sorry we party

4

Some prom headcanons that me and a new friend on IG made because why not

This just in:

Will Roland is a gamer. (Not really a shocker but still). He appears to prefer PC games, and has a 10 year old key board which is his “one and only til the wheels fall off” and apparently if you “ask anyone who’s ever loved [him].” They’ll tell you “All [he] do[es] is play games.”

2

so I finished most of my hux cosplay and I’m already fucking around with it :’))

Ivonne’s 12 Days of Deadpool, #6

Spideypool x Reader,  smut ya’ll. 

You are left alone at your company's Christmas party. Where are those two idiots?

#1, #2 , #3 , #4 , #5 , #6 , #7 , #8 , #9 . #10 , #11, #12, #13

Mariah Carey singing ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ blasted throughout the conference room, as you sipped cheap wine in the corner. This was suppose to be a fun night with Wade and Peter, they both were happy to come to your company’s Christmas party; especially with an open bar. But at the last minute, Peter had some Spidey duties to uphold and Wade opted to tag along to help get the job done quicker, leaving you all alone. Not that you hated your co-workers, they were all pretty nice. It’s just that you were looking forward to getting piss drunk with your boys and possibly making complete fools out of yourselves.

Sighing, you pouted in the corner, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. Everyone was socializing and taking advantage of the open bar, so you strolled over to it and ordered another whiskey sour.

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Brooklyn Nine-Nine STARTER SENTENCES #1
  • If I’m ever going to make captain, I need a good mentor; I need my rabbi. 
  • Meep morp zeep, robot captain engaged!
  • Thank you very much, sir. Testament to what can be achieved when you dress appropriately.
  • Here are two pictures. One is your locker; the other is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Can you guess which is which?
  • You also have more mice living in your desk than any other detective!
  • Well, he’s someone else’s problem now. Like you said, it’s out of your hands.
  • Wow, looks like he hates you even more than me.
  • God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever.
  • So you were just borrowing those cars?
  • Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! You win a teddy bear!
  • All right, fine, darling; I’ll ask him. Excuse me, sir!
  • No, I know we’re lost! I think he’s an idiot.
  • Idiot?! Do you know why we’re out here in the middle of the night, ___? I was gonna propose to you! On the Brooklyn Bridge, where we met.
  • You know what? This is over. Say goodbye to this ring and everything it represents
  • I’m sad y'all are arresting me, but I gotta say, I’m glad you’re back together.
  • We’ve busted murderers; we’ve taken down cartels. But today we face the worst New York has to offer- the Fire Department.
  • I don’t have a lot of time. I need your full, signed confession. We have four minutes. We can do this.
  • Everyone, check your email. The greatest thing that could ever happen has just happened.
  • Who’s Kevin Cozner? Is he the star of Danzez With Wolvez?
  • Mm, it was kind of a last-minute invite. Just stirring the pot.
  • Aw, man. All the orange soda spilled out of my cereal.
  • Devastatingly handsome? I’m sorry. I’m uncomfortable with emotions.
  • Nice cop lingo! Look, I’m really sorry that we ruined your party. I’d love to make it up to you.
  • You should make me your campaign manager. I was born for politics! I have great hair and I love lying.
  • No, he did it doing something he’s embarrassed by. Like smiling. Only question is… how do you hurt your arm smiling?
  • Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?
  • Because no-one… will ever believe you.
  • Fine, abandon me! I don’t want you here anyway.
  • All right, I’ll just act like you. Say something so I can get the cadence of your voice down.
  • This looks like it was filled out by a toddler!
  • you just got slapped with the best life sentence there is: marriage.
  • You know how long I’ve been waiting for one of you old men to kiss me?
  • My ears are burning! Did someone say vasectomy? I got snipped; no big deal, just numbs you out from trunk to skunk for a year.
  • Look, you guys, if the Sarge wants to chop off his penis that is his choice.
  • I hate being friends with you!
  • I’ve examined his proposal; there’s no proof that giggle-pig is a serious problem.
  • Actually, I’m a little disappointed in the hotel. How you mess up a omelette? It’s just a flat egg!
  • Okay, don’t shoot! That’s how people get shot.
  • Every time you talk I hear that sound that plays when Pacman dies.
  • I got aroused last night watching a nature documentary on bees. I was fine until they went inside the hive.
  • “I’m with someone and nothing is going to happen.” Name of your sex tape!
  • Your head is so small. It is so small. Where do you keep your brains?
  • Good to see you. But if you’re here, who’s guarding Hades?
  • I care about my friends. Now eat your carrots, or I’ll rip your tiny head off.
  • I’m still paying my uncle’s funeral bills. I rear-ended the hearse. It was a mess.
  • Wait, stop. I’ve made a terrible mistake.
  • You’re being super irresponsible. You have a batitude. That’s a bad attitude.
  • I’m not gonna lie, that turns me on a little bit.

you know what

I’m going to sleep in the fervent hope that #covfefe was actually Trump dying of a stroke/heart attack/etc

it’ll be a crushing disappointment in the morning when I wake up and find out he’s still alive, but boy, what a blissful night’s sleep it’s gonna be

