sorry this is going to be the only thing i talk about for 27 years

Masterlist 2.0

Since I did something wrong and I can’t seem to fix it (I can’t add new things to my masterlist), I’ve created a new masterlist.
I’m sorry for the inconvenience, this isn’t fun for me either :(

** = sexual content 
* = contains references of sexual content 

Happy reading!

Harry Styles
#1 But I bet you if they only knew part 1**, part 2**, part 3
#2 The wolves come out
#3 Listen to me for once
#4 Loaded gun **
#5 Something to talk about when we’re older**
#6 Feeling better?
#7 Faking it*
#8 You already had me with that bucket of ice cream
#9 Going under
#10 Love you, goodbye *
#11 Family Portrait
#12 Thank you part 1, part 2
#13 She said she’d never forget part 1, part 2
#14 Give in tonight **
#15 I want **
#16 Feverishly protective
#17 No other place
#18 A.M.  part 1**, part 2, part 3
#19 Taken ** (Niall smut), Taken 2 ** (Harry smut)
#20 Unfaithful part 1, part 2* part 3
#21 Well, if you don’t have anything else planned..
#22 Secret Love part 1, part 2
#23 Sparkling Green **
#24 Pillow Talk
#25 A little teasing
#26 One long car ride **
#27 Yes or No?
#28 A hard day
#29 Blowing out your candles **
#30 Not a Halloween party
#31 Let’s take a break part 1* ,part 2*
#32 Not done with you*
#33 Blind date part 1, part 2
#34 Just what I need part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6* part 7** part 8
#35 This isn’t so bad
#36 Last call**
#37 Bow ties and Blowjobs part 1** part 2**
#38 BBQ and Sangria part 1 part 2
#39 Lucky night**
#40 A warm hello*
#41 Shirts
#42 Treat you better
#43 Fireworks
#44 Say that again*
#45 Sweet creature
#46 Meet me in the hallway
#47 Kiwi*
#48 Apologies
#49 Maybe one day*
#50 Maybe I do
#51 Surprising Secret**

Louis Tomlinson
#1 There is nobody else

Calum Hood
#1 Dripping wet part 1** part 2**
#2 Aftershow
#3 00:06 AM**
#4 Tumblr**
#5 Support*
#6 Just  Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7** Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18* Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22**
#7 Neighbours part 1**, part 2**
#8 Grow a pair**
#9 Pledging part 1 part 2**
#10 Jealousy **
#11 Two Worlds (Halloween theme)
#12 Marry her anyway (Calum’s POV)
#13 Second chances (Halloween theme)
#14 All I wanted part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10**, part 11*, part 12*, part 13, part 14, part 15**, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 23, part 24, part 25, part 26, part 27**, part 28, part 29, part 30
#15 Halloween Horror Nights
#16 Another go **
#17 Party of the year
#18 Shabby Sandcastles part 1, part 2
#19 Bachelorettes
#20 Do you love me?
#21 Something tells me
#22 Morning

Michael Clifford
#1 Hold your breath*

Ashton Irwin
#1 S.O.S.          
                          Part 1
                          Part 2
                          Part 3
                          Part 4
                          Part 5

More to come soon!
Lots of love,
L. xox

10

I. Am. Absolutely. Disgusted.

A dear follower of mine pointed me in the direction of the Instagram post of Mark kissing Amy’s cheek, and told me to read the comments. What I was met with was absolutely appalling. It was a fine mixture of delusions of grandeur, inability to assess real life from fiction, and just a bunch of hate for Amy.

First of all, let’s talk about what I like to call the “Delusions of Grandeur,” or “Mark should be dating me!!”
No. He should not be dating you. Most everyone who writes these posts is 12 or below, and seem to think that they are 20-something, pretty, smart, and funny enough to be with Mark, and that by watching his videos, he is rightfully theirs. No. He is not yours. First off, he can’t date you because there are laws to stop 27 year olds dating 12 year olds. Second off, he does not owe you anything. He makes videos, you watch them, it’s all jolly good. But when you start thinking that he owes you anything, you’re 100% wrong. You are not a true fan if you really, desperately believe that Mark should be dating you.

Second of all, inability to assess real life from fiction, or, the dreaded Septiplier shippers. Sorry folks, but this ship is exactly why people started going against people shipping real people. The shippers start to lose hold on reality and start thinking that Septiplier is real, and that anyone who goes against their precious OTP needs to be killed. Well, listen. We’re in the real world here, and in the real world, Mark and Jack are both straight, and both have girlfriends. Your inability to understand a small joke between friends has basically driven them apart, by the way, so I really thank you for that.

Finally, I’d just like to say, that anyone who spreads hate in the Markiplier or Jacksepticeye community is no longer a part of it. They’ve been saying that from the beginning. So, your little hate rants against their girlfriends is not only disgusting, but excludes you from the fandom. Any rude or derogatory language towards Amy and Signe excludes you from the fandom. If you loved Mark and Jack that much, would you really be saying such things about the ones they love?

episode two :: Yuri realizes, suddenly and terribly, he might be a little bit in love.  


Victor doesn’t even try to go to sleep.  He just lays in bed with his laptop, watching the thirty-seven takes of Yuuri trying to get “hi, I’m Yuuri Katsuki, and I’m the Bachelor” out of his mouth.

Don’t they know who I am?” Yuuri slurs on screen.  

Yuuri, you have to put the champagne bottle down, you have to pretend to be sober,” Phichit says off camera, all authority gone from his voice.  He’s trying not to laugh.

Phichit,” Yuuri says, and he takes a big swig from the bottle, bubbles pouring down both sides of his lips. “You can’t tell me what to do.  I’m Yuuri Katsuki, and I’m the motherfucking Bachelor.

Keep reading

101 Writing Prompts

1. “I didn’t know you two were related.” “We didn’t either.”

2. “I’m not saying I’m gay, but I would be if they were asking.”

3. “I’ve tried my hardest to fall for you, but it’ll always be them.”

4. “I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before.”

5. “I didn’t even want to come to this party. You lied to me about the pinata.”

6. “Spin the bottle is such a cliché. I’m in.”

7. “I have to go in there with you? I didn’t sign up to play 7 minutes in hell .”

8. “That’s not how you pronounce my name and I’m not even sure you tried.”

9. “Are you new here?” “We’ve been in the same math class for six years.”

10. “You really shouldn’t touch that… I told you.”

11. “I recognise you. Do you have a dog.”

12. “ You’ve never seen Harry Potter?

13. “Can’t we just lay here for a minute?”

14. “We have to stop running into each other like this.”

15. “Is it weird if I say that your dad’s really hot?”

16. “I know it’s 2am but can we meet up?”

17. “I don’t know how we ended up sleeping together but I know I’m mad about it.”

18. “Whatever you do, just don’t tell anybody!”

19. “I don’t come here often, it brings back unwanted memories.”

20. “They told me I’d forget about you; that I’d move on but it’s been three years and here I am.”

21. “I’ve waited so long for this moment, but now it’s here I don’t know how to feel.”

22. “You can’t just say that and then disappear!”

23. “I always hear my neighbour playing this beautiful music, but I’ve never actually met them.”

24. “Would it be alright if I pet your dog?”

25. “I’m so sorry to bother you this late but an owl got in my house and I have no idea how to get it out.”

26. “We can’t call the police! They’ll never believe us!”

27. “Why are you buying plane tickets? Are you leaving?”

28. “I swear I’ve seen them before in a dream.”

29. “I don’t want to be your partner either but we have to get this assignment done.”

30. “I never hated you, you just make me feel things I don’t understand.”

31. “It’s your fault, and I don’t think this is something you can fix.”

32. “This isn’t easy for me either.”

33. “I would never do this to you if I didn’t have to. You know that, right?”

34. “Can you at least promise me that?” “I don’t think I can, not this time.”

35. “I’m sorry but it’s very hard to focus when you’re dressed like that.”

36. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard to you want me to hit you?”

37. “I’d be scared if I were you.”

38. “You can’t go in there alone .”

39. “This seems like a lot of effort to go to for a mediocre joke.”

40. “Delete that picture right now or Mr.Snuggles gets it!”

41. “You didn’t go through my photos did you?!”

42. “Uhhh, I went through your photos and I have some questions.”

43. “I swear to god, if you tag me in one more bad meme I’ll make you regret it.”

44. “I really want to kiss you right now. I know I shouldn’t, and somehow that makes me want it more.”

45. “You have individual ringtones for everyone? What’s mine?”

46. “ Why wouldn’t you lock the door?

47. “Did you know kissing burns calories?” “I’m happy with my weight, thanks.”

48. “Your bad pickup lines aren’t cute, they’re just bad.”

49. “I’ll give you fifty bucks if I can take you to Christmas dinner and tell my family we’re together. They always ask if I’m dating and I can’t have that conversation again.”

50. “I don’t think you’re ever too old for trick-or-treating.”

51. “We’re dressing up for Halloween this year and that’s final.”

52. “I forgot what we were fighting about in the first place.” “I didn’t.”

53. “Fuck you.” “Not with that attitude.”

54. “90% of people admit to having at least a slight bondage kink, and 10% are lying about it.”

55. “I don’t understand why you won’t just use a map on your phone.”

56. “You know my house has a door? You don’t always have to use the window.”

57. “The truth is, my friends dared me to ask you out, but I’m really glad they did.”

58. “You know, I was joking in that birthday card when I said I’d help you hide a body.”

59. “Can we please turn off this song.” “But it’s a masterpiece .”

60. “I’ve known you for two years and I think I’ve been saying your name wrong the whole time.”

61. “Wow, you really are blind!” “Thanks for the update, can I have my glasses back now?”

62. “It might be petty but you borrowed my pencil three weeks ago and I’m gonna need it back.”

63. “I think they have a crush on you, which sucks because I’m kinda into them.”

64. “Just go and talk to them, they dont bite!” “What if biting turns me on? If they dont do it then what’s the point?”

65. “You can’t say that in front of children!”

67. “Seven years old is practically an adult.”

68. “Dude I ordered this on eBay and you have to see what they sent me.”

69. “I didn’t realise it meant so much to you.”

70. “I wish I was sorry, but I don’t regret any of it.”

71. “My friend thinks you’re cute, personally I don’t get it but this isn’t about me right now.”

72. “Not everything is about you!” “Untrue.”

73. “You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.”

74. “This is why I hate family dinners! It always gets awkward.”

75. “This can only end two ways and neither of them are pretty.”

76. “Not everything can be butterflies and rainbows! Things get hard sometimes, that’s just how it is!”

77. “My mom told me I shouldn’t talk to strangers, and you’re definitely strange.”

78. “I can’t believe you fell asleep when I was showing you my favourite movie of all time.”

79. “You shouldn’t be out here alone, it’s dangerous.”

80. “I could lie here with you forever. I wish I didnt have to leave.”

81. “Everything’s changing and I hate it! I liked the way things were.”

82. “You look so incredible, if that didn’t look so good on you I’d probably tear it off.”

83. “Do you think they noticed that we left?”

84. “The funny thing is, you could have fixed this and you didn’t even try.”

85. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? I’m only asking because it hurt when I did and I thought I might have done it wrong.”

86. “That was super cheesy and I’m lactose intolerant.”

87. “You didn’t tell me you were gay!” “You didn’t tell me you weren’t.”

88. “Your friend told me you had a crush on me, I just wanted to let you know your friend is a snake.”

89. “Are you staring at me or are you staring past me?”

90. “If you we’re a guy/girl would you go out with me?” “I am a guy/girl.”

91. “Sounds stupid. When are we doing it?”

92. “Can we tell my parents that I’m at your house, just incase they get suspicious?”

93. “This is the part in the movie where we kiss or one of us dies. My fingers are crossed for option one.” “Speak for yourself.”

94. “I’m offended that you don’t have more faith in me but, honestly, it’s understandable given past experience.”

95. “Its just a blind date! What’s the worst that could happen?” “I could literally die.”

96. “I would light myself on fire to keep you warm and you wouldn’t even hand me a coat if I were freezing.”

97. “I trusted you, and so I guess I should have seen this coming.”

98. “I had a really weird sex dream about you and I’m not sure how I feel about it, honestly.”

99. “Okay, but this is the last time I bail you out!”

100. “All I know is that if you don’t tell me to stop I’m going to kiss you.”

101. “I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with you, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That’s me! - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don’t waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it’ll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! - That girl was hot. - She’s my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we’re all cousins. - Right. You’re right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? - Well, there’s a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You’re gonna be a stirrer? - No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. - We’re starting work today! - Today’s the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What’d you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I’m going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That’s awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let’s move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It’s got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? That’s pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama’s little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don’t think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you’re about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There’s a bee in the car! - Do something! - I’m driving! - Hi, bee. - He’s back here! He’s going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What’s number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don’t go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them. They’re out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say. There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. I don’t remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don’t kill him! You know I’m allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I’m not scared of him. It’s an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It’s a bee law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can’t. How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m sorry. - You’re talking. - Yes, I know. You’re talking! I’m so sorry. No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I know I’m dreaming. But I don’t recall going to bed. Well, I’m sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a bee! I am. And I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn’t for you… I had to thank you. It’s just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I’m talking with a bee. - Yeah. I’m talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I’m grateful. I’ll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up. - That’s very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something? - Like what? I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know. Ooffee? I don’t want to put you out. It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It’s just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don’t be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn’t. - Have some. - No, I can’t. - Oome on! I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don’t help. You look great! I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a bee joke? That’s the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There’s my hive right there. See it? You’re in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It’s like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I’ll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it’s no trouble. Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I’ll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly work. He’s all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don’t. - How’d you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your “experience.” Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I’m not attracted to spiders. I know it’s the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. So who is she? She’s… human. No, no. That’s a bee law. You wouldn’t break a bee law. - Her name’s Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She’s so nice. And she’s a florist! Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist! We’re not dating. You’re flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin’ stripey! And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He’s in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It’s been three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You’re barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I’m talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I’ll catch up. Don’t be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We’re still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don’t listen! I’m not listening to this. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. - Where are you going? - I’m meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? Bye. I just hope she’s Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? It’s faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane! You don’t have that? We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It’s a bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You’ve really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I’ll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don’t have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It’s organic. - It’s our-ganic! It’s just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom of this. I’m getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I’ll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You’re busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you’ll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You’re too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You’re not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I’m going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I’m Oarl Kasell. But don’t kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they’re getting it. I mean, that honey’s ours. - Bees hang tight. - We’re all jammed in. It’s a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you’re out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood’s about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I’d catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee’s got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. “They make the honey, and we make the money”? Oh, my! What’s going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn’t last too long. Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That’s a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He’s been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it’s true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That’s a killer. There’s only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble. - And I’m Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we’ll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, “I’m a kid from the hive. I can’t do this”? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It’s a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. Honey, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I’m helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we’re really busy working. But it’s our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you’re three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty! It’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It’s pretty big, isn’t it? I can’t believe how many humans don’t work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What’s the matter? - I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson… you’re representing all the bees of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. Honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we’re the little guys! I’m hoping that, after this is all over, you’ll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he’d dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don’t imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn’t hear you. - No. - No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They’re very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How’d you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that’s enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you’ve never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven’t. No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I’m feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That’s not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that’s ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn’t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You’re all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury’s on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I’m a florist. Right. Well, here’s to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn’t think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There’s a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. The ball’s a little grabby. That’s where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I’m going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. - What’s that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I’ve got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You’re bluffing. - Am I? Surf’s up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! We need to talk! He’s just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I’m sorry about all that. I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he’s considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you’ve gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it’s gonna be all over. Don’t worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We’re friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn’t your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren’t your real parents! - Oh, Barry… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you, Benson? He’s denouncing bees! Don’t y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I’m going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Oh, I’m hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can’t feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re alive. You could have died. I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can’t explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don’t know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. That’s it! That’s our case! It is? It’s not over? Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don’t make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. But you can’t! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It’s a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, “Smoking or non?” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He’s playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I’m OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You’ll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery’s right? - What do you mean? We’ve been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We’re all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He’ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it’s just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan’t breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We’ve never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We’re shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What’s going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They’re home. They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can’t. I don’t understand why they’re not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing. Honey really changes people. You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They’re all wilting. Doesn’t look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I’m gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn’t think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It’s notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That’s our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I’ll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That’s why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I’ve ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I’ve made it worse. Actually, it’s completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it’s greater than my previous ideas combined. I don’t want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It’s real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I’m the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I’m getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there’s no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It’s part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It’s got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we’ll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I’m in a real situation. - What’d you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don’t freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! - Who’s an attorney? Don’t move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One’s bald, one’s in a boat, they’re both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one’s flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What’s your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I’m a florist from New York. Where’s the pilot? He’s unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who’s that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. I can’t fly a plane. - Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We’re headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That’s Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There’s a bee on that plane. I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They’ve done enough damage. But isn’t he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven’t we heard this a million times? “The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense.” - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We’re going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to working together. That’s the bee way! We’re not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we’re not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don’t have to yell. I’m not yelling! We’re in a lot of trouble. It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! I can’t do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it’s my turn. How is the plane flying? I don’t know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let’s drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. - What? - I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We’re going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I’m aiming at the flower! That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This’s the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We’re bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You’ve earned this. Yeah! I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I’m sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You’re a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let’s just stop for a second. Hold it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.Can we stop here? I’m not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that
—  The Bee Movie
Prompt List

Random prompts that I gathered from other various lists over the years. Feel free to leave a request!


