sorry for taking so long with this my dear!

Dear Mitsuhide,

I miss you, my dear. I know you haven’t been gone for too long but I’m so used to being around you all the time that your absence is particularly painful. I wish you could tell me about your mission but I know that it must be kept secret, all I ask is that you be careful. I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t return, but I trust you to take care of yourself. I’m sorry if this letter sounds dispassionate to you but I am not very good at conveying my feelings, but please do not take this as a sign of disinterest. I love you far more than I’ll ever have the words to express. I can’t wait until you get back, I would love nothing more than to be held in your arms where I feel safest. Until then I shall continue to write to you and eagerly await your return.
Love, Bianca


Bianca,


Good things come for those who wait. Your concern is adorable, really. We both know how seasoned I am with secretive missions, but no amount of past experience can help me quell the slight twinge in my heart at the thought of leaving you alone. Don’t worry, though, I’m fine. 

How could I take such a letter—one that can be described as nothing else but a love letter—as a sign of disinterest? You continuously doubt yourself of how you appear or sound like feeling, but in truth, I can already read you like a scroll, inside and out. Sometimes I’d like to argue that I know you more than you know yourself. Truth be told, there are times when I feel like I don’t deserve the pure kindness you offer me, like a shadow such as I doesn’t deserve to see the light. But I digress. 

I would love nothing more than to come home, too. 


Mitsuhide


The Boy who Never Gave Up


I want to talk about something interesting from the fight in S06:E5 and the weight of all the episodes that led up to it that made it even more jawdropping.

For obvious reasons, it’s one of the most moving pieces I’ve ever seen in animation, and especially in the series. We know that Keith has been pushed to his absolute limits. But the extent of it is just amazingly portrayed in his reactions and, I believe, in the absence of his reactions as well.


It all begins with S01:E1: The Rise of Voltron

There isn’t a single Paladin or part of the Voltron crew that hasn’t experienced loss. They all have had their struggles and have grown so much from them. But fuck if Keith isn’t the universe’s punching bag through the first six seasons. In the beginning, he throws literally everything he has into a split second opportunity to rescue Shiro. Shiro, the only person who had never given up on Keith who was missing for TWO YEARS and reported DEAD and a FAILURE by the very Garrison that brought them together. Keith searched and struggled and mourned for Shiro for two years alone in the desert. But he never gave up. He became the Boy who Waited.

And it paid off. Shiro returned! Keith’s faith and unwavering loyalty were rewarded. Not only was he correct in his beliefs that Shiro was still out there, but it meant something even more important. Shiro had kept his promise. He came back. Shiro never gave up on Keith, just as much as Keith never gave up on Shiro.

Fast forward
FYI, this is a LONG POST beneath the break. But I promise it’s worth it if you stick it out with me. Though I’m not sure our hearts will

Keep reading

Not gonna lie, sometimes I really wonder how the Murphys’ didn’t realize Evan was lying sooner. Of course, that wouldn’t help the plot, but it seems pretty early on that Jared and Evan are writing rehab into the emails, and to some unknown extent, are writing about Connor’s experience there. I am sure we all assume that Connor has been to rehab (though not technically confirmed, Cynthia does mention it and as Connor’s classmates, Jared and Evan probably would have heard about it at some point, explaining why they’d bring it up in the emails). But, as I’ve seen other people mention on here, Cynthia says that she ‘fought for rehab’, not that he actually ever went. Though we can’t actually be sure that Jared and Evan ever included the reference to rehab,, because it was the whole ‘sucking dick for meth’ bit which obviously got deleted, and therefore, the mention of rehab as a whole could have gone too. 

Arguing that Connor did go and they did bring it up in the emails, I do question how two boys who have never been to rehab could have written about the experience even remotely accurately. Plus, there are so many specifics that could have so easily gone wrong. How long was he in rehab for? How did they get those days right? Even if he missed school for quite a while, surely he wasn’t at rehab that whole time? There would have HAD to have been days where he was just at home. So for Evan and Jared to get the timeline even remotely close, seems pretty impressive to me.

Which leads me to what I’ve been thinking about for a while. Evan is a watcher. An observer. He knows about Zoe filling out quizzes in magazines and how she dances because, for Evan’s entire life, he’s sat on the sidelines. You can argue that he only noticed this stuff because he liked Zoe - but I wouldn’t reduce him to that. When you have no one to talk to, you fill the void by placing yourself into other people’s conversations, and eventually other people’s lives. Also known as Evan worming his way into the Murphys’ lives. I would argue that Evan did this long, long before we ever saw it.

Evan was injecting himself into Zoe’s life long before the narrative began. And so was he, with Connor. Even if we say that Evan didn’t have any reason to want to know more about Connor, he would have ended up doing so just because of Zoe. How do you get to know someone? You get to know the people around them. Plus, Connor and Zoe going to and from school together would have been something Evan noticed. He would have noticed Zoe at the jazz band concert, and he would have noticed how her brother didn’t show. He would have noticed when Zoe came to school alone for a while and wondered where Connor could be. Evan would have seen these things, and I like to think that sometimes Evan would have wondered who Connor was. 

That’s why I think Evan was so good at writing the letters. Sure, he was projecting himself onto Connor. You can’t get to know someone just by watching them. We see this with how Evan and Zoe play out. But, I think Evan spent quite a while catching glimpses of Connor and that wove itself into the letters. Of course, Evan’s not perfect at it. Alana notices that things aren’t making sense, which just drives home that despite Evan watching Connor for who knows how long, watching someone doesn’t equal knowing someone. Regardless of how much Evan thought he knew, at the end of the day, he could never know enough. 

I guess that’s why the letters worked so well and then failed so badly. Evan knew the big things, the moments like rehab, printer throwing, getting high, going to school with Zoe, that Connor was alone. Things that the Murphys also knew about Connor. But Evan, just like the Murphys, didn’t know the details. He didn’t know what Connor wanted to do after high school, or his favourite colour, or his favourite song, because he didn’t actually know Connor. Just like how, despite their best attempts, the Murphys didn’t either. So it worked for a while. Until Evan had to keep projecting himself into the letters, because the big things were becoming too small, and the small too big. Until things were crumbling and Evan couldn’t keep up anymore. All of that just makes me that much sadder. That Evan and Connor could have been so close for so long, so present in each other’s lives, and yet somehow never quite meet. And doesn’t that make the whole computer lab scene even worse? That Connor was telling Evan, ‘now we can pretend we both have friends’, and for a moment, maybe Evan thought it could have been possible. Maybe he thought that Connor, just like Evan, had been watching too. 

