadn’t really suspected). They get back to Skyhold and he is very much alive, but things are now… awkward with her party. What’s the fallout? Matchmaking? Confessions? She manages to hide it?

The red templars really had to learn to hide their reports better. Esther smirked as she spied a scroll tucked partially out of view on a makeshift desk. It was almost insulting how little they regarded the Inquisition as threats, or perhaps how little they thought of her intelligence.

It seemed to be a report of some sort, and she nearly tucked it aside to be brought back to Skyhold for perusal before Cullen’s name caught her attention.

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