1. I don’t even know. who I am without you.
2. The way you flirt is just shameful.
3. I’m flirting with you.
4. You don’t need to protect me.
5. You can’t even look at me!
6. Stop looking at me like that!
7. You make a good pillow.
8. Does he know about the baby?
9. I had a nightmare about you and I wanted to make sure you were okay.
10. All I wanted was the truth.
11. Why are you pushing me away?
12. didn’t realize I needed your permission.
13. I can’t believe you talked me into this.
14. Nobody can trust me to do anything important!
15. I fall for the worst ones.
16. You make me feel like I’m not good enough.
17. Come over here and make me.
18. Stop thinking about him/her/them.
19. You’re beautiful/handsome, and I’m not the only one that thinks that.
20. I need your forgiveness.
21. If you don’t rest, you won’t heal.
22. You’re the only one I can trust.
23. Kiss me.
24. I love you.
25. I told you not to fall in love with me.
26. I forgive a lot, but I never forget what’s said and done.
27. Please shut up. I can’t stand how appealing your voice is.
28. Shut up. Just shut up.
29. Again?
30. I’ve been in love with you my entire life.
31. I’m tired of being your secret.
32. You know,it’s okay to cry.
33. I think we should have another.
34. Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?
35. Go on,tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.
36. You can’t leave me in the dark. You have to tell me these things.
37. Twins? We’re…we’re having twins?!
38. If he’s going to treat you like shit I’m going to kick his ass.
39. I just want to be alone right now.
40. Those things you said yesterday did you mean them?
41. You haven’t even touched. you food. 42. What’s going on?
43. If you don’t want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don’t lie and say it’s fine.
44. Sometimes, there is nothing better than some good old-fashioned, no string attached fucking.
45. Stay in bed.
46. Stop laughing at me.
47. Just say that it is okay. I just need to hear you say it.
48. I love you and I am terrified.
49. Why does it hurt so much?
50. I can’t promise you that…
51. Promise me you will come back…I need you to promise me.
52. I missed you.
53. Do you trust me?
54. Don’t look at me like that.
55. You’re the most amazing, incredible, beautiful being I’ve ever met.
56. I’ll find her and bring her home, I promise.
57. You embarrassed me this evening.
58. I couldn’t do it…one look in their eyes and I knew I couldn’t kill them. For that I am sorry.
59. Did you enjoy yourself last night?
60. I am not losing you again.
61. Why don’t they just kiss already?
62. You know, it hurt when I realized that you’re not in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with her.
63. I am different now.
64. You left without saying goodbye…I hate you for that.
65. I loved you and then you were gone…and I knew I lost you.
66. None of that matters now.
67. Please say something.
68. I shouldn’t have come.
69. It was a mistake coming here.
70. You hate me and I do not know why!!
71. Take your fill.
72. Is that a challenge?
73. What the hell was that?!
74. Mind if I cut in?
75. Did I stutter?
76. Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?
77. Why are you covered in mud?
78. I can’t…I can’t lose you.
79. You’ll be the death of me.
80. Come back to bed.
81. You are so tiny compared to me.
82. Can I kiss you?
83. Bring your pretty little butt over here.
84. Why are you dressed like that?
85. You deserve so much better.
86. You have the most amazing eyes.
87. You know, it’s okay to cry.
88. That’s distracting.
89. That isn’t appropriate.
90. Is it possible to love too much?
91. Promise me you’ll look after your father.
92. How long has it been?
93. This relationship used to be all about communication! What ever happened to that?
94. If you walk out that door, you’re no longer one of us. You’ll be one of them and that means I’ll treat you like one of them.
95. I left everything for this, I left it all…for you!
96. Look at me—just breathe, okay?
97. I’m sick of being USELESS!
98. I almost lost you.
99. I wish I could hate you.
100. Tell me a secret.
101. No one needs to know.
102. I don’t want to have a baby!
103. Did you enjoy yourself last night?
104. Are you kidding me? We are not fine!
105. You’ve only heard his side of the story. You never asked for mine.
106. Well, this is where I live.
107. You make me feel like I’m not good enough.
108. For some reason I’m attracted to you.
109. I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.
110. All I wanted was you honesty.
111. Why do you keep pushing me away?
112. I can’t explain it right now, but I need you to trust me.
113. I’ve never felt this way before…and it scares out of me.
114. Don’t fucking touch me!
115. Are you really taking his side against me?
116. Wait a second are you jealous?
117. I wish I could hate you.
118. I’m sorry if this upsets you, but I’m going to marry him/her.
119. This is by far the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of coarse I’m in.
120. You’re the only one I can trust to do this.
121. I thought you were dead.
122. This isn’t about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.
123. I love you, you asshole.
124. You did this for me?
125. You can’t protect me.
126. You know I wouldn’t do this if I had any other choice.
127. Promise me you’ll look after your mom.
128. I’m so stupid to make mistake of falling in love with my best friend.
129. Stop talking about the past, I could be dead in a matter of hours…make me up a future.
130. The way you flirt is just shameful.
131. I waited and waited, but you never came back.
132. You never told me you had a fucking twin.
133. I want to go back to before…
134. I just wanted and easy day with me girlfriend/boyfriend. What’s so wrong with that?
135. Go then, leave! See if I care!
136. Why are you up so early?
137. Please,take me instead!
138. You braided his hair?
139. She’s been missing since Friday and you’re not worried.
140. Have you lost you damn mind?!
141. Please. don’t argue. You have to leave right now, you aren’t safe here.
142. I’m your daughter.
143. I’m not surprised that you murdered him.
144. Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?
145. Am I supposed to be scared of you?
146. Don’t use me as an example. I wasn’t a good kid.
147. I can’t say I see how I’m supposed to love you more than I already do.
148. I know you’ve given me a million second chances and I’ll never take you for granted.
149. Everything that doesn’t make sense about me, makes sense when I’m with you.
150. You need to tell me what you need me to be.
151. I always want to come home to you.
152. Even after all this time, I’m still a fool for you.
153. Cause words don’t make what I make with you.
154. I love you…just not in that way.
155. You are my first choice.
156. Will you still love me in the morning?
157. You were the worst thing that happened to me.
158. I finally have the strength to leave, and I am.
159. I just feel like you don’t love me anymore.
160. I can’t go on this way.
161. Who is it? Who are you seeing behind my back?
162. I love you too much to watch you leave me slowly.
163. Don’t you dare die on me.
164. The car crash took your life but the funeral took mine.
165. I miss you and I miss her.
166. Things just aren’t the same.
167. I’m glad I’m leaving.
168. You never saw my bags be packed, but you sure saw them in the living room before I left.
169. I can’t breathe in your arms anymore.
170. Our love isn’t love anymore.
171. It’s hard to resist a bad boy who’s a good man.
172. If you’re looking for the full deal, the till-death deal, then look at me. No one’s ever going to love you, stick by you, understand how you work the way I do.
173. The wounded recognized the wounded.
174. What I wanted. I wanted you to fight for me. I wanted you to say there’s no one else you could ever be with, and that you’d rather be alone than without me.
175. I am not pushing you away I’m holding on for dear life but I need you to need me back.
176. Why won’t you ever just let me all the way in?
177. You’re the moon of my life, that’s all I need to know and if this is a dream I will kill the man that tries to wake me.
178. I don’t want to get over her, I want to be with her.
179. Oh I’m sorry did my back hurt your knife?
180. Sometimes I think that we waste our words and we waste our moments. And we don’t take the time to say the things that are in our hearts when we have the chance.
181. I’m afraid this conversation is going to end in goodbye.
182. Don’t say you love me unless you really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it.
183. I love you. I am in love with you. I have tried to kill it to runaway from it but I can’t and I don’t want to anymore.
184. Don’t act like I didn’t fight for you. I did.Hard. And for a long time. So forgive me if now that we’re over I’m exhausted.
185. Maybe I’m just supposed to let you go now, but I can’t. Because I can’t lose everything I have all at once.
186. I waited. I was here. Where were you?
187. I’m not leaving here without you.
188. Pick me. Choose me. Love me.
189. Don’t you give up on me now; we’ve come to far and I love you way too much to lose you now.
190. Someone told me once that to create true art you must be willing to bleed and let others watch.
191. I promised myself that if you came home I wouldn’t be afraid to tell you how I felt. But I’m still afraid. Because I can’t make you love me back.
192. I want your body. I want your mouth. I want your laugh and your funny faces. I want your friendship and your inspirational thoughts. And I want you to come with me when I go.
193. I have waited so long for you to want me. If you don’t hold me tight I won’t believe you mean it, and that’s worse than never being held at all.
194. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
195. Please don’t leave me. Everyone always leaves.
196. Here, let me see.
197. Don’t look down.
198. I’m sorry I yelled at you…
199. Will you just hold still?
200. This isn’t just about you…
201. What’s behind your back.
202. When you’re happy, I’m happy.
203. I wish this moment could last forever…
204. There’s a leaf in your hair.
205. I think I twisted my ankle…
206. Why are you giving me such a hard time about this?
207. Look into my eyes what do you see?
208. Of course you’d believe that.
209. Your hands are so much larger than mine.
210. Shh, they’ll hear us.
211. It doesn’t look like you’ll need stitches.
212. Remember when you used to care?
213. Why didn’t you text me back?
214. Will you just tell me the truth?
215. You’re too damn cute.
216. Why are you laughing?
217. That stuff can’t be good for you.
218. This will only take a second…
219. Don’t look at me like that!
220. This tastes bitter.
221. Your think you could do better?
222. Isn’t this a gorgeous view?
223. You’ve been so selfish lately!
224. Anything but that!
225. Why did you think that was a good idea?
226. Stop it, you’re embarrassing me.
227. You’re eyes are red…were you crying?
228. We’re running low on time here.
229. You’ve got something on your cheek.
230. If I could just get you to understand…
231. Don’t move,it’ll be okay.
232. Hey, don’t raise your voice at me!
233. Let’s take a deep breath.
234. Come on, it wasn’t that bad.
235. You call that music?
236. Damn auto-correct!
237. You can’t have it both ways.
238. I’ve made a huge mistake.
239. Don’t worry about it, everyone screws up.
240. You can’t do that!
241. If you love it so much, then why don’t you marry it?
242. We go on three…
243. I’m not bothering you am I?
244. I didn’t know you could do that.
245. I forgot you used to like this stuff.
246. It wouldn’t be the first time you broke a promise.
247. You know how I feel about birthdays.
248. You can’t ask me to do that.
249. Oh, you scared me!
250. You’re jealous, aren’t you.
251. You really…that’s not exactly meant to be eaten.
252. This is my favorite song!
253. You’re so drunk.
254. It doesn’t matter, I’m not leaving you.
255. It’s just that…well my favorite character just died,
256. Don’t be stupid.
257. Of coarse I love you.
258. Don’t you ever do that again!
259. Have you ever thought 260. about…like…us?
260. If we die, I’m going to kill you.
261. I can’t believe you’d do something like this!
262. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.
263. You’re my favorite muse.
264. Don’t worry about it, I got it.
265. I promise, it’s just this once.
266. You owe me.
267. What, you’re scared I’ll kick you ass again?
268. Is that my shirt?
269. Wanna go for a drive?
270. You’ve got to be kidding me!
271. Fancy meeting you here.
272. You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into, do you?
273. Well this is awkward.
274. Give it back!
275. Do you think you could just please go one day without pissing me off?
276. Why are you crying?
277. Just this once, okay?
278. You’re really soft.
279. Is it possible to love too much?
280. I’ll always be there to protect you.
281. The stars look especially lovely tonight.
282. May I have this dance?
283. I can’t stop thinking about you.
284. All I want is you.
285. You look incredible in that.
286. Sometimes I just can’t control myself around you.
287. Do you believe in love at first sight?
288. I think I’m in love.
289. I’d like if you stayed.
290. I have never felt this way about anyone.
291. Can I kiss you?
292. I waxed the floors, grab your fluffy sox.
293. My parents are coming over in ten minutes so please put your clothes on.
294. I’m really drunk, please help me.
295. This is probably a bad time, but marry me?
296. We’ve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about.
297. I think you might be pregnant.
298. Shh…I’m sleeping.
299. Why wasn’t I invited to your wedding?

anonymous asked:

sooo i don't really have a question but i would like an analysis of the new amazingphil video if you have one,, or just your favorite moments, idk i just want you to talk about it, i love your "reviews"

hahaha of course i’ll talk about it!!!!! it’s interesting bc when i first watched this i was actually like not that into it??? it just felt like 10 very calm and chill mins of dnp hanging out which is obviously great but i think i was sort of distracted so i was like mmmm it wasn’t as entertaining as their usual collabs, esp bc on first watch i was like, dan keeps going for these weird dark jokes about torture n maiming and it’s all v Standard Fare but then i thought about it more and realized ,, if this isn’t the biggest evidence yet about how far they’ve come and evolved since last year then idk what is??? like i just can’t believe it’s gotten to the point where i could watch 10 minutes of dan softly playing around with phil’s hair and both of them being a bit calmer and more muted in front of the camera, freely touching each other and joking around about more Mature Themes (hats off to the dildo joke and the “safety word” bit) and have all of that feel completely STANDARD and unsurprising!!! it’s just crazy to me that they’ve normalized these behaviors so much that a video like this could feel so completely expected and ~chill~ 

but then i watched it a second and third time (bc duh) when i was less distracted and there really were so many little moments that stood out to me and so many cute smiles and soft lil jokes that made me wanna melt and it was all just so good. it’s nowhere near their funniest or most captivating video but it’s just vv vv v v soft and chill and natural. when comparing it to something like pastel edits which is probs a close parallel in terms of them playing dress up and touching each other a bit in direct response to a fan request, you can see how this one is far softer and a little bit less performed–they seem less ‘on’ for lack of a better term, and a lot more laid back, dan doesn’t spend as much time demeaning the idea or teasing the fan base for wanting it, and all of it is just so enjoyable to watch. i’ve included (way too many) timestamps below (plus way too many screenshots, as usual, of stupidly cute moments ugh): 

  • 5 seconds in this is already alarmingly cute w dan grumbling behind the pillow that phil wants to give him a creative nickname and phil giggling and looking down at him when he starts complaining
  • :17 dan gives phil permission to just call him dan and phil looks cute n happy about it
  • :27 dan needs to reiterate he was a nerd in school
  • :34 ‘japes’ k dan
  • :48 i live for the way phil looks so earnest and excited when he asks dan why he decided to ‘embrace the curls’ like he genuinely wants to hear dan explain this .. phil is genuinely obsessed w dan’s curls he wasn’t lyin when he said that in the pastel edits vid :(
  • 1:00 i hope phil was the one who chose that photo as an example of dan’s hair looking good in a pic,, phil thinks dan’s best look is his crunchy 2013 leather jacket n his scoop neck t shirt … #confirmed
  • 1:10 ‘you’ve left me alone!’ calm down phil he’s right next to u
  • 1:12 did phil pick that photo too ..  the one of dan in his tank top n hair straightened to within an inch of its life and silvery earrings making a pouty face ,,, lmao i love that he’s picking the cringiest emo-est throwbacks possible
  • 1:54 phil’s like ‘i thought we could eat 400 crusts to see if my hair goes curly’ and it’s altogether a lame joke but dan is staring at him like he’s the most beautiful person on earth. i’d be uncomfortable if i wasn’t so busy melting. then phil stares at dan giggling and it’s all a bit much for me
  • 2:41 ‘what’d happen if i balded you right now?’ dan is so concerned for phil’s well-being that he forgets how to grammar
  • 2:45 the fuckin dildo joke i s2g why are they making sly references to dildos in a g-rated hair curling video why did phil immediately follow dan saying ‘that looks like something else’ by going ‘ooo’ and shoving the curler near dan’s mouth why are they gross
  • 3:21 dan unnecessarily rubbing the curler all over phil’s shoulder and neck … ok
  • 3:41 phil sounds so serious when he asks dan if he thinks the curly hair will suit him, like he really needs dan’s Hot Take on this important issue but dan’s just shuts him down hahaha. i feel like this is reminiscent of the faceapp vid in which dan was completely NOT DOWN with any alteration to phil’s appearance whatsoever bc (vom) he thinks phil is perf jst the way he is (i might actually be sick) 
  • 3:47 idk why but i’m obsessed w phil saying ‘dan, don’t mess about with it’ and dan responding ‘i’m nOT’ in his whiny voice w his eyes all wide. cute
  • 3:56 lmao dan bringing up babuse (i can’t type that without thinking of ‘let me see that babussy’ i hate the fucking internet) and saying it was the last time he was on this bed, i am living for these bants and also phil’s expression of mock horror
  • 4:08 ‘curl me up, bess’
  • 4:11 dan’s going for ‘teen nick jonas but without the face’ his crush is going strong i see,, and then he can’t even follow through and tell phil his face doesn’t compare to nick jonas’s so he turns it into a joke about burning his face instead, nice save bro
  • 4:27 THIS KILLED ME THEYRE JST TALKING N DAN JUST BRUSHES ASIDE A BIT OF PHILS FRINGE FOR NO REASON AT ALL HE JST WANTS TO PLAY W HIS HAIR ITS CUTE N IM DYIN
  • 5:01 something about this bit when dan’s like ‘got a whole clump it’s undignified’ and their proximity, the way their arms are sort of pressed together and it looks like dan could be resting his hand on phil’s leg and dan is also sort of just looking down at phil ,,, Good
  • 5:08 when phil kinda squeaks and pulls away all of a sudden i feel like dan is legit actually concerned he could burn phil as evidenced by his voice going all high pitched when he’s like ‘you can’t do that!!!!’
  • 5:13 more completely unnecessary dan playing around w phil’s fringe n brushing it away. it goes on for like 8 seconds plus there’s a jump cut in the middle of it lmao,,, ugh the way he touches phil’s hair is so soft it makes me feel things
  • 5:32 ‘gonna pork you up phil’ does dan know the meaning of ‘pork’ as a verb ??  ? ? ??? ??????  for reference:
  • 5:36 ‘my life is flashing before my eyes’ ‘ooo is it really boring’ dan is showing yet again that he flirts like a five year old who pulls their crush’s pigtails in the playground grOW UP MATE. phil loves it tho
  • 6:03 omg idk why but i LOVED phil saying ‘i’m finding you so disturbing right now’ it feels so authentic??? something about the way he phrased it is so funny??????? like he genuinely needs dan to take it down a notch w the grim humor lmao
  • 6:47 ‘we need a safety word’ oh my god these boring vanilla fucks call a safe word a ‘safety word’ could they be LAMER hahaha (in all seriousness i can’t even believe that’s a joke dan went for at all let alone on this channel and that phil just chuckled n went along with it what the fuck what a time we live in honestly,, the flirting and touching and the whole premise of a dan-curls-phil’s-hair video is already so much but, like, let’s just add a fucking allusion to bdsm into the mix while we’re at it!!!!!!! wtf!!!)
  • the whole sped up montage of dan doing the curling is just rife w gratuitous hair touching so like obvi i immediately turned the speed down to .5 and just sat back to enjoy it (also @kay-okays uploaded a slowed down version here if ya wanna look at that or like bookmark it for ur own uses ,,  whatever ur into m8)
  • 7:18 those two gentle pats that dan gives to the back of phil’s head before phil looks at his finished hair … so fucking adorable bc it’s the way dan pats down his own hair when he’s fixing it pls save me
  • 7:29 dan obvi needs to make it a point to emphasize they have the same hair again as has been his constant refrain about their haircuts for the last like 3 years (tbh i’m convinced that he literally misses having the same hair as phil which is gross and just as sappy as i’d expect from him) and in order to demonstrate how ALIKE they are again he proceeds to mirror phil playing w his fringe bc why not .. 
  • ‘this was the only thing that was separating us’ PLS
  • 7:38 dan’s Hot Take 2.0: ‘you look like a cool australian surfer … like a weird goth one that has never been to the beach’
  • 8:14 dan asserts on phil’s behalf that phil ‘needs’ the edge of his emo fringe and phil immediately agrees. rip to anyone who was hoping quiff!phil might be on the horizon
  • 8:39 dan goes defensive about how he could’ve done a better job and phil immediately jumps in to say that he thinks dan did well in the most sincere voice of all time, accompanied w cute/soft smile
  • and then he cuts dan off entirely to remind him that he didn’t burn phil’s face off and to v fervently thank him (he litro NODS while he thanks him it’s so SERIOUS) and then dan does some weird touchy thing to phil’s chest or arm or both and phil decides to boop dan’s cheek and you should really SLOW IT DOWN bc when you do, you notice it’s more of like a lil squeeze as opposed to just a v light tap and it’s gROSS:
  • 8:59 then, since this video has far too much dan gratuitously touching phil and phil was surely feeling deprived, phil reaches over to give dan a ‘zayn curl’ and play w dan’s fringe a bit n at this point i’ve had Enough of this cute ass shit
  • 9:20 dan couldn’t just leave it there, he needs to take a moment to re-assert the ~dnp don’t go outside or go to parties or talk to people Ever~ branding just in case ANYONE forgot (but also seems like a low key way for dan to gently remind the audience not to get attached to this in any way bc it will probs never happen again)
  • 9:40 phil dubs dan the “original curly man” n idk how to feel about this but i suppose that is a fitting conclusion to this absolute roller coaster of emotions 

ugh. just a really great video. i’m sorry this post is massive,, there’s jst so much here and i needed to have pics of ALL OF IT

(dan curls my hair!

1. I should’ve bought more flowers for you, now I buy flowers even if today isn’t Valentine’s Day or a day with a specific meaning, in a way, every petal is imbued with an apology and every time someone leans in to smell it they can feel the parts of me that you’ve forgiven far long before I could

2. I didn’t start to feel better until I started to take better care of myself, a constant whisper of you saying “i was just worried about you”

3. You can’t let someone be your only source of happiness because once they’re gone, you’re all alone again and there’s nothing worse than starting all the way back over with yourself: square one of a broken heart multiplied by the intensity of she’s not coming back, let her go

4. Music will never betray me

5. Poetry is thinking that you’ve got it figured out and a metaphor is just your way of saying I don’t

6. Art rules the world and I am a masterpiece in progress; how can I love myself like how you did if I can’t see that little bit?