Rey’s Theme vs. Kylo’s motif and why they’re more than just “mirroring” parts.

I made a video talking about this yesterday, but today, I have visual examples and a nicer keyboard.

So, I’ve seen a bunch of posts floating around talking about how Rey’s and Kylo’s music are nearly the same, or the same, only backwards. At first I didn’t think much about it, just shrugged and moved on with a casual, “Oh, cool. Reblog.” But yesterday I took a closer look.

Their themes aren’t mirroring each other; they overlap

(excuse my poorly written music, I was distractedly doing this)

As you can see, there are three notes in the middle section that overlap in their themes, and the only reason they don’t reflect each other is there’s no note e  between the third and fourth notes of Kylo’s motif.

Instead, John Williams wrote it so that where Kylo’s bit leaves off, Rey’s picks up. 

Kylo and Rey’s themes can be written into a continuous stream of melody completely without any awkwardness.

That’s not all, either. Take a look at this:

Kylo’s theme begins in a manner that has an accidental (D sharp), which leads to a dissonant or tense feel to the music (hard to explain, sorry, but as we’ve all heard it, hopefully you catch my meaning). 

When Rey’s theme goes through and plays her near mirror of his motif, it’s without that dissonance. 

Rey’s theme takes what Kylo’s has started in his destructive dissonance which his character so seems to hold dear to, and corrects it. 

Sure, Rey’s theme still feels an element of wistfulness or longing for something more, but that’s not news to Rey’s character so it can be understood.

No, what’s curious are the implications. Now that we’ve picked apart what this means musically, we can discuss what it means with our beloved characters.

Does this mean Rey helps fix Kylo’s mistakes? That Kylo will be redeemed with the help of Rey? Maybe that Rey will acheive that which Kylo failed in doing?

Or maybe it’s something different… maybe with the help of Rey, Kylo can “finish what grandfather started” to balance the Force. Maybe it’s going to be Rey taking Kylo Ren out altogether and building her own happy resolve.

I don’t know. But I do know this: music doesn’t lie. Just like with costuming, lighting, set designing, casting, script writing, and everything else that goes into making a movie, music is thought about and has symbolic messages and meanings lying within it for those who can see it. Maybe the themes don’t end up meaning any of this speculation, but I promise it’ll mean something by the time these movies are through.

Dear Parents...

Dear Parents, I’m sorry that I can’t believe in something I can’t physically see and have forced you to take me out of Sunday school.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry you told me when I was younger that men are pigs and don’t appreciate you, yet wonder what you did wrong when I told you I was a lesbian. I’m sorry I don’t understand what you want.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry I listen to “nasty black music.” I grew up with that.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry I’ve become friends with people who aren’t like you. They make me feel at home when I’m with them.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry I stay quiet when you ask me the password to me phone. I say stuff on there that I don’t want you to see. Like this post.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry babysitters and summer camps are expensive, but you know what’s not expensive? Condoms.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry I happened to be one of those babies who screamed and whaled in movie theaters.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry I hate taking pictures because I hate when I looked depressed or angry in them.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry I want to cut my hair because I hate my long and curly hair and would prefer if I had pompadour hairstyle.

Dear Parents, I’m sorry that you’re so perfect and I have failed to realize it. I’m sorry that I have never realized you two had no flaws, and that I’ve wasted my years crying instead of bowing down to you. I’m sorry I’ll never get anywhere with you two constantly telling me what I’m doing wrong.

Dear Parents, I’m not scared of you.

anonymous asked:

Is it selfish and stupid to be jealous/insecure about your strength when you compare it jungkooks? I’m not even being funny.... I’m sorry it always bugs me I don’t know why.

This ask is about this post HERE

Oh My … WHEN DID I END UP WRITING A LONG ESSAY …

Dear, I understand how you feel. It’s not selfish or stupid, it’s just human. As a girl that is fed on a daily with images of slim and beautiful women everywhere. I see how you can be jealous and insecure. So how about you follow the path I choose and turn your jealousy into inspiration to take better care of your body? To do so you need to realize first that media people and celebrities are also human but that’s their job to look a certain way because they are their own brand. Only a veeeery few are blessed with that perfect DNA yet most of them work hard and have a whole team behind them. When we eat pizzas whenever we want most of them signed contracts that allow their company to decide what they can consume (Jin had to only eat chicken for a year). Jungkook went through a diet and months of hard work to show those muscles.

Originally posted by kimtaemybae

Jungkook seems just so “naturally” strong. But he said it himself, most of the times it’s just an exaggerated concept. Jungkook may have been blessed with a great body but he also works out a lot. He even lifts chairs in his hotel room … He has this passion to workout to the point if he wasn’t an idol he would probably be an athlete (he said it himself). 

Originally posted by sugutie

He may seem like a boy with no insecurities but I can assure you he does. He is the one who calls himself ugly the most in the group, always worries about his eyelids, went into a harsh diet right before the recent comeback after he saw the footage from Hawaii. He loves eating but goes into dieting because whenever he gains some kgs he starts calling himself fat. He always works out when others are resting:

Originally posted by jeonsshi

Or while filming (basically everywhere)

Originally posted by chiwoopsie

Also, not only all humans are different but so are our circumstances. So rather than wasting time comparing ourselves and looking at others. What about we look at our own body and mind. With some willpower, we all can turn into an upgraded version of ourselves and most of the times people are already an ‘upgraded perfect version’ all they need is some self-love to see it.  As for jungkook what about you turn him into your role model? Those words I told you may seem like some Instagram quote but believe me, they come from experience. Hence, don’t be sad by yourself dear, good luck dear and I am cheering for you ^^

For Research

Author: smutandahalf

Characters: Stiles x Reader

Rating: NSFW 18+ EXPLICIT SMUT

Word Count: 3,796

Originally posted by welcometomyguiltypleasure


           My bag hits against my hip with every step, and I shift my shoulder slightly to readjust the weight of it. The automatic doors close behind me as I step inside the building and I’m immediately hit with the coldness of the air, the air conditioner humming faintly throughout the building. The fluorescent lights above me flicker slightly, and the building is eerily quiet, I smile to myself at the silence.

