sorry this is shit i um

anonymous asked:

👏can👏We👏Get👏Get👏Some👏Shower👏Sex👏Headcanons👏Up👏In👏Here?👏

heyy im a dick and i completely forgot about my updates im so sorry
im trying my best to keep this thing updated n shit but its been a bit difficult lately
no im not planning on deleting this blog anytime soon! i want to keep it alive for as long as i can
also holy shit when did i get 2000+ followers??? um thank u??
anyways enough of my stupid rambling its 5 am and im ready to sin


Yoosung:
-my dude you best believe he’ll pin you up against the wall
-and have his way with you
-while also being careful bc showers r Slippery™ and Dangerous
-he likes to set a “timer” and try and get u to cum before the water gets cold

Jumin:
-shower sex??? hell no, bath sex
-his tub is like a fucking,,, hot tub and he’s got u on his lap and grinding and all that Good Shit
-who needs lube when y'all r both wet amirite
-(that was a joke use plenty of lube if u need it bc no one likes sex when it hurts)

Zen:
-pull his hair or some kinky shit while showering together and he’s putty in your hands
-or he can work with the other way around honestly anything to please you
-jesus christ i keep comparing him to save before remembering that they’re difFERENT STOP
-he probably likes the feeling of ur wet fingers on his dick

Jaehee:
-👀👀👀👀👀👀
-idk if yall have noticed but im lov her
-im gay except im not bc she’s a woman hha
-anyway she’ll totally put u and ur needs first and love it
-she always says u can make it up to her later
-and u always do 😏

Seven:
-lmao bruh he’s gonna fucking wreck you good luck
-he likes to press you up against the wall but so that your back is facing him
-and just
-bone you till it hurts
-god i love him
-the steam of the hot water fogs up the walls and mirror and he likes that too

tv shows: yeahhh,, uh,, i’m here for the *looks at smudged writing on hand* gltb thing?? yeah, we totally got you,, but um,, i left a casserole in the oven at home,, promise i’ll come back, for real, totally;:,,

books: lgbt characters? those are over there, through the Infinite Forest of Generic Dystopia. good luck though, few have ever made it out alive!

podcasts: fuk u guys, here’s 7 aroace characters, 5 genderfluid characters, 37 bisexuals, 54 healthy wlw relationships, actually everyone is lgbt sorry we don’t make the rules!!!

  • Me, talking about whatever I'm hyperfocused on: *very excited and happy to talk about said thing, is genuinely enjoying the conversation*
  • Friend: *says nothing, does not respond, doesn't react in anyway*
  • Me, wringing my hands nervously: so um, anyways, let's talk about Normal Stuff(TM)
2

ok y’all sorry to shitpost but um can we just appreciate that every white mccree is Officially Banned Forever (Always Been but ya know)

Leather Jackets - Bucky Barnes AU

Request: “Can you make a Bucky imagine in which he’s like the bad boy who is really cool and falls for y/n and is super sweet around her?” // I did it as a Greaser AU because I was listening to the Grease soundtrack while writing lol

Word Count: 1167 // My requests are still open!!


The Greasers didn’t like to be messed with. If you’re not at their level, you can’t speak to them. You go near them, you’re dead.

Pacing quickly down the sidewalk, you avoided the glare of the boys in the red Chevrolet parked across the street. A message alert on your phone made you stop, pulling your phone out of your pocket.

Steve: Just overheard that the Greasers are gonna be at the coffee shop. Be careful.

Mentally groaning in fear of anyone hearing you, you slipped into the door of the cafe, walking with your head down.

“Hi, uh, Miss? What would you like?” The barista grinned at you, as you looked up from your phone. “Sorry, can I just have a juice please?”

“What’s your name?” She asked, holding your cup in one hand and a sharpie in the other. “Y/N.” You pronounced, smiling back.

Soon enough, your name was called and you took your drink, walking out of the store.