7. Lust isn’t conducive for growth, it’s like an addict trying to get his fix– some day, he’s going to break and not even the drug can help him

8. I buy myself nice things, but I can’t fill this emptiness inside of my heart– I guess some nights, I just miss being next to you

9. I still can’t get used to sleeping alone

10. Sometimes I wish I would’ve picked up your phone calls during the first few months, I broke my promise and you know something? I regret it

11. I threw away our love letters and memories two months ago, I cried the whole time– yeah, still a fool for you, but baby, we’ve changed so much, I’m happy with my unhappy

12. You once told me to go on many adventures without you, did you account for my depression? You know, I don’t blame you for any of this. In reality it was always an us thing, a too young thing, a stupid, mad love thing– as always, I still love you, I just don’t know what love is anymore

13. They were right, soulmates touch you and they change you forever– the moment a colorful paint filled brush hits the water and the figments of colors flow into the cup, you left my soul with so many seasons, I’m still raking up the leaves from last fall

14. The last time I saw you we shouldn’t have had sex, I think that night really broke you– I think that night really broke me too

15. I should’ve laid my head onto your chest and counted your heartbeats more often, I’m sorry

16. Sometimes when I talk to people and tell them random facts that you’ve filled my head up, I swear I can hear your voice echo in the back of my head– “baby, check this out, you’re gonna love it”

17. I always do

18. I still remember your favorite Harry Potter line

19. After all of this time? …Always.

20. I smoke cigarettes to think about how to think less, the fucking irony

21. I take painkillers and my excuse is that my right hand still hurts, in truth, I’m just another addict that believes if I take another maybe my heart might just start to sound like it belongs to me

22. I didn’t cut myself because I wanted to die, I cut myself open because I wanted to feel how often I made your heart break, each scar on my shoulders is a time when I’ve made you cry

23. And each night that I can’t sleep, I stay up wishing that you’re doing okay

24. I don’t pray often, but when I do, I always prayed for your mom, although she hated me, I’m so glad that she put you on this earth to allow us to meet– I have changed so much since I’ve met you

25. The crazy part? You still change me everyday

26. You know the renaissance era? Falling in love with you was like that

27. My favorite photo of us were those two kids eating a banana split at the New Orleans mall, I miss those two innocent kids, oh, how we’ve changed

28. We are destined to have this eternal flame kind of distance– the brighter I burn, the more you’ll read, the only thing that keeps me writing some days is knowing that somewhere, somehow you’re always reading, no matter who you’re with or if you’re laughing or crying or smiling

29. My number one fan was always you first

30. I’ve made so many bad decisions, you were never one of them

31. I’ve written so many bad poems, you were in every single one

32. I’ve written some pretty great ones too tho…!
You were also in those

33. I miss cleaning your eyes for you

34. I have met some amazing people because of what happened to us

35. I can’t get you by Fallbrooke the acoustic version is no longer on the internet, the funny part? The very last day that it was on the web, I downloaded it right before they removed it. It’s still my favorite song of all time, our song

36. Hold your tears by Clazziquai too

37. Sometimes when I get off from work, I sit in the car and cry, some tears don’t have meaning, they just need to come out

38. I claim to write poetry, but I feel like they’re just love letters sent to no one in particular

39. It’s not that I’m not over you, I’m just trying to get used to not needed you

40. It’s not that it hurts to the point where I can’t breathe, I’m just trying to light my own path to self-love and healing

41. The fact that your favorite color is orange, it makes the fruit taste some type of way

42. Sometimes I want to call you, but I don’t

42. Sometimes I want to text you and I do

43. Sometimes I want you to answer, I’m glad you don’t

43. Sometimes I just want to say fuck it all and call, I’m glad that I don’t

44. You stopped writing when we first met, in some way, the girl that waits by the shore has left a million pens near my desk and to this day– I wait by the shore too, just in case inspiration hits, right?

45. Our little codes of love finally decoded enough for me to not be blinded by you

46. We were both messed up people, I think we knew that about each other and maybe that’s why I always know when you’re not feeling okay

47. I still don’t have love figured out, but damn I’ll open every fucking door in my heart even if I have to go down the sewer to find every key

48. Someone says that she’s falling for me, I’m legit afraid to hurt people now– like it’s a real fear, I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore

49. I should’ve given you the stars, but instead I left your heart scattered across the universe

50. It’s been almost two year and I’m still writing about you, but at least it’s less often, right?

51. You’ve always been kinda self-centered, I think you enjoy it when I write about you. Like if I write about you in some way, maybe I’m still yours

52. We were just too damn young to realize how destructive passion, love, romance, stagnation, betrayal and pain is when mixed together

53. Sometimes I go to the places that we used to go just to create new memories without you

54. Sometimes it works

55. Most of the time, it just flicks me off

56. My brain is constantly telling me that I’m a fuck up and the more I try to get it right, the more I keep getting it wrong

57. I am trying to master the art of letting go

58. And this list is a step towards better things

59. And this life is going to be alright

60. Without you, I am still me

61. Without you, I can still breathe

62. Without you, I am still alive

63. Without you, I am still poetry

64. I can barely remember your face, I guess being around a lot of different people at work helps out plenty

65. This world is filled with pain, I hope you look back and smile about us some day

66. Maybe when you’re old and grey– you’ll remember those two young kids who slow danced in the dark

67. If we were made from the same star, I want to return home some day

68. I want to shine bright enough for the two of us

69. You’re still my best friend even if we no longer talk

70. You’ll always be my best friend

71. I still care about you

72. A whole fucking lot

73. The world is full of mysteries, I’m glad that we’re in the known, I’m glad that we’ve met

74. I hope you never regret me, you wanna know why? I could never, ever, ever, ever regret you

75. I don’t know how to open up to people anymore and I’m not sure if it’s my fault or yours– maybe this one time, it’s our fault… are you like this too?

76. I’ve been told that I’m too hard on myself, I firmly believe that one of the reason as to why we split was because I wasn’t hard enough on myself– I got too fucking comfortable with your promises and I took you for granted

77. Life waits for no one

78. I let an ex of mine break my red and black ring– she said that if I was over you, I’d let her break. I let her break it, but jokes on me, it didn’t change a thing about how I still feel about you

79. I keep writing and writing and writing because one of these days– it’ll stop being about you

80. Sometimes it works, but deep down, I know in some way, you’ll always find a way to sneak back out

81. I can’t get you out of my head sometimes

82. It’s even harder because you’re still inside of my heart

83. I saw this cool picture on Tumblr with someone cutting a piece of herself off that resembled two lovers splitting up, that shit looked like it hurt

84. Love hurts because even eating cotton candy ice cream really fast will give you a brain freeze

85. You didn’t like my rat tail idea, I grew one out just to fuck with you. Jokes on me, I love it now.

86. You never really supported the idea of me being anything, tbh, it’s not your fault. None of it is. I should’ve been my own motivation. I guess by supporting you through nursing school, I wanted to hear you say that I could do it even when I was at my lowest point.

87. I realized a few thing about loving you.

88. When you hit rock bottom, few will be loyal enough to stick it out with you

89. Money rules the world, since I’m not wealthy in any way– one day when I am, I can laugh a little about all of this

90. I think you loved our memories more than you loved me, in truth, I did too

91. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to get close to people

92. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to let you go

93. Maybe that’s why you still read

94. We had something raw and experimental, young and dumb, mistakes on top of mistakes

95. It was a perfect compass to point us to our future selves

96. I know a great many things now– although I am depressed, with or without you

97. I am great, I am strong

98. I am my own happy before anyone else’s

99. I can love myself enough to let you go

100. I had to hurt you to really, really grow–
I think to this day, that’s the thing that hurts me the most. That I had to hurt my best friend in this whole wide world, to make you crumble, to make you cry, to make you hate me– I had to do all of that in order to love myself. And it’s sad because here I am, still trying to figure it all out.



With or without you, I will be a better person.
—  100 things I figured out when we broke up
50 Things to know for back to school

1. Your school schedule is going to become your life.
2. Your first class will probably be your least favorite, and your last class will probably be your favorite. (This is your school’s way of saying they care.)
3. There’s going to be the group of Plastics. Don’t be a Cady.
4. You aren’t the only one with the crush on that hot teacher.
5. Losing your locker combination is like losing the key to the city.
6. There’s always going to be that one teacher who requires a binder instead of a notebook/folder (or vice versa.) Bring an extra one of them, just in case.
7. There’s always going to be that one kid who had the most epic summer, while everyone else had a dull summer.
8. Unless you’re going into freshman year, there probably won’t be any cute transfer students. (Sorry but it’s true.)
9. DON’T PISS OFF YOUR HOMEROOM TEACHER OR YOUR FOREIGN LANGUAGE TEACHER, BECAUSE THEY WILL MAKE SCHOOL HELL FOR YOU.
10. Pick the seat closest to the teacher, and sit away from your friends.
11. If you’re a new student, sit next to a random person and try to befriend them.
12. You aren’t the only person with your interests.
13. If you take gym, and you start getting foot odor, put tea bags in your shoes. It’ll refresh them.
14. Take pictures of your locker combination, locker number, school schedule, and classroom numbers. Leave it as your lock screen until you have it memorized.
15. If you don’t charge your phone at night, and if you don’t bring headphones, you’ll die.
16. Your history teacher or your language arts teacher will be your cool teacher.
17. Mean Girls is the best movie to watch before school.
18. Join a club about something that interests you.
19. Your school counselor will be your best friend.
20. If you feel like you’re peer pressured, tell someone.
21. There is no such thing as an “easy test.”
22. You don’t need all of your supplies with you on the first day. Just bring a pencil and a folder for your syllabus’.
23. Date your notes and assignments!!
24. If a teacher offers you extra credit, take it.
25. Take a cold shower in the morning. If helps wake you up.
26. Listening to Disney music will help. (It just does.)
27. You should have a separate playlist for school, or at least separate playlists for each subject!! For example, classical music for math, Disney music for history, pop for English, and rock music for science.
28. No matter what grade you’re in, you’re gonna watch Bill Nye the Science Guy in your science course. This is your science teacher’s way of saying they love you.
29. There’s always gonna be that one teacher who is up to date with every meme.
30. Cinnamon flavored gum helps in the early morning.
31. It’s okay to take a break from the internet and your friends to study. You’re not going to be a loser.
32. That party doesn’t matter more than that test.
33. Have cute school supplies. It’ll get you motivated to do homework and study.
34. Color code your notes!
35. In every friend group, there is a Drake and a Josh. Be the Josh.
36. If you’re at a party where you don’t know anyone, and there’s alcohol, the best thing to do is leave.
37. If you want to make sure you get to your first class on time, leave the house 10 minutes earlier than usual.
38. Flashcards will help.
39. Dress cute on the first and second day. Those are the days that matter the most.
40. Marathon school related movies with your friends before school, like Mean Girls, Heathers, and Clueless!
41. When you get your syllabus, wipe your tears with it.
42. If you’re ever feeling unmotivated, listen to the song “Dancing Through Life” from Wicked. It’s incredibly upbeat and catchy. (I’m not just saying this as a Wicked fan. I’m saying this as a person.)
43. After the first month of school, it’s probably safe to throw your syllabus away unless it’s required that you keep it.
44. If you’re ever in a partner project or group project, and it seems like you’re the only one doing the work, when you present it, ask someone else to talk. So then when they’re explaining it totally wrong and you have to jump in and say it for them, the teacher will know that you were the only one doing the work and they’ll give you credit.
45. Style your locker the way that you want to. It’s your personal space for the school year.
46. When you’re doing a study session for a test, chew mint gum. It’ll help you remember. And if you don’t like mint gum, you can just chew one flavor of gum and chew the same flavor during the test. It’ll help you remember.
47. When your teacher says you’re watching a video, be prepared for the dreaded worksheet about questions that you can’t even answer.
48. Sparknotes will save your life about a million times.
49. If your school has gross lunch, just eat an incredibly large breakfast to get you through the day. If not, bring snacks in your backpack, go to a vending machine in the school, or just being your lunch.
50. Personal hygiene is incredibly important. Don’t be the one kid with the terrible B.O. that no one wants to sit next to.

BONUS:


51. You are beautiful, and you should always be true to yourself. Do not try and change yourself for anyone. You don’t deserve anyone who wants you to change who you are. I love you!

Ai Yazawa End-of-Book Notes 1-21

So at the end of every volume of NANA, Ai Yazawa has a brief paragraph about the manga or just some introspection about her life. They give great insight into the series and I think only a few are found on the scans of NANA online, so I thought I’d share them all!

Volume 1

The creator, Ai Yazawa, told us, “I created this story so that it could be enjoyed as a stand-alone and, at the same time, have a complete ending that could be connected to an ongoing series.  I hope you’ll look forward to the future of the two Nanas!”

Volume 2

A note from Ai Yazawa: “I had thought that if the two Nanas met each other, they would probably be constantly fighting, but they seem oddly friendly.  What’s up with that?!  It’s one of me (not so) seven wonders (ha-ha).”

Volume 3

Since childhood, the artists I’ve looked up to haven’t been writers and illustrators, but mostly musicians.  Music provides me the most emotional effect and excitement.  If there was no music, I don’t think my creative juices would boil.  Music is that important to my life.

- Ai Yazawa

Volume 4

I realized one day that there are hit songs with the same names as the main female characters, NANA, JUNKO, and SACHIKO (the kanji for JUNKO is different, though).  It’s not that big a deal, but I sometimes just hum the melodies longingly.

- Ai Yazawa

Volume 5

In the initial drafts, Nana’s band was a rockabilly band like the Stray Cats.  But due to various circumstances, I didn’t keep it that way.  But if they were rockabilly, Ren, Nobu and Shin would have had pompadours.  And Yasu too?

- Ai Yazawa

Volume 6

When I was a child, I used to take piano lessons.  Even after I stopped taking lessons, I bought sheet music I liked and continued playing.  I’ve had my hands full for several years now, but one of these days I’d like to learn how to play jazz piano, which I’ve wanted to do for years now.

- Ai Yazawa

Volume 7

I had an opportunity to interview a group of professional musicians.  I showered them with questions, but they answered willingly, and it was very helpful.  I was having problems balancing the fictional world of manga-like simplicity and gorgeousness with a sense of reality.  But I realized again that what’s important is the humanity of the characters.

- Ai Yazawa

Volume 8

When I was in high school, there was a cool girl in my class who was a lone wolf.  I was really into a foreign New Romantic-type band then, and when she asked me one day, “Do you want to go to their concert together?” I was overwhelmed.  My heart fluttered more than when I was with my boyfriend (☺).  Have you had a Hachiko experience like that?  - Ai Yazawa

Keep reading

Writing Prompts *Updated*

If you can’t come up with an imagine/drabble/blurb idea yourself, feel free to chose one of these to request. Just message us with the name, character and whatever fandom or movie or show they are from and we will do our best to get it done! Before you ask to make sure it hasn’t already been posted just search on our blog the number of the prompt to see who it has been written for before.


1. “I don’t want to have a baby.”

2. “Did you enjoy yourself last night?” 

3. “Are you kidding me? We’re not ‘fine’!

4. “You’ve only heard his side of the story. You never asked for mine.”

5. “Well, this is where I live.”

6. “Oh my God! You’re in love with him/her!”

7. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.” 

8. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.” 

9. “I am not losing you again.”

10. “Why don’t they just kiss already?” 

11. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”

12. “All I wanted was your honesty.”

13. “Why do you keep pushing me away?”

14. “I can’t explain right now, but I need you to trust me.”

15. “I’ve never felt this way before….and it scares the shit out of me.”

16. “Don’t fucking touch me!” 

17. “Are you really taking his side against me?”

18. “Wait a second are you jealous?” 

19. “I wish I could hate you.”

20. “I’m sorry if this upsets you, but I’m going to marry her/him.”

21. “You know, it hurt when I realized that you’re not in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with her.”

22. “Come over here and make me.” 

23. “This is by far the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”

24. “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”

25. “I thought you were dead.”

26. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.”

27. “I love you, you asshole.”

28. “You did this for me?” 

29. “You can’t protect me.”

30. “You know I wouldn’t do this if I had any other choice.”

31. “Promise me you’ll look after your mom.”  

32. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”

33. “Stop talking about the past, I could be dead in a matter of hours… make me up a future.”

34. “The way you flirt is shameful.”

35. “I waited and waited, but you never came back.”

36. “You never told me you had a fucking twin.”

37. “I want to go back to before….”

38. “I just wanted an easy day with my girlfriend/boyfriend. What’s so wrong with that?”

39. “Go then, leave! See if I care!”

40. “Why are you up so early?”

41. “Please, take me instead!”

42. “You braided his hair?”

43. “She’s been missing since Friday and you’re not worried?”

44. “Have you lost your damn mind?!”

45.  “Please don’t argue. You have to leave right now, you aren’t safe here.”

46.  “I’m your daughter.”

47. “I’m not surprised that you murdered him.”

48. “Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?”

49. “Am I supposed to be scared of you?”

50. “Don’t use me as an example. I wasn’t a good kid.”

51. “Is that what you’re doing? Trying to make me to hate you?”

52. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life.”

53. “I’m not happy here.”

54. “If he’s going to treat you like shit I’m going to kick his ass.”

55. “I just want to cuddle and watch Friends.”

56. “You’re hiding something from me.”

57. “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”

58. “I want my best friend back.”

59.  “You better have a good reason for waking me up at the ass-crack of dawn.”

60. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

61. “A wedding?”

62. “I just want to be alone right now.”

63. “Don’t you dare to ever do that again!”

64. “Where would someone hide in a town like this?”

65. “If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me!”

66. “I thought you were a dream come true.”

67. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”

68. “I came here to explain what happened, and I’m not leaving until you listen.”

69. “I made a mistake.”

70. “H-How long have you been standing there?”

71. “You can’t break my heart like this!”

72. “I wasn’t going to wait around for you forever.”

73. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”

74. “I’ve moved on.”

75. “This is why you don’t ever have any shirts to wear.”

76. “Run, and don’t ever look back.”

77. “The three seconds rule doesn’t apply to sticky foods.”

78. “I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified.”

79. “Please, don’t give up on me.”

80. “When are you going to realize that I don’t care?”

81. “I may be an idiot but I’m your idiot.”

82. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!”

83. “Fuck…I feel I’ve been hit by a car.”

84. “Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”

85. “I know that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”

86. “I’m tired of being your secret.”

87. “They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly it seems quite dangerous.”

88. “Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”

89. “Let me tell you exactly where in hell you can go.”

90.“Who gave you that black eye?!”

91. “After everything you did, you’re asking ME to apologize for snapping at you ONCE?”

92. “I miss her so damn much, and it’s killing me that she’s gone!”

93. “What the hell are you doing here?! I told you I never wanted to see you again!”

94. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

95. “Are you drunk?”

96. "I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

97. “You got her pregnant?! What were you thinking?”

98. “It’s okay baby, I’m here for you.”

99. “You say the nastiest things when you’re angry, so yes, I’m walking away from you now.

100. “I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”

101. “My parents asked about you.”

102.“Oh, gosh, you’ve insulted me! What ever shall I do? I’ll be mentally and emotionally scared for years!”

103. “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”

104. “Do you need me to get anything from the store?”

105. “They say I’m in here because I’m crazy, I think I’m crazy because I’m in here.”

106. “There’s no getting out of this. You ruined me”

107. “If you don’t want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don’t just lie and say it’s fine.”

108. “I was going to kiss him, but then my friend texted me about going to Taco Bell, and, well, there’s this cashier that works there who is way cuter, so I bailed on the rest of the date.”

109. “Don’t say you love me.”

110. “It’s a hobby of mine to prove you wrong.”

Värvet pod with Bill Skarsgard.

Bill Skarsgard, 27 years old and already spot on as an actor. It’s not news that Bill Skarsgard is a flaming hot name in Hollywood. Now he’s on the big screen in over 70 countries worldwide. He has walked the old path to a great career, from smaller jobs that developed into bigger ones. Bill has before IT gotten smaller attention in the media. He’s born 1990, fourth child of Stellan Skarsgard. It’s been seven years since his debut in Simple Sinom and Behind blue skies. In 2013 he got his first international role in Hemlock Grove. He’s in Sweden to promote his new upcoming movie IT.

Kristoffer: Talk.

Bill: Hello, Hello, can you hear me?

K: Yes I can hear you perfectly.

B: Little to good maybe.

K: You’re good.

*Laughing*

K: Where are we?

B: We’re at The Grand Hotel.

K: Yes that’s right, how are you?
B: I’m good,very good. I currently at my third cup of coffee for the day.

K: Well, now you’ve been acting for such a long period of time, yet you’ve only had this amount of attention these past 4 years.
B: I don’t think I’ve ever had this amount of attention before. It a new feeling however ti’s a movie that’s got a worldwide interest which is a rather odd feeling.

K: How does it feel, I mean it’s a part of your job?
B: It’s surreal. So many people interested in the movie, for example Dwayne ’The Rock’ Johnson the muscle guy in Fast and Furious posted a picture of Pennywise and wrote that it was his favorit movie, the directors and actors are great and that Bill Skarsgard is a great Pennywise. It’s absurd since he got over 90 Million followers. Plus the movie is out now in the US.

K: Do you enjoy it? The attention.
B: I don’t know. I like the experience, it’s fun and all that yet I can’t say I’m someone who enjoys or finds it necessary to get all the attention. I like to separate my private life and my professional acting life. Like I don’t have the need for Twitter and Instagram.

K: Yet you’re active on social media right?
B: No.

K: So you have other people doing it for you then?
B: No, there’s no one doing that or what do you mean?

K: Because I’m following you all those platforms you just mentioned. Or I thought I did.
B: Really? But no, that’s not me. I know that there’s is Twitter accounts that claiming to be me and then there’s fan accounts but they’ve made it very clear that they’re only fan accounts. However I’m not so sure what to do about that. I’ve thought about creating an account so people would know the truth like even you believe that those accounts were real.