           I pull open another door, and it squeaks slightly as I slip in and let it fall closed behind me with a creak. The room is darker than the rest of the building, only a few lights dangle from the ceiling, their bulbs dim from so many years of use. I place my bag on an empty hook, letting it hang there as I slip my keys out of the pocket of my leggings, dumping them into my bag unceremoniously.

           “Margaret?” I call out, wandering through the huge stacks of books that fill the room from floor to ceiling, turning it into an endless maze.

           “Over here, dear!” She yells, her voice muffled by all the books, and I try to pinpoint her location as I walk past the stacks and stacks of literature.

           “Where?”

           “By ancient Chinese folklore!”

           I shuffle back a few steps, turning down another aisle of books and I see a flutter of patterned fabric.

           “You’re here early tonight,” She murmurs, never taking her eyes away from the list of titles she’s working through.

           “I needed an escape.” I respond back simply.

           She nods, not pressing for any elaboration or an explanation. That’s one of the things I like most about Margaret, she doesn’t expect you to tell her everything. She respects the fact that I’m not a very open person, and that I will say as much as I need but that I don’t really like to divulge a lot of information. I glance at her, taking in her appearance. Her hair is varying shades of gray, falling down to her waist in a tangle of long, wild curls. There are crinkled, wrinkles around her green eyes, and smile lines near the corner of he mouth. Her long skirt is covered in a tribal print of some sort and the soft material trails well past her feet so that she has to lift it slightly as she walks, causing it to billow behind her.

           “Did you hear me, dear?” She asks, breaking my train of thought, and I look up at her quickly.

           “Sorry, I just kind of zoned out.” I say apologetically and she smiles at me knowingly, “Can you repeat what you said?”

           “I need you to train the young man starting tonight.”

Keep reading

Dear Nafs,
Today I sat cross-legged across from my Madrassa teacher and as she held my palms in hers, she introduced me to you.
I am sorry it took me so long to recognize you.

Dear Nafs, 
You are the embodiment of my desires and the mirror of my heart. Please be good to me. I’ll take us to Jannah.

Dear Nafs,
I saw a boy today. Why can’t I focus on my homework instead of his eyes?

Dear Nafs,
It’s hard not to listen to music. It’s even harder when your friends don’t understand.

Dear Nafs,
I saw him again and my heart stopped.
I should’ve looked away but my eyes wouldn’t let me.


Dear Nafs, 
Last month you convinced me to leave out my sunnah prayers which seemed fine until I realized the last time I prayed Fajr was three days ago

Dear Nafs,
Hassan completes me. He understands me.


Dear Nafs,
I am paralyzed by my sins. By what my eyes saw and by what my fingers typed on that keyboard.
I cannot go back to God.

Dear Nafs,
You said it was one time.
You promised.
Why do we keep falling into the same trap over and over again?

Dear Nafs,
I was lying in bed, drowning in music and the ocean of helplessness. 
My mother called from the stairs, “It’s time for Maghrib, go pray.” I only rolled over and changed the playlist

Dear Nafs,
I haven’t made Whudu in 17 days.
I don’t know why i keep track.

Dear Nafs, 
There is an emptiness growing inside of me. I think I am what would be called depressed.


Dear Nafs,
You’re not fighting on my side, are you?

Dear Nafs,
Please. Don’t destroy me.

Dear Nafs,
This is it.
I can’t take it anymore.


Dear Nafs,
They always said the most important part about winning a fight is distinguishing between the enemy and ally. I guess I’ve been losing since day one.

Dear Nafs,
I know this is not how you begin a usual declaration of war, but this is not a usual battle.

anonymous asked:

I love the scenarios that you wrote about haikyuu ! So please can I request one where : aone,oikawa,iwaizumi,kuroo,akaashi,tsukki,ushijima and tendou had an argument with their s/o because she doesn't express her feelings very well and with her anxiety it ends up into really bad panic attacks sometimes .. I'm sorry if too much, you don't have to do them all. Thank you very much in advance ..I really like your blog xx

Hi dear! OMG THIS ASK WAS SO LONG! I’M SORRY I HADN’T MANAGED TO ANSWER IT ALL! No really, I’m sorry dear but I didn’t know what to write any more for Tendou and Aone, if I’ll ever find new inspiration, I’ll add it. Also, I apologize for taking so long; I’ve to admit I was at loss as what to do, because I didn’t quite understand if you wanted them to argue about you not expressing your feelings, then for you to have a panic attack and them comforting you OR if you wanted something else. Like, them arguing about your anxiety? I was confused. I tried my best, writing different things to not bore you.

I used my personal experiences and thoughts from dark moments, so uhm…I hope they make sense? My faves are probably Kuroo’s and Akaashi’s. And Oikawa’s. And Iwaizumi’s. O shit, well maybe I like what I’ve written a little bit.

If I have to be 1000% honest, I believe that the majority of this characters would never be mad about something like this, since canonly they’re used to read other people or are friends with unexpressive people or even they are the not expressive ones. I tried my best to not go out of character, but I don’t know if I’ve managed. (I’m not that good of a writer yet, I fear)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! And remember, every way you express yourself through is valid! The important thing is to never stop fighting to take a small step.

Have a wonderful day!

 

Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Kuroo, Akaashi, Tsukishima, Ushijima x Anxious Reader, Arguing&MakingUp, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Fear of Rejection, Cuddles (Possibly OOC)

 

Oikawa Tooru

“Well, I’m so sorry if I’m clingy, maybe you should learn to freaking open that mouth and say something instead of watching me ridicule myself trying to please you. Or you should find another boyfriend.” Oikawa finally snapped, sharp tongue taking away your breath.

You froze in the middle of the living room, eyes wide with fear and anger. Oikawa was standing in front of you, fierce and cold, arms crossed on his chest as he trembled from frustration.