You looked around before pushing the door open, seeing the Chevrolet had moved. Breathing a sigh of relief, you pushed the door open and began your walk home.

Going to grab your phone from your back pocket, you bumped into someone.

Feeling a hand on your back, you looked up, making direct eye contact with one of the leaders of the greaser gang, Bucky Barnes.

“I am so sorry, I really wasn’t concentrating. I should look where I’m going, sorr-” You mumbled, rambling away, “Hey, don’t worry about it. Y/N, is it?” He smiled warmly at you, “Uh, yeah, that’s me.”

“We have English together, right?” He asked, trying to making eye contact as you looked everywhere but his into his eyes.

“That we do,” you laughed nervously, “See you Monday, I guess.”

“See you Monday, Y/N.” He smiled, brushing past you as you walked back home, texting Steve about your ‘incident’.

Soon enough, Monday rolled around.

School always dragged along on a Monday. Whether it be the non existent enthusiasm from the students, or the bore of lessons from teachers paid less than they’re owed.

Grabbing your bag and heading out of the classroom, you avoided the glare of the same boys from the coffee shop stood outside your classroom.

You felt their eyes leave as you trailed outside to try and find your friends, Steve and Peggy.

Walking past the bleachers, you felt all eyes on you as hands gripped your shoulders.

“If it isn’t Little Miss Y/N.” You span around to be met with the eyes of one of Bucky’s gang, another member of the Greasers.

“H-hi?” You questioned, looking away from where he stared deeply at you, backed by two more Greasers; the rest sat on the bleachers.

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. May I ask why this pretty little mouth of yours was talking to Barnes outside the coffee shop last night?” You looked up, horrified that anyone had seen yours and Bucky’s conversation.

“I-I didn’t mean anything by it! I bumped into hi-” He pressed a finger over your lips, his minions trailing behind you, as he whistled for more of them to come over.

You were surrounded. You’d seen this happen before, and you prayed every night that they would never do it to you.

Grabbing your bag roughly off your shoulders, you gasped as they pulled your books out one by one, until they reached your sketchbook.

“Well what do we have here? A sketchbook! Let’s have a looky here shall we?” He smirked, picking up the black book from your feet.

Flipping through your doodles and practices, you prayed they wouldn’t find your illustration of the picture Bucky had posted recently.

But they did. Just your luck.

“And it gets better! How 'bout we show this to Buck when he gets here, hey? Is that what you want, Y/N? Attention? Well, sweetheart, that’s what you’re gonna get.”

Tears began to spill down your cheeks as he cascaded the sketchbook to the ground once again, the pencil drawing looking like a watercolour.

“Now, Y/N. How 'bouts we deal with you.” He spat, getting closer to your face. Grinning, he grabbed your hair and pulled your face up to meet his eyes.

Taking a harsh slap to the face, you looked into his eyes as he laughed, “Fuck. You.” you spat.

“What was that, Y/N? Say that again.” He looked shocked, but hid it. “I said fuck you.” He looked at you again, “You’re gonna regret that Y/N.”

Taking another hit, you saw the blood hit the concrete on the other side of the book.

“Hey!” A loud voice echoed from outside their circle, as the rest of the group scattered, you sank to the floor.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doin’?” Bucky asked the boy stood opposite you, as you let more tears flow. “You know what, I don’t wanna hear it. Back off.”

Bucky kneeled in front of you, smiling softly. “Y/N?”

“Y-yeah?” You held your nose in fear of it bleeding further.

“I’m so sorry the did that to you, I promise I would never have let them if I would’ve known. Are you alright?”

“Apart from nursing a headache and this nose bleed, I’ll be okay.” You smiled back up at him, his eyes glistening as he looked at you. “Shit, you need to get to the nurse.” He looked around you at the destruction of your bag, trying to pick up your scattered books.