So I was balls deep in ren foam and saw dust when I see 13 texts and 4 missed calls from abby saying Norman Reedus is at worm hole so I rush and pick up abby and we grab maria and Cody and meet Norman who’s super sweet then Cody inspires us to go inside where Dave Chapelle is casually dj-ing inside and he’s hammered and kissed my shoulder and was actually really creepy but still made me feel cool even though I was covered in saw dust. Then abby bought Norman a drink because her dimples are intoxicating. All in all good night but now I’m behind on my school work. ||  hopesvarre [IG]

shout out to Norman Reedus @bigbaldhead and Dave Chappelle for the unexpectedly fun Monday night. Danced around to DJ Dave and actually got to have a conversation with Norman 💃🏻🎈 Sorry we crashed your crew party, but you guys were worth sneaking in the back door. || absmccormick  [IG]

9

Some more ‘out of context’ Thranduil for @sweetfairy1

I think @peonies-and-poppies is going to need an ambulance. 😇

We were out tonight and you and I were drinking with friends. It just so happened that tonight we had the same friends. You sat down beside me and I didn’t know what to say. I kept looking at you, wanting to say something because I knew you wanted me to. Eventually you got up. I leaned against a table and I heard your voice beside me. Our arms were touching and we weren’t talking. We were just listening in on the conversations that we were supposed to be part of. I looked ahead and in the corner of my eye I saw you looking at me. I think you gave me false hope tonight. I’m not quite sure if I hate you for it.
—  Was I just making it all up in my head?

“Everyone says how pretty I am and how much they want to be like me. I thank them. But why can’t I believe them?” (r.i.d)

10; “You can’t draw.”(Soulmate! Calum Hood Imagine)

Requested?: Yes

Pairing: Cal x Reader

Warnings: cute factor

Part Two?: no 

Rated: PG

Prompt: “You can’t draw, stop drawing on yourself, I can’t go to work like this.”

You write to him when you wake up with a bunch of terrible drawings on yourself because Calum fell asleep at a part the night before.

When you woke up in the morning for work, you sighed and stretched lightly before your feet touched the hardwood floor of the ground. You padded to the bathroom and a scream could be heard from your bathroom as you took in the sight of your face and arms. You were covered in poor drawings, penis drawings and even inappropriate words.

           “You’ve got to be kidding me,” you grumbled to yourself, grabbing your marker and scrawling across your forearm, “YOU CAN’T DRAW, STOP DRAWING ON YOURSELF, I CAN’T GO TO WORK LIKE THIS,” and waited for a response or even better, the drawings to be washed off.

           Your soulmate Calum was always drawing on himself, making you giggle at his terrible drawings but this was too much, this is terrible. Suddenly, the ones on your face began to fade away, a small heart replacing the penis that was all over your cheek. “I’m so sorry, we were partying last night and I fell asleep. They’ll be off soon!”

 

           You continued to dress for work, waiting for the rest of the drawings to come off. You decided to wear a long sleeve dress, hoping the rest of the drawings would be gone soon. Calum lived across the world from you, you knew that from the drawings he made of his hometown which you’d spent time googling but things were so busy in your lives you were waiting for the right time to meet.

           “Hope work was okay; I think I lost layers of skin. <3” you saw scrawled across the palm of your hand and you smiled lightly as you entered your home after a long day, happy to see his message.

oKAY SO I have finally finished Rev2 with the good ending (I know I know bear with me) a-and… aND…. A N D…  I have a lot of feelings but mainly about Claire and her hair I thought it was going to be made clear why she cut it bc like… I WANT ANSWERS (ok pretty sure it was bc she wanted a change after being betrayed yet again and thinking Moira was dead and zombie island etc etc bUT STILL) also that “he’s in China now?” broke my heart bc like… I know she’s TerraSave she doesn’t fight bioterrorism directly like Chris but like it was everywhere on the news about Tall Oaks and both her and Barry were gonna have a party or something?!?! Like?!?!?! ok I know she was still worried and keeping track of Chris and all that (which is v sweet and I’d kill Capcom if they hadn’t shown us that) I’m jUST a bit overwhelmed it seems again bear with me #FEELINGS everywhere ;w;

I don’t care if it hurts your feelings you don’t care about all the lgbt+, poc, women/fellow women of your countries feelings either, so if you voted trump PLEASE UNFOLLOW ME, just get out of here I don’t want you.

Communication

 Kevin Owens/OC: You have a massive crush on Kevin, and everyone but him knows. You’re too nervous to say anything, not just about the crush you have on him, but just in general. He makes you a nervous wreck so you try to avoid him. He confronts you about it because he’s under the impression you hate him. You admit you have feelings for him and find out he reciprocates them. Fluff with the murderous teddy bear while my heart weeps tears of joy bc I love him. Requested by anon.

I know this isn’t in order, but it’s a celebration day for my scholarship, so we’re all just gonna have to deal with it. I was feeling some fluff. 

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