That not what you wanted to say. Tooru wasn’t clingy nor you wanted to break up. It wasn’t that, it was all your fault. You just couldn’t talk well, couldn’t you? Always making him fear insecure, not able to express your love or appreciation.

It was your fault.

Before you could realize, you were on your knees, gasping for air. Your head spun as you frantically tried to not drown in that sea of self-doubt and self-deprecation.

Oikawa paled, immediately rushing to you and crouching by your side.

“What’s wrong?” he called worriedly, a hand on your shoulder, all the anger forgotten. It was always like that, wasn’t it? He seemed sharp, childish, egocentric sometimes, and maybe spoiled, but as soon as you needed him, there he was.

Why couldn’t you do the same for him?

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-“ you cried as tears streamed down your cheeks and you breathed quicker and quicker. Were you even breathing? How did you even breathe?

Oikawa cursed, realizing you were having a panic attack.

“It’s okay SO, breathe for me,” he murmured softening his tone and forcing himself to keep calm, “Come on, breathe,” he repeated drawing small circles on your back.

Shaking, you shook your head.

“I-I can’t-I-I’m sorry I-” you sobbed clenching a hand around your throat, to force it open, but your boyfriend took it into his and softly pulled it down.

“You can, I know you can,” he whispered, eyes filling with pain seeing as you struggled, “Please SO. Do it like me.” He inhaled and exhaled slowly, again and again.

You held onto him as if he was your anchor for what it seemed hours.

“Tooru,” you called in a broken murmur as you slowly regained control over your lungs.

“Yes, babe?” he asked, brushing your hair away from your forehead.

“Tooru, I’m sorry,” you found the strength to look at him, “I-I can’t talk well, I g-get very anxious and I suck! I suck!” you admitted angry at yourself, “But I really, really love you-I love you so much- I just- I don’t know how to show it, how to say it because I suck…”

You wanted him to see it, to know it.

Oikawa’s eyes widened and his feature softened as you collapsed in his arms. He caught you, falling seated on the floor and sighed, letting your words washing away all the previous anger and insecurities.

Such a stupid fight.

“It’s okay, I know,” he reassured you, a bit more cheerful, like his usual self, “How could you not to? I’m such a catch!”

You sniffled, laughing weakly, and he lulled you humming.

“We’ll find a way to communicate, everything will be alright,” he added leaving a kiss on your forehead.

You finally smiled, closing your eyes, and rested your head against his chest. If Tooru said it, then you hadn’t doubt about it.

 

Iwaizumi Hajime

“Hey SO,” Iwaizumi’s voice was unusually quiet, flat even, “Can you at least tell me if you still love me? Because right now I’m feeling helpless…”

Your head snapped towards him. You two were seated on the couch, on next to the other, but your boyfriend was bent with his elbows resting on the knees, face hidden behind the palm of his hands.

You had noticed he had been gruff and quiet all the afternoon, but that had been so unexpected you felt as if your heart had stopped.

“W-what?” you stammered, your brain refusing to understand those words.

Iwaizumi interrupted you with a long sigh.

“I’ve never heard you say ‘I love you’, you know? I don’t want to force you, but sometimes I feel like there are walls between us. I don’t understand if you enjoy being kissed or holding hands, you don’t say anything if I don’t ask and sometimes it seems I’m forcing you to be my gir-”

You practically jumped on him, desperately grabbing onto his t-shirt.

“What are you saying? What-I can’t understand!” you said with ragged breaths, the beat of your heart deafening you.

Your boyfriend, taken aback, tried to unclench your fists, but you tightened the grip.

“Why?” you repeated, panic rising in your voice.

He held your wrists, shocked by your frantic, vivid reaction. Usually, you were so quiet or reserved…

“I,” he swallowed, averting for a second his eyes, “I feel like you don’t love me…”

You went limp, hands falling and heart stopping. The tears came before you could stop them.

“O-oi SO!” he panicked as your crying outburst, expecting a colder reaction.

You shook your head, sobbing quietly.

“I’m sorry Hajime, I’m so sorry,” you apologized, trying to find a way to not lose him, not Hajime. “Every time I try I feel so anxious-God you can’t understand- I feel so afraid to say the wrong thing, I can’t find the words. I hate speaking, I’m horrible. I don’t talk well. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to do because you’re so important to me…” as you spoke, your breaths accelerated and grew more and more agitated.

Before it could be too late, Iwaizumi grabbed your hands again and pulled forward. He rested his forehead against yours.

“Hey,” he started in that firm, nearly scolding tone he used to have your attention, and you stopped breathing, “There isn’t something you could say to make me go away, ever, nor I’m worried about the way you say it. I fell in love with who you are, until you keep trying I’ll be okay.”

More tears fell and you opened your mouth to apologize again, but he frowned and spoke first.

“So, don’t stop trying okay? Do your best, I’m here to listen. Always.”

You nodded weakly, warm filling your chest again, and finally he showed a small smile.

“Now, please, ask just this question for me,” Iwaizumi’s cheeks reddened and his voice had an imperceptible tone of hopeful uncertainty that made your heart clench, “do you love me?”

His green eyes were full of hope and affection.

You nodded. A firm, confident nod.

“Yes.”

It’s all he needed.

Hajime smiled widely and kissed you softly, lips chapped and a bit rough yet so gentle.

“And from now on, let’s work together on communication, alright?” he smirked flicking your forehead.

Your laughter filled the room.

Kuroo Tetsurou

Cats, when angry, avoid you. They look from afar and stay silent. Their eyes scream coldness and scold you harshly.

Kuroo was a cat.

Keep reading

10

Tagging Game!

Well, hello there. I’d like to thank my beloved @leafyxthiefy for tagging me in her own post. I am so very sorry, my dear, it took so long! I love you ❤️!

The game consists on putting together your very own aesthetic and posting it publicly on your blog. The trick is, you can only use images you’ve already saved.

Tag a few people at the end to do the same!


ATTENTION: All of the images I’ve used do NOT belong to me (well, except for Pumpkin, that’s my doggie up there), all the credit goes to their respective authors!

Dear original authors, if you would like me to take down any of your pictures I may have uploaded, please feel free to tell me. I will remove it as soon as possible.