“Did you draw this?” He asked, awe taking over his features. “Um, yes, I did. I’m sorry, it’s lame. I just saw the picture on my feed and I needed prac-”

“Y/N, babe, this is incredible.” He grinned from ear to ear, holding the book so delicately. “T-thank you, Bucky. It means a lot.” He slung your bag over his shoulder, offering you a hand as he led you to the nurses office.

“I’m still so sorry, Y/N. Can I please take you for coffee or something to make up for it?” He asked, brushing your hair behind your ear as you held tissue to your nose.

“I don’t drink coffee, but I’m definitely always down for pizza.” You laughed, Bucky joining you. “Well, pizza it is. Are you free tonight?”

- 6 months later -

Finishing the final sentence of your last-minute homework, you shoved the books into your bag as a knock at the door snapped you out of the world of your science work.

Opening the door with a smile, you saw Bucky, donned in his leather jacket and all black outfit.

“Mornin’ baby.” He smiled, pressing a kiss to your lips as you grinned into it. “Good morning, Bucky.”

“Did you sleep okay?” He asked, interlocking his fingers with yours. “I’d sleep better if my boyfriend wouldn’t keep messaging me every five minutes!”

“Well forgive me for caring about you!” He laughed, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“You know I love you really.” You nudged him slightly as he grinned. “I love you too, doll.”

How Dan and Phil probably broke up #60 (Daniel's birthday edition)
  • Phil: *puts up decorations and calls dan in*
  • Dan: omg Phil this is ama- *looks at the hanging on wall that says happy birthday aniel*
  • Dan: um Phil isn't there supposed to be a D in Daniel?
  • Phil: there's going to be
  • Dan:
  • Phil: ;)

Random Sentences Starters

  • “Alright, I love you, but you need Jesus.”
  • “Are you done?”
  • “Are you reading fanfiction?”
  • “Can I have your fries?”
  • “Coffee is the only substance I drink.”
  • “Did you get my text?”
  • “Eat my whole ass.”
  • “Hey, don’t insult memes!”
  • “How long have you been playing that game?”
  • “I don’t know whether to be insulted or impressed.”
  • “I like your taste in music.”
  • “I said I’m sorry!”
  • “I think your gayness might be affecting me.”
  • “It’s a damn shame.”
  • “I’ll be home in five minutes.”
  • “I’m just gonna nope out of this situation.”
  • “I’m sorry…”
  • “I’m three feet away from you, why did you text me?”
  • “Let me go.”
  • “Like a good neighbour I’m gonna take your shit and never give it back.”
  • “Me. I meant me.”
  • “Nice voice crack.”
  • “Our friendship is weird as hell. But so are we. So it’s perfect!”
  • “Please don’t do this…”
  • “Suck my ass through a straw.”
  • “Touching leads to babies.”
  • “Um?”
  • “Wait up!”
  • “What are you talking about?”
  • “What the hell is that?”
  • “… What the fuck is wrong with you?”
  • “What’s going on?”
  • “Why are you like this?”
  • “Your taste in music is shit.”
  • “You’re trash for her, aren’t you?”
  • “You’re trash for him, aren’t you?”
Long time coming

Bucky x reader

Notes: fluff, hot coffee, Steve and Sam are bratty.

A/N: I needed something short and sweet. So here it is. Enjoy! x 

Summary: a morning incident involving hot coffee finally brings Y/N and Bucky together. 

The moment Y/N walked the kitchen door of the small cabin, Bucky’s eyes were fixed on her. Even though she just woke up and looked a mess with her bedhead and her oversized MIT jersey, he couldn’t stop watching her. As she reached over to the coffee machine she moaned softly -but dramatically- at the movements she had to make to get her daily fuel.

Bucky couldn’t help but smile. She always had a dramatic streak, in a humorous kind of way.

“You alright there, soldier?” He chuckled at her, trying his best to not stare at her ass when she reached up to grab a mug from the cupboard. She wasn’t wearing anything but her cotton panties underneath the MIT jersey, and Bucky wasn’t complaining. 

