Those Days - t.h.
september 21st, 2017
prompt: reader feels too alone. tom steps in to help in any way he can.
word count: 1.4k bc bee (me) can’t contain herself!!
warnings: anxiety, sad feelings+thoughts, major fluff (hopefully, if i did the fluff right lol)
a/n: this is for @enjoy-tracking-this-lamp bc she deserves some fluff!! feel better hun :) also this is
u n e d i t e d i’m sorry in advance - this is my first ever posted writing so feedback is much appreciated!! thanks readers!! :)
pairing: tom holland x reader
song: flesh and bone by keaton henson
(song was suggested by @enjoy-tracking-this-lamp and it’s vvv good i 10/10 recommend anyone reading to listen to it while you read)
Tom’s knuckles lightly tapped the door to your apartment with contained joy. He hadn’t been home for almost eight hours, since he had spent the day in the city with his family, and it was already too much time apart from you. He hated to be cliche but in all honesty, he wanted to spend every second of his days with you.
He was a little disappointed when he hadn’t heard the sound of your feet padding across the floor to welcome him home. Another knock against the door was greeted with another round of silence. Tom finally decided to let himself in with the key you’d given him.
He peeked his head around the corner to see if you were possibly in the kitchen. The kitchen turned up empty, leaving Tom’s heart to sink a little further in his chest.
“Y/N, love? I’m back!” He raised his voice loud enough just in case you were in the shower. He wandered through the kitchen into the hallway where your bedroom was.
Tom’s brow scrunched down in confusion when he heard soft music playing through the hallway. It was very faint but from what Tom could tell, it held a melancholy tune that was starting to grip him.
And I am alone, so don’t speak
I find war, and I find peace
I find no heat, no love in me
He instantly knew what the sad music meant despite how you had never told him about these days you had. These days that would sneak up on you like the clouds sneak up over a city, ready to rain down their troubles onto the citizens below. What pained him was to know that this kind of lonely day had come up on you when he had gone out with his family, leaving you to brew in your anxious thoughts on your own.
He gently pushed your bedroom door back. You were laying in bed with your laptop paused on a Netflix original that hadn’t done its job to distract you from the worries trying to cloud your mind. The music had been playing in place of the movie. You had figured that if you couldn’t avoid the worries, you might as well face them. You shot up instantly from your side when you saw Tom standing in the doorway behind the screen of your laptop.
You cleared your throat. “Hey Tom. .” You cringed at how your voice had cracked from such a short sentence. His Adam’s apple shot up before settling back in the center of his throat as he felt his own worry for you double.
“How are you doing?” He asked quietly. He leaned his shoulder against the doorframe with his hands shoved into his pockets. Guilt was washing over him about having gone out to enjoy the wonders of the city with his family while you had been holed up at home.
You pulled a weak smile out. “I’m okay.”
And my body’s weak
Feel my heart giving up on me
I’m worried it might just be
And my body’s weak
Tom sighed and pushed off the doorframe. You blinked at him since he didn’t say anything, instead crossing the room in four steps before he crashed onto the bed next to you. “You don’t have to tell me darling, but I know that was a lie.”
He closed your laptop before moving it to the table beside your bed. Tom could see the thoughts swirling in the irises of your eyes before you had even said anything. You bit your lip and lowered your gaze onto your lap as you sat with your legs crossed beneath you. He scooted himself so close to you that you were sat between his legs and kicked his shoes off. He scooped you into his embrace before they clambered to the floor.
“I’m here.” Tom whispered. His fingers, as rough and calloused as they may be, were tracing the softest and most delicate circles on one of your shoulder blades while his other hand was holding you close to his chest. You finally let your guard down so that you could sink into his chest.
Feel my lungs giving up on me
I’m worried it might just be
Something my soul needs
The music still played in the background, but the steady breaths leaving Tom combined with the gentle rise and fall of his chest was all you needed. Somehow he knew of your anxieties, your fears, your overwhelming worries, and your underwhelming solutions, and you couldn’t have been more grateful for a man like Tom who was willing to search for these pieces of your identity, of who you are. You bit your lip and took in a long breath through your nose.
Tom’s legs wrapped around you in a criss-cross pattern as you had your legs beneath you. You felt cozy and comforted to have him holding you close.
“And I see war on the screen,
And it is cruel and unclean,
But I still worry more about you,” Tom quietly sang to you. You could feel his lips kiss the top of your hair before he rested his chin there. Another few verses came along with the two of you still embracing like this, caving in on one another.
Tom was worried that maybe this wasn’t working. He knew he wasn’t the best at handling the bad thoughts when he had them, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let you suffer through yours without him battling them down when he could. Tom pulled back a bit to glance at your face to see if you were alright.
You looked up at him with a smile that was much brighter than the one you had tried to pass off earlier. He let out a breath he had unintentionally been holding and smiled with a small amount of relief.
You managed to pull the both of you down so you were laying in his embrace still. His legs were also still wrapped around you. A thought flitted through his mind.
“If I were a koala, you would be my favorite tree Y/N.” He mumbled. You scrunched your eyebrows and your nose while a giggle left your lips.
His eyes shot open wide while a rosy blush creeped into his cheeks.“Sorry! That was so stupid, jeez Tom-”
You laughed again. “No no, it was funny. And cute. I’m honored.” You bit your lip and looked him in the eyes.
A lazy smile spread across his face. He leaned forward to kiss the apples of your cheeks and the tip of your nose before reaching your lips. The warm and buttery-smooth kiss that Tom gave you was the one to help the knot in your stomach loosen and the battle between your brain and your soul come to rest. When he pulled back, he let his face nuzzle into your neck. A soft kiss was placed on your neck which made your mind feel even further at ease.
“I love you darling.” He paused. “And I know it may be hard to talk about your inner battles, but if or when you do feel ready, I am here. You don’t have to face them alone. I hope you know that I’ll always be fighting them with you, for you.” You felt his eyelashes flutter against the sensitive skin of your neck. A shiver followed down your spine while goosebumps rose at the realization that you had struck gold in loving Tom.
Something my soul needs
Is you, lying next to me
And it’s you, lying next to me
The song ended but the embrace didn’t. Tom were still held you close, with your fingers running through his curly mahogany-brown hair after he had fallen asleep. The only thing stuck on your mind now was the soft waves of love for him radiating through your heart and soul. He had unknowingly been the cure to the inexplicable anxieties you were plagued with that day. You saved the memory of him in this moment for when you would need it on another one of those days.