Way too many images, I know! But there are simply so many things that I like, it’s a bit overcomplicated.

@grayclouds @lawlullipop @idontfindyouthatinterestin @flyingrottenhannistag @torao-bae @mean-cannibals Do it if you’d like! :)
Dear Bucky

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Y/N and Bucky were childhood friends and when Bucky goes off to war, they exchange letters

Warning: Angst

A/N: I obviously always write this stuff when it will not leave my head! Take a look and leave feedback as it feeds me and my stories. Thanks for reading x

Originally posted by a-marvelous-bean

September 14th, 1942

Dear Bucky,

I cannot believe you have been gone for a few days, it feels so quiet around here now without you next door. Your sisters have been withdrawn but your Mom and I have been trying to cheer them up. Your Mom bought them some new nylons, even though we are supposed to be mending them, and their faces lit up, I couldn`t help but stare at my patched up stockings feeling slightly envious.

Steve and I have been going to the movies everyday to watch the newsreel, he is convinced he is going to see you in one of the clips. I just roll my eyes and smile at him, he is still trying to join to army…I fear one day he will succeed.

Let me know how London is? Do their accents sound funny like on the radio?

Best Regards,

Y/N

October 1st, 1942

Dear Y/N,

The mail is so slow coming from the states so I hope you haven`t forgotten about me already.

The accents do sound funny but the dames here seem to love the Brooklyn accent! I am shipping out to Belgium soon, we don`t know when but with Hitler growing his territories, we have to keep pushing back until this war is over.

I already miss our diner visits in the middle of the night, I am still surprised your mother didn`t hear you sneaking out of the fire escape to meet me. Poor Steve probably would`ve had a heart attack if he knew half of our escapades but those are our secrets. Tell that punk I will kick his ass if he joins (sorry for the language doll).

Tell my Mom and my sisters I miss them…I miss you too.

Sincerely,

Bucky

October 17th, 1942

Dear Bucky,

I have bad news: Steve has joined the army, he managed to get in and has gone to training with a woman called Peggy Carter.

Yes, Steve is with a woman! He even talks to her! If that has happened then maybe there is hope that we win this war sooner rather than later.

I don`t know if you have shipped out to Belgium yet, but don`t knock up any British women or you will probably have to deal with a fuddy duddy father and there goes your army career! Plus, I will be upset that you ruined our plans to get married if we don`t find anyone before we are thirty, you can`t break the promise we made as five year olds!

Don`t go doll dizzy and be careful. I miss you everyday Buck.

Be careful,

Y/N

November 2nd, 1942

Dear Y/N,

I will kick Steve into the next century when I see him but I guess it was bound to happen eventually, that punk has too much determination so all we can do is pray he stays safe with Peggy (he actually speaks to her?)

Sorry it has taken such a long time to write back, we are moving to a small base in Italy so I expect the mail will be even slower there.

How dare you! I am not doll dizzy but I must say some of the nurses here have great pegs! I never break a promise so unless you find some rich man to take care of you in my absence, be prepared to be Mrs. Barnes.

See you soon,

Bucky

November 16th, 1942

Dear Future Husband,

I will get a head start on those wedding plans! It is nearly Thanksgiving here but due to the rations, my family is not celebrating with a big dinner. Our families have decided to gather together in the evening to listen to the fireside chat.

In all seriousness, Steve has become Captain America and, oh right, a giant! I don`t know what they did to him Buck but he is a different man, so strong and tall but inside he is still the same Steve- our Steve.

He has been performing as Captain America across the country and I can see it is not what he wants to do. He didn`t join the army to sell bonds!

Your sisters are adamant that I remain single until you return so I can marry you and become their sister-in-law, it sounds like a good plan to me but I know you had your eye on Dotty from 16B.

I hope this letter arrives in time before you head off into another fight but I think I love you Bucky, I think I always have. 

Awaiting your response as I will probably regret sending this but I needed to tell you.

Love,

Y/N

November 18th, 1942

Dear Y/N,

I haven`t received any letters lately as the mail has been screwed up but I wanted to tell you Steve is with me and he is a different man! I don`t know what that scientist did to the punk but he is so strong, 

I guess it is nice to see him healthy and able to do things for himself but I admit I am upset that he doesn`t seem to need me anymore. 

I need to tell you something serious, I was captured with the 107th but Steve came to our rescue. Doll, he is a real American hero and he saved me from Nazis, they did things to me, I don`t really remember but I wake up in the middle of the night sweating and pain searing my body.

Don`t worry about me and you best get started on our wedding plans! I am sure my sisters are nagging you to pick a dress or something.

Your future husband,

Bucky

November 26th, 1942

Bucky,

Happy Thanksgiving! 

I don`t know if you received my last letter, I know you have been having issues with the mail over there with Nazis intercepting it. Did you get my last letter?

I`m not sure if I want to know or not. My stomach churns every night from thinking you read it and just crumpled it up and decided to write back as if nothing had happened.

I hope you are okay and I heard Steve is over in Italy, is he with you? I pray every night for both your safety, we need Steve as our best man remember?

Please reply either way,

Y/N

November 28th, 1942

Dearest Y/N,

I am sure our damn letters have been getting lost along the way, I hope you have been getting my mail and not ignoring me…not a very nice thing to do Mrs Barnes!

I have to be quick as we are heading out on a mission. I am now in a group called the Howling Commandos with Steve, it is crazy to see him in such an authoritative position…our Steve from Brooklyn!

This mission won`t be easy so I wanted to tell you something, something I have been keeping to myself and just fully realized.

I love you

I love your laugh, your smile, the way your eyes are so caring when you patch up Steve after his fights, your hair as it shines in the sun when we spend the day at Coney Island…I love everything about you doll.

All this joking about getting married, I want to do it for real when I get back. Steve will be the best man of course and I am sure you will love Peggy if you need a bridesmaid. My sisters will obviously want to be maids of honor and my ma will help with any details. 

For now, I will go out and win this war so I can return home to my girl.

Whatcha say doll? Marry me?

Love,

Bucky

December 10th, 1942

Bucky,

I haven`t heard from you and now I am worried.

Are you okay?

Send any letter at all so I know, even one word.