Keep reading

Skype Meeting
  • Germany: ... why are we doing this again??
  • America: because we're too lazy to move out of our houses for a meeting, so we came up with this solution!
  • England: this is a bad idea- FROG WHY ARE YOU SHIRTLESS???
  • France: um, because I didn't feel like dressing up for a Skype meeting, duh!
  • China: you guys better have a good reason skyping me this early in the morning...
  • Japan: ... I... agree...
  • Italy: veh, sorry I'm late~ but my internet's been acting up weirdly
  • Russia: same with mine-
  • America: ... what?
  • England: WHAT? WHAT DID YOU LOT SAY?? I CAN HARDLY HEAR YOU!
  • Germany: Mein Gott, stop shouting England!
  • England: WHAT?? I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY BLOODY SOUND!!
  • China: I don't have time for this shit- What the?? My screen is off?? What, how do I get my face to show again??
  • Japan: not this again... and Russia-san's frozen... and everyone's going at 3 frames per second... what.
  • America: Da fuck is going on?? Italy, what's wrong with your screen?? It's so pixelated!
  • Italy: ve~? Oh, maybe it's because I'm downloading something for 5 gigabytes~~
  • Germany:
  • England: ... WHAT'S GERMANY SAYING???
  • France: I think there's something wrong with his mic-
  • America: France oh my God, you froze with the most ugliest face!!
  • England: BWAHAHAHA!!
  • France: SHUT UP HOW DO I FIX THIS????
  • Italy: ve~~~
  • Germany: *actually shouting but no one can hear*
  • China: where's my face??
  • Japan: ... I don't have the mental strength to deal with this right now...
  • Russia: *still frozen in time*
  • America: ... I can't believe we manage to fuck up a virtual meeting...
Empty Libraries

Pairing: Lin Manuel Miranda x Reader

Request: Could you do something fluffy w Lin, idk why but could you?- anon

Summary: “you’re talking to yourself in a silent library about how much you hate studying and how you’re going to fail, need help? i just so happen to major in that subject and oh shit, you’re really cute”

Warnings: first fic? otherwise just lots of fluff and a little awkward Lin.

A/N: have fun, and I’d really appreciate feedback!

Word Count: 1929

Keep reading

Hot Like Burning

Sterek, 2.5K words, Teen

AU, Firefighter Derek

In which Derek is the grumpy neighborhood firefighter, and Stiles is a bit of a lovestruck idiot.


Stiles winces as he turns the corner, unbearably nervous like he always is whenever he drives Lydia’s car, and pulls into the fire station. He offered this morning to help her with any errands she needed, and she asked him to take her car to the fire station and have them install the car seat. Stiles had no idea this was even a thing—seriously, how hard is it to put in a car seat?—but unsurprisingly, Lydia is as fastidious about her unborn child’s safety as she is about everything else.

He parks just outside the front door, careful not to block the big bays with the two fire trucks, and wanders inside. “Hello?” he calls out. There’s a noise coming from the other side of the fire truck, so Stiles keeps walking in that direction, then nearly trips over his own two feet.

There’s a guy, crouched down as he washes the wheel well of the fire truck, and Stiles is 101 percent sure that he’s the most attractive person he’s ever seen. He’s frowning, as if he’s pissed at the task in front of him, but it only serves to show off the sharp cut of his jaw under a very nicely-shaped short beard. He’s wearing a tight short-sleeved SFFD t-shirt, which is wet in patches and very clearly showing off the muscled physique underneath.

“Holy shit.”

The guy’s head jerks up at that, his eyes wide, and his gaze locks with Stiles’ for a long second before slowly drifting down the rest of his body. Stiles damn near forgets how to breathe because yep, this impossibly hot dude is most definitely checking him out.

