sorry not sorry this is so big

anonymous asked:

do u only blog about harry now?

For now….yes. I do blog about the other boys occasionally but for the most part, I want to blog about what makes me happiest and that’s Harry.

I haven’t changed my core opinions as a larrie nor do I dislike Louis but most of my time as a 1d fan was filled with stress over this or that bit of drama and that peaked with Louis in 2015 and continued into 2016. There were times when I dreaded looking at my dash because some idiotic thing had likely happened and fandom was no longer fun. I still liked 1d but my experience here had become more about worrying about someone else’s drama to the point where I’d find myself feeling anxious (and getting actual headaches/stomachaches) about how Louis would handle this or that story. I’m already an anxious person but someone else’s life shouldn’t have THAT much of an effect on me. I put up with it last year because there was nothing else happening but now that Harry is releasing music and giving us A+ content almost completely free of drama, that’s much more appealing to me. It was especially helpful this year when my mental state was topsy turvy again over stuff going on irl. I’m still trying to fully cut out the thing that makes me anxious now but I can control my fandom experience a lot easier so if I have to focus primarily on one person then so be it.

If you like Louis (I’m specifically mentioning him and not the others because I feel like that’s who you’re talking about considering I never blogged a ton about Liam and Niall even though I love them and 1d as a whole) and you find being a fan of his is fun and rewarding then great! I don’t find it fun to be angry on someone else’s behalf though when I have other stuff to worry about. Should things change for the better, I’ll be back in a heartbeat but I’m happy with my fandom experience the way it is now.

She’s the betta half of the two

4

“i don’t have the tears to cry anymore. but…i at least have to keep yu safe” // “i promise you, mika. even if i have to sell out the whole world to do it, i’ll make sure you’re turned back into a human.”

hello, i’m erin.

i’m really poor, my family is financially unstable all the time because my parents have walking/moving disabilities and it’s hard for them to find proper jobs since they can barely move. lately we’ve been having major financial problems.

they both used to work until the thing i was afraid of happened; my diabetic mom’s health condition started getting worse and worse. she couldn’t handle the pressure and the bullying at work so she had to quit her job. however, her health is the main priority in this entire thing so i don’t blame her at all.

as for now, my father is the only source of income. his monthly salary is $150 and as you can see that’s far from enough to maintain three people. i’ve tried to get a job myself but no one wanted to hire me because i’m a minor.

for the past few months my mom’s illness has been progressing, we even got her a wheelchair since she couldn’t walk at all. she needs a damn expensive diabetic healthcare course right now. my father works day and night just to gain some money. also, i contributed with my savings even though it wasn’t much. 

yesterday, she got into a diabetic coma. it’s a life-threatening diabetes complication that can lead to death if it’s left untreated. in the case of my mother, it is fatal. the treatment that can help is extremely expensive and i have no idea what me and my dad are supposed to do in this situation.

our efforts are not enough for my mom’s medical assurance. the amount of money we have by now can provide only around half a month (if not less) of medicines. my dad is working all the time he doesn’t even sleep at this point, it’s a miracle if he gets at least 2 hours of sleep a day. but unfortunately it’s never enough.

i feel pathetic and useless, the tears are streaming down my face as i’m typing this and the fact that i can’t help in any way is killing me. it’s an obvious fact that she is going to die if we don’t pay for the medical assurance. please help, i really don’t want to lose my mother she means the world to me.

only money can help us in this harsh situation so if you can donate i’ll be forever thankful. 

if you can, do it through paypal. my paypal email is: erinrin.rin@mail.ru

any amount will be highly appreciated, i’m not asking for much, really. also reblog this please, it does matter and i hope i’ll find people who can help. i’ve seen people on here do wonderful things to help people in need just like me. i truly believe that you have the power to save my mother. i will try to post this on gofund me as well so hopefully more people will get to know about my terrible situation. i know i already posted about my mother’s condition around 1 year ago on my another account and i’m really sorry for sharing my situation again, but back then it wasn’t even half as bad as it is now. i need your help now more than ever so please be understanding. i truly hope that you kind people can help us. it’s totally okay if you don’t donate though, just keep my mom in your prayers please, it means a lot. 

i’m desperate please help, i’m begging you, i don’t want to lose my mother.

thank you so much.