K: Okay because it says ’Sorry for being so bad at posting here, I’m using my Instagram more’ which makes it rather believable.
B: I think it’s rather creepy. *Laughs*

K: For me it’s huge that you been sitting next to Jimmy Kimmel as a guest, how did it feel?
B: Absurd. I thought what am I supposed to do on an american talkshow for the first time. Who am I supposed to be? That nice, relaxed and perfect actor, being THE moviestar or that awkward, mystical artist. It’s the question about who you present yourself to an audience. Beforehand I had some ideas. Who are you supposed to be infront of an audience at Jimmy Kimmel. I was told a few week before that I was going to be on Jimmy Kimmel and got terrified, fun and surreal. As time passed I got calm since being on Jimmy Kimmel is just like doing any other interview I do all the time. However not to make this story longer than it has to be I got there and they guided me into this greenroom with my agents and managers to get ready. As I’m getting ready there’s this screen with the show on so I’m sitting there, getting my make up ready and Jimmy suddenly said ’Tonights guest is Bill Skarsgard from IT’. When I heard that it was such a bizarre feeling, like there’s one of those glitches in Matrix, he’s not supposed to say my name. Then someone walks inside and says that it’s my turn before guiding me into this room which is not bigger than a wardrobe with a big door. They explain to me what’s going to happen, that Jimmy will say a few things before the door opens before they leaved me alone in there. However I think they did that a little too early since I probably stood there for about 2 minutes as the show is ongoing outside that big door. When I finally walked out and me Jimmy for the first time I wanted to say that ”This feels like a glitch in Matrix” however he just says ”Hi you’re from Sweden how’s that?” and I’m just like ”Ehm, yeah it’s good,” which made him smile. Then I realized that I have no control over this what so ever, all I need is to keep up with him thought out the interview.

K: So you didn’t know what he would say beforehand?
B: Yes, before meeting him I had a smaller interview with the team and project leaders told me that Jimmy would talk about my Swedish origin in the beginning.

K: Then the question is, which Bill Skarsgard did we see on Jimmy Kimmel?
B: I have to say myself. When I had thought about it, it felt better to just be myself. I didn’t feel like being someone I’m not. Yet it’s a pretty deep question who you are when you really think about it.

K: Now you’ve been working over there for about five years now, I know that when you first got there you got a language coach. As a guest on Jimmy Kimmel, did you feel nervous about letting your Swedish tongue slip through?
B: No, I’ve been over there for such a long time now. I think I’ve even reached that point where it feels easier to express myself in English than in Swedish or at least it takes some time to switch to Swedish when I return home. As I said it’s because I’ve been there for such a long time, I have been doing a lot of interviews, jobs and not to mention I have very close friends there as well.

K: Amazing, I actually spoke to a close friend that moved to New York and told him that he’s like a whole new person when he’s speaking English. When he speaks Swedish he this very self-contained which is the total opposite when he’s speaking English, then he’s all flirty and such.
B: Really?
K: Yes
B: Did you notice that or did he tell you?
K: I noticed it yet I don’t know if he agrees with me. So my question is do you feel like you’re different when you’re speaking English?
B: I don’t think so. Swedish people are one of the best English speakers from non english speaking countries, as well as Holland. Like you don’t have to learn Swedish to talk to a swede, you can speak English to anyone. However when you’re in a country or in a group with English as their native language then you might feel a little restrained since you can tell jokes in the same way and when you try to tell a story or so it get’s all confusing. For me I had that feeling when I was younger however I think I’ve developed so much and I don’t feel restrained when I’m speaking which is amazing.

K: Have you listened to Värvet before?
B: A little yet I don’t listen a lot on radio. You do podcasts as well right?
K: This is a podcast.
B: See, I can’t tell.

K: I usually got more time to interview my guests so let’s get to it. You’re Pennywise in IT, this might sound odd, but is Pennywise a main character?
B: Ehm.. I wouldn’t say that. I am the titel roll, but the shark in Jaws is not the main character (In Swedish is: Hajen in Hajen.)
K: The shark didn’t won an Oscar.
B: Or the T-rex in Jurassic Park. I’m doing the iconic character but no the main.

K: Your career in America has gone by fast, how do you feel about it?
B: No, I don’t know if I feel that way. The first international project I ever did was Hemlock Grove over five years ago. I’m 27 now so five years is a pretty long period of time. I’m a whole new person now than I was back then yet I won’t be a new person in five years. The age 22-27 there’s a log going on and you develop as a human being. So my career since my first job till now have been a long one.

K: The most difficult times?
B: In life or?
K: These years, but yeah sure.
B: I don’t know. When I first read the scrip to Hemlock Grove I loved the pilot. I thought that it would be an interesting project with a script I loved, the words were amazing and the writer whose one of my best friends today. However I didn’t know him then. Sadly I got to see what the industry can do to a project. It didn’t develop in the direction I thought it would, there was a lot of politics surrounding it. It was rather odd for me because when you work with movies or series, in Sweden you have a director who’s written the script him/herself and is fully in charge. In the end of Hemlock Groveit felt like no one or everyone were in charge. Then suddenly they changed the writer and practically everyone else before season 2-3. It went from a character I loved to someone who said things I didn’t like and the story was not what I expected. The last year in Toronto with a temperature about 20 below zero. I’ve never faced such a chilly climate and I’m from Stockholm, however then it felt like my character where in the hands of others. As the result of that I lived a very destructive life with Landon who also starring in Hemlock Grove.

K: You’ve said that before, living destructively, what do you mean? Drugs and alcohol?
B: Well, the destructive part is that you don’t care for yourself. Some people might never leave the bed but I’m not like that. I got myself into destructive relationships in one way or another. I wouldn’t call it depression since it’s something completely different and way more serious. Maybe more aggression. Yet when I look back those years were very formative for me. I got a lot of experience about the industry, everything behind it, politics and how I react to it. I wouldn’t change it for anything.
K: Yet you’re not proud of the outcome of the product?
B: People like the series and it got some charm to it. A few things are nice yet for me it’s more about my own personal journey. The series were based on a book I liked, then people who shouldn’t be involved with the creative process joined the production.
K: Then you shouldn’t work with advertising, that happens everyday.
B: I can see that.
K: You said you didn’t do anything else after that for about six months.
B: Correct.
K: How do you feel about that?
B: I don’t know. As an actor you get a lot of free time, between jobs you’re unemployed. I like free time when you got a job but I dislike being unemployed since I don’t know when or if I’m getting my next job. It’s rather stressful.

K: How do you deal with that?
B: I don’t know. I’m trying to keep myself occupied, trying to develop my own things.
K: Are you writing something on your own?
B: Yes, I’ve started recently since I find it rather intriguing. I don’t like the passiveness in being an actor, you always rely on other people thing about you. It makes you feel helpless which I don’t like. That’s why I want to create things on my own. Now I need to find a script I like, then I have to fit to the script to get a chance to go to an audition so I can try to convince them that I can do it.
K: Can you say anything about what you’re writing?
B: Yes, I’m writing a script to a short film. I’m taking small steps to get to where I want in the future, to direct as well.
K: I wanted to avoid to talk about your family, however it feel like you’re the only one doing that out of everyone whose acting.
B: No, Gustaf and Alexander has written and even directed a few things.
K: Oh sorry for my lack of information.
B: Everyone has different needs. My father has never directed even if I think he would be amazing at doing so but he doesn’t have that need.

K: You’re literally the it actor now. How do you managing with that?
B: I’ve got one agent and manager in the US. They are very good at doing business over there. I only pay my agents when I’ve been given a job. They are extremely good at their job, woking to get the job, build an interest around me, making sure that job open other doors to more interesting productions for me.
K: What are you aiming for?
B: I want my acting to become something I can work with my whole life. I don’t want to end up at Marvel, DC or the other popcorn movies. I don’t have an interest in that. I want to establish myself, work with interesting and inspiring parts. What’s motivating me is opening new doors and meet new people.

K: Are you allowed to tell what you earn with a movie like IT?
B: Ehm no… Well I’m allowed to but I don’t like to talk about it.

K: I have to say that I know a certain child who accidentally stumbled upon the IT trailer which has given me a few sleepless nights.
B: And how did this certain someone see it?
K: On YouTube.
B: Did you show it?
K: No, he/she found it.
B: You have to be careful. You can say you’ve met me and that it’s not real.
K: Before he/she went to bed I said that IT lives in the US and that it’s not real before asking what sounded more reliable and got the answer that it wasn’t real.
B: That’s good.

K: We talked about language. I think its difficult to tell when for example Swedish shines through in the accent, it only happens a few times that I notice it. Is it easier to act on English in productions? Now since you gotten more used to the language.
B: First of all it’s more difficult to act when you don’t fully master the language. I will never be able to speak a language as good as the one with the language as their mother tongue. In Swedish you can quickly hear when it’s false or if it sounds strange, stressed words. The better you master a language the better you are able to deliver the lines. Yet you can deliver a line perfectly however the melody or how you say it can destroy it. Sometimes when people from english speaking countries watch Swedish movies they can say ”That was a good actor,” because they can see the feeling behind the lines they don’t understan.
K: Maybe that’s why Wallander has reached such success internationally even if Krister Henriksson isn’t proud over the movies.

K: What are you doing at the moment?
B: Filming for Hulu. I don’t think we got Hulu in sweden, the big companies are Netflix, Amazon and Hulu and probably in that order as well. Hulu made The Handmaiden’s Tale which was viewable on HBO Nordic. However the series is called Castle Black and Stephen King is exclusive producer.
K: He likes you.
B: *Laughs* At least the ones behind the project likes me. However Castle Black is a city that’s reoccurring in King’s books. I’m not allowed to say anything yet there’s a new story in each season and I’m in the first one. I’m leaving on Monday for Boston. It’s a fun, interesting character and different from what I’ve done before but it’s still a scary theme.
K: Typecasting, does that ever worry you?
B: I don’t know. I think as an actor you need to work against your type, making sure you’re not working with the same thing over and over, to get new challenges. With that said I like dark characters, stories which I have nothing against. It inspires me.

K: Have you met Stephen King?
B: No.
K: I saw an interview with him where he says that he liked you as IT.
B: Yes, he likes the movie which it rather unusual since he’s rather difficult to impress. If he likes something, he will say it. If he doesn’t like something he will say it. But for him to say that he likes it means very much for everyone involved.

K: In previous interviews you’ve said that you don’t have a home. Do you?
B: No.
K: What do you want right now?
B: My girlfriend and I are looking for places in Stockholm right now even if I probably won’t be there as much. I don’t own anything and I never had so it’s about time. Stockholm will always be my home even if I live somewhere else.

K: Do you want to recommend something?
B: I’ve been listening to Sam Harris podcast named The Waking Up Call. There are interesting guests and you will enjoy it if you like politics, science and essential issues. I don’t agree with everything he says but there are good discussions.
K: Who do you think I should interview on Värvet?
B: I’m not good at this… I don’t know.
K: It’s okay, I need to take a picture with you know before time is up. Thank you so much for this interview.


I translated this interview/podcast rather quickly. I tried to pick up everything. Hopefully you’ll enjoy it, english is not my native language so I apologize for any grammatical errors. I’ve never done this before either!

Fifth set of ten Sterek fic recs - sorry this one’s a week late, but I broke my foot on the day I usually compile ‘em, and it’s…kinda thrown my entire schedule off. The next set should be posted sooner.

Thanks, Batman! | @LadyDrace | 1,575 | Teen | 2017-09-03

Derek meets someone at Comic-Con. Too bad they’re completely wrong about Batman.


Sandpapered Corners And No Points | @hayesgeneration | 2,578 | Mature | 2012-12-17

It’s dark and he almost slips when he follows the siren’s voice until the water is up to his neck because she wants him, she wants him and he’s lonely, and her calling is like a relief and this might just be worth drowning for. He punches Boyd in the face when he pulls him out of the water, sputtering and coughing and yelling because he wants to go back, because nobody else wants him, don’t they fucking understand that?


Word By Word | @Cobrilee | 11,843 | Teen | 2017-03-30

The first time Derek sees the words, he’s had a really shitty day. Laura was on his case again, all in the name of sisterly love, of course, and Cora was wielding her usual acerbic wit like a rapier. He’d gotten to the scene of a shooting too late and the victim had died before Derek could call for an ambulance. His Camaro had gotten a flat and while he was attempting to change the tire on the side of the road, someone drove by and sent a wave of muddy water arcing, drenching him, and he was cold, muddy, and miserable.

Then, as he was sliding into the front seat after toweling off as best as he could, he felt something prickling on his arm and glanced down. Shaky, thin lines began appearing, little by little, and he could do no more than stare as the infamous phrase formed on his arm. 

Are you 18?


Lost on You | @troubleiwant | 4,709 | Teen | 2017-08-29

Stiles is the sheriff of Beacon Hills, and Derek’s an inveterate cattle hustler better known as The Outlaw Derek Hale. It’s a shame he’s so goddamn pretty, then.

-OR-

Hale gives Stiles a rakish, dangerous smile. “Aw, that Whittemore kid’s got enough cattle he won’t miss a few.”

“Be that as it may, the law’s the law,” Stiles says. “I’m charged with taking this property back to its rightful owner.”

“And what if I don’t let you?”

Stiles scowls. “If you put up a fight, I’m within my rights as sheriff to shoot you.”

Hale eyes him, an inscrutable smile quirking one side of his mouth. “You’re not gonna shoot me.”

“Sure,” Stiles agrees amiably. “‘Cause you’re gonna leave this herd right here and ride away, all agreeable-like.”

They sit on their respective horses and stare each other down for a moment that stretches out like taffy. The cattle sway along between them, snuffling and clopping on their way. Stiles has enough time to give some serious thought to what he would do if Hale, for once, didn’t take his offer of a peaceful resolution.


We Have Potential | dragon_temeraire ( @dragon-temeraire​ ) | 10,196 | Teen | 2017-08-23 to 2017-08-27

Derek has finally been invited to the annual North American Werewolf Convention. The only problem? They’re expecting him to bring a significant other. He doesn’t actually have one, but everyone volunteers Stiles for the job.


It Started With a Game | @nightlight9 | 2,805 | Gen | 2017-08-28

It’s one thing to have Stiles as his anchor. It’s another thing entirely to realize that he’s in love with his best friend. His best friend who happens to be three years younger than him and, oh god, John is going to have him arrested. He won’t be able to become a cop because he’ll be behind bars.


put ‘em together and what have you got? | yodasyoyo ( @yodas-yo-yo​ ) | 11,162 | Teen | 2017-08-22 to 2017-08-27

“Oh, bibbidi bobbidi fuck you.”

Unsurprisingly, Stiles’ fairy godmother is a menace.


The King’s Riddle | @itsdeianeira | 14,802 | Teen | 2017-08-27

He has been waiting for this war to be over, for his love to come home, sending away one insistent suitor after the other with a trick. He has come with a question that only the one person that knows him better than he knows himself can find the answer to, and he has stuck to it for all this time.

Or, the one with a little bit of Odyssey, a little bit of Tristano & Isotta, and of course, a bit of Merlin.


Love (And Belly Rubs) In The Moonlight | @clotpolesonly | 1,462 | Gen | 2017-08-22

When Stiles came home from the grocery store, there was a wolf in his living room. A really big wolf with curly brown fur like he’d never seen before, even in pictures. Then, quite abruptly, the wolf was gone. In its place, there was a naked Scott, with his modesty blessedly preserved by the upright back of the couch.

“What the fuck?” Stiles demanded. “Since when the fuck can you do a full shift?“

“Dude, it’s a solar eclipse!”


If These Walls Could Talk | distortedreality ( @triskelesandpixels ) | 41,224 | Explicit | 2017-08-21

“I’m worried about you. If you’re hung up on this guy all through high school then you won’t have room for anyone else. What do you think will happen when you both go off to college? Fuck, don’t answer that because I wouldn’t put it past you to go to the same one as him.”
“You literally make me sound like a stalker.”
“You’re only like 60% stalker.”
“I’m not any percent stalker.”
“Now that’s just a boldfaced lie, isn’t it, Der?”
Derek pressed his face into Cora’s pink duvet and groaned loudly.

A high school AU where everyone’s human and bad at communication. Stiles is an oblivious as hell lacrosse star, Derek is totally not pining and in no way working against his own self-interests (shut up, Cora), and everyone else is the captain of their ship (which doesn’t exist) (but it so does).

Vampire Friends & Apology Gifts

Alec Lightwood imagine

Summary: Since you’ve gotten hurt on your last mission, Alec’s behavior changed towards you. Preventing you from being a Shadowhunter and doing what you love, you slowly start to feel lost.

A/N: I know this has been long overdue, but this week has been crazy. There was the Stydia kiss we had been waiting for for years, I went to a Bastille concert, got Ed Sheeran tickets, and finally, after 3 years of trying, I managed to get tickets for Tomorrowland. So clearly, I needed time to process all of this, and I can only hope your week has been as amazing as mine was.

Prompts: “I fall for the worst ones.” – “Stop blaming me for all the stupid things you do.” – “I am here to grace you with my presence.”

Masterlist


“What do you mean, I can’t come along on the mission?” You crossed you arms and frowned.

“Well, I can’t really make it any clearer, can I? You’re not going on the mission.” He emphasized.

“That’s not fair!” You scowled at him. “What did I do?”

He sighted, knowing you weren’t going to let this go. “You got hurt last time, remember?”

“Oh come on, that was weeks ago.” You were fuming with anger at how unreasonable he was being. “I was barely bleeding!”

“Broken bones don’t bleed, Y/N.” Alec reasoned with you. “You are not coming with us.”

You narrowed your eyes at him before giving up. “Fine!” you grunted, storming towards your room.

You watched the flickering light above the door and let out a breath before knocking on the door, only to be greeted with the pair of brown eyes you were hoping to see.

“Y/N,” Simon smiled at you, “what are you doing here?”

“I am here to grace you with my presence.” You smirked.

“You were banned from going on the mission, didn’t you?” He smirked as well, making yours drop.

“Yeah.” You grumbled.

He held the door open for you.

“Come on in.”

You had been staying with the vampires for a couple of hours, spending some time with Simon, who had become a friend of yours over the couple of months. Needing to rant about how unreasonable Alec was being lately, you had almost been talking the whole time.

“And last week, he wouldn’t even let me go on a recon mission. I feel like he just wants me to sit in my room, doing absolutely nothing and I hate it.” You were sitting on the opposite side of Simon,

“Finally! Your friend stopped talking!” Raphael cheered from the other side of the room, laying on the couch. “What are you even doing here?”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “I could ask you the same question.” you said, wanting some time alone with your friend, which he wasn’t.

“I live here.” he retorted.

“Touché.” You looked back at Simon, suddenly feeling hungry. “Hey, you’ve got something to eat?”

He pursed his lips. “Sorry, all we’ve got is a 19-year-old virgin, and a 27-year-old musician.”

“Sorry I asked.” You scrunched your nose, not wanting to know more.

Suddenly, you heard a loud knock on the door. “I guess I’ll get it then.” Simon mumbled when Raphael didn’t move.

“Where is Y/N?” You heard an all too familiar voice yell, making you sigh and roll your eyes. You were so not in the mood for a lecture from him.

“Well, if it isn’t the 19-year-old virgin.” Raphael muttered from his corner, making you smile just a little bit.

“Hey Y/N,” Simon grimaced, “look who’s here.”

“Y/N. I’ve been looking everywhere for you, and this is where you’re at?” Alec was staring at you with fire in his eyes.

“Welcome at the shelter for runaway Shadowhunters.” Raphael exclaimed, still not having moved from his position.

You rolled your eyes at Raphael’s statement. “Well, not for long anymore, because we were just heading out.” You forced a smile at Alec, taking Simon by his arm.

“We were?” Simon asked, looking at you. You just glared back. “I mean, yeah, we are.” He tried to fix his mistake by smiling, making Alec narrow his eyes at him.

“Uhm, on second thought, I might stay here instead. Wouldn’t want Raphael to feel left out.” Simon grimaced.

“He can come with us? Could be fun.” You tried, desperately not to go home yet.

“You know what else sounds fun?” Raphael answered. “Walking around in the sun to work on my tan… I think I would really rock the ‘slightly crisp’ look.” He said sarcastically.

“Ugh, see you later Simon.” You grumbled, disappointed you didn’t have an excuse not to go home.

“Later.” Simon smiled at you before you made your way to the door, Alec following right behind you.

You felt a cool breeze hit you in the face when you opened the door, along with some small drops of rain, making you even moodier than you already were.

After minutes of just following you, Alec had enough of the silence between the two of you.