Stiles has never believed in love at first sight, and he still doesn’t, but as of this moment he most certainly does believe in…familiarity at first sight? Cosmic connection? Just plain lust? He has no fucking clue.

But he yelps a little in surprise, then actually manages to trip over nothing, only catching himself by clutching the pillar next to him, which oh fuck, is actually the fire pole. He finally rights himself, grimacing with both arms spread for balance, and then slaps a hand over his eyes with a plaintive groan.

“Oh my god. Hi, hello, my name is Stiles. Uh, any chance we can start over and pretend that this excruciatingly embarrassing encounter didn’t happen?”

Keep reading

My Girlfriend's An Idiot

Request: I was wondering if you could do a Jasper imagine, from twilight, where he and the reader are fighting because she’s human and he doesn’t want her to get hurt, but she does the thing regardless and someone accidentally hurts her and Jasper’s alter ego comes out and almost attacks the person so reader has to calm him down and it’s just really cute and fluffy… Sorry this is long.

Warnings: swearing, fluff

Originally posted by sweetlambs

“You know, for someone who’s seen me naked, I’m a little uncomfortable at how much you try to act like you’re my father.” You snapped, walking through your house, gathering the stuff you’d need for your day trip.  

“Y/N, you know I’d never try to control you. I’m just … worried about having you over there. Where I can’t reach you.” Jasper followed behind you. 

You sighed. Jessica had invited you to La Push for the day, and Jasper had basically asserted that you were not going to go. He was bothered by the fact that he couldn’t go with you and protect you. And probably slightly bothered by the fact that you’d be hanging out with boys from school. Mostly, though, he worried about the Quileute pack making an appearance.

“Bella’s going too, you and Edward can suffer together.” You said, throwing sun screen and a towel into your tote bag. You felt yourself calming down, and turned around. “Can you please not do that?”  

Jasper’s lips twitched. “It’s a habit.” 

“Well quit it. I’m angry at you. Take it like a man.” You said, a hint of humor in your voice as you turned around, making your way to the bathroom and shutting the door behind you so that you could change into a bathing suit. He was still standing there when you came out. 

“They’re animals.” Jasper said. “And even worse, they’re teenage boys.” 

You heard the dryness in his voice but you could see the worry in his expression. He truly didn’t want you to go. 

“Mostly, though, they’re just teenage boys. And I can handle those.” You said, grabbing his hands. “Jess and Angela and Bella are gonna be there too, okay? And Mike and Eric.” 

Jasper rolled his eyes. “Mike and Eric couldn’t protect you from a pack of guinea pigs.”  You snorted, but softened when he wrapped his arms around you from behind. “They’ll be able to smell me on you. If you got hurt, I don’t know what I would do.” 

You turned to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your lips to his. “I’ll be careful.” You said, putting one hand on his cheek, fingers brushing over his sharp jawline. “I’ll text you. I’ll stay with people I know. But I’m going.” 

He sighed, his hands rubbing absently over your hips. “I suppose I can’t stop you.” He smirked. “I mean, I could.” 

“But you won’t.” You said smugly, turning to pack the rest of your things. 

“Because my girlfriend carries a surprising amount of wrath in her fragile, mortal body?” He asked, hands still on your hips. 

“Yes.” You say, shouldering you bag. “And because you love her and would never dream of restricting her freedom for your own selfish reasons.”  

“I’m so glad we’re on the same page.” He said sarcastically, leaning in to kiss your lips, and then your jaw, and down your throat, before he stiffened and Jessica’s car honked from the street. 

“Guess that’s my ride.” You said. 

He nodded, no longer trying to conceal the worry in his eyes. “I’ll text you.” You said, and he nodded again, stiffly. “And I love you.” You said softly, with a smile. 

He was unable to stop the smile that answered yours, “Yeah, yeah. Sure you do.” He said softly, which was his way of saying it back. 