"copycat” still really bothers me

i’m sure i’m not the first person to notice this but i’m rewatching the show and the episode “copycat” just gets me so annoyed and irritated because of how adrien was written in that episode. this is probably the episode where we have the most blatant, explicit evidence of one of adrien’s flaws (i.e. his jealousy) and he is at no point forced to be held accountable for his actions. 

adrien quite literally causes an akuma because of his jealousy. but he is not forced to apologize to theo for lying about his relationship with ladybug, he’s not forced to apologize to ladybug for lying about said relationship without her consent, and adrien himself is not allowed time in the episode to acknowledge his jealousy, find fault in it, and learn from his mistake. 

adrien as a character already has this annoying habit of being presented as the “perfect boy” who very rarely makes mistakes and is idolized for it. not just by marinette. by pretty much everyone. “jackady” had this really strange scene where gabriel and ladybug were staring at adrien’s modeling shots and gushing about how “flawless” and “perfect” he is. and most of adrien’s arguably negative qualities (e.g. his occassional inability to take things seriously in battle, his naivete, his occasional impulsiveness as chat noir, etc.) are often presented in ways that either make us sympathize with his behavior or find it endearing. 

“copycat” is probably one of the only (if not the only) episodes where adrien is very clearly doing something wrong. he’s angry that theo likes ladybug so much so he lies about his relationship with ladybug and tells theo they’re a thing so that he can back off and chat noir can have ladybug all to himself. 

the problem is that the show doesn’t call out adrien for this jealousy. about the only time it does is when plagg makes a dig at him right when adrien realizes who the akuma is. 

and despite this, adrien merely rolls his eyes at plagg and scoffs at the comment as if it’s a joke. that was the perfect opportunity for adrien to take just a few seconds to say “you’re right. i should’ve never lied and let myself get jealous. that was wrong of me.”

about the best we can get is when chat noir acknowledges that he was the one who caused the akuma so he’s the one who has to go and get himself out of it. but at no point does he tell ladybug why this happened (especially because it involves her) and at no point does he vocalize the mistake he made, i.e. the fact that he let his jealousy take over. 

then this is where the episode really starts to bother me

he calls out ladybug for not showing up to the statue unveiling. they actually make chat noir take time in the middle of his screw up to basically tell ladybug “well maybe you’d know what’s going on if you showed up this morning.” ladybug had done nothing wrong in regards to this akuma. we’re dealing with her phone stealing and her bad time management on the side, but this has nothing to do with the akuma. if anyone’s mistakes should be being highlighted here, it’s adrien’s. 

but the episode continues to just let adrien get away with the fact that he lied. ladybug praises chat noir for his honesty and for the fact that he’s never lied to ladybug about anything (hello, irony) and normally this would be a pretty good moment for chat noir to at least look guilty. but instead he merely thanks her for the compliment and continues fighting anyway. 

and then it gets even worse because the one who apologizes at the end of the episode is ladybug!! she apologizes to theo for not showing up to the unveiling! which, fine ok, but where was adrien’s apology? where was his opportunity to explain to ladybug that he messed up for lying about their relationship, causing this akuma, and putting ladybug in danger?

it’s replaced with chat noir’s angst about his crush not being returned. 

we feel bad for him at the end of this episode because his “crush was crushed.” let alone that he let his jealousy get the better of him and lied to a stranger about ladybug and his relationship behind her back. we end the episode feeling sympathy for chat noir because ladybug doesn’t feel the same way for him. mr. perfect finally has an episode where he screws up and the show does not allow him to take sufficient responsibility for it and own up to his mistake. 

and it further annoys me that this happened because anytime marinette messes up, she almost always apologizes. when she didn’t listen to chloe and caused her to be akumatized? she apologized to her for not listening to her. when she yelled at lila and caused her to be akumatized because of her own jealousy? she apologized to lila for being so mean to her. marinette is continuously asked to own up to her mistakes and apologize for them (as she should) meanwhile the one time adrien screws up, he gets let off for it. 

idk man, it just gets me upset that adrien got it so easy in this episode. he should’ve apologized to theo. he should’ve told ladybug the truth. he should’ve owned up to the fact that his jealousy was totally unwarranted. 

some people asked for more big 3 and of course i couldn’t refuse :”)