Y/N

December 24th, 1942

Bucky,

Merry Christmas! I hope you are safe

Please reply

Y/N

December 31st, 1942

Bucky,

I received the news today and I know you will never receive or read this letter but I need to write this down.

I love you so much and when that knock sounded on your mother`s door, I knew, I just knew you were gone.

My throat went raw from my sobbing and I knew my life would never be the same without you in it. I need you, I always have and Steve needs you too, I wish he was here to help me plan your funeral- we don`t even have a body to bury.

I will always love you Buck and will spend my days waiting until we can be reunited.

Forever yours,

Y/N

P.S. Please forgive the tear stains

Read Dear Bucky, It`s Me Again

anonymous asked:

Lost since Levi and Erwin are both very dear to me I really wanna know your thought on one of Levi's most popular lines to Erwin when he says "I'll trust your judgment" :) It's one of my favorite lines tbh so it's interesting to know other fans' take on it. Thanks in advance.

Hey Anon, sorry it’s taken me so long to reply.  I’ve been dying to have a chance to reply to your interesting ask because I have a lot of thoughts and feels about this.

“I’ll trust your judgment" is a great line and out of the whole manga it’s one that’s most closely associated with Levi.  What I hadn’t really appreciated before I started writing this reply though is that Levi actually uses this line twice in the manga.  Once when they’re chasing the Female Titan in the forest of big ass trees, and once in Erwin’s office when Levi tries to persuade him not to join the mission to Shiganshina.

In both cases Levi is initially at odds with Erwin.  In the first instance he wants to immediately go after his squad, but Erwin orders him to go back and refuel. And in the second instance he is trying desperately to stop Erwin from joining what appears to be a suicide mission. 

In both cases he backs down and agrees to trust Erwin’s judgment.

Both scenes clearly demonstrate the deep bond of trust Erwin and Levi share; Levi trusts Erwin’s decisions and acts accordingly. But this is where the other phrase closely associated with Levi comes into play; “No regrets.”  Levi’s mantra is choose the decision you’ll least regret.  And in both these cases his decision is to trust Erwin’s judgment and follow his orders, even if he doesn’t fully understand the reasons for Erwin’s decisions.

I think it’s important to note that Levi doesn’t just follow Erwin blindly.  He does question his decisions and even argues with him, but he also trusts Erwin enough to follow his judgment.  And this it what makes the events of chapter 80 so poignant.  

All through the manga Erwin is the one making the decisions and Levi is the one trusting his judgments, but when they come to face the ultimate sacrifice, the tables are turned.  It’s Levi who makes the choice that Erwin should lead the recruits on the final charge against the Beast Titan, and it’s Erwin who decides to trust Levi’s judgement. And it’s that trust that lifts the burden of guilt from Erwin’s shoulders and enables him to set his dream aside and give up his life to save humanity.  It’s hard to imagine a more poignant example of selfless sacrifice, or a better example of mutual love, trust and understanding.  

anonymous asked:

Hi! I just found your blog and I love it! It's awesome for me to see someone enjoy Star Trek for most of their life. My family is a very sports-centered family & I often feel very isolated because I love nerdy things, esp Star Trek. They always make fun of me & call me a weirdo or a freak; I'm in my mid-20's so I know it shouldn't bug me but I just wish I had someone to talk to who I don't annoy. I was wondering if you had any words of wisdom or similar stories from your time in the fandom? LLAP

Oh, my dear heart, i have been thinking about this question a lot; I’m sorry it has taken me so long to write you an answer.  I wish I could reach through the computer screen and give you a hug.

Do I have similar stories? Too many to count.

Let me share with you a little of my own.  I too was a misfit in my own family. Because of the era I grew up in, my love of science and calculus was an embarrassment to my parents.  I fought to be allowed to take the science track in my high school, and when I got good grades — better grades than most of the boys — my dad would laugh nervously and apologize to everyone, “We don’t know where this comes from. We’re not even really sure she’s our kid.”

Ha ha.

Not.

My properly feminine sisters kept their distance, and got all the praise.  In school I had no friends.  Which was wise on the part of other kids, because being with the nerdy girl meant guilt by association: you too might get stuffed into lockers and trash cans and once, pushed out of a moving car by the seniors.

See, I know how lonely it is to be a “misfit.” I know.

I remained a loner well into my twenties, until I found a group of older women who shared my interest in science fiction. They weren’t wanted in the guys’ sci-fi clubs, so they formed their own! They were all semi-professional and professional writers, and they welcomed me into their circle and mentored me in writing and in life.

It was a couple of years later, when I was 26, that my life collided with a brand-new show called Star Trek.  And I can tell you, for certain, that I would not have gained half the self-confidence I have now if Star Trek had never happened.

When I started writing Star Trek fan fiction, within weeks of the show coming on the air, I quickly … inexplicably … scarily … was suddenly “popular.”  It made me really uncomfortable.  I found it scary for anyone to notice me … I knew it could not end well.

Except, I quickly made another discovery: my new-found friends were all just like me. The “weirdos.”  The misfits. The kid the parents were ashamed of.

And in this group — small but growing — we all had a superpower:  we all knew how to be kind. Having been the outsiders in our own lives up to that point, we did not want to be responsible for causing anyone else’s pain.

Meeting and hanging out with fellow fans made me feel safe in social situations, and I learned that I am actually not so shy after all.  In fact, I am the mischievous one who talks everyone into doing outrageous things — once I’m in a group that feels safe.

I learned I could make people laugh. I learned I could be a leader.  I learned what a joy it is to make others feel welcome. Is it any wonder then, that I dedicated the next decade of my life to bringing fellow fans together, and as one cog in the great wheel that was trying to get Star Trek back on the air?

What I am trying to say, dear heart, is you are not alone.  You are a member of a group that feels misplaced in society as it stands, and looks to what Star Trek represents for a better, more hopeful, more compassionate world. In short, you are a Star Trek fan!  Be proud: this tradition stretches back unbroken for over 50 years.

My fervent wish and hope for you is that you can find your people, in real life as well as in this fandom here on the internet.  You deserve to be with people who cherish you for who you are, and will not mock your interests, whether they share them or not. You deserve to be safe with friends, so that you too can discover all the wonderful elements of yourself that the world has made you keep hidden away.