You kissed him again when he walked you to the door before you jumped into the backseat of Jessica’s convertible, where Bella was already seated with Angela in the front. Jessica cranked up the music on the radio before the four of you sped off to meet up with Mike and Eric and head to La Push. 

You spent the first couple of hours tossing around in the waves. You wrestled Mike to the ground for slapping you with a piece of sea weed until he finally gave up fighting you and apologized. You crawled onto the beach exhausted with the girls and sat in the sand, under the cool grey sky. Though you could tell Jasper was desperately trying not to check in too much, you made sure he knew you were okay every hour or two. 

The boys suggested, once it became too cold to swim, that they all take a hike up to the cliffs. Everyone was fairly rested up after swimming and agreed, so you all shrugged your clothes back on and set off up the narrow mountain trail that led to the cliffs above La Push beach. 

“And people jump off of these for fun?” Jessica asked skeptically, trying to stare over the cliffs but not daring to come within five feet of the edge. 

“That make you nervous?” Mike made like he was going to push her and earned a shriek and a smart punch in the arm in return.  

“Any of you ever jumped before?” All of them turned to see a group of three boys emerging onto the cliff, clad in normal clothes but clearly very muscular, and all with dark hair cropped short and dark eyes. You’d never seen the wolves in person but you knew that these had to be some of them, ripped with muscle though the oldest one couldn’t have been more than twenty.  

“No way, man.” Eric said. “I’m Eric. This is Mike, that’s Jessica, Y/N, Bella, and Angela.” 

“Sam.” 

“Jared.” 

“Paul.” Each of the boys introduced themselves. You noticed them glancing at you, and you realized Jasper must have been right. They could smell him on you. They all shared a glance and you tried your best not to notice, staring at your phone. 

They’re here. You texted Jasper. 

His reply was almost immediate: I will come get you. 

Do not cross that treaty line. You sent back. Under any circumstances.

You ground your teeth, looking up briefly. 

“Y/N, we’re headed back down to start a campfire. You coming?” Angela asked, frowning briefly your troubled expression and glancing at your phone. 

“I’ll be down in a minute.”  You said, and they left you alone. You looked back down at your phone.  

Who’s being selfish now? Jasper asked.

For keeping you from starting a war? You challenged. 

For risking your life because you’re too stubborn to admit you might be in danger.  He shot back.  

You shook your head, eyes completely focused on your phone when suddenly the ground fell out from under you and you screamed. 

The edge of the cliff. You’d wandered too close to the edge of the cliff. You were falling, eyes closed, and then, with a painful jerk of your arm, you weren’t anymore. Someone had caught you. The one named Sam had grabbed your wrist. 

“Grab the ledge.” He said, voice straining with the effort of holding your dead weight. You did and slowly, he hauled you back onto the rocky outcropping. You collapsed on your back on the hard ground, breathing heavily, your arm draped over your eyes. 

“Nice … catch.” You said between breaths, still reeling, adrenaline coursing like acid through your veins. 

“No problem.” Sam said, sitting beside you. His chest still heaved but he was catching his breath a lot easier than you were. “For future reference though, maybe don’t text on the edge of a cliff.” 

You let out a laugh, loud with relief as it dawned on you that you very well could have been killed just now and somehow remained relatively unscathed. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.” You said, bringing your phone up to look at it before you realized it was not in your hand. 

“Oh no.” You said, rolling onto your stomach and leaning up to look over the cliff before slapping your hand over your face. “Shit, shit, shit!”  

You jumped to your feet and found yourself dizzy. Sam steadied you. 

“Take it easy, what’s wrong?” He asked. 

“My phone!” You pointed to the cliff. “I was talking to-” You cut yourself off, realizing who you were talking to now, and just shook your head. “Um … I need to get ahold of someone. Do you have a cell phone?”  

He shook his head, “Sorry. I’m sure one of your friends does, though. We can walk down and …” His voice trailed off as you thought. Jasper was panicking. You just knew it. If you told him the wolves were here and then didn’t text him back … the longer you waited increased the likelihood that he was on his way here. It left you with one option. 