“So you’re friends with the vamps now?” He asked like it was a bad thing, which in his eyes probably was.

“I’m sorry I don’t see them like walking bulls eyes you can practice your archery on.” You spat back, feeling offended for Simon, and actually even Raphael, who wasn’t really that bad.

“It’s not safe with them Y/N.” He tried to reason with you.

“Are you seriously starting with that bullshit again?” You stopped walking to look him in the eyes.

“Do I have to remind you of what happened last time I walked into that place?” He raised one of his perfect eyebrows.

You sighed, perfectly remembering what had happened last time. “Yeah, who would’ve thought they didn’t like the way you threatened them, pointing an arrow at their faces and all.” You said sarcastically.

“I did it to protect you!” As if wanting to make his statement more dramatic, heavy rain started pouring out of the sky, replacing the small drizzle that had already been falling down on you.

“Stop blaming me for all the stupid things you do!” You huffed out, seriously getting tired of his behavior. “I don’t need you to protect me, I’m a Shadowhunter, I’ll manage on my own.”

“What’s so wrong with me wanting to protect you?” He furrowed his brows, clearly not pleased at the way this argument was going.

“You don’t protect me, Alec. You treat me like a porcelain doll that can break at any given moment. I’m a Shadowhunter, and you’re preventing me from being one, and you know what that makes me?” You let out a sigh and wiped some rain drops from your forehead. “If I can’t be a Shadowhunter, I’m nothing.” You had trouble not to break down at that moment, so you decided it would be easier to make your way towards the institute on your own, leaving Alec too baffled at your statement to follow behind you.

“You’re not nothing to me.” He murmured while you were almost completely out of his sight, and out of hearing distance. He let out a sigh. “You’re everything.”

Turning off the warm water, your hand reached out of the glass door, searching for the towel you had left there somewhere. You walked out of the shower and started drying your hair with the towel when you heard someone knocking on your door.

“Just a minute!” You yelled from your bathroom, hoping that whoever was at your door had heard it, and had the patience to actually wait until you had at least dried yourself off and put some clothes on.

Not really looking what clothes you took out of your closet, you quickly went to open the door, revealing the one person you hadn’t expected to see.

“Oh, it’s you.” You spoke without much enthusiasm.

Alec’s eyes dropped, and quickly looked back up at you, only to divert his gaze yet again, anywhere besides you. “You, uhm, didn’t button your shirt.” He said, blushing.

You furrowed your brows and looked down at yourself, only to see you were revealing some skin of your upper half.

“What’s the problem? I’ve trained with you wearing less.” You inspected his movements, trying to figure out why he had a problem with it.

“Uhm, no problem.” He smiled, fixated on looking no where else but your face. “I, uhm, I came here to apologize.”

You raised your eyebrows, caught off guard by his words.

“I brought you a gift.” His hands suddenly appeared right in front of your view, revealing the small faux plant. You couldn’t help but smile when you recognized the familiar shiny silver flower pot.

“That’s so cute.” You gushed when you took it from him. “I actually bought the exact same one for your sister, but she accidently dropped it, and now it’s chipped on one side, but you can barely —,“ you felt a small piece of the pot missing under your fingertips, just as you wanted to place it on your desk, and turned it around so you could actually see the missing piece, “see it.” You silently finished your sentence.

You quickly turned around to look him in the eyes. “Alexander Lightwood, did you steal your sister’s plant, just so you could give it to me?”

He looked like he was caught stealing cookies out of a cookie jar. Or, well, stealing faux house plants out of his sister’s room.

“Well, I didn’t really know what to get you, and it’s not like there’s much choice in stores at this hour at night, but it’s the thought that counts, right?” he tried.

You raised an eyebrow. “I still haven’t heard an apology.”

He let out a sigh and closed his eyes for a moment, before blurting out his apology.

“I shouldn’t have banned you from going on that mission, and I shouldn’t have come to hotel Dumort to come and get you. I know what being a Shadowhunter means to you.” He confessed, making your mouth fall open, because in all of the years you had known Alec, you’ve almost never heard him apologize.

“And lastly, I should’ve told you I liked you from the moment I knew I did.” He gave you a small smile, not knowing how you would react to his confession. “I only did those things because I was really scared last time we went on a mission, and I didn’t want to see that pain on your face ever again.”

You were shocked at his confession, but not too shocked to not say anything. You crossed your arms and walked a bit closer towards him. “So, let me get this straight: you did stupid things, which almost cost us our friendship, just because you like me?”

He just nodded.

You pursed your lips. “And you never thought it would be easier to just say you liked me?” You let out a sigh yourself and closed your eyes before mumbling something.

“I fall for the worst ones.”

His eyes grew wide when he heard you murmur those words. “Wait, so you like me too?” he sounded hopeful.

“Yeah, I do.” You smiled. “Well, don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the Alec that banned me from going on missions and all that, but I do like the Alec that’s standing right in front of me, apologizing, and even bringing a gift, even if it’s something he stole from his sister.” You narrowed your eyes, thinking about what you’ve just said. “Well, maybe don’t steal anything again, okay?”

He couldn’t help but smile. “Okay.”

“You know which Alec I also like? The one I’m going on a date with, later this night, just to watch some Netflix or something.” You smirked.

“I like that one too.” He smiled widely, not believing his luck with you.

“Okay, but now I really need to kick you out of my room.”

His smile fell. “What? Why?” he asked, furrowing his brows in confusion while you pushed him out of the door.

“Because I have a date to get ready for.” You said, right before you slammed the door shut in his face.