I promise you, you are more amazing and wonderful than you know.

As a start, you are welcome here in this little tiny corner of the internet that I’ve carved out for myself. In fact, I’m delighted you are here! And I hope you can seek out and find “real life” people who can be true friends to you. The friends that you deserve to have.

LLAP, and love, Grandma

anonymous asked:

I don't know if you're still taking prompts, but if you are, would you consider writing a drabble about an assassination attempt on Ryn's life while Dorian happens to be nearby? It's something I always thought the Inquisition in-game should have been more concerned about but it never comes up lol. Your writing is just so concise and lovely. I've read "The Other Dorian" three times this month. *blushes* Thank you and happy new year!

Darling anon, I am so sorry for taking so long to get to this. Thank you so much for your sweet words. I hope you didn’t think I forgot you!

Dorian wasn’t even nearby when it happened.

They had had a fight. No – a spat. A meaningless, senseless spat. Something stupid, about socks.

Dorian couldn’t remember. He couldn’t think. He – Ryn –

They were – they were in Denerim. Parades. Meetings of state. They fought about socks. Dorian stormed out. The tavern. The drinks.

The explosion.

It was – something magical in nature. Dorian didn’t know. He didn’t know anything. He wasn’t there. They heard the explosion. It rattled the windows. He rushed outside to the dust, the whoosh of air, the feel of power. Dorian started running.

Crowds had gathered, curious, frightened. They drifted into the streets like mindless sheep, gaping. Dorian squeezed and pushed and forced his way past. He didn’t feel anything.

But he knew.

Dorian wasn’t made for love. His life didn’t know how to hold it, how to make it work. He had always known it was foolish. He thought it would end with Corypheus. He’d thought he had more time.

They’d fought about socks.

The Inquisition’s guards had the palace blocked off, but they recognized him. They let him through. He tore through the halls. He knew. He knew he was gone. He ran anyway. That flame in him, that spark of hope he could not extinguish. He knew he was gone but he had to see, anyway.

“Dorian!” Cullen’s voice, sharp. The blond caught him as he nearly ran past. Pushed him in the opposite direction. “This way,” he said. “He – you should be there. Dorian, it…it didn’t look good.”

Dorian didn’t answer. He knew. It was cold, the certainty. It was unreal. He hardly heard the words his friend spoke: an assassin with an alchemical concoction. The guards tackled him – his aim was off – but they didn’t know – they couldn’t know – he wouldn’t wake up – Ryn –

Dorian burst into the room, but Cullen held him back, kept him from getting any farther than the threshold. It took him a moment to get his bearings, to understand what he was seeing. Mages gathered around a figure on the bed – too small, too frail. They worked fast. Their spells flashed bright, white and blue and purple. Twisted, blackened skin grew red, then pink. His breath was slow, labored, wheezing.

Only when Ryn was whole again did the healers cover his nakedness with a blanket. His eyes were closed. His chest was barely moving.

Cullen released him.

Vivienne was the first to turn from the bed. Wan, exhausted, she had to grasp the bedpost for a moment to catch herself from falling.

“You’re just in time, my dear,” she said, when her eye fell on Dorian.

“He’s dying,” he said, flat, emotionless. He already knew.

Vivienne looked surprised. “On the contrary,” she said. “I anticipate a full recovery.”

Dorian tore his eyes from her. He took heavy steps to the bed, almost falling over his own feet. He grasped the scrolled edge of the footboard. Ryn was whole. Ryn was breathing.

Vivienne had the room cleared. Dorian didn’t dare sit on the bed. He pulled up a chair and sat on it, slowly, he stared at the Inquisitor.

Ryn was whole. He was breathing.

Dorian prayed for his eyes to open.

One Hell of A Birthday

BUCKY BARNES X READER

Prompt (Anon request): may i request a oneshot where bucky and the rest can’t spend your birthday w/ you bc of an event he has to attend and you feel kinda sad and end up hanging out w/ an ex and accidentally showing that in a facetime w/ the fam making them tease overprotective boyfriend bucky c: 

Words: 1183.

A/N: I’m so sorry it took so long, but my life is hectic right now. Thank you so much for requesting, dear! Requests are open.

MASTERLIST


“I’m sorry, doll,” he finished, his voice wavering a little.

“Bucky, it’s okay, I get it,” you said.

You really understood the situation, even if you didn’t like it.

Your birthday was in two days and Bucky, your boyfriend, wouldn’t be able to spend it with you. He, along with the team, got a track of an enemy base and had to take it down. Finding the location would take longer than anyone anticipated.

You really understood the situation, but you weren’t happy about it. In fact, pretty sad.

“I really wish I could do something about this.”

“I know.  Me too.”

You finished the call making him promise to be careful and kick some ass.

***

You’ve had a pretty bad day. And it was your birthday.

As a matter of fact, ‘pretty bad’ seems like an understatement. For starters, Bucky and the rest couldn’t be there. You had to work; okay, only the morning shift, but it was still morning. Your alarm malfunctioned and you were late, which wasn’t good for your relation with your boss. Then, work never seemed to end. As you were leaving - starving because you had absolutely no time to take a break for a snack and you didn’t bring anything with you because you were late – rain started pouring. You managed to get home after two hours in traffic and subways, dripping wet and sporting a headache. You were supposed to go out to eat tonight, so any food you were hoping to have for lunch simply didn’t exist in your apartment. Which made you change clothes and go to the grocery store.

Your family was supposed to arrive at 5 p.m. that day, so you were picking some things to actually cook at your house. Taking the day you had so far, you were not making yourself available to another thing going wrong (like maybe your reservations).

Your phone ringing brought you back to reality.

“Hello?”

“[Y/n], hi!” your mother exclaimed on the phone. “Happy birthday!”

“Thanks, mom,” you smiled, relieved to hear her voice. You glanced at the clock hanging on the wall near the fruits, “Wait. Weren’t you supposed to be on the plane an hour ago?”

“[Y/n], the flight was canceled. Something about the weather here, no places are taking off,” she sighed. “I’m sorry, honey, but we won’t be able to go spend your birthday with you.”

“It’s okay, mom. I really wanted to see everyone, but I understand.” What else could you say?