You turned to face Sam. “I need you to drive me to the treaty line.”  

Sam didn’t seem all that surprised that you knew what that was, but crossed his arms and looked you over. “Why?” 

“You know who my boyfriend is, I know you can smell it on me.” You said. He tilted his head up and watched you. “I was texting him about you being here. If he knows I was with you and then I don’t text back, he’ll try to come get me.”  

Sam’s eyebrows shot up. “And start a war?” 

“If he thinks I’m in danger.” You said. “You’re the leader, right? Sam Uley?” He watched you, but didn’t say anything. “This doesn’t have to end in a fight. Not if you can get me there in time.” 

Sam seemed to look over you, trying to decide if you were telling the truth, before he shook his head. “Get on.” 

He took off his shirt and doubled over and before you knew it a black wolf the size of a grizzly bear was standing in front of you. Get on, he’d said.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” You mumbled, before struggling onto his back. He let out a small growl which you guessed was wolf for ‘hold on’ and then took off at a run.

You’d been running with Jasper before, and were quite surprised to find that the wolf was just as fast, if not faster. Trees flew by you in a blur of darkness now that the sun had set and before you knew it, you’d reached the treaty line. You rolled off his back and doubled over, hands on knees, stomach churning. Though he was just as fast, Sam was not nearly as graceful. He looked at you warily before something in the woods caught his attention and he crouched into a more defensive position.

“Jasper?” You called out, knowing that’s the only one it could be, but Sam’s head was darting around, his lips curling back over huge canine teeth. There was more than one. “Emmett? Alice? Ed?” You guessed. “I’m fine, no one’s trying to hurt me.”

You glanced at the ground for something, perhaps, that marked where the actual treaty line was, but there was nothing, so you just glanced back at Sam and moved about ten feet forward, hoping that would put you in Cullen territory.

Emmet and Edward appeared just ten feet away, eyes trained on the wolf. Jasper was already in front of you.

“You smell like one of them, are you hurt?” He asked, voice stricken with tension.

“No, I lost my phone and-” You tried but he interrupted you.

“What’s this?” Jasper held up your bruised wrist and ignited a similar pain in your shoulder from where Sam had hauled you back over the cliff. You sucked air through your teeth and jerked your hand away from him instinctively.

What happened next happened very quickly. Edward, reading Jasper’s thoughts, said something along the lines of ‘grab him’ and before you knew it Emmet and Jasper were struggling behind you, Jasper trying to get to Sam, Emmett pouring all of his strength into keeping Jasper behind the treaty line. Sam was crouched and snarling, not attacking first but ready should Jasper get to him. Edward realized that Emmett may not be enough to hold him and grabbed Jasper’s other shoulder as Jasper kicked and snarled, as if all he wanted was to cross the treaty line. Before you really knew what you were doing, you were standing in front of Jasper.

“Y/N he’s not in control right now, you need to move.” Edward said seriously. He was not as strong as Emmett and his grip on Jasper’s arm kept slipping. You didn’t listen.

“Jasper look at me. Not him, me.” You said evenly. He didn’t listen until your hand touched his face. When he looked at you, you could tell it was not entirely Jasper staring back at you. Not your Jasper, anyway. “He didn’t hurt me, okay? You have to believe me, he didn’t. I lost my phone. He brought me here because I knew you’d be looking for me.” You said, your nails scratching in the hairs at the base of his neck.

He was still struggling but it seemed as if he was struggling away from you now, afraid he’d hurt you when he was not in control.

“Look at me.” You said again, forcing him to focus only on you.

“It’s working.” Edward said, looking at you. “Keep going.”

You looked back to Jasper and smiled. “Baby I’m fine. No one hurt me.” You said, your hands on either side of his face. “Listen, I’ll explain everything. But I need you to calm down.”