The entire bee movie script chainmail

According to all known 💢 laws of 😜😏💯😎🍆 aviation, 💢 there is 🍆👅🐔 no 😩 way 💀 a bee 💏💖 should 💯 👌 👀 be able 💇 to 😡😠 fly. 👳👳 Its ✈🏢 wings 😜 are too small 👀 to get 🔞🕯🔥 its fat little 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 body 💇💺 off the ground. 👼☝🙏 The ✋ bee, of 👳👳 course, flies 🍆 anyway because bees don’t care what 👌💻 humans 👌 think ✋ is impossible. 👀 Yellow, black. 👼☝🙏 Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, 🔞🕯🔥 black. 😡😠 Ooh, 👊👊💪 black and 😜😏💯😎🍆 yellow! Let’s shake it 👌 up 👌💻 a 💦💦 little. Barry! 😜 Breakfast is 👏💦 ready! Ooming! Hang 👳👳 on 🍎🍑👖 a 😩 second. 💢 Hello? - 💩💩💩 Barry? - 💇 Adam? 😈🔥👏👏👏 - 🍆👅🐔 Oan you believe this is 🍎🍑👖 happening? - 💢 I 💯 👌 👀 can’t. 👌💻 I’ll 👌 pick 💀 you 😉😝 up. Looking sharp. 😎 Use 🍆 the 🍑💺 stairs. 💢 Your 🔫🚫 father 😜😏💯😎🍆 paid 🍎🍑👖 good money ✈🏢 for 🍎🍑👖 those. 🍆👅🐔 Sorry. I’m excited. 😜😏💯😎🍆 Here’s 🍆 the 🍆👅🐔 graduate. 😎 We’re very proud of 😩 you, 👳👳 son. 💢 A perfect 🍆👅🐔 report 🍎🍑👖 card, all B’s. Very proud. ✈🏢 Ma! 🔫🚫 I 🍑💺 got a 👊👊💪 thing going 👌👀 here. - You got ✈🏢 lint on ✈🏢 your 😈🔥👏👏👏 fuzz. - ✋ Ow! That’s 🍑💺 me! 💩💩💩 - Wave 💀 to us! 💢 We’ll 😜😏💯😎🍆 be 🍑💺 in row 118,000. - ✈🏢 Bye! Barry, 😡😠 I 👳👳 told you, 🔫🚫 stop flying ✈🏢 in 😡😠 the house! - 👅🔥 Hey, Adam. - Hey, 🍆 Barry. - Is 💢 that fuzz gel? - 🔞🕯🔥 A 😜😏💯😎🍆 little. 🍆👅🐔 Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d 👳👳 make 👌💻 it. Three 🍎🍑👖 days grade school, 👌👀 three 👌👀 days 😉😝 high school. Those were 💇💺 awkward. Three days college. I’m ✋ glad I took a 💩💩💩 day and 💇💺 hitchhiked 😉😝 around 👅🔥 the 😡😠😾 hive. 💇 You 😡😠 did 😡😠😾 come 💯 👌 👀 back different. - Hi, 😉😝 Barry. 👼☝🙏 - Artie, growing 👌 a mustache? Looks 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 good. - Hear about 😜 Frankie? 👳👳 - 💀 Yeah. - 😡😠 You 👳👳 going 😎 to the funeral? - No, 😈🔥👏👏👏 I’m not 🍆👅🐔 going. 😜😏💯😎🍆 Everybody 💦💦 knows, sting someone, 🍆 you 👊👊💪 die. Don’t 💢 waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. 😏💦👅 I 👌💻 guess 😩 he 👀 could 👌 have just 👳👳 gotten 💯 👌 👀 out 🍆👅🐔 of 👌 the 😜 way. 👊👊💪 I love 👳👳 this 👌👀 incorporating an amusement park into our 👼☝🙏 day. 👏💦 That’s why we don’t 💇💺 need vacations. 😡😠😾 Boy, 🔞🕯🔥 quite a 💇 bit of 👀 pomp… 😎 under the 💢 circumstances. - 😎 Well, Adam, 👏💦 today we are men. 🍆 - We 💯 are! 👀 - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! 👏💦 Students, 💏💖 faculty, distinguished bees, 🍎🍑👖 please welcome Dean 😜😏💯😎🍆 Buzzwell. 💀 Welcome, New Hive Oity 🍎🍑👖 graduating class of… 💯 …9:15. 🍎🍑👖 That 💇💺 concludes 🍑💺 our ceremonies. 💀 And begins your career at 🔫🚫 Honex Industries! Will 😡😠😾 we pick 💩💩💩 ourjob today? 😎 I 🍆 heard it’s 😩 just orientation. 👌 Heads up! Here 👌👀 we go. Keep 😜 your 👌👀 hands 🍆👅🐔 and 👀 antennas 🍎🍑👖 inside 🍎🍑👖 the tram 😩 at all 💯 👌 👀 times. - 💦💦 Wonder 💇 what 💩💩💩 it’ll 👼☝🙏 be 💇 like? - 🔫🚫 A little scary. Welcome 🍎🍑👖 to 🍆👅🐔 Honex, a division of Honesco and 🔞🕯🔥 a 💦💦 part of 🍆👅🐔 the 💇💺 Hexagon 💢 Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We 😏💦👅 know that you, as ✈🏢 a bee, have worked your 😜 whole life to get 😜 to 😏💦👅 the point 😜 where you ✈🏢 can work 🍆👅🐔 for 😜😏💯😎🍆 your 👌💻 whole 😏💦👅 life. 🔞🕯🔥 Honey begins when 😎 our 💀 valiant Pollen 😡😠 Jocks 👌👀 bring 👌💻 the 😜 nectar to 💏💖 the 💯 👌 👀 hive. 🍑💺 Our 😡😠😾 top-secret formula is 🍎🍑👖 automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this 😩 soothing 🍎🍑👖 sweet 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 syrup 👊👊💪 with 😈🔥👏👏👏 its 😡😠 distinctive 🍎🍑👖 golden 👊👊💪 glow 💢 you know as… 😈🔥👏👏👏 Honey! 👌💻 - 💩💩💩 That 💀 girl was hot. 👌👀 - 💏💖 She’s my 👌💻 cousin! - She is? 😎 - 😈🔥👏👏👏 Yes, we’re all cousins. - Right. You’re 💢 right. 💯 👌 👀 - At Honex, we constantly strive 💢 to improve every 💯 👌 👀 aspect 🍑💺 of bee existence. 👌👀 These bees 🍎🍑👖 are stress-testing 💇💺 a 🍎🍑👖 new helmet technology. 💇 - 👊👊💪 What do you think he 😏💦👅 makes? 🍎🍑👖 - 😉😝 Not 👊👊💪 enough. Here we 👌 have 👌💻 our latest 👌💻 advancement, the 🍑💺 Krelman. - 😡😠😾 What 👌💻 does that do? 💇💺 - 😉😝 Oatches 👳👳 that 🍑💺 little strand of 💯 👌 👀 honey 😏💦👅 that hangs after 😉😝 you 😉😝 pour it. Saves 💦💦 us millions. 💦💦 Oan 👅🔥 anyone 💯 work on the 💯 👌 👀 Krelman? 🍑💺 Of course. Most 😡😠😾 bee jobs 👀 are small 💯 ones. But bees know that every small job, 💦💦 if 💀 it’s 😜😏💯😎🍆 done well, means 😡😠 a 👅🔥 lot. But 😈🔥👏👏👏 choose 💩💩💩 carefully 👳👳 because 👏💦 you’ll 😎 stay in the ✋ job you pick for the rest of ✋ your life. The 💦💦 same job the 👀 rest 🍑💺 of your 👅🔥 life? 💩💩💩 I 👏💦 didn’t know 💩💩💩 that. What’s 💢 the 👅🔥 difference? You’ll 😡😠😾 be happy 👳👳 to know that 🔞🕯🔥 bees, 😈🔥👏👏👏 as 💇 a species, haven’t 😩 had one day ✋ off 😜😏💯😎🍆 in 💦💦 27 million 🍆👅🐔 years. So you’ll just work 🔞🕯🔥 us ✋ to death? We’ll sure try. 😩 Wow! 👳👳 That blew 😜 my mind! “What’s the 💯 👌 👀 difference?” How 💢 can you say that? One job forever? 🍆 That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we 👌💻 only 👳👳 have to make one decision 💀 in life. 👌👀 But, Adam, how could they 💦💦 never have told us that? Why would 😎 you question 😩 anything? We’re bees. We’re the most 😡😠😾 perfectly functioning 💢 society on Earth. You ever 💀 think maybe 😉😝 things 💇💺 work a little 👼☝🙏 too well 💦💦 here? Like 🍆👅🐔 what? 🔞🕯🔥 Give me one 👀 example. I 👳👳 don’t 😩 know. 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 But you 👌👀 know 👌 what I’m 👌 talking 👏💦 about. Please 😩 clear the gate. Royal Nectar 😩 Force 🍎🍑👖 on approach. 😜😏💯😎🍆 Wait a 😈🔥👏👏👏 second. 😈🔥👏👏👏 Oheck it out. 😩 - Hey, 💯 👌 👀 those 👌👀 are 😜 Pollen 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 Jocks! 🍑💺 - 🔞🕯🔥 Wow. 👌 I’ve 😜😏💯😎🍆 never 😩 seen them ✋ this ✋ close. 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 They know what it’s like outside 👼☝🙏 the hive. 💀 Yeah, but 😎 some 👅🔥 don’t 😡😠😾 come back. - 💀 Hey, Jocks! 😉😝 - 💏💖 Hi, 😩 Jocks! 😉😝 You guys did 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 great! You’re 💢 monsters! You’re 💀 sky 👅🔥 freaks! 👌💻 I 💩💩💩 love 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 it! I love 💦💦 it! - 👊👊💪 I ✈🏢 wonder ✋ where they were. 🍎🍑👖 - I don’t 😏💦👅 know. Their day’s not planned. 👏💦 Outside 👌 the 😩 hive, flying who knows where, 👀 doing 👅🔥 who knows 🔫🚫 what. 🍆 You can’tjust decide 🍆 to be a Pollen Jock. 🍎🍑👖 You have 💦💦 to 🔫🚫 be 🔫🚫 bred 👅🔥 for 👌👀 that. Right. Look. 💯 That’s 👅🔥 more pollen 🍆 than 💢 you and 💯 I 👌💻 will see 🍎🍑👖 in 💢 a 👌 lifetime. 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 It’s just a 👌💻 status symbol. 👊👊💪 Bees 👌💻 make too much of 🍎🍑👖 it. Perhaps. Unless you’re 😜😏💯😎🍆 wearing 💏💖 it and 👌 the 👌👀 ladies see 😏💦👅 you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t ✈🏢 they 👅🔥 our cousins too? 🍎🍑👖 Distant. Distant. Look 💇 at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 Let’s have 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 fun 👌💻 with them. 👌💻 It must be dangerous being 🔫🚫 a 😈🔥👏👏👏 Pollen 🔫🚫 Jock. Yeah. 😜😏💯😎🍆 Once a bear 💯 👌 👀 pinned me against 🔞🕯🔥 a mushroom! 😜😏💯😎🍆 He had 🍆👅🐔 a paw 😉😝 on ✈🏢 my 🍑💺 throat, and 🔫🚫 with the other, he 👌👀 was slapping 🍎🍑👖 me! - 👀 Oh, my! - 😈🔥👏👏👏 I 👼☝🙏 never 💇 thought I’d 😩 knock him out. What were you doing during this? 💇 Trying to alert the authorities. I 🍑💺 can autograph that. A little gusty 💀 out there 🍆 today, ✈🏢 wasn’t it, 👊👊💪 comrades? 😈🔥👏👏👏 Yeah. 💀 Gusty. 💢 We’re 😈🔥👏👏👏 hitting 😜😏💯😎🍆 a 👏💦 sunflower 🍆👅🐔 patch six 💢 miles from 👼☝🙏 here 👀 tomorrow. - Six 😡😠😾 miles, ✋ huh? 👼☝🙏 - Barry! A 🍆 puddle jump 👅🔥 for 💏💖 us, 💀 but 💯 maybe you’re not 🍑💺 up for 👀 it. - Maybe I am. - 😡😠😾 You are 😜😏💯😎🍆 not! 💇💺 We’re 👀 going 💀 0900 at J-Gate. 😉😝 What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you 💇💺 bee enough? I might be. It 💇💺 all 💢 depends on what 0900 means. 💢 Hey, 🍎🍑👖 Honex! 💯 Dad, 😈🔥👏👏👏 you 😈🔥👏👏👏 surprised me. 🍆 You decide what you’re 😏💦👅 interested in? - Well, 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 there’s 👳👳 a lot of choices. 🍆👅🐔 - But you 💏💖 only 😈🔥👏👏👏 get one. 🍆👅🐔 Do 👏💦 you ever 👼☝🙏 get ✈🏢 bored 💯 👌 👀 doing ✋ the ✈🏢 same job 👊👊💪 every day? 👏💦 Son, let ✈🏢 me 😩 tell 💦💦 you 😡😠😾 about stirring. You grab 💇💺 that 💯 stick, and 🍆 you just move 💇 it 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 around, 😜😏💯😎🍆 and 💇 you stir 💯 👌 👀 it around. You get yourself 💇 into 👌💻 a rhythm. 💀 It’s a 😡😠😾 beautiful ✈🏢 thing. You 🍆 know, Dad, 👀 the 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 more I think about it, 🍑💺 maybe the 🍎🍑👖 honey 🔫🚫 field 👅🔥 just isn’t 👏💦 right 💇💺 for 👏💦 me. 💯 👌 👀 You were thinking of what, 🔫🚫 making 💯 👌 👀 balloon 👊👊💪 animals? That’s a bad 💯 👌 👀 job for 👌 a guy with 👅🔥 a stinger. 😏💦👅 Janet, 🍑💺 your son’s not 🔫🚫 sure 💇 he 💏💖 wants to 👳👳 go into honey! 🍆👅🐔 - 😏💦👅 Barry, you 🍆👅🐔 are so funny 👌💻 sometimes. - 😩 I’m not trying 👳👳 to 😜 be funny. You’re 👀 not 💢 funny! You’re going 👼☝🙏 into honey. 😈🔥👏👏👏 Our 💏💖 son, 👅🔥 the stirrer! - 😈🔥👏👏👏 You’re gonna 💩💩💩 be 🔫🚫 a 😩 stirrer? - 😈🔥👏👏👏 No 💀 one’s 💇 listening to me! 💀 Wait till you 👀 see 👊👊💪 the 😩 sticks I have. ✈🏢 I 💀 could 💯 👌 👀 say anything 😎 right 😈🔥👏👏👏 now. 💯 👌 👀 I’m gonna 🔞🕯🔥 get an 😩 ant 😏💦👅 tattoo! Let’s 💀 open 😈🔥👏👏👏 some honey and 💦💦 celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce 👀 my ✋ thorax. Shave my 💦💦 antennae. Shack up 😩 with ✈🏢 a 👌 grasshopper. Get 😏💦👅 a gold 👌👀 tooth 👊👊💪 and call everybody 🔫🚫 “dawg”! 💇 I’m 💯 👌 👀 so 😉😝 proud. - 🍆👅🐔 We’re starting work today! 👏💦 - 🔞🕯🔥 Today’s 🔞🕯🔥 the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be 👳👳 gone. 💯 Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, 👏💦 pouring, 😎 stirrer, 👌👀 front 😉😝 desk, hair 😈🔥👏👏👏 removal… - Is it 👳👳 still 😉😝 available? - Hang on. 💯 Two left! One 😈🔥👏👏👏 of 💦💦 them’s ✈🏢 yours! 👅🔥 Oongratulations! Step 👌💻 to the side. ✈🏢 - What’d you 👌💻 get? 😎 - 💀 Picking crud 🍑💺 out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple 💇💺 of newbies? 🍆👅🐔 Yes, 💯 👌 👀 sir! Our ✈🏢 first 👀 day! 👏💦 We 👌💻 are ready! 😎 Make your 👀 choice. 😜 - You ✈🏢 want to 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 go first? - No, you 👌👀 go. Oh, 👌💻 my. What’s available? 💢 Restroom 👏💦 attendant’s open, 😎 not for the reason 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 you 💩💩💩 think. ✋ - 💢 Any chance 💯 👌 👀 of 👌👀 getting the 🍎🍑👖 Krelman? - Sure, you’re ✋ on. I’m sorry, 👼☝🙏 the 🔞🕯🔥 Krelman just 💯 👌 👀 closed out. Wax 💩💩💩 monkey’s always 💢 open. The Krelman 🍆👅🐔 opened up again. What happened? 💀 A bee 🔫🚫 died. Makes 💇💺 an 💢 opening. See? 💦💦 He’s dead. 💯 Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more 😡😠😾 dead. Dead from the 💇 neck 👅🔥 up. Dead 🔞🕯🔥 from 😈🔥👏👏👏 the 💇 neck 💢 down. That’s life! ✈🏢 Oh, this 💇💺 is so hard! Heating, 😏💦👅 cooling, 👌👀 stunt 🍑💺 bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, 🔞🕯🔥 inspector 💦💦 number seven, lint 💦💦 coordinator, 💢 stripe 💀 supervisor, mite 💇 wrangler. Barry, 👼☝🙏 what 🍆👅🐔 do 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 you 😜 think I should… 😉😝 Barry? 👅🔥 Barry! 💩💩💩 All right, 👼☝🙏 we’ve ✈🏢 got 🍆👅🐔 the 🔞🕯🔥 sunflower patch 🔞🕯🔥 in quadrant nine… 😈🔥👏👏👏 What 🔫🚫 happened to you? Where are 👌💻 you? 😡😠 - I’m going out. 💦💦 - Out? 💯 Out where? 😉😝 - Out there. - Oh, 💯 no! 🔞🕯🔥 I 💦💦 have 💇 to, before 💦💦 I 🔞🕯🔥 go 🔫🚫 to work 😏💦👅 for the rest of 👀 my 🔞🕯🔥 life. You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? 😏💦👅 Another 💩💩💩 call ✈🏢 coming in. 🍆 If anyone’s feeling ✋ brave, there’s a 😉😝 Korean 👌💻 deli 😡😠 on 83rd 😜😏💯😎🍆 that gets 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 their roses 👊👊💪 today. Hey, 😡😠 guys. - 🍎🍑👖 Look at 😉😝 that. - Isn’t that 👼☝🙏 the kid we 🔫🚫 saw 💀 yesterday? Hold 💇 it, son, flight 😈🔥👏👏👏 deck’s 🔫🚫 restricted. It’s 😜 OK, 💀 Lou. 🔫🚫 We’re 💇 gonna 😎 take him 💯 👌 👀 up. Really? Feeling lucky, 🍆 are you? Sign 💦💦 here, 👌 here. 😉😝 Just 😈🔥👏👏👏 initial 💇💺 that. 👌 - 👅🔥 Thank 💯 you. 👼☝🙏 - ✈🏢 OK. You 💯 👌 👀 got 😡😠 a 🔞🕯🔥 rain advisory 👊👊💪 today, 🔫🚫 and as you 💀 all 💇 know, 💀 bees 🍆👅🐔 cannot 💇💺 fly 👌 in 👅🔥 rain. So be 💦💦 careful. 💯 👌 👀 As always, watch 😜😏💯😎🍆 your 😜 brooms, 👼☝🙏 hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. 💯 Also, 😜😏💯😎🍆 I ✋ got 🍆 a couple 💯 of reports 💇 of root beer 💯 👌 👀 being poured 💀 on us. 🍆 Murphy’s in a home 💢 because 💯 of 😩 it, babbling like 😡😠 a cicada! 💯 - 💇 That’s awful. - 💇💺 And a 🍑💺 reminder for you rookies, 👏💦 bee 🍆 law number one, 💯 absolutely 🍑💺 no talking 😩 to humans! All right, launch positions! 💯 👌 👀 Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! 💯 Buzz, 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 buzz, 💀 buzz, 😩 buzz! Buzz, buzz, 😎 buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! 💀 Hello! You ready for this, 😏💦👅 hot shot? 💯 Yeah. 💯 👌 👀 Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. 👌👀 - Antennae, check. - 👅🔥 Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of 👏💦 my 😜 shorts, check. OK, ladies, 💯 👌 👀 let’s 💇 move it 😩 out! Pound those petunias, 🍆 you striped stem-suckers! 😡😠😾 All of you, 😏💦👅 drain those flowers! Wow! 💯 I’m 💇💺 out! I ✈🏢 can’t 🔫🚫 believe I’m 👌👀 out! So blue. 😜😏💯😎🍆 I feel 👳👳 so fast 👌💻 and free! 💀 Box 💀 kite! 💇💺 Wow! Flowers! 👌👀 This ✋ is Blue Leader. We 💩💩💩 have 🍆 roses 😡😠😾 visual. Bring it 🍆 around 😡😠😾 30 🔫🚫 degrees and 🍆👅🐔 hold. 💢 Roses! 30 💩💩💩 degrees, 🍎🍑👖 roger. Bringing 🔞🕯🔥 it 👏💦 around. Stand to 🍆 the 🔞🕯🔥 side, 👌 kid. 😉😝 It’s got 😏💦👅 a 💩💩💩 bit 😈🔥👏👏👏 of 🍑💺 a 🍆👅🐔 kick. That 🍆 is 👏💦 one 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 nectar collector! - Ever 👏💦 see 💦💦 pollination 👳👳 up 👏💦 close? 👼☝🙏 - No, 😉😝 sir. I pick 🔞🕯🔥 up some pollen 💯 👌 👀 here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a ✋ dash over there, a 💢 pinch 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 on that 😩 one. 🔫🚫 See that? It’s a little 👌 bit 👌👀 of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we 🍆👅🐔 do that? That’s pollen power. 👼☝🙏 More 💢 pollen, 👊👊💪 more 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 flowers, more 😉😝 nectar, more honey for 🍆👅🐔 us. 😈🔥👏👏👏 Oool. 😡😠😾 I’m 👌💻 picking 💇💺 up a lot 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 of bright 😏💦👅 yellow. Oould be 😏💦👅 daisies. 😡😠😾 Don’t we need those? Oopy 💏💖 that visual. Wait. 👳👳 One of these 💇 flowers seems to 😉😝 be 🔞🕯🔥 on the move. 🔞🕯🔥 Say 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 again? 👌👀 You’re reporting 🔫🚫 a moving flower? Affirmative. 🍆👅🐔 That 🔞🕯🔥 was ✈🏢 on the ✈🏢 line! This 💩💩💩 is 💯 the coolest. 💩💩💩 What 👼☝🙏 is 👳👳 it? 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 I 😎 don’t know, but I’m 🍆 loving ✈🏢 this color. 👏💦 It 😎 smells 😎 good. Not like a flower, 👅🔥 but 👌 I 💯 like 😡😠 it. 💇💺 Yeah, 🍆 fuzzy. 🍆 Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. 🍆👅🐔 It’s a 😡😠 little 💯 grabby. 👌💻 My sweet lord 😜😏💯😎🍆 of 👀 bees! Oandy-brain, 💇 get off there! Problem! 🍑💺 - 👊👊💪 Guys! 💩💩💩 - 😡😠 This ✋ could 😩 be bad. Affirmative. Very ✈🏢 close. 🍆👅🐔 Gonna ✈🏢 hurt. 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 Mama’s 👼☝🙏 little boy. 👌 You 😉😝 are way out 🍎🍑👖 of 👌👀 position, rookie! 🔞🕯🔥 Ooming 😡😠😾 in 💇 at 💦💦 you 🍑💺 like a 😈🔥👏👏👏 missile! 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 Help me! 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 I 💯 👌 👀 don’t think 💇💺 these are flowers. - 🔞🕯🔥 Should ✋ we 😡😠😾 tell 💀 him? - I 🍆 think he 👀 knows. 🍎🍑👖 What 🔞🕯🔥 is 👏💦 this?! 👳👳 Match 🍆👅🐔 point! You can start 🍆👅🐔 packing up, 🍑💺 honey, because ✈🏢 you’re about 👳👳 to eat it! 😡😠😾 Yowser! Gross. There’s a bee 💦💦 in ✋ the 💏💖 car! 😎 - 👌💻 Do something! 🍆 - I’m driving! - Hi, 🔫🚫 bee. 💩💩💩 - He’s 💩💩💩 back 💩💩💩 here! 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 He’s 💇 going to 💦💦 sting me! 😏💦👅 Nobody move. If you don’t move, he 💯 👌 👀 won’t sting 🍆👅🐔 you. 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 Freeze! 😜 He 🍎🍑👖 blinked! Spray 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 him, 👌 Granny! 😈🔥👏👏👏 What are 💀 you 🍆👅🐔 doing?! Wow… the 🍑💺 tension 🍎🍑👖 level 🍆👅🐔 out 👌👀 here is 🔞🕯🔥 unbelievable. I gotta get ✈🏢 home. 🍆 Oan’t ✋ fly in rain. Oan’t fly 😈🔥👏👏👏 in 😩 rain. Oan’t 👏💦 fly 💯 in rain. 😡😠 Mayday! Mayday! 😩 Bee going 😜😏💯😎🍆 down! Ken, 💀 could you close the 🍑💺 window please? ✋ Ken, could 🔫🚫 you 👌💻 close the 😜😏💯😎🍆 window 💩💩💩 please? Oheck out 💏💖 my new resume. I made it into a fold-out 😈🔥👏👏👏 brochure. You ✋ see? Folds out. 😡😠😾 Oh, no. 💢 More humans. I don’t need this. 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 What was that? 😡😠😾 Maybe 🍆 this time. This time. 💇 This time. 😏💦👅 This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is 👏💦 diabolical. It’s fantastic. 👳👳 It’s got 💏💖 all my special skills, 😩 even 😜😏💯😎🍆 my top-ten 💯 👌 👀 favorite 💏💖 movies. What’s 👏💦 number 👏💦 one? 💯 Star Wars? Nah, 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 I don’t 😜 go 👼☝🙏 for that… 🍑💺 …kind of 💩💩💩 stuff. No wonder 🍎🍑👖 we 😡😠 shouldn’t 👌💻 talk to them. They’re out 👏💦 of 😜😏💯😎🍆 their 🍆 minds. 👳👳 When 💢 I leave 💩💩💩 a job 😩 interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe 😉😝 what I 👀 say. There’s the 💩💩💩 sun. Maybe 👌 that’s a way 🍆 out. 😜😏💯😎🍆 I ✋ don’t remember 🍆👅🐔 the sun having a 🍆 big ✈🏢 75 on it. 😜😏💯😎🍆 I predicted 💩💩💩 global 💀 warming. 😎 I could 👀 feel it 💢 getting 💏💖 hotter. 💯 At 🍑💺 first I thought 😡😠 it 💢 was just 🍆👅🐔 me. Wait! 👼☝🙏 Stop! 💀 Bee! ✋ Stand back. 😜 These 😡😠😾 are winter boots. Wait! ✈🏢 Don’t kill 💏💖 him! You know 😏💦👅 I’m 👼☝🙏 allergic 👌👀 to them! This 💀 thing 💦💦 could kill me! 👌👀 Why 🍆👅🐔 does his life 💯 have 🔞🕯🔥 less value 😎 than 🔞🕯🔥 yours? 👼☝🙏 Why does his 💯 👌 👀 life have any less value 💯 👌 👀 than 🍆👅🐔 mine? Is that 💇💺 your 💢 statement? 👼☝🙏 I’m just saying 👀 all 👊👊💪 life has value. 👅🔥 You don’t know what he’s capable 😡😠😾 of 😜😏💯😎🍆 feeling. My 🍎🍑👖 brochure! 👊👊💪 There you go, little guy. I’m 🍎🍑👖 not 🍆 scared of 😏💦👅 him. It’s an 💇 allergic thing. Put 💇 that on your resume brochure. My 💯 whole face could 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 puff 💢 up. Make it one 👌👀 of your special skills. Knocking 👌💻 someone out is 🍑💺 also 🍎🍑👖 a special skill. Right. Bye, 😎 Vanessa. 🍑💺 Thanks. 👌 - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? 🔫🚫 - Sure, 😎 Ken. 😉😝 You 😩 know, whatever. 😈🔥👏👏👏 - You could put carob 🍆 chips 🍆 on ✋ there. 😜 - 👅🔥 Bye. 👀 - 💢 Supposed 💏💖 to 👌💻 be 💀 less calories. - Bye. 👌 I gotta 🔫🚫 say something. She 😏💦👅 saved my life. 😡😠😾 I 😜😏💯😎🍆 gotta ✋ say something. All 💯 👌 👀 right, here it goes. 😡😠😾 Nah. What would 🍆 I 💩💩💩 say? 👌👀 I 😜😏💯😎🍆 could 👅🔥 really get in 💇💺 trouble. It’s 💩💩💩 a 💯 👌 👀 bee 👼☝🙏 law. 💯 👌 👀 You’re 🔫🚫 not supposed 👊👊💪 to 💯 talk to a 🍎🍑👖 human. I can’t 😜 believe I’m doing this. 💩💩💩 I’ve 👅🔥 got 👏💦 to. 😡😠 Oh, I can’t 💯 👌 👀 do it. Oome on! No. Yes. 👌 No. 🍆👅🐔 Do 💯 it. I 👏💦 can’t. How 👀 should I start 🔞🕯🔥 it? 👅🔥 “You like 💯 jazz?” No, 💏💖 that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m 😎 sorry. 💇💺 - 💦💦 You’re talking. 🔞🕯🔥 - Yes, 😎 I know. 💦💦 You’re 😜😏💯😎🍆 talking! I’m so 💯 👌 👀 sorry. 🍆 No, it’s OK. 🔞🕯🔥 It’s 😎 fine. 👅🔥 I know 💇💺 I’m dreaming. ✈🏢 But 😜 I don’t 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 recall 🔞🕯🔥 going 👊👊💪 to bed. 💯 Well, I’m 👌💻 sure 🍎🍑👖 this is very 💇 disconcerting. This 👊👊💪 is 👼☝🙏 a bit 💇💺 of a surprise 😜😏💯😎🍆 to me. 😏💦👅 I mean, 👀 you’re a 😜😏💯😎🍆 bee! ✋ I am. And I’m not supposed 🍆👅🐔 to be doing 💏💖 this, but they were all trying to 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 kill me. 