sorry the last ones for my own personal tag bc i'm dumb

anonymous asked:

I'm glad someone else thinks callout culture is too extreme and kind of awful. Anytime I've said that it's really toxic I get people saying things like oh so you don't want people to care about xyz and I'm like?? I never said that,, like yeah call people out for their shitty behavior but when someone makes one small mistake and they genuinely didn't realize it was wrong how about we don't crucify them. People like to point out others wrongdoing but never point out their own and it bothers me.

I’ve even paused my One Direction video to answer this, bc I want to give it my full attention and I cannot do that with Harry Styles in my peripheral vision. Also this is gonna be long. I didn’t pause the boys to half ass this answer.

Anyway, I don’t necessarily think callout culture in itself is a bad thing, i think it’s really important to identify things that are genuinely a problem and let people know why. That’s how we learn and grow as people. The problem with it, particularly on this website, is the extreme to which people take it. 

What callout culture should be is if Person A makes a comment that is kinda Yikes™, Person B steps up and says “sorry, but you said this thing, and i just wanted to let you know it’s kinda Yikes™ for these reasons.” For example, I made a post at like 4.30am about B/uckynat in the MCU and how i can’t see it bc like my blog title says, I am v much an advocate for Gay!Bucky in the MCU. Anyway, I tagged that post with “no offence but ur ship is non-existent in the MCU and Bucky likes dick” and then I went to bed and didn’t think anything else of it. Then when I woke up I had a message that was like “Sorry I just wanted to let you know that equating being gay to liking dick is kinda Yikes™ bc it ignores trans men” and I was like “Shit sorry, I tagged it at like 4.30am i didn’t even think, sorry, I’ll change it to Bucky likes men” and then that was that and we all moved on with our lives. 

However, more often, what we actually get is Person A makes a comment that is kinda Yikes™, Person B is like “Wow why would you say that it’s so Yikes™, what an asshole, consider yourself blocked” and then Person B makes a post like “Just to let you all know that Person A is Super Yikes™ and you should all block and unfollow them” and then Person C and Person D see and they’re like “wow that’s awful what a shitty person” - as if one single comment is enough to condemn a person. 

And that’s made worse when they’re talking about someone in the public eye. Celebrity A makes a comment without being aware of it being a problematic thing to do, and then they have hundreds of People B’s seeing it and making posts like “Celebrity A said this one thing 4 years ago, they’re an awful person, a shitty human being, they’re cancelled.” and then Person C steps in and says “But, Celebrity A has spent the last 4 years displaying behaviours that show they have educated themselves and done better and are trying to make a difference? Maybe we should forgive the poorly informed comment they made once and perhaps judge the strength of their character on the good things they’ve done since?” and then Person B shows up again like “Oh so you think its okay to say things that are so Yikes™, wow Celebrity A is an asshole and so are you Person C” 

And that is more of a problem than what they’re trying to callout. No one is going to learn or want to learn, if there are so many people that behave like it doesn’t matter what you do, a mistake you made years ago is what you will forever be judged by. Every single one of us says dumb shit. Every single one of us can do better. Because we are human beings, and we make mistakes and we fuck up and we falter. But our individual mistakes aren’t what show the people that we are, it’s how we better ourselves and how we improve.

And saying one or two things that are Yikes™ doesn’t make you a bad person. It means you are uneducated in that area and need to be taught a little more. Or it means you simply made a mistake and weren’t thinking properly and needed someone to point it out so you could fix it. Yes there are people that deserve to be called out as being continuously gross and not learning from the shit they do (I’m talking J/ennifer Lawrence, A/my Schumer, J/ohnny Depp etc) and that’s fair enough, bc they keep showing that they don’t care enough to do better, they show themselves time and time again to be of poor character. 

But like, I see it on my posts about Chris Evans all the time. He spends a lot of his time educating himself on social and political issues and trying to do better and make a difference with his privilege and people will bring up something he said in an interview like 7 years ago as a reason why he’s an asshole? Despite him showing time and time again that he’s a good dude trying to do good?

Would you want to be judged for who you were 7 years ago? Or would you like to think that you’d grown and developed and bettered yourself in the last 7 years and you were a different person now than you were then? The problem with this website is that a lot of the time they don’t think about that, it’s all just done in extremes and that’s the wrong way to go about doing anything honestly.