Jasper glanced back at Sam, and you did too.

“Thank you, Sam. For everything. You can go.” You said. Sam watched you for a second before he seemed to decide to trust you, and turned, loping off into the woods.

“He didn’t hurt you?” Jasper asked, his voice still laced with fury, but it was clear he was back in control.

“You can let him go.” You said to Emmett and Jasper, taking a breath.

“He saved her life.” Edward said, having apparently read Sam’s thoughts, “Apparently you were the one who almost killed her.” His voice was thick with amusement.

Jasper’s eyes widened and he straightened up. “What?” He asked.

You laughed in spite of yourself. “I may have been arguing with you and walked off a cliff.”

Jasper just watched you. “What.”

You broke into a fit of giggles and put your uninjured arm around him. “Let’s just go home. I have to go buy a new cellphone tomorrow.”

“My girlfriend’s an idiot.” Jasper put his arm around you, clearly pissed but amused as well.

“You love her.” You said smugly. His arm tightened around your waist.

dean/cas fic: circular (1k)

circular; 1k, pre-coda, inspired by the latest 12x19 promo.

[AO3]

Dean jumps slightly when the bunker’s door creaks. It’s been over a month, but he still thinks please, please, please before looking up.

“Cas,” Sam says.

Cas’ shoulders are stiff. “Hello.”

“Hey. You’re all right. Um ─” Cas turns away and starts down the stairs. Sam glances at Dean before continuing, “Where’ve you been?”

Dean’s pulse is thumping in his ears. “Lemme rephrase that for Sam: where the hell’ve you been? And why’ve you ignored our phone calls?”

“Where I was,” Cas says, pausing beside the table, “the reception was ─ um. Poor.”

Dean’s jaw tics; being angry is easier than ─ it’s just easier. He grunts, “No bars,” and looks back at Sam. “No bars ─ that’s his excuse.” He takes a breath and meets Cas’ eyes. “Wow.”

“I was in Heaven. I was… working with the angels.”

Dean’s mouth moves but nothing comes out. On his third try he says, “You ─ Heaven? You were in Heaven?”

“Yes.”

“So you ─ uh. You.” Heat crowds up underneath Dean’s jaw. “You were - did you -?” He’s not sure he wants to ask that question in front of Sam, so he grumbles, “Whatever,” and walks out of the War Room.

+

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Can I roll to shoot it in the balls?

Context, our DM is running us through our first dungeon (5e), we’re a four man party, and only two of us are experienced with DnD of any kind. The first part of dungeon was mostly just cannon fodder monsters, so we would learn about the basic combat mechanics, I was playing a rogue, who loved to use a hand crossbow, and we come upon two zombies in a hallway, and quickly killed one.

DM: Alright, there’s only one zombie left what do you do?

Warlock OOC: I’m gonna blast him back with Eldritch blast

*rolls 19*

DM: The zombie is blown backwards, and is now lying down on his back

Rogue: I’m gonna shoot him in his balls

DM: I’m sorry.., what?

Rogue OOC: Yeah, I want the bolt to enter through his crotch, and leave through his head.

DM: Um, okay roll I guess?

Rogue: *nat 20*

DM: The arrow flies through the zombies groin and out his skull, trailing behind it the zombie’s nuts as it thuds into the wall, leaving your trophy to claim!

For some reason, I could not find this scene. Like I know it exists, but I couldn’t find it. Anyway, I’m gonna roll with this! For @jigglejaggle (Sorry this sat so long!)

It didn’t take long for the Paladins to learn to not underestimate their Bayards.

When Pidge shocked Lance with hers, she didn’t mean it as anything other than an annoyed jab to hush the boy, and when he fell to the ground, she smirked.

But, he didn’t come back up.

“Um, guys?” She started, staring at Lance with furrowed brows, and when Lance suddenly started convulsing, she cursed loudly. “Shit! Guys!”

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