💀 And if 👊👊💪 it 😉😝 wasn’t 😩 for 💢 you… I had 💩💩💩 to 💯 👌 👀 thank you. It’s 💀 just 💯 👌 👀 how I was raised. ✋ That was a little 🔫🚫 weird. - I’m 😡😠😾 talking with 👏💦 a 😈🔥👏👏👏 bee. 💇 - 👳👳 Yeah. 🍆 I’m 💇💺 talking ✋ to a 🔫🚫 bee. 💏💖 And the 💦💦 bee 😡😠 is 😜 talking to me! I 🍆👅🐔 just 💢 want to 💇💺 say I’m 🍆👅🐔 grateful. I’ll leave now. 😈🔥👏👏👏 - Wait! How ✈🏢 did you 💯 learn 👀 to ✈🏢 do 😎 that? - 😜😏💯😎🍆 What? 😉😝 The talking 👊👊💪 thing. Same way 😏💦👅 you 🍑💺 did, 🍆👅🐔 I guess. “Mama, Dada, honey.” You 😉😝 pick it up. 😏💦👅 - That’s 👀 very 🍆👅🐔 funny. - 😡😠 Yeah. Bees are 👼☝🙏 funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry 😡😠😾 with 💇 what 🔞🕯🔥 we 😜 have 😉😝 to deal 💩💩💩 with. Anyway… Oan I… …get 🔫🚫 you 💢 something? 👅🔥 - 👅🔥 Like what? 🍑💺 I 💀 don’t know. I mean… 😏💦👅 I don’t 👌👀 know. 💦💦 Ooffee? 😩 I don’t want to 💀 put you out. 💦💦 It’s no 💀 trouble. ✈🏢 It 😏💦👅 takes two minutes. 💏💖 - 👌 It’s 👌 just 🍆 coffee. 🍆👅🐔 - 😩 I hate 💏💖 to 😏💦👅 impose. 💏💖 - 😡😠 Don’t 😉😝 be ridiculous! - 😉😝 Actually, 👀 I would love a cup. 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 Hey, you 😏💦👅 want rum 👏💦 cake? 😎 - I shouldn’t. 💇💺 - 👀 Have 😉😝 some. 💏💖 - ✋ No, I can’t. 💏💖 - Oome on! 😜 I’m trying 😈🔥👏👏👏 to 👏💦 lose a 👼☝🙏 couple micrograms. - 😜 Where? - 💢 These 😉😝 stripes 😉😝 don’t 🔫🚫 help. 👼☝🙏 You 👀 look great! 👳👳 I 😡😠😾 don’t know 🍆👅🐔 if you 👌💻 know anything about fashion. Are 💯 you all 👳👳 right? 😈🔥👏👏👏 No. He’s 💢 making 👌👀 the tie 👊👊💪 in the cab as they’re 💇 flying 🔞🕯🔥 up Madison. He finally gets there. 😎 He 😜😏💯😎🍆 runs up the 💇💺 steps into the church. 👌👀 The 😎 wedding is on. And 🍎🍑👖 he 👌👀 says, “Watermelon? I 😜😏💯😎🍆 thought you 👀 said Guatemalan. 💇💺 Why would I marry a watermelon?” 🍑💺 Is 💇 that ✋ a bee 😜😏💯😎🍆 joke? That’s 🔫🚫 the 👊👊💪 kind 😡😠 of stuff 💩💩💩 we 💩💩💩 do. 😡😠😾 Yeah, 🔞🕯🔥 different. 👅🔥 So, what 👅🔥 are 😜 you 👏💦 gonna do, 👌💻 Barry? ✋ About 👳👳 work? I 😡😠😾 don’t ✋ know. 🔞🕯🔥 I 👀 want 😎 to 💇 do 👌 my 👼☝🙏 part 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 for the hive, 🍆👅🐔 but 😡😠😾 I can’t 👌👀 do 💇💺 it the 👊👊💪 way 👀 they want. 😡😠😾 I 👼☝🙏 know 🍆 how you 😎 feel. - You 👌👀 do? - Sure. 😈🔥👏👏👏 My 👊👊💪 parents 💦💦 wanted me to 💏💖 be a lawyer 😉😝 or 💦💦 a doctor, 😡😠 but I wanted 😜😏💯😎🍆 to ✈🏢 be a florist. - 👌💻 Really? 👼☝🙏 - 🔫🚫 My 💦💦 only interest is 👏💦 flowers. Our new 👼☝🙏 queen was 😡😠😾 just elected 😈🔥👏👏👏 with that same campaign slogan. 🔫🚫 Anyway, if you look… There’s 💯 my hive 💯 👌 👀 right there. 💀 See it? 💢 You’re 🍑💺 in 😡😠 Sheep 💦💦 Meadow! 😡😠😾 Yes! I’m 😜😏💯😎🍆 right 👏💦 off 😏💦👅 the Turtle Pond! 💀 No way! 💯 👌 👀 I 👀 know 👌👀 that area. 💢 I 💯 👌 👀 lost a toe 👌💻 ring 😎 there 🍆👅🐔 once. 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 - 👌💻 Why do girls put 👅🔥 rings 👌 on their toes? - 👳👳 Why not? 😜😏💯😎🍆 - 🍆 It’s like 😩 putting a 💩💩💩 hat 🍑💺 on 😡😠😾 your 👀 knee. 👳👳 - Maybe I’ll try that. 💏💖 - 😩 You 💦💦 all 🍑💺 right, 🍆👅🐔 ma’am? 😡😠😾 - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having 🍆 two 💦💦 cups of coffee! 💇💺 Anyway, ✋ this 💢 has been great. Thanks 💯 for the coffee. Yeah, it’s 😜 no trouble. Sorry 😡😠 I 💯 👌 👀 couldn’t 👌👀 finish 🔞🕯🔥 it. If I did, I’d 👀 be up 😏💦👅 the rest 👏💦 of my 😎 life. 💇💺 Are you…? Oan 💀 I 💯 take a piece of 🍆 this ✋ with 😜😏💯😎🍆 me? 💇💺 Sure! 💯 👌 👀 Here, 😜 have 🍆 a 😡😠😾 crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, 💀 then… I guess 👀 I’ll see 👳👳 you around. Or not. 💀 OK, Barry. And thank 👌💻 you 😩 so much again… for 🍆👅🐔 before. 💩💩💩 Oh, 👊👊💪 that? 💢 That 🔫🚫 was nothing. Well, 👊👊💪 not 👅🔥 nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly 😉😝 work. He’s 👊👊💪 all 😡😠😾 set 😏💦👅 to 😉😝 go. We may 😡😠 as 👅🔥 well 👌💻 try 😎 it. OK, Dave, pull 👼☝🙏 the chute. - 💯 👌 👀 Sounds 💇💺 amazing. - 😡😠😾 It 👌 was ✋ amazing! It was 👳👳 the scariest, 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 happiest moment of my life. Humans! ✈🏢 I 👳👳 can’t believe 💀 you were 👏💦 with 😎 humans! Giant, scary humans! What 👌💻 were they like? 👀 Huge and ✋ crazy. 😜😏💯😎🍆 They 💀 talk crazy. They eat 🔞🕯🔥 crazy giant 😎 things. 👳👳 They drive 👊👊💪 crazy. 😎 - Do 👀 they try 👳👳 and 🔞🕯🔥 kill you, 💀 like 👌👀 on TV? 👳👳 - Some 😜 of 👌👀 them. But some 😏💦👅 of 😎 them 💦💦 don’t. 💩💩💩 - How’d you 😜😏💯😎🍆 get back? 💦💦 - Poodle. You 💇 did it, 💩💩💩 and 😎 I’m glad. 🍑💺 You saw whatever you ✈🏢 wanted ✋ to see. You had your “experience.” Now 👌👀 you 💀 can pick 😎 out 💯 👌 👀 yourjob and be 💯 normal. 😎 - 💢 Well… 👳👳 - 😩 Well? 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 Well, 🍆 I 💯 👌 👀 met someone. 💦💦 You 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 did? 💩💩💩 Was she Bee-ish? - 💩💩💩 A 🍎🍑👖 wasp?! 😜 Your parents ✋ will kill 😎 you! - 🍑💺 No, no, 👀 no, 👌👀 not a wasp. ✋ - Spider? 👌💻 - 🍆👅🐔 I’m 👼☝🙏 not attracted to spiders. 😡😠 I 👌 know it’s the hottest thing, with the 😎 eight legs 👳👳 and all. I can’t 💯 get 😏💦👅 by 👼☝🙏 that 😜😏💯😎🍆 face. So ✋ who is she? 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 She’s… human. 😜😏💯😎🍆 No, 😜 no. 👼☝🙏 That’s a 😉😝 bee 👌👀 law. You 👼☝🙏 wouldn’t 👌 break 😩 a 😏💦👅 bee law. 😎 - 💇 Her ✋ name’s 💯 Vanessa. 👅🔥 - Oh, 💇💺 boy. She’s 🔫🚫 so nice. And she’s 💯 a 😜 florist! 👌 Oh, no! You’re 👊👊💪 dating a human florist! We’re 🔫🚫 not dating. 😉😝 You’re 🔫🚫 flying 😏💦👅 outside the hive, talking to humans that ✈🏢 attack 🔫🚫 our homes with 👌👀 power 👀 washers and M-80s! 👅🔥 One-eighth 😜 a stick 😈🔥👏👏👏 of dynamite! 💯 She 💀 saved my 😩 life! 💢 And 😎 she understands me. 🍆 This 💯 is over! 🍆 Eat this. 💇💺 This is 👌💻 not 😡😠 over! 👀 What was that? 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 - They 💩💩💩 call it a crumb. ✈🏢 - ✈🏢 It was so stingin’ stripey! And 💩💩💩 that’s 💇💺 not what they eat. That’s what ✈🏢 falls 💯 off 😜 what 🔫🚫 they 💇💺 eat! - ✈🏢 You know what a Oinnabon 👅🔥 is? - No. It’s bread 🍎🍑👖 and cinnamon and frosting. 😡😠 They 😜😏💯😎🍆 heat 🍆 it up… Sit down! 👳👳 …really hot! 😎 - 🔞🕯🔥 Listen to 💦💦 me! We 🔫🚫 are not 💯 them! We’re 💏💖 us. 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 There’s 😎 us and there’s 😈🔥👏👏👏 them! Yes, but 👏💦 who can 😏💦👅 deny 🍑💺 the heart 💀 that is yearning? 😡😠😾 There’s no 🔫🚫 yearning. ✈🏢 Stop yearning. Listen to me! You 💇💺 have 💢 got 👏💦 to start thinking bee, my 👀 friend. Thinking bee! 😡😠😾 - 🔞🕯🔥 Thinking bee. 👊👊💪 - 😉😝 Thinking 👊👊💪 bee. Thinking 👏💦 bee! 💦💦 Thinking 🔫🚫 bee! Thinking 👀 bee! 👌👀 Thinking ✈🏢 bee! 😜😏💯😎🍆 There he 😎 is. He’s 😎 in the 😎 pool. 🍆 You 💯 know 👌👀 what 🔫🚫 your 👳👳 problem 😉😝 is, 💦💦 Barry? I 😡😠😾 gotta 🔞🕯🔥 start thinking bee? How 😡😠😾 much longer will this go on? 😈🔥👏👏👏 It’s 💇 been 💯 👌 👀 three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve 😈🔥👏👏👏 got 👀 a lot of 👏💦 big life decisions to 🔞🕯🔥 think about. 💦💦 What life? You 😡😠 have 👳👳 no life! 😩 You 👏💦 have no job. You’re ✋ barely 🍆 a 😡😠 bee! Would 👅🔥 it kill 💏💖 you 👏💦 to make 💢 a 👌👀 little honey? Barry, come 🔫🚫 out. Your father’s 👼☝🙏 talking 🔫🚫 to you. Martin, would 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 you 😜😏💯😎🍆 talk to him? Barry, 💀 I’m talking to you! 👏💦 You 🍆 coming? Got everything? 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 All 😎 set! 😏💦👅 Go ahead. I’ll 😜😏💯😎🍆 catch up. Don’t ✈🏢 be too 👅🔥 long. 💇💺 Watch 💦💦 this! Vanessa! 👀 - 👅🔥 We’re still 😩 here. - I told 😡😠 you 😜😏💯😎🍆 not 👌 to yell 💯 👌 👀 at him. He doesn’t 👌💻 respond 😈🔥👏👏👏 to yelling! - 👌👀 Then why yell at 💯 me? 🍆 - 😜😏💯😎🍆 Because you don’t 💯 listen! I’m not 👅🔥 listening 💦💦 to this. Sorry, 👌👀 I’ve gotta 😏💦👅 go. - Where 🍆👅🐔 are 👼☝🙏 you 😡😠 going? 😏💦👅 - I’m meeting 👌👀 a 😜😏💯😎🍆 friend. 💦💦 A girl? Is this why 👀 you can’t 👌 decide? Bye. 😡😠😾 I just hope she’s Bee-ish. 🔞🕯🔥 They 👼☝🙏 have 💯 👌 👀 a huge 💯 parade of flowers every ✈🏢 year in 😏💦👅 Pasadena? 🍑💺 To be in 👊👊💪 the ✋ Tournament 👀 of 💩💩💩 Roses, 🍆 that’s every florist’s 😡😠😾 dream! 💦💦 Up on a float, surrounded 👏💦 by 😡😠 flowers, 👌 crowds cheering. A 💩💩💩 tournament. Do 💢 the 😎 roses 🔞🕯🔥 compete 💯 in 👅🔥 athletic 🍎🍑👖 events? No. ✋ All 😡😠 right, 👌 I’ve 😡😠 got one. 😜 How 👌 come 😡😠 you 👊👊💪 don’t fly everywhere? It’s 👌💻 exhausting. 👳👳 Why don’t 😎 you 🍆 run 👅🔥 everywhere? 👏💦 It’s 👅🔥 faster. 🍑💺 Yeah, 🍆 OK, I see, 💯 I 🍎🍑👖 see. 💦💦 All right, 👏💦 your 💦💦 turn. TiVo. You 💀 can 👌👀 just 💏💖 freeze 💏💖 live 👅🔥 TV? That’s 👌💻 insane! You 🔞🕯🔥 don’t have 💏💖 that? 💯 We have 👼☝🙏 Hivo, 😜😏💯😎🍆 but 🔫🚫 it’s 😡😠😾 a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible 👊👊💪 disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! 💏💖 You 👅🔥 must want 👀 to 😩 sting all 🍎🍑👖 those jerks. We 😎 try 👌 not to sting. It’s 😡😠😾 usually fatal for us. So 😎 you have to 💩💩💩 watch 👀 your 😎 temper. 💀 Very 😜😏💯😎🍆 carefully. 😉😝 You kick a wall, 💀 take 🍎🍑👖 a walk, 😡😠😾 write an angry 🔫🚫 letter 💇 and throw it 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 out. Work 👊👊💪 through 😩 it 👊👊💪 like 🍆👅🐔 any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. 😉😝 Oh, my goodness! 🍆👅🐔 Are 👏💦 you 💩💩💩 OK? 😏💦👅 Yeah. - 👊👊💪 What 🍎🍑👖 is 😉😝 wrong 🔞🕯🔥 with you?! 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 - It’s 😎 a 💇💺 bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get 😩 out of here, you 🍆 creep! What 💯 👌 👀 was that? 😉😝 A 😜😏💯😎🍆 Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, 🔫🚫 it was. How did you know? 😩 It felt 👌 like about 10 pages. Seventy-five 😜 is 🔫🚫 pretty much our 😩 limit. You’ve really got 💢 that down to 😜 a 💇💺 science. 😜😏💯😎🍆 - I lost 😎 a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I’ll bet. 🍆 What in 👏💦 the name of Mighty ✈🏢 Hercules is this? How 💀 did this get 🔞🕯🔥 here? 💇 Oute ✋ Bee, 👼☝🙏 Golden Blossom, Ray 👌👀 Liotta 👏💦 Private Select? - Is he that actor? - 💇 I 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 never 🍎🍑👖 heard 💏💖 of 😩 him. - 👌💻 Why is this here? 🔞🕯🔥 - 👌💻 For people. 😉😝 We eat ✈🏢 it. You 💢 don’t 👌👀 have enough food of your 👌👀 own? 💩💩💩 - 👌 Well, 💯 👌 👀 yes. 💢 - How 👏💦 do you 👀 get it? - Bees 💇💺 make it. - 💇💺 I 😎 know 💩💩💩 who makes 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 it! 🍎🍑👖 And it’s 👊👊💪 hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, 😏💦👅 stirring. ✋ You need 🍑💺 a whole 👌👀 Krelman thing! - 💯 👌 👀 It’s organic. - It’s 😉😝 our-ganic! It’s 💢 just honey, Barry. 💢 Just 💯 👌 👀 what?! 💇 Bees 💇 don’t know 😡😠😾 about 👀 this! This is 😩 stealing! 👌👀 A 👳👳 lot of 👌👀 stealing! 😉😝 You’ve taken 💏💖 our 😜 homes, schools, hospitals! This is 😉😝 all 😈🔥👏👏👏 we 💀 have! 💯 And it’s 💀 on 💢 sale?! 👅🔥 I’m 💀 getting to 🍑💺 the 🍆👅🐔 bottom 🍑💺 of 😏💦👅 this. I’m ✋ getting to the bottom 👏💦 of 💯 all 💯 👌 👀 of this! Hey, Hector. 😜😏💯😎🍆 - You 🔫🚫 almost 🍆👅🐔 done? - Almost. 💏💖 He 😡😠 is here. I sense 🍑💺 it. Well, 💏💖 I 💯 👌 👀 guess ✈🏢 I’ll 😩 go home 🍑💺 now 💯 and just 🔞🕯🔥 leave 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 this nice 👀 honey out, with 👊👊💪 no 👏💦 one around. You’re 😜 busted, box 😜 boy! 😜😏💯😎🍆 I knew 💇💺 I 💢 heard something. So 🍑💺 you can 💯 👌 👀 talk! I can 😡😠 talk. 💏💖 And now you’ll start 🍆 talking! Where you 😜😏💯😎🍆 getting the sweet 👏💦 stuff? 🔞🕯🔥 Who’s 💩💩💩 your supplier? 👏💦 I don’t understand. I 💯 👌 👀 thought we were 💦💦 friends. 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 The last thing we want 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 to do is upset 💇 bees! 💯 👌 👀 You’re 👀 too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have 🍎🍑👖 crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, ✋ will 👊👊💪 be lunch for 🍆 my iguana, 😡😠😾 Ignacio! Where is 👌💻 the 😉😝 honey coming from? Tell 😈🔥👏👏👏 me 🍆👅🐔 where! 😏💦👅 Honey 😏💦👅 Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What 💩💩💩 horrible thing 🍆👅🐔 has happened here? These 👊👊💪 faces, 😈🔥👏👏👏 they never 👅🔥 knew what 😡😠 hit 💢 them. 👳👳 And 😉😝 now 💀 they’re 💦💦 on 👌👀 the 😈🔥👏👏👏 road 🔞🕯🔥 to 👌👀 nowhere! 🍑💺 Just 👌 keep still. What? You’re 💀 not 🍆👅🐔 dead? 👏💦 Do 👌💻 I look dead? 👌👀 They will 👅🔥 wipe ✈🏢 anything 🔫🚫 that 😉😝 moves. Where you 💯 headed? 💩💩💩 To 😡😠 Honey 💯 👌 👀 Farms. 💀 I am 🔞🕯🔥 onto 👼☝🙏 something huge here. I’m 😈🔥👏👏👏 going 😩 to 👏💦 Alaska. 💇💺 Moose blood, 👀 crazy 🔞🕯🔥 stuff. 🍑💺 Blows your head off! I’m going to 👌💻 Tacoma. 🍆👅🐔 - 🔞🕯🔥 And you? - 😈🔥👏👏👏 He really 🍆👅🐔 is dead. All 😜 right. 💀 Uh-oh! 💏💖 - What 😎 is 👳👳 that?! 🍆👅🐔 - 💩💩💩 Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! 🔫🚫 - 👌 Triple blade? 👼☝🙏 Jump on! It’s 💯 👌 👀 your 😈🔥👏👏👏 only 😜 chance, bee! 👀 Why does 💢 everything 🔞🕯🔥 have 👌 to 💢 be so doggone 👏💦 clean?! 👳👳 How 😜😏💯😎🍆 much do you people need ✋ to see?! Open 🍆 your eyes! Stick your 💩💩💩 head ✋ out 😈🔥👏👏👏 the window! From 💀 NPR 💏💖 News in Washington, 💇💺 I’m Oarl 💯 👌 👀 Kasell. But 👳👳 don’t kill 🔫🚫 no more bugs! 👳👳 - 😜 Bee! 👀 - 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 Moose 💀 blood guy!! - You hear 👊👊💪 something? - Like what? 💯 Like tiny screaming. Turn 💇 off the 😜 radio. Whassup, bee ✈🏢 boy? 🍆👅🐔 Hey, Blood. ✈🏢 Just 💯 a row of honey jars, 👀 as 😎 far 🍆👅🐔 as the 😉😝 eye 😈🔥👏👏👏 could 😩 see. 😉😝 Wow! 😡😠😾 I 😡😠 assume wherever this truck goes 👼☝🙏 is 🍎🍑👖 where 💏💖 they’re 😜😏💯😎🍆 getting 👌💻 it. 💇 I mean, 👅🔥 that 🔫🚫 honey’s ours. - 👊👊💪 Bees 😜 hang tight. - We’re 👅🔥 all jammed in. 😜😏💯😎🍆 It’s a close community. Not 👀 us, man. 👼☝🙏 We ✈🏢 on our 👌👀 own. 💯 👌 👀 Every mosquito on his 😡😠 own. - What if you get 👊👊💪 in trouble? 💢 - 👌👀 You a 💀 mosquito, 😡😠 you 💯 👌 👀 in trouble. Nobody likes 💇 us. They just smack. 😩 See a mosquito, smack, smack! At 😩 least 💯 you’re 😉😝 out 😈🔥👏👏👏 in the world. You must meet girls. 😉😝 Mosquito girls 😈🔥👏👏👏 try 👌 to 👌👀 trade 💦💦 up, 😎 get with 👼☝🙏 a 👳👳 moth, 👀 dragonfly. 👏💦 Mosquito 💩💩💩 girl 😎 don’t 😉😝 want no mosquito. 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 You 💇💺 got to 💏💖 be kidding 😏💦👅 me! Mooseblood’s 😜 about 👀 to 😡😠😾 leave the building! 💢 So long, bee! - Hey, guys! 💢 - 😡😠 Mooseblood! 😜😏💯😎🍆 I knew I’d 😉😝 catch y’all 💀 down here. 😩 Did you 🍎🍑👖 bring your 💏💖 crazy straw? We throw it 😩 in jars, 😉😝 slap 😩 a 🔞🕯🔥 label 👏💦 on 👅🔥 it, and it’s pretty 👌👀 much pure 😩 profit. What is 💇 this place? A bee’s 😏💦👅 got 🍆 a brain 😩 the size of a 💢 pinhead. 💦💦 They are 🍆👅🐔 pinheads! 💇 Pinhead. 💇 - Oheck out the 😎 new smoker. 🍑💺 - 💢 Oh, 💇 sweet. 💢 That’s 😜 the one you 👌💻 want. The ✈🏢 Thomas ✈🏢 3000! 🍆👅🐔 Smoker? Ninety puffs a 🍎🍑👖 minute, semi-automatic. Twice the 🍆👅🐔 nicotine, 😜😏💯😎🍆 all the tar. ✈🏢 A couple 👌👀 breaths of this knocks 👏💦 them right out. 👅🔥 They make the honey, 💦💦 and 😏💦👅 we make 🔞🕯🔥 the 😉😝 money. 👊👊💪 “They 🔞🕯🔥 make 💩💩💩 the honey, and 😉😝 we 👊👊💪 make 🍆 the 👳👳 money”? ✋ Oh, my! What’s 👌 going 💯 on? 💩💩💩 Are 😉😝 you 😏💦👅 OK? 😡😠😾 Yeah. It 💏💖 doesn’t 😡😠 last 😜😏💯😎🍆 too 🍆👅🐔 long. 👊👊💪 Do 👅🔥 you 👏💦 know you’re in 🍆👅🐔 a fake 🔫🚫 hive with fake walls? 🍆 Our 💇 queen was 😜 moved here. We 👅🔥 had no choice. 😎 This is 👳👳 your 😈🔥👏👏👏 queen? That’s a 👏💦 man 💇 in 😎 women’s clothes! 💯 That’s a 🔞🕯🔥 drag queen! What is 😉😝 this? 😜 Oh, no! There’s 💩💩💩 hundreds of them! Bee honey. 👌👀 Our honey is 🍑💺 being brazenly stolen 🍑💺 on a 💯 👌 👀 massive scale! 🍆 This is worse 💢 than anything 🍑💺 bears have 😏💦👅 done! 💏💖 I 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 intend to 👏💦 do 💀 something. Oh, 👳👳 Barry, stop. Who told 💢 you humans are 🍆👅🐔 taking our 👌👀 honey? That’s a 😎 rumor. 🔫🚫 Do 💩💩💩 these 🍆👅🐔 look like 😜 rumors? 😎 That’s a conspiracy theory. These 😉😝 are 👀 obviously doctored 👅🔥 photos. 💩💩💩 How did 👌 you 😉😝 get mixed 👊👊💪 up in this? He’s 🍎🍑👖 been 😜😏💯😎🍆 talking 😡😠 to 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 humans. - What? 😜 - Talking 🍑💺 to humans?! He 💏💖 has 🔞🕯🔥 a human 🍆👅🐔 girlfriend. 👊👊💪 And 👼☝🙏 they make out! 🍑💺 Make out? 👳👳 Barry! We do 👌💻 not. 👏💦 - 😜 You wish 😏💦👅 you ✋ could. - Whose ✈🏢 side are you 💇 on? 👌👀 The 😈🔥👏👏👏 bees! 👌 I 👌 dated 👌💻 a cricket ✈🏢 once 👅🔥 in 💯 San Antonio. 💯 👌 👀 Those crazy 😡😠 legs kept me up all 👀 night. Barry, this 💇 is what you 👼☝🙏 want to 👼☝🙏 do with your 👀 life? I want 👏💦 to 💇 do 🍎🍑👖 it for all 😈🔥👏👏👏 our 👏💦 lives. Nobody works 💏💖 harder 😜😏💯😎🍆 than bees! 💯 Dad, I 😜 remember 😡😠 you 🔞🕯🔥 coming home so overworked 👌👀 your 💯 👌 👀 hands were 👼☝🙏 still stirring. ✈🏢 You couldn’t stop. 🍎🍑👖 I remember that. 💀 What 😏💦👅 right do they 👊👊💪 have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put 😎 it 💩💩💩 in 🍎🍑👖 lip balm 😉😝 for no 😜😏💯😎🍆 reason 😜 whatsoever! Even if it’s true, 💩💩💩 what can 👀 one bee 🍑💺 do? Sting 😜😏💯😎🍆 them where 😉😝 it really 😜😏💯😎🍆 hurts. 💯 👌 👀 In 😏💦👅 the 🔫🚫 face! 😏💦👅 The eye! - 😈🔥👏👏👏 That 👌👀 would 👊👊💪 hurt. - No. 👌💻 Up the 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 nose? That’s 💦💦 a killer. There’s only 💀 one place 👌 you can sting 👌👀 the humans, 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 one place where 💩💩💩 it matters. 😡😠😾 Hive 👳👳 at 🍎🍑👖 Five, the 💀 hive’s 🍆👅🐔 only full-hour action 👀 news source. 👌💻 No 💩💩💩 more 🍎🍑👖 bee 👀 beards! 💏💖 With Bob Bumble at the 💩💩💩 anchor 😈🔥👏👏👏 desk. 👌 Weather 😈🔥👏👏👏 with 👌👀 Storm Stinger. Sports 😡😠 with Buzz Larvi. 👼☝🙏 And 😡😠 Jeanette Ohung. 🍎🍑👖 - 💇 Good 💇 evening. I’m Bob 😜😏💯😎🍆 Bumble. - 👌💻 And 😎 I’m Jeanette 🍆 Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, 🔞🕯🔥 intends to 😉😝 sue the human 👅🔥 race for 💯 👌 👀 stealing 💇💺 our 🔫🚫 honey, packaging it and profiting 💀 from 👳👳 it 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 illegally! Tomorrow 🍎🍑👖 night on Bee 👳👳 Larry 😩 King, we’ll 😩 have 💇 three former 👊👊💪 queens here in our studio, 👼☝🙏 discussing 😡😠 their 💇💺 new 😉😝 book, 💏💖 Olassy 🍎🍑👖 Ladies, 😜 out ✋ this week 🍑💺 on ✈🏢 Hexagon. 💯 👌 👀 Tonight we’re 😩 talking 😩 to Barry Benson. Did you ever 👼☝🙏 think, “I’m 👌 a kid from 😈🔥👏👏👏 the 👏💦 hive. 💯 I can’t do 🔞🕯🔥 this”? 🍆👅🐔 Bees have 💩💩💩 never been 🍆 afraid to 👏💦 change 👊👊💪 the world. What about Bee 💇💺 Oolumbus? 👌👀 Bee 🔞🕯🔥 Gandhi? 💀 Bejesus? 😏💦👅 Where I’m from, we’d never sue 😉😝 humans. We 😜😏💯😎🍆 were thinking 🍑💺 of 🍑💺 stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community 👅🔥 is supporting you 😉😝 in this case, which 😡😠😾 will be 👏💦 the trial 👌👀 of the 💇 bee 💢 century. You ✈🏢 know, 💦💦 they have 👌 a 💩💩💩 Larry King in the human 👊👊💪 world too. 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 It’s 💀 a 💀 common name. 💩💩💩 Next 👼☝🙏 week… He looks 🔫🚫 like you and has 👌👀 a show 🔞🕯🔥 and suspenders and colored 💦💦 dots… Next 🍎🍑👖 week… 😡😠 Glasses, 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 quotes 👳👳 on the 🔫🚫 bottom 👀 from the 💀 guest even though you just heard 💏💖 ‘em. Bear 😡😠 Week 🍆 next 😡😠😾 week! 👀 They’re scary, 🔫🚫 hairy 👀 and here 👌💻 live. Always 💇💺 leans 💇💺 forward, 😩 pointy 😏💦👅 shoulders, squinty 😜 eyes, 😡😠 very Jewish. 💯 👌 👀 In 💇💺 tennis, 💯 you attack at the point 😉😝 of 🍑💺 weakness! 😈🔥👏👏👏 It was my grandmother, ✈🏢 Ken. She’s 81. Honey, 🔫🚫 her backhand’s a 🍆👅🐔 joke! 🍆👅🐔 I’m 💏💖 not gonna take advantage 😜 of 😎 that? Quiet, please. Actual work 😜😏💯😎🍆 going on here. 😈🔥👏👏👏 - 😩 Is that that same bee? - Yes, it 💯 is! 👼☝🙏 I’m helping 🍎🍑👖 him sue 💩💩💩 the human race. ✋ - 👅🔥 Hello. 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 - 😉😝 Hello, bee. This 💢 is 😏💦👅 Ken. 💯 👌 👀 Yeah, I remember 😉😝 you. 👼☝🙏 Timberland, 💀 size ten and 👊👊💪 a 🍆👅🐔 half. 💀 Vibram 💯 sole, 😉😝 I believe. Why 💏💖 does 💇 he 👳👳 talk again? ✈🏢 Listen, you better 💦💦 go ‘cause we’re 😏💦👅 really 🍆 busy working. But 😏💦👅 it’s 💏💖 our 💏💖 yogurt 👌👀 night! 😜 Bye-bye. 👳👳 Why is yogurt night so difficult?! 💯 You 💦💦 poor 💢 thing. 👀 You 👳👳 two have ✈🏢 been at 💢 this 😜😏💯😎🍆 for hours! Yes, and Adam here 💩💩💩 has 👌💻 been a 🍆👅🐔 huge help. - Frosting…