You finished the call and sighed. What an amazing birthday; no family, no friends, no boyfriend, no plans. You shouldn’t have left your bed this morning.

“[Y/n]?”

You turned toward the source of the voice and came face to face with someone you didn’t expect.

There you saw him: Harry. Your ex-boyfriend.

“Harry, hi!”

He surprisingly embraced you in a hug. He was smiling he pulled back.

“I was thinking about you,” he said.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I saw the date and I remembered that today was your birthday.” His smile then became softer, “Happy birthday.”

You smiled back, “Thanks, Harry.”

“So, big plans tonight?” he asked, glancing at you while picking some apples from the pile behind you.

You could say ‘yes’. You could, you definitely could seem like pretty busy person with lots of friends to party with on your birthday. But what is the gain in that?

You shrugged. “Not really.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

So you ended up telling him the entire story.

“Wow,” he sighed, “You’ve had a rough day.”

“Yeah. But it’s okay. I’ll pick some ice cream and binge watch some show tonight. Hopefully, nothing else will go wrong.” You really hoped so.

Harry scratched the back of his neck.

“If you want, maybe I could stop by. Keep you some company or something.” Upon seeing your face, he quickly added, “Just as friends! I wouldn’t want to intrude between you and your boyfriend.”

What would be the harm in that?

***

And that’s how you ended up alone with your ex-boyfriend at your apartment on your birthday.

Harry was currently serving the dinner he had bought when you received a Skype call from Bucky and ended up telling him who you were spending your birthday with.

“Bucky, we’re friends. Nothing more,” you said for the billionth time.

“I know, and I get that,” he answered, “But it had to be him?

“Who? Be who? Are you talking to [Y/n]?”

Suddenly, the entire team was trying to fit into the screen, all talking and wishing you happy birthday at the same time.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the scene. “Thanks, guys.”

“[Y/n]?” Harry called when he reentered the living room, a bit hesitant since you were talking on the phone. He expected you’d get some of those when he was there, but didn’t know if you wanted people to know he was there and he didn’t want to cause any trouble.

“Who’s that?” Nat asked, pulling the camera towards her.

“Did your family made a nice flight?” Steve asked, pulling the camera to him.

“Did they enjoy the reservation?” Tony squeezed himself between the two.

“Are you having a nice birthday?” Wanda jumped on Steve’s back and gripped her arms around his neck to secure herself.

“Did you get out present?” Sam appeared near close to the camera.

“It didn’t explode, did it?” the camera focused on Bruce, standing kind of afraid on the side with everyone, including you, screaming, “What?!”

“I didn’t get your present, so I don’t know if it exploded. My family never came, they were stuck in the airport due to the bad weather. I canceled the reservation, none of you guys were here. And I was talking to a friend, Harry.”

Somewhere between your explanations, everyone fit on the screen again.

“Who’s Harry?” Thor asked. “Is he a brave warrior?”

“Nope,” Sam replied, smirking. “He’s [Y/n]’s ex-boyfriend.”

“What?!”

“Sam, how the hell do you know?” you asked, confused.

“I happen to have my ways, [Y/L/n],” he mocked, scrunching his lips and snapping his fingers in a ‘Z’ form. What you didn’t see was the way he and Tony high-fived behind Thor’s back.

“Let me get this straight: [Y/l] is spending her birthday with her ex-boyfriend and not with the overprotective – and needless to say, currently – boyfriend?” Tony asks, a teasing tone to his voice and a grin on his face.

“Yes.”

“Oh, Barnes, you’re never hearing the end of this, my friend.”

“If you want, Asgard could use a powerful warrior such as yourself,” you heard Thor saying quietly to Bucky.

Two days later, after they returned home and you made them have a few hours of sleep and Tony sent a private plane to pick up your family, they took you out to dinner on your favorite restaurant and even invited Harry. The entire time the team spent teasing Bucky, who made Harry seat far away from you on the giant table. You had never laughed as hard as that night.

Oh. And their present didn’t explode. Until Tony switched a few cables. 


TAG LIST

If you want to be tagged/removed, tell me and I will arrenge it!

@macacodebanana @lilasiannerd @ria132love @amistillmyself@shopwesteros @cassandras-musings @learisa @pacifikaproudaotearoa@janeschwartz1@buckyappreciationsociety @courtneychicken @jaybird6232@i-cant-believe-its-not-a-writer @explicitfandoms @myinnerinside

3

Hi there guys! long time no see! i did a trade-art with dear @holoskope i drew there fantroll, thay are really cute!! i hope you like it!!

(done with mouse!)

anonymous asked:

hi nissi,,,, i don't know if my ask didn't come through or if you haven't had time to answer (in that case pls ignore this, take ur time replying!!) but a couple weeks ago i asked you if you knew any "epistolary" fics, similar to "you have 1 new message" by bazooka, or just anything based on texting/social media. it could be any ship!! i hope i'm not bothering you, i'm sorry if you saw my ask already, thank u for always helping us all out you're the bestest! have a good day

99% of the time asks just get buried bc im slow so if i take too long to reply feel free to send them in again !! especially fic questions.. anyway here r some epistolaries / social media fics
you have 1 new message by bazooka; namjin
pig and bird by bazooka; minjoon
- i’ll follow you (on twitter) by ohh; vhope
blanket kick by duchesscass; taegi, jikook
- upvote by mnsg; jikook
don’t say all the right things by sugodemic; sugamon
- dear jimin by melecs; vhope
- can you be (mine?) by melonnim; taekook
- (annoyingly) you still look good by yoonmin
- follow by darling; kookiemonster
you’re my genie, lamborghini (you’re my teeny weenie meenie) by mindheist; jikook
- love at first swipe by maxx; vmin
- suga, how you get so fly? by jonghyunslisterine
- namjin watch by vppa
- everything feels like a dream (don’t try to disappear) by kaythebest; vmin
- oh, how the mighty fall by euphoriae; vmin
- i don’t even know you by k506rl; yoonmin

anonymous asked:

Saw ur tweet about Madi, is she okay???

she is!! she just needs a bath and a lil medicine on her ear bc she’s been scratching it. i got super emo leaving her there tho, my lil bb ;^; thank you for caring omg.