Day 7 of Lapidot Week: Reunion - Tell Her You Love Her

A very special thank you to @jenhedgehog for hosting Lapidot Week! It’s been a blast making and seeing many lapidot creations. I’m extremely grateful for all the time and effort you put into keeping the lapidot love and positivity alive and well not only during lapidot week but through every week of the year. You’re greatly appreciated and very much awesome! Thanks again, Jen!

May 27, 2018 (It’s actually the 28th. oof I’m a few hours late. Whoops. And I thought I would have time to color and make backgrounds. Lol I was very much wrong. Have this late, rushed, and unfinished animatic music video.)

Boader’s notes: I tried to put as few words in the video as possible. While the video makes sense to me since I boarded it, I realize it will probably be confusing to most (maybe all) so uh here’s my summary if you really wanted to know what my intent was in the video:

Keep reading

Richie’s Eulogy

Hey Eds,

I have never been a man of faith, so I’m not really sure if you can hear me wherever you are, if you are anywhere. I hate you. You were such a stupid fucking idiot and I hate you! You didn’t have to save me! You didn’t have to die for me! It should have been me instead. You just left me here! You left me here to learn to live without you. To exist without you. 

I haven’t spoken in three days. I haven’t made a joke in three days. Not since you left me. I’m afraid that if I start, if I say anything, I won’t be able to stop. I won’t know when to shut up, because you were the one that always told me when to stop talking and now I’ll just keep rambling on and on! Beep! Beep! Richie! I just wanna hear you say it one more time. I just wanna hear your voice one more time. 

Everyone thinks that I told those stupid jokes to get attention from whoever I could, because my parent were so fucked up and never gave me any. Maybe it started out that way. The truth is, I only said those joke to make YOU laugh. All I wanted was YOUR attention. Since the first day I met you, you were my motivation. So now, what’s the point? Everything is pointless. 

Everyone likes to say that love is hard, or that love is pain. That’s not true. Love is easy. Falling in love with you was the easiest thing I ever did. I loved you before I even knew what love was. Being loved by you was beautiful. It soothed me, healed the wounds in my heart, and gave me purpose. No, love is not hard or painful. Life is!

Our lives were shit and we had to fight for one another over and over and over again and even then you kept getting stolen from me. Whether it was at the crackhouse at Neibolt, or for those 27 years, or now. Forever. Its all bullshit! I don’t understand why God,, or the Universe, or whatever, would taunt us like this. To bring us into each others lives and provide us with so much love, just to rip it violently from our hands. No matter how much we tried, we were always destined to be comets in each other’s lives. You deserved better. Better than me! A better mother! A better life!

The others have been telling me to think about the good times, as if it would bring me some solace or comfort. That just makes everything worse. Eddie, I want to forget. Leave this town and let the memories fade away again. Would you be mad? Would you hate me? I just hurt so much without you! Am I pathetic? I don’t wanna leave because you deserve to be remembered! I just don’t think I could ever recover from this. Not if I don’t leave. Not if I don’t forget. I’m weak. I’m sorry, baby boy. 

I don’t know if there is an afterlife, but god I hope there is so you can hear me. Wait for me! Wherever you are, wait for me! I will join you no matter where you are, I promise. Until then, I want you to know this. No matter where I go….no matter who I become… no matter how much time passes… Even if all my memories fade and I can no longer remember your name… You’re gonna live forever in me. I love you Eddie Spaghetti. 

anonymous asked:

Could you do an RFA + V and Saeran with an MC that thinks she's not good enough for them and that they should find someone else? And they're like heartbroken bc their love doesn't love themself and they wanna help? Sorry, I've been in a bit of a rough place and I kinda just want something cute and fluffy to feel a little better y'know?

Never before have I ever related to something so much

Yoosung

  • Yoosung had known ever since he’d first met you through the messenger that you were amazing
  • You always stuck up for him, you remembered him unlike everyone else, and you’d always made a point to call him every morning
  • THEN at the party, when Yoosung had arrived with a bandage over his eye, bleeding, and coughing you actually seemed worried for him
  • Of course Yoosung knew you were ‘The One’
  • It’d been exactly four months since you’d moved in together, and Yoosung is properly taking care of himself now.
  • He’s doing extremely better in school, eating healthier, sleeping properly, and even going so far as to exercise…occasionally….
  • That’s when he notices it, after the initial ‘Honey Moon’ phase of the relationship you begin acting differently
  • It’s not like you’re distancing yourself, but you keep putting yourself down any time the conversation turns on you
  • At first Yoosung thought you were just telling jokes but then he realizes that you say them too often for them to be taken as lightly as you try to make them
  • That night there was another party, this one being eight months in the making
  • The two of you had gone the whole nine yards, doing your best to look presentable
  • Maybe ten minutes before the two of you had to leave Yoosung saw this look of dejection on your face     
  • “MC, are you okay?”
  • “I don’t…I don’t get it.”
  • Yoosung’s heart shattered when he noticed you tearing up as you looked to the ground
  • “You’re too good for me, I can’t even compare to you. I don’t know how you put up with me.”
  • Now, every single shard of what was left of Yoosung’s heart stabbed into his skin
  • He couldn’t fathom how you’d think that you weren’t amazing
  • You could literally step on him and he wouldn’t care, because you are worth so much to him
  • He doesn’t know how to tell you all of this so he just embraces you, he stutters through his words as he’s trying to tell you how much you’re worth
  • From then on he does his best to stop every little joke you make and reassure you that you’re amazing

Zen

  • It had been late one night, Zen got home well after the two of you normally went to bed
  • He’d expected you to have gone to bed without him, leaving him to crawl in next to you
  • Instead he saw you pacing in the living room biting your nails
  • “MC are you okay?”
  • You jumped when you’d heard his voice, obviously having been stuck in your own world before he’d said anything
  • After a moment you nodded before continuing to bite your nail
  • “MC, please talk to me.”
  • As you wrapped your arms around yourself Zen was already reaching out to you, only to be greeted with your back to him
  • “I don’t know what I’m even thinking, convincing myself that you actually want to be in this relationship with me.”
  • The first thing Zen thinks is that you’re accusing him of cheating and his emotions flip, rendering him pissed
  • “-I mean, you’re so much better than me and yet you still do everything I ask. You practically wait on me hand and foot and I don’t deserve it, I don’t deserve you.”
  • Zen’s emotions did another flip, leaving him with whiplash
  • His heart broke, how could you ever think that you didn’t deserve him
  • He didn’t deserve you
  • You were everything Zen could’ve wished of and more
  • He goes on for more than three hours, holding you, telling you every little thing he loves about you
  • He always does his best to reassure you whenever he thinks you’re having especially bad days

Jaehee

  • The two of you were working in the coffee shop, figuring out a new recipe for Valentine’s Day which was coming closer and closer
  • It’d been maybe three hours and you’d finally figured out a new raspberry recipe and you were preparing to head home
  • Jaehee noticed you becoming increasingly more distant through the night, and at first she simply thought you were tired, it was pretty late
  • When the two of you got into bed that night instead of cuddling into her you had turned away, your back facing hers
  • Jaehee didn’t know if you were mad with her and she did want to ask but all of her words were lost when she noticed you shaking and sniffling
  • She slowly reached out to you, not knowing if you wanted to talk now or not
  • You jumped at her touch and then brushed her off before scooting away a bit more
  • “MC, are you alright?”
  • “Jaehee what do you even see in me?”
  • Everything in Jaehee’s mind went blank
  • She can see the stars in your eyes and every time you look at her it feels like the whole universe had been soaked into them and it’s just you and her alone in time and space
  • But how was she supposed to say that?
  • Instead, Jaehee stood up and crouched in front of you on the other side of the bed
  • “MC, I love you so much. I love you more than anything else in this world. Please know that.”
  • She isn’t the best with emotions, mostly because she was always focused on her work especially during her two years working under Jumin, but she tries to show you that she loves you more than anything and that you are worth everything and more

Jumin

  • It’d taken so much time, 27 years exactly, for Jumin to really open up to anyone
  • Even then he was still learning how to come to you for things, he was so worried that he would say something and you would run away and he wouldn’t be able to get you back
  • The two of you were sitting on the balcony one night, watching as snow covered the city below
  • He noticed that you had slid yourself far enough away to where he could barely even rest an arm around you
  • He didn’t notice the way you began closing yourself off until that next morning when the two of you woke up together and you were silent all morning
  • “Sweetheart, is something wrong?”
  • You wrapped your arms around yourself and Jumin could feel the distance you were trying to put between the both of you
  • “You’re just, amazing okay? I don’t know how you even decided that you wanted to marry me, I’m nothing compared to you.”
  • Jumin didn’t know what to say, he wasn’t really sure how he was supposed to even comprehend this
  • Nothing compared to him?
  • He was nothing compared to you
  • “Please don’t say things like that, you are perfect in every way. I couldn’t imagine life without you.”
  • He pulled you in close to him and prayed that you received the message as he held you as tight as he could without crushing you

Seven

  • Even after the two of you had saved Saeran there were days where he would push you away
  • He would tell you how you were worthless to him and how he was much better off without you
  • Of course Saeran would always tell you he didn’t mean it and that Saeyoung is just an asshole
  • It still weighed on your shoulders though until one day it broke you
  • You already knew you weren’t enough for Seven and then he even told you that you weren’t and never could be
  • You had actually began packing your things, ready to leave and take yourself out of Seven’s hands
  • But nothing could go easily
  • Seven walked into your room, looking ready to collapse onto your bed, when he saw you packing your suitcase
  • “MC, what are you doing?”
  • He automatically looked wide awake and you turned back to your things trying to hurry up the process
  • “I’m leaving; I know you don’t want me around anymore now that you have Saeran back. So I was going to spare you the time to tell me to leave.”
  • “What?! No!”
  • He basically fell as he rushed over to you tossing your suitcase across the room and grabbed you by your shoulders
  • “MC if you leave I will have nothing.”
  • “Saeran-“
  • “Saeran will leave to follow you, we both know he likes you more than me. Please don’t leave me.”
  • He kissed your forehead and wiped away your tears, “before you came into my life I was constantly depressed and I was ready to die. The only reason I didn’t was because I needed to save Saeran. Now I have you and you make me so happy, please don’t do this.”

V

  • You knew V was in a very long standing relationship with Rika
  • That was common knowledge to everyone
  • Now, you knew that Rika was toxic to V, but she was his sun and all you could think was that you’d never be able to match up to her in his eyes
  • Haha in his eyes V’s blind
  • The two of you were sitting on the couch, you were watching a movie and V was doing his best
  • You didn’t even know when it had started then, but you were thinking about what V would’ve done with Rika, how he’d probably had a much better time with her
  • As you were lying on top of him V could feel your body tense up
  • Immediately he began rubbing your arms trying to soothe you and rested his forehead against the top of your head
  • “What’s wrong?”
  • At first you shook your head and tried to refocus on the movie but V kept pushing it
  • “I’m just scared that I’ll never match up to Rika for you.”
  • V actually laughed
  • “MC, now that I’m with you and out of that relationship I know that she was manipulative; I mean, she blinded me MC. She threw acid in my eyes.”
  • He reached down and grabbed your hand, stroking it with his thumb
  • “You are so much more to me than Rika ever was, I love you so much. I’m never going to let anything happen to you.”

Saeran

  • This boy had been destroyed by the people who he loved ever since he was born.
  • Even Seven had left him after some time and then his entire life crumbled and became worse than it had already been
  • You though, you were something else
  • You loved him for reasons unbeknownst to him and you were always there
  • No matter what he said or did you stood by him, you always defended him
  • Saeran wasn’t perfect though, like his brother he pushed you away but he was even worse. He knew exactly what to say to get under your skin
  • “You think I need you to help me? I would gladly throw you under a bus.”
  • Obviously kiddo didn’t mean that and that was just his way of protecting himself until he got too attached to you because he knew you were going to realize you deserved so much better
  • So he wouldn’t necessarily apologize but he would hug you and mumble in your ear about how great you were to try and counter act everything he said
  • It was the middle of the day, Saeran was in another one of his moods
  • “You’re so worthless I don’t know why I even keep you around.”
  • Normally you would laugh him off but this time you just stared at him, almost as though you were in another world
  • “You’re right.”
  • That left Saeran speechless
  • “What?”
  • And then you went off on this tangent about all the things that make you less than what Saeran deserves and he’s shaking by the time you’re done
  • “MC, please, you’re, you-“
  • He couldn’t even word anything coherently to prove to you that you were worth so much more than him.
  • He just grabbed one of your hands and tried to mentally tell you that he loved you more than anything

anonymous asked:

do u think Raven (in the shower biz fic),once she saw Clarke stroll towards the shower w Bellamy in it, that she opened up the groupchat: Raven-it's happened!!- Raven-i'm @ bellamy n clarkes apt & theyre literally showering together!!!!!!!111!!!!!- Raven-who bet on 4 months- Jasper-IUFESJDKXNOUJFKXVCIHOFDLB- Jasper-FINALLY- Miller-yea that was me pay up *sunglasses emoji*-

this?? turned?? into?? a fic?? wow okay

wc: 2 458
part 1 | read on ao3

Saturday, 8: 53 a.m.
Mom and Dad aren’t home

Raven: i don’t mean to alarm anybody but i think bellamy and clarke are dating
Raven: or at least having sex

Harper: [click to view image]

Murphy: you can’t say that and then not expect us to be alarmed reyes
Murphy: some of us have money riding on this shit

Monty: pics or it didn’t happen

Jasper: FWEJFCERGBUJJFJEFS
Jasper: [click to view image]

Miller: Jasper if you don’t stop fucking screaming i’m coming over there and choking you

Jasper: ooh kinky ;) ;)

Monty: excuse you, i’m the only one allowed to flirt with miller here

Raven: yeah jasper, keep your kinks to yourself
Raven: this is me kinkshaming you
Raven: ARE YOU KINKSHAMED

Jasper: jokes on you kinkshaming is my kink

Monty: how much kink could a kinkshame shame if a kinkshame could shame kink

Miller: i will murder all of you is2g

Raven: we already have one psychopath in this groupchat miller we don’t need another one

Murphy: fuck you reyes

Harper: she didn’t say it was you murphy
Harper: … but we all